The Naruto Usumaki movie
(Comments from the writer) Koniichiwa! First I'd like to give my firm thanks to all who read my first parody and fanfic. Arigatou. Also I want to thank my friend Hikari who helped me get an account on this sight. Not to mention Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Love you guys! Now enjoy this awkward paring. P.S. This takes place in Sippuden.
(SpongeBob) Naruto
(Patrick) Konahamaru
(Squidward) Sasuke
(Mindy) Hinata
(King Neptune) Lord Hiyashi
(Mr. Krabs) Lady Tsunade
(Sandy) Sakura
(Mrs. Puff) Tenten
(Gary) Ucha
(Perch Perkins) Hikari
(Plankton) Itachi
(Karen) Kisame
(Dennis) Deidara
(The Monsters) All the Demons
(Phil) Zuko
(David Hasslehoff) Magnadramon
(The Cyclops) Pain
(The two idiots) Pumpkinmon and Gatsumon
(Thugs) Rogue Ninja
(The Narrator) Gatomon and Lilly
(The Pirates) The Naruto fan club
Chapter 1: The movie begins!
It was a beautiful day. The Naruto fan club was eagerly waiting outside their clubhouse for Diggie one of their senior naruto club members to return.
"I GOT THEM, I GOT THEM!!" A voice yelled
"Look! He's back!" Said Crowla Nestin who was second in command.
"I got them captain!" said Diggie. He had a giant grin on his face.
Their captain was tall, lanky, and wore a Kakashi outfit.
"I never thought I'd see it with my own eye!" Said the captain, as he held up the items that everyone had waited for. "Ticket's to the Naruto Movie!"
They all grabbed one and hustled onto the fan-club-bus. All the way they sang Naruto songs and talked all about Naruto. When they got there, they pushed and shoved through the ticket line, concession stand, and theater aisles to get the best seats. Slowly the curtains rose. And the movie started...
The movie opened on the seinary of the 5 Hokage faces carved into the side of the mountain. Suddenly a cat-like voice spoke up in the back-ground...
"Ah the hidden leaf village." The voice belonged to Lilly the cat.
"So Mysterious." Said another voice belonging to Gatomon.
"So beautiful." Said Lilly.
"So...Umm...Hidden by leaves?" Said Gatomon.
Then they both said. "Our story begins, at the hidden leaf villages famous eatery the Irumishi Noodle Shop." The seen changed to the Irumishi Noodle Shop. "Were..." But as soon as the seen changed the mood did too. Reporters and ninja were gathered in front of the noodle shop, which was surrounded by yellow tape. the ninja were telling people to get back. "What?" Said Gatomon and Lilly. "Wait a minute, what's going on here!?"
A bunch of reporters surrounded Lady Tsunade. they were asking her questions, but all she said was. "We Have a situation in there I'd rather not discuss until the 6th Hokage gets here!"
"There he is!" said one of the reporters.
Suddenly a black carriage with hot rod flames sped by being pulled by feudal lords bulls. It turned hard and curved to a stop. The carriage door opened and a black cowboy boot with a cobra on it stepped out. And who was wearing this boot? Why none other than Naruto Usumaki.
"Talk to me grams." Said Naruto flatly as he walked toward the seen.
"A lord of a distant country came to visit, and he wanted to by some raman." Said Lady Tsunade. "It started out as a simple order, Miso ramen with BBQ pork. But when he took a bite...NO PORK!!" She burst into tears, but Naruto slapped her.
"Get ahold of yourself Tsunade." Said Naruto as he tured and squnted his eyes. "I'm Going in."
He slipped under the curtain to find a man crying.
"Take it easy friend. I'm the Hokage of this village." He said as he walked up to the man, and put a briefcase on the table. "Do you got a name?"
"Z-Zuko..." Said the man.
"Do you have a family Zuko?" Asked Naruto as he put on a pair of rubber gloves. Snap!
"Eh...eh...eh..."
Naruto snapped his fingers twice. "Common Zuko stay with me! Lets hear about that family!"
"Um...I have a wife and two beautiful children." Answered Zuko.
"That's what it's all about." Said Naruto. "Can I ask you to do something for me Zuko?"
"W-what?" Asked Zuko a little scared.
