"The Road Less Travelled"
"I cannot believe the sheer audacity and the risky, foolish behavior you two have displayed this day! Why, it's simply beyond me to comprehend how utterly foolish, how completely unforgivable, why and how you two young rascals manage to keep from getting your fool selves killed--"
The dwarf went on and on as he hauled the soggy halflings out of the water by their shirt collars and plunked them on the edge of the riverbank. Dripping wet himself the dwarf was in no mood to listen to any excuses. He pushed them ahead of him, pausing briefly to wring the water from his long, drenched beard. Grumbling fiercely under his breath, Gimli retrieved the wizard's staff and tucked it under his arm. He grabbed each of them by the ear and hurried his reluctant charges on their way.
Who'll have the pleasure of clobbering us this time, Pippin wondered glumly wincing as he was pulled along. He offered no protest. No doubt Merry was thinking the same thing. Pippin glanced nervously at him but his cousin was busily inspecting the painful sting on his hand and avoiding all eye contact.
He went back to mulling over the possibilities. Pippin's eyes wandered over the thick stubby fingers of the meaty hand digging into his shoulder and rolled his eyes skyward. It might even be Gimli. He shivered. Never having been spanked by the dwarf, it was not something he really wished to experience. But most likely it would be Gandalf, he reassured himself. It was his staff they'd appropriated for their fruit gathering expedition after all. Too bad the apples had been located so close to that big nest of wasps. Not that they'd realized it at first, of course. But it hadn't stopped them. And that was just one of the reasons Gimli was so angry.
"He only got stung a few times," he whispered.
"You mean a few dozen," Merry muttered.
Pippin gulped. "Well, when you put it that way…" Pippin grimaced as the dwarf shook him solidly. "Oww! Gimli, not so hard! Dinna pull my blessed ear clean off now!"
Gimli shook him again. "Now you'd both best be silent laddies and listen to what I'm saying, else I'll be saying it a bit louder and lay a heavy hand on yer wee backsides for emphasis!"
"What happened?"
Gimli pressed them firmly down upon a log before facing Boromir who was returning with an armload of wood. He dropped his burden next to the pyre of stones Sam had assembled and straightened up, brushing the dirt from his hands. He studied the chagrined expressions of the hobbits noting with some amusement that the dwarf was gearing up for another round of scolding.
"These young scoundrels thought they'd knock a bunch of apples out of yonder tree--"
"With my staff, I see." The wizard had joined them and stood frowning his disapproval at the downtrodden hobbits. He took the staff from Gimli and inspected it carefully.
"Aye, you're fortunate they didn't break it!"
"Oh, it's not easily broken. That is not my concern." Gandalf watched as Merry and Pippin stared at the ground, in no hurry whatsoever to look at him. "Ahem!"
Two reluctant little faces rose to meet his.
"What is of concern is the fact that you absconded with my property without my permission."
Pippin squinted up at Gandalf. "You mean you would have let us borrow it if we'd asked you?"
"Certainly not."
"Well, you see then why we couldna ask!"
"Oh, that is simply wonderful logic, Peregrin. I would have expected nothing less from you."
Pippin pursed his lips and regarded the wizard thoughtfully for a moment wondering if the comment was a sincere appraisal of his reasoning ability, or merely a sarcastic remark.
"We're sorry Gandalf." Merry at least sounded contrite.
"Aye, we are," Pippin mumbled. Sorry we got caught, he added crossly under his breath.
"You both know better. I do accept your apology..."
Pippin sensed a great big "but" coming.
"However."
They sighed simultaneously.
"There is a price to be paid for your actions."
"Aye! And a payment there'll be if I have anything to say about it!"
"What is the matter Gimli?"
Aragorn had returned with Legolas and carefully lowered the brace of coneys to the ground. Behind them Frodo and Sam deposited their load of wood in the growing pile as the Ranger walked over to appraise the situation for himself. They watched curiously stealing glances at one another as they quickly summed up the problem.
"These wee scamps are the cause of this!" Gimli bared his arms with a flourish revealing the multiple wheals that were now swelling into angry red lumps. He pulled his long hair back to expose the stings on his face and neck.
