Disclaimer; I own nothing…
A/N; this is a song-fic set to 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. This is Ianto and what he went through while Jack was with the doctor during the year that never was. Sorry i have uploaded this three times, i just kept forgetting thigs :P any way ENJOY!!

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Ianto had turned into a zombie since Jack left. The rest of the team had tried to get him to come out with them or at least go home, but he never did. He always stayed at the hub, only leaving for missions or coffee.

Owen had confronted Ianto on this and the younger man just said. "I know he's gone, but I can still feel him."

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

A month after Jack left, Ianto was still walking around with a lost look behind his eyes. Although the team didn't see it, Ianto would cry himself to sleep every night. A part of him knew that there wasn't much point in doing this but Jack was a fixed point in time, so it made sense that this would be the one wound that time could never heal.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

Ianto was there for Jack in the times when immortality became too much to bare. He saw the side of Jack that no one else saw, the hurt scared man, the man who wanted nothing more than to grow old just like everybody else. Ianto lost count of the amount of times he had held on to Jack as he cried, or the times when they would sit up in his office and the younger man would listen to the captivating tales.

Even with the pain the immortal was putting Ianto through, the younger man knew that if Jack were to return he would run straight into the strong arms.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

At the beginning of their relationship the Welshman would wake up screaming, haunted by the memories of Canary Warf and a semi-converted Lisa. Jack would just wrap his arms around him and chase away all of the nightmares by his mere presence. But now Ianto's dreams are haunted by blue eyes and chiselled jaws.

Ianto could actually feel his sanity slipping from him, he even thought that if took a step back he could probably see it happening.


These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Ianto had always loved what was timeless, that was probably why he fell so hard for the charismatic captain so fast. But because he fell so hard so fast, the pain is greater than it should be, and time can't erase the pain he felt. Ianto resigned himself to having forever open wounds.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Ianto was sitting in Jack's office two months after the captain deserted them all. He took a look at the photo's in the top drawer in the desk, even as the in the oldest photo's Jack looked exactly the same, the only change being the blue eyes, they seemed to become more and more haunted. Jack was gone and he had been gone for two months, leaving Ianto to fight the dreams by himself, the dreams of the one who use to do it for him.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

It had been three months since Jack left and Ianto was still to heal. As they chased the stolen car driven by a blow fish, Ianto had to wonder if he would ever see his lost love ever again.

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