"Say pork." He said as he slowly used a pair of tweezers to lower the pork to the ramen boal.
life saport beeping in the background going faster and faster until the seen change
He stepped out (Zuko forgive me!) carrying Zuko, who held the ramen bowl with a smile, and said. "Order up!"
Every one gathered around him lifted him up and said. "THREE CHEERS FOR THE HOKAGE! HIP HIP BRiNG HIP HIP BRiNG"
Naruto woke to his alarm clock. He was in his pajamas...It was just a dream. (Thank goodness! --)
He stopped his alarm clock and Jumped out of bed and burst into the door of his roommate, Ucha's room. "Ucha! I had that dream again."
"-- The one were you dropped dead for wakening me?..." Said Ucha.
"No...The one were I become Hokage." Said Naruto.
"Whatever..." She turned her back to him.
"And you know what? It's finally going to come true because today!" He turned to the calender with kittens on it and took a red marker to it. "Pardon this calender...Is the day of the Hokage naming ceremony! Where Lady Tsunade who has retired will name the 6th Hokage!"
"Oh ya. I almost forgot." Said Ucha sitting up. "I wonder who it gonna be."
"Who's it gonna be!" Said Naruto in shock as though it were obvious. "Why don't you ask my wall of 486 consecutive successful missions!" He pointed to the wall behind him.
"HAY! How'd those get there?!" Said Ucha angrily.
"Well I'm off to the naming ceremony! Hokage! BELIEVE IT!"
He left the room and got dressed in his room. He ate ramen and took a sip of milk. Ucha came out in her nightgown and took a yogurt out of the fridge. She turned to Naruto and said. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. That milk is past it's expiration date. I can smell it from here..."Naruto immediately spit out the milk...
Later he was on his way to the ceremony. Yelling "Hokage! Believe it!" He passed the bath house were Sasuke was taking a bath. Thinking he was alone he was singing. "Ladade ladado ladadum Ladade ladado ladadum..." Suddenly a voice came from behind him and he didn't even notice. It too was singing. "Ladade ladado ladadum Ladade ladado ladadum..." The voice was Naruto. He was standing on the water, fully clothed, behind Sasuke scrubbing his back with a wash brush.
"AAAAHHH! NARUTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Yelled Sasuke thoroughly embarrassed.
"Hay Sasuke. I wanted to tell you something." Said Naruto.
"Can't it wait til we get to the naming ceremony?!" Asked Sasuke.
"There'll be no time at the naming ceremony." Said Naruto.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Asked Sasuke.
"I just wanted to tell you I'll be mentioning you in my Hokage acceptance speech..."
"GET OUT!!" Yelled Sasuke as he Through him out of the bath house.
"That sounds like the 6th Hokage!" Said a voice from above. It was Konahamaru. His head was sticking out of the hollow trunk passage.
"That's right Konahamaru." Said Naruto. "And after the ceremony were going were all the best ramen is!"
"You mean?" Said Konahamaru.
"The Irumishi Noodle shop." Said Naruto.
"WOOOHOOO!!" Said Konahamaru as he jumped down on top Naruto's shoulders.
"Ooof! Konahamaru get off me! You're heavy!" Said Naruto.
"Oops! Sorry boss." He climbed off Naruto.
Naruto looked at the bath house clock. "Uh-oh! I'm gonna be late! See ya later Konahamaru!" He said to the kid as he ran off.
"See ya later boss!" Said Konahamaru. "And keep an eye out for me at the ceremony! I've got a little surprise for you!"
Meanwhile, In front of the house of the Hokage. Hikari Ino was holding a microphone in front of a camera. She was giving an interview to Lady Tsunade.
"Hello! Hikari Ino here, coming to you live in front of the house of the Hokage! I'm here with Lady Tsunade. Lady Tsunade I'm sure the village is wondering what made you retire?"
"Well. As of a couple weeks ago I had gotten into a horrible accident and lost a majority of my chakara with no way to restore it." She had a scar across the purple diamond shape on her forehead.
"Gasp! Lost most your chakara! How can that happen?!" Asked Hikari.
"During a fight with the Akoutskii leader, Pain, my forehead got damaged, and I've been storing chakara there for years. So all the chakara spilled out. Luckily I had enough left to save myself and keep my form. But I have about as much power as a preschooler..."