"And exactly how did this occur?" The Ranger looked down sternly at the tops of two curly heads, bowed once more as if in supplication. "Merry, Pippin? Speak up. What did you do?"
"Well you see, it's more of a case of what we were trying to do," Pippin began.
"We were trying to get some of those lovely big apples out of that tree over there." Merry pointed over his shoulder.
Aragorn looked in that direction and then back at them, his eyebrows raised in question. "Yes? And?"
"Well, we couldna reach them so we borrowed Gandalf's staff," Pippin continued.
"You realize that was not a good idea," Aragorn frowned.
"Oh, aye," Pippin agreed readily. "Or, at least we do now." He eyed the wizard cautiously.
"Why didn't you just climb the tree?" Frodo asked.
The cousins shared a look of guilt.
"Umm…well, you see…there's a big wasp's nest in the tree," Merry began.
"You mean there WAS a wasp's nest in the tree! NOW there is a wasp's nest on the GROUND! With a good many ANGRY WASPS buzzing around it and THAT'S how I got THESE!" Gimli thrust his arms into the Ranger's face. Aragorn took a careful step backward.
Legolas stifled a chuckle under the pretense of a polite cough.
"I see." Aragorn studied the repentant youths. "I take it Gimli was attempting to rescue you from harm's way?"
Two heads nodded in unison.
"Aye, and it's a good thing there was water nearby for me to douse us in, else we might have been stung to death!"
"Ah. So that explains why you are all three dripping wet." Boromir also suppressed a chuckle.
The dwarf was not calming down. Instead he puffed himself up to his full height and raised his voice. "I fail to find anything amusing about being attacked by a swarm of wicked stinging insects! It's just very fortunate that I don't happen to be allergic to bee stings--"
"But Gimli, they were wasps," Pippin reminded him.
"WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE?"
All the hobbits cringed at his shouting.
"Now Gimli, perhaps you should dry off and I will provide you with some salve for those stings," Aragorn murmured, trying not to smile at the dwarf's discomfiture. "What about you two?" The Ranger's gaze fell upon the disgraced halflings. "Are you injured also?"
"Ah, well not much," mumbled Merry. "Gimli shielded us with his body and pushed us into the water. I only got stung once. See?" Merry held up his hand to display a wheal swelling on the back of it.
"And I got stung twice. Here," Pippin pointed to his cheek where an angry reddened lump was still increasing in size, "and here," he held up a hairy foot and waved it under Gimli's nose. He drew it back in alarm at the dwarf's low growl.
"I see. Well then, I will treat all three of you before we speak any further. Come." Aragorn gestured to them as he headed to his pack for the medication.
"I don't like the way he said that Merry," Pippin whispered. "What did he mean 'before we speak any further'"?
"Don't be so daft Pip. What do you think he meant?" Merry sounded exasperated as he plodded after the Ranger.
"Hmph! The way I see it we don't deserve to get our tails busted for this." He kept his voice low. "I mean, it was just an accident."
"I don't think Gimli sees it that way Pip. And he did get hurt trying to help us."
"Well, we never actually asked him to help us did we?"
"Hush up Pip!" Merry hurried ahead. His cousin's convoluted reasoning was a bit too much for him at the moment.
"But it isna fair to get punished for this!" Pippin's protests increased in volume as he was hauled roughly across the waiting knee.
The dwarf was having none of it and quickly responded. He yanked down his britches and immediately crashed a solid hand down on the waiting rump. The hobbit let out a satisfying yelp that made Gimli's ears ring and only served to motivate him. He laid swat after heavy swat across what he saw as a very deserving backside. More deserving of this than his cousin even, the dwarf thought grimly as he continued to spank Pippin with a sure hand. Little rascal! He doesn't think he deserves this? I'll show him what he deserves! Gimli enthusiastically meted out a thrashing he knew the halfling wouldn't forget any time soon, easily ignoring the howling and pleading.
Gimli was pleased he had been afforded this task. Why, it was one thing to do mischief and quite another to refuse to own up and accept the consequences! Especially when one's behavior resulted in injury both to self and others. The dwarf shook his head in consternation as he continued to apply his heavy hand. A stern verbal punishment accompanied it. Pippin wished he could stuff his fingers into both ears to shut out the dwarf's scolding. But he was too preoccupied with clutching the stocky leg for dear life lest he be dumped on his head as Gimli tipped him forward.
A few minutes later Pippin found himself on unsteady feet and watched in sympathy as a grimacing Merry was tossed across Gimli's knee. He turned away sniffling loudly and pulled up his britches while scrubbing at his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. Ah! He had certainly been right and no doubt about it. The dwarf had an incredibly hard hand that he used with alarming effectiveness. He reached back and carefully rubbed at his seat, wincing at the sound of each stinging slap and painful yelp from his cousin. Pippin noted that Merry was not making his usual effort to hold back. His cries were as enthusiastic as Gimli's paddling. After several more excruciating minutes he was also placed back on his feet. Together they limped to a bed of blankets where they were allowed to remain for the rest of the evening.
The fire crackled as it was stoked with wood. Two hobbits stared into it glumly as they lay on their bellies listening to bedtime preparations going on around them. Pippin leaned over and whispered in Merry's ear. "I've got an idea in mind for a good story tonight." His cousin looked at him curiously. "I want to hear a tale about a certain dwarf who got his own backside smacked good!" Merry raised his eyebrows. "I mean it Merry! We never hear anything about Gimli getting into trouble. He must have got a licking once in awhile, right? At least from his da, when he was young."
Pippin sighed and rolled onto his back. Wincing, he flipped back onto his stomach and his eyes narrowed when he noticed the dwarf smirking at his discomfort. Piping up so the others could hear he grumbled, "Well! How about a nice story then?" Pippin wrinkled his brow as if deep in thought. He brightened suddenly. "I know! Let's have a tale about a dwarfling who found himself in a bit of trouble and wound up getting his wee backside paddled soundly, hmmm? Does anyone know any stories like that?" Pippin smiled sweetly at Gimli and rested his chin in his hand, waiting expectantly.
Gimli snorted loudly. "Don't hold your breath lad. Dwarves never get in trouble."
Legolas snickered. Everyone twisted around to look at him. "I beg your pardon Gimli. I must inform you that I have indeed heard some very…hmm, how shall I put it… interesting stories about you from my father."
"And how would he know anything about me, elfling?"
"Do not forget that your father and mine shared a number of conversations many years ago during the time of the dwarven captivity at Mirkwood. It is my understanding that many an hour was whiled away with talk of their families." He smiled knowingly. "My adar related several rather," he coughed, "embarrassing stories about your youth to me during some of the long winter nights when I was young."
Gimli frowned severely. "Well now lad, if you do know anything that might be considered the least bit, how shall I say…embarrassing or inappropriate, hmm…how shall I put it --Ye had best keep it to yerself!"
Pippin delighted in the dwarf's discomfort. "Oh! Yes, tell us some of those tales!" He heard the dwarf growl but continued urging Legolas on, taking great pleasure in the reversal of roles. "Please?"
"If you know what's good for ye, ye'll quit now."
Legolas squirmed uncomfortably. He looked at Pippin apologetically.
Incensed, Pippin leaped up and stomped his foot, defying the dwarf. "It isna fair! It's perfectly fine to tell all the stories you like about the poor wee hobbits, particularly ME! But when the tables are turned it's a whole different story is it?"
"Enough Pippin! Best quit while you're still ahead." Frodo admonished him.
Gimli's face was warming into an alarming shade of red.
Merry reached up and yanked his cousin down beside him. Pippin landed with a thump and he hissed in his ear, "Are you crazy Pip? Think about who you're talking to!"
Everyone was quiet. A few of them glanced cautiously at Gimli to judge his reaction to the hobbit's accusations. The dwarf drew in a long heavy breath of air and released it. He studied the fuming halfling he'd so recently taken over his knee and sighed. Admitting that the scamp had made a point was not easy. Finally he turned to Legolas and nodded in Pippin's direction.