"That's terrible!" Said Hikari. " What do you plan to do after you've retired?"
"Well I plan to go back to doing what I do best. Playing cards and winning at the slots!"
"Umm...yah..." Said Hikari.
Meanwhile, a man was watching them from a distance. Hiding in the trees was Itachi... "No chakara huh..."
"What you thinking about Itachi" Said Kisame, who was standing next to him.
"No one in that pathetic village is as strong as she was..." He answered. "I think it's time we made our move. Soon the village will tear it self apart, and when that happens there'll be no one to stop us. By tomorrow I'll have the scroll, and when I do, I'll separate that dim-wit Naruto from that fox. Then Pain will be unstoppable."
Minutes later, In front of the house of the Hokage, Lady Tsunade stood to speak. "Hello, and welcome. We've gathered here today to name the new Hokage."
A voice came from the adiance. It was Tenten. "WE PAID 900 YEN FOR THIS?!"
"I PAID 1000!!"
"As you all know I've decided to retire." Tsunade continued. "So without anymore delay we will go onto the naming of the 6th Hokage."
Suddenly out of the audience came Naruto's voice, loud and clear. He was clapping hard. "OW! OH YAH! THAT'S RIGHT! WOO YAH! WOOHOO! OW! SHUSH!" The person he shushed was Sasuke, who was looking at Naruto as though he were crazy, but didn't say anything. We all know what he was thinking. (Naruto you loser! Shut up!)
"Umm...o...k...Well anyway, the person who'll be Hokage is a strong, hardworking ninja!"
"She's right!" Thought Naruto.
"His surname you all know it starts with a "U!"
"Yes!" Thought Naruto.
"The next Hokage is..."
"YES?!" Thought Naruto.
"SASUKE UCHIHA!" Said Lady Tsunade, as a banner was unrolled with the Uchiha symble on it.
"YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!! YYYYAAAAAAHHH!! OH better luck next time buddy!" He said as he shook Sasuke's hand. As he ran onto the he yelled "WOOOHOOO!! YAH!! ALL RIGHT WOO!!" He stood up on the stage. "People of the Hidden Leaf Village! As Hokage I'll..." But Lady Tsunade Interrupted him. "Umm Naruto..."
"Hold on fokes I'm getting an important news flash from granny Tsunade. Go ahead Grams."
She whispered in his ear."Mermmer mermmer mermmer..."
"I making a complete what of myself?" Asked Naruto.
"Mermmer mermmer mermmer..." She whispered.
"The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen?" He asked.
"Mermmer mermmer mermmer..." She whispered.
"And now it's worse cause I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?..."
"OH FOR PEAT'S SAKE NARUTO!! You didn't become Hokage!"
"What?!" Asked Naruto in shock.
"You-did not-become-Hokage!" Said Lady Tsunade.
"But why?!" Said Naruto, outraged and sad at the same time.
"Naruto..." Began Tsunade. "Your a great ninja, one of the best...but being Hokage takes allot of responsibility...and Sasuke...well he's more...Mature than you..."
"I'M NOT MATURE?!" Said Naruto outraged.
"Listen theirs a word for people like you and that word is...Umm let me think..." Said Tsunade.
"A freak!" Yelled some guy.
"No not a freak." Said Tsunade.
"A Goofball!" Yelled Ino.
"Closer. but not quite."
A bunch of suggestions came out of the audience "A ding-a-ling!" "A wingnut!" "A knuckle-head-mic-spazatron!"
"May I suggest #1 hiperactive knuckle-headed ninja." Said Kakashi.
"ENOUGH!!" Yelled Tsunade. "Listen what I'm trying to say is your just a kid. An being Hokage is an adult job, understand."
"Ya I understand..." Said Naruto in an angery and thuroghly dissapointed voice, and he ran off.
"Naruto! Wait!" Said Sakura but Kakashi put his hand on her shoulder, and shook his head no. Indicating to her to leave Naruto alone.
"Sigh Poor kid..." Said Lady Tsunade.
Suddenly Konahamaru showed up used the sexy jutsu and held up a sign saying (GO NARUTO) In which he yelled " GO NARUTO!!" All the guy's fanted from sexual shock. Blood running from their noses. The girls getting ready to attack.
No one could hear Naruto crying. His dream was ruind.