"All right, much as I am loathe to admit it the lad is right I suppose. I hope I am big enough to take hearing a tale of my younger days without it doing me any harm." He glared at the elf. "One word of warning though. Ye had best choose the story very carefully! I'm not certain exactly what my father told yours so many years ago, and the telling of tales has a way of getting exaggerated over time, ye realize. In other words,
do not be hurting me laddie!" Gimli folded his arms across his thick chest and waited.
Legolas gulped and looked a bit helpless. Taking pity on the elf Gandalf winked at the others and cleared his throat.
"Perhaps it would be better if I told a story."
Gimli wrinkled his brow in consternation. "And just how many of you know all these supposedly embarrassing tales of my youth?"
"Oh well Gimli, Gandalf is old! He's bound to be knowing something about everyone, now isn't he?"
"Thank you for that lovely vote of confidence Peregrin. Although Pippin has made a valid point after all." The wizard looked around at the little group. "I have walked Middle Earth for a great number of years and there is really very little I have not heard about at one time or another. So Gimli, if you will permit me?"
The dwarf nodded just as another protest burst from the hobbit.
"And how is it nobody ever asks if I'm giving permission for anything you're telling about me?"
Gandalf frowned. "Do you wish to hear a tale or not?"
Pippin sighed. "Aye," he said in a small voice.
"Well then. Allow me a moment to think." The wizard stared off for a few long minutes and pondered. "Ah, yes. I recall one that should be just right for this occasion." He looked at Merry and Pippin. "And perhaps you will both learn something from it."
They groaned.
"There's going to be a moral to this story, am I right?" Pippin pouted.
"You may judge that for yourself my lad. Gimli can tell you whether or not he learned his lesson about irresponsible and dangerous behavior that put him and his friends in serious peril."
It was the dwarf's turn to groan. He lowered his head into his hands. "Gandalf," he muttered, "does this tale involve bees by any chance?"
"Ah, you remember."
Gimli's head shot up and he scowled. "Of course I remember! How could I ever forget? I did something very foolish and wound up getting the worst hiding of my entire life!"
This statement perked up everyone's interest. The hobbits all grinned, Pippin the widest. Legolas smirked and settled back to enjoy his revenge. He was almost as delighted as Pippin. Boromir snickered and nodded at the Ranger. This was going to be good, he thought. Virtually all of them save the dwarf and Gandalf had been embarrassed by the many tales told at their expense. They were at last going to hear something about the dwarf. Boromir imagined they'd probably never hear any childhood tales about the wizard. He wondered idly if the wizard had ever been a child?
"When our friend here was just a dwarfling--" Gandalf frowned in Pippin's direction when the hobbit snickered gleefully.
"Sorry." He put a hand to his mouth and giggled. "It's just hard to picture."
Gimli rolled his eyes in disgust.
"As I was saying. When Gimli was a youth he fancied playing games with some of his young friends." The wizard looked in Gimli's direction and noted with amusement the dwarf's flushed cheeks. He chuckled to himself. It was indeed going to be a long uncomfortable story if he was embarrassed already, he mused. "Some of them were considered quite innocent while others were a bit treacherous. I got the impression that not all of these games were approved of by the elder dwarves and thus were not participated in whilst they were present. Am I correct Gimli?"
"Aye." The dwarf nodded his head reluctantly. "We would sneak off by ourselves to partake of the more dangerous ones. Often we'd have to play up in the mountains where we wouldn't be seen by the adults easily."
"Doesn't sound so different from children of other races," Boromir observed.
"Quite so. However as I seem to recall, and correct me if I'm wrong Gimli, on this particular occasion a certain young dwarfling had been forbidden to leave his home and go outside to play."
"Sound familiar Pip?"
Pippin's hand shot out and thumped Merry firmly in the back of his head. Merry responded by rolling his cousin over hard on his sore backside.
Gandalf frowned at their antics and continued, "Thus the dwarfling knew he would find himself in a good deal of trouble if he did so, being that he was not in his parents' good graces at the time."
Gimli muttered self-consciously but offered no comment.
"However it seemed he was not awfully concerned about the outcome of his reckless behavior, so the young one went gleefully about his business. He crawled out the window of his bed chamber and went to meet up with his co-conspirators--"
"Gandalf, to hear you tell the story it sounds like I was some sort of outlaw!"
"Nay, Gimli. I did not intend to give that impression." The wizard laughed merrily. "You were simply a disobedient child who was seeking out yet another avenue of mischief to see how far you might push the boundaries of good sense."
"Aye, I suppose so." The dwarf shot a look at first Legolas and then Pippin, as if daring them to make light of this information.
The elf's mouth twitched in ill concealed amusement but he was silent. Pippin had no such compunctions about grinning openly at him and released a daring little chuckle. The dwarf bristled but turned back to Gandalf, choosing to ignore them.
"As I was saying. Young Gimli met up with several of his friends and headed up into the mountains to find some sort of suitably risky pastime. Neither he nor his companions apparently gave a thought to the worry they might cause if anyone noticed they had disappeared for an entire day."
"We did not intend to be gone for the entire day! We were only going to play a game or two and then return home."
The dwarf sounded petulant. Aragorn had to grin. It was difficult to imagine the stoic Gimli as a naughty little dwarfling out to defy his parent's directive to stay confined to his room.
"Ah, but the best laid plans as the saying goes, often go to…"
"Mount Doom in a handbasket!" Pippin gleefully supplied.
"And you should know Pip," teased Frodo. "Because this definitely reminds me of some of your escapades!"
"And it probably ends just about as well too," finished Merry.
"Well, we will never know unless you pipe down and allow Gandalf to finish the story!" Pippin admonished them. He turned back to the wizard and prompted, "Go ahead Gandalf, tell us what happened to poor little Gimli." He tossed a saucy look in the dwarf's direction.
Gimli was tempted to leap up and shake the cheeky youth until his teeth rattled in his head. Instead, he took a deep breath and slowly counted to ten. Calmer now but just barely, he drew his attention back to what Gandalf was saying.
"The group of lads had crossed a foot bridge high up on one of the trails--"
"Ah yes, I do recall how treacherous those things were," Gimli interrupted. "They had a frightening way of swaying back and forth when you were right in the middle of them." He laughed. "Particularly if some of your friends were on the other side causing it to swing!"
"Some friends," mumbled Sam.
"There we were, stuck in the middle of that thing and two of the other lads just a pulling and shaking it! I thought I was going to part with my stomach contents!"
"Ewww!" Pippin made a face.
The dwarf laughed uproariously at having had that effect on him. "Ha! Think that's sickening do ye? Why I could tell you some tales that'd curl the hair on your woolly feet! For instance--"
The wizard cleared his throat noisily. "Ahem! Gimli, have you decided you would care to tell this tale? No? Then do be quiet both of you, and allow me a bit of courtesy."
"Sorry Gandalf," muttered the dwarf and the hobbit together.
"The bridge had been weakened by your antics had it not? You and the others were unable to cross it upon your return and had to seek out an alternative route down the mountain."
"Aye, it broke completely away the moment one foot was set upon it. That certainly did give us pause." Gimli stroked his beard thoughtfully. "And caused us to choose a path we would not have otherwise, save for our fear of what would happen should we be gone for too long…or missed outright, as was my concern," he admitted sheepishly.
"Yes, once again the ill advised actions of youth." Gandalf looked around the little gathering. "Their journey took them a good deal out of the way home they were familiar with and the lads got lost. Night fell and they sought shelter in a cavern."
"Quite comfortable it was too. We sat around our campfire and told stories and shared the scant bit of food we had tucked into our clothing for our excursion. Much like what we're doing now. Very enjoyable."
"Except for the guilt that was gnawing at you for disobeying your parents and your growing dismay as you realized what your reception at home would be like in the morning."
"Well if you have to mention that then yes, I was a wee bit concerned that my father would not view my outing as just a bit of fun." He cleared his throat self-consciously. "Given that I was gone for the entire night…"
"And were not supposed to leave your room," Legolas reminded him helpfully.
"Why thank ye lad! I never would have thought of that."
"When morning came the little miscreants started out again. I recall being told that it was very late in the day before you were located near the foothills and running as if a balrog was flaming at your backs--"
"What happened Gimli?" Pippin interrupted, barely able to contain his glee. "Did your da meet you on the path holding his great big belt? Did you run away from him? And did he whip you all the way home in front of your friends?"
"No Peregrin! Nothing quite as dramatic as all that." He peered closer at Pippin's grin and scowled. "You're enjoying this a bit too much, ye little imp."
"Oh, but it did become quite a bit more dramatic before the end Gimli," the wizard corrected him. "You were gone for many hours, after all. Your father was quite livid over your disappearance at first. When they discovered you were not in your room that evening the search developed into a greater hunt when it was discovered that your friends had also gone missing. The anger turned into fear and everyone spent a long night waiting the dawn so the search could resume. I understand your poor mother was simply beside herself with worry."
The dwarf nodded. "I do regret worrying her."
Legolas leaned over and whispered conspiratorially to Pippin, "I imagine he regretted a great deal more than that before the next day was over!" The hobbit grinned back at him and nodded vigorously.
"What's that ye say? Speak up so we can all hear ye!"
"Nothing Gimli," Pippin told him cheerfully.
"The route they took was going well right up until they reached the wooded area they needed to pass through. The lads decided to take some rest and located a large shade tree. During their idling one of them noticed there was a swarm of bees going in and out of a fallen log not far from where they rested. Being normal rambunctious lads like some others I know, they decided to throw some rocks at the log and then poke it with sticks. Naturally, the bees became angry. However, merely watching the restless bees was not excitement enough and one of the lads," Gandalf looked meaningfully at the dwarf, "decided to roll the log over with his foot."
The group of listeners looked at each other uncomfortably and several of them groaned. Gimli hung his head.
"Once again it was fortunate indeed there was water nearby because of course the bees tore out of the log in a swarm and went straight for the foolish youths in a great buzzing horde." He looked at Gimli with sympathy. "Only the river nearby saved them from being stung to death."
Gimli spoke in a low voice. "One of my friends was allergic to bees and he was nearest to the front of the log where they emerged. He was engulfed by the swarm before we even knew what was happening." The dwarf shuddered, his eyes gazing past them unfocused, recalling the scene. "He nearly died before we got him to the Healer." His eyes were bright with unshed tears and he looked mournfully over at Gandalf. "That's why we were running. We were trying to find our way back as quickly as we could in order to get help."
Everyone remained quiet for several long minutes. Finally Gimli raised his head and looked sternly at Merry and Pippin.
"Now perhaps ye can understand why I was so upset."
They both had the good sense to look ashamed.
"I could see my friend when all those wasps came charging in yer direction. It was like it was happening all over again. YE SCARED THE STUFFING OUT OF ME!"
The dwarf's sudden bellow caused them all to jump. Still no one spoke.
Finally Gimli himself broke the silence. Nodding at Gandalf he said, "I suppose I should finish this tale."
The wizard inclined his head in agreement.
Gimli looked solemnly at Pippin and Merry. "I got my comeuppance just as sure as you two did, and I deserved it. At that point I even welcomed it. Of course, I wasn't happy when I finally had to face my father and explain myself. I apologized to my mother for causing her so much worry and for disobeying them and sneaking out. For what good that did me," he chuckled.
He regarded Pippin directly now, a huge scowl on his face. "So, young hobbit. Ye wanted to know just what happens to wicked dwarfling brats who disobey their parents and wreak all sort of havoc?"
Pippin actually shrank back, not quite sure where Gimli was about to direct all that anger. The dwarf surprised him by chuckling warmly and softening his expression.
"This is where my father's great big belt does come into the picture young Pippin. After all was said and done and we knew my friend was going to live, he went for his strap and bade me follow him out back to the little shed where he stored his tools. I can tell ye I was quaking in my boots by then and I just wanted to get it over with. All I could think about was the bad thing I'd done, starting with willfully disobeying my parents, and I knew I was in for a world of hurt." He grimaced at the memory.
"My father started in with the longest angry scolding he'd ever bestowed upon me, and of course that just drew out my suffering even longer!" He chuckled. "Which was probably his intention, now that I think about it. On the one hand I wanted to get my punishment over with, but on the other…" The dwarf paused, remembering. "And all the while he was reprimanding me that strap was dangling from his hand. I couldn't take my eyes off it! Well, I knew what was going to happen when he finished talking. At long last, he did. And then he hauled my sorry bare bottom over his knee."
Gimli shook his head at the memory. "And that was the flat out worst whipping he ever gave me in the whole of my young life!" He reached over and took Pippin's chin in his hand and gazed steadily into the youth's bright green eyes, his expression serious. "And I never would have dreamed of telling him I wasn't deserving of that punishment. I was responsible for my friend almost dying, even though I had meant no harm. It goes to show you how a seemingly innocent act, one not well thought out, can bring harm to both yourself and another." He released him and sat back against a tree. "Well? What do you think of that?"
Pippin had gone a bit pale and hung his head for a moment. Finally he looked up. "I'm sorry we got you hurt Gimli. And I'm sorry I said I didna deserve the tanning you gave me."
"I'm sorry too Gimli." Merry put his arm around his cousin's shoulders and squeezed him. "We weren't thinking."
"No, you most certainly were not. I trust you did understand the moral of the story then?" Gandalf watched them closely.
"Oh, aye! Most definitely so." Pippin's head bobbed up and down.
The wizard raised an eyebrow in expectation. "Well?"
The cousins looked at each other and then back at the group.
"We need to stop and think more clearly before we do anything that might be dangerous," Merry began. "Especially if it might mean someone could get hurt."
"And we need to understand that if we get caught--"
"Ahem!" Gimli scowled, cutting Pippin off.
He eyed the dwarf warily. "I mean, if we do indeed participate in, umm…a harmless prank or two, uh…we have to be willing to accept the consequences of our behavior."
"Better. What else?" Gimli prompted.
"Umm, we shouldna do dangerous things in the first place." Pippin looked at Merry for help.
Merry continued, "Well, when we see something we can't do by ourselves we should ask for help. Then maybe we wouldn't get in trouble."
"And?"
"Don't ever borrow a wizard's staff," Pippin said solemnly.
"And don't ever antagonize a dwarf," added Merry.
"Or a wizard," giggled Pippin. "Or for that matter a Ranger or a big Gondorian captain." He stole a mischievous glance at Aragorn and Boromir and was rewarded with their laughter. Pippin grinned at Legolas. "Or an elf either, I suppose."
Legolas chuckled.
"Or try to reach apples you can't get to." Merry joined in his cousin's enthusiasm.
"Especially if they happen to be near a wasp's nest."
Gimli sighed. "Are ye not forgetting the most important lesson of all?"
They thought hard for a few minutes and looked at one another, bewildered.
The dwarf shook his head slowly. "Lads. Think about it." Gimli tapped them each atop their head. "Many people care about ye, yer family and yer friends. Think about their feelings once in awhile! Tis not a kind thing to frighten them half outta their wits! So don't be wasting your time with dangerous activities without stopping to think it over first. What I'm trying to say ye wee foolish brats is we wouldn't want to lose ye!" He looked around at the group who had grown as close as a family over the time and peril they had shared thus far. "We have far too much of our own time and energy invested in keeping ye alive and well already."
The halflings appeared humbled as they nodded their understanding. All was quiet and thoughtful around the campfire for quite a few minutes. At last, Pippin stretched mightily and clambered to his feet.
"Well now! I think it's time we got some of those apples, eh?" He started to saunter off in the direction of the tree. Looking back over his shoulder he added, "Those wasps have got to be gone by now, don't you think? What with their nest laying on the ground and all."
The others stared at one another in amazement and then over at the dwarf. Gimli's face was glowing a maddening shade of red and he shot abruptly to his feet uttering a loud "ARRRGGGHHHH!" as he sprinted after the hobbit. The group winced as one at the high pitched cry as Gimli tackled him bodily.
Merry grinned at them. "Pippin never has had a particularly good memory!"