Author's Note: I've been going through a lot of changes in my life, and most of them have been for the better. I am still adjusting, so my stories are going to be slow in coming. Also, this story has nothing to do with the series, except with the characters of course. I haven't watched all of the fourth season, and I know that most of the stuff that happens in this story doesn't really happen. Though it SHOULD have happened... If I owned this series, things would have turned out so differently.

While she may or may not be my beta anymore, as I can't seem to contact her, fulofhyperness is an amazing writer, and you should read some of her works.

Chapter 1: Arthur Finds Out

"Merlin! What's taking you so long? I want to go already." Arthur practically whined. I smiled, even though he couldn't see me as I had my back to him.

"Just a minute, sire. I am just getting finished saddling the horses." I said softly, and then, looking around, I gave him a quick peck on the lips when I realized that no one else was looking. I went back to my task of saddling up the horses.

Arthur and I had been seeing each other as more than friends for over a month now, and I knew better than to make it public knowledge. Arthur didn't even need to ask me. I knew how badly it could hurt his image if it was found out that he was seeing his servant, let alone another man. I loved him to death, and I was hoping that he loved me too. Neither of us had said it yet. I was waiting for the right time, and I was hoping that this outing would be the right time.

"All right, there we are. All saddled up, just like you asked sire." I said, stepping away from the two horses. It was when I went to wake him up that morning that he asked me if I wanted to go on a hunting trip with him. I was a bit hesitant to go, seeing as how I was almost certain that the knights knew how I felt about the Prince. I knew that Gwaine knew, and he took every opportunity to let me know that he knew. It was when Arthur said that it would just be me and him that I jumped at the chance.

"Finally. Thought I was going to have to wait another century before we got started." Arthur said. It made me smile, as I knew that he was only playing, and that he truly did appreciate what I did for him, even if it wasn't as speedy as some of the other servants would have accomplished it.

The trip out of the gate was quiet and uneventful. It wasn't a tense quiet, but more a friendly one. I took the time to remember what had happened that had led to the relationship I had with Arthur.

I walked into Arthur's chambers, fidgeting slightly. Arthur was finally able to be up and around after nearly being killed in his fight against Morgana. She had nearly killed him, and I only got there just in time.

That whole fiasco made me realize that I needed to swallow my fears and tell Arthur how I felt about him. I knew that I had loved the Prince ever since he let his true kindness show. He may still be a prat, but he had the heart of a true and noble King. It made me seem him in a different light. Things from that point on took on a whole new meaning for me. I realized that I wanted to spend more time with him, and that was precisely what I did.

"Merlin, are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand there?" Arthur asked, though it lacked the usual bite from his usual insults. He was standing near his window, looking thoughtfully out into the courtyard. I knew from experience that he only did that when he was seriously thinking about something.

"Sorry Sire." I said, walking in and closing the door behind me. Arthur looked at me, and it sent a jolt down my spine. I had come so close to losing him, and to have lost him without letting him know how much he was loved, not only by me, but by all of the rest of the kingdom, would have been... indescribable.

"Sire. I wanted to let you know that, while I may not be the most competent manservant, and while I may only be a servant in general, I would like to think that we have become friends in the time that we have known each other. We all nearly lost you in the fight against Morgana, and during the time it took for you to recover, it occurred to me that no one had taken time out of their lives to tell you how utterly loved you are. You are so noble and have such a kind heart. While you may view kindness as a weakness, it is more powerful than fear in every way. I wanted to let you know that I, and any of your subjects, would do anything for you." I said, just barely keeping my emotions in check. I was so close to crying because I realized how empty my life would have been had I lost him.

"Merlin, you are my best friend, and one of my most trusted advisers. You say kind and noble, but I never miss an opportunity to tell you how much of an imbecile you are. I never told you that I never meant any of it. You are the one and only person that I know that won't treat me like a Prince. You treat me like another human being, and you aren't afraid to tell me when I am in the wrong. Thank you for all you have done for me, and for the kingdom. I have never told you thank you before." Arthur said kindly, and his speech made me start crying. I wrapped my arms around myself and started sobbing silently. Arthur, being the kind and noble person that he is, went over and wrapped his arms around me as well.

"Shh, it's okay. Everything turned out okay." He said. He was being so calming and soothing that, for a split second, I let my self control slip. I took his face in my hands and planted a feather soft kiss on his lips. It sent a shock throughout my entire body, and also made me remember my place. I backed off quickly, and because Arthur's hold on me had loosened, I managed to break free. I looked at him, and he looked shocked. I quickly fled the room before that shock could turn into something that could tear a hole through my heart.

I ran all of the way to my bedroom in Gaius's chambers, thanking the heavens that he was out in the market to get fresh ingredients. I felt bad about letting my feelings known to Arthur, and it hurt that he probably wouldn't accept them, but I forced my mind to other things. I landed face down on my bed, and just thought about that simple kiss that we had shared. I smiled gently at the feeling that was still working through my system, making me feel warm and content.

When I felt the bed dip beside me, I thought that Gaius must be home, so I sighed and started to get up, already having an explanation on my lips as to why I was in my room when I should have been tending to Arthur. I froze and my mind went blank when I saw that it wasn't Gaius at all, but Arthur himself. I took a second to gauge his expression. To my relief, he didn't seem disgusted, but apart from that, I couldn't tell what he was thinking. The years that he had spent in court with his father had certainly perfected his poker face.

"What exactly happened back there Merlin?" Arthur asked. Part of me wanted to just laugh it off, and say that nothing had happened and that I had made a mistake, but a greater part of me just wanted to let go and tell Arthur so that I could get rid of the burden on my chest.

"... I kissed you Sire. I apologize if it was unwelcome, and you can be assured that it won't happen again. I got caught up in the moment. You were being so caring towards me that I took advantage of that moment. If you will excuse me my lord, I do believe that the stables need mucking." I said, and started to get up. Arthur surprised me by grabbing my wrist and gently tugging. I got the hint and sat back down on the bed. I turned to Arthur, curios as to why he was keeping me there.

"You left before I could say or do anything." Arthur simply said, and while I didn't exactly know what he meant, my chest flared with hope that he might feel the same way. The hope in my chest nearly burst out of me when Arthur started to lean closer to me, his gaze focused on my lips. Just before he touched my lips with his, he flicked his gaze up to my eyes, and I could see the question in there. I didn't let words ruin the moment, but instead closed the distance, closing my eyes in pure bliss at the feeling of electricity that the simple kiss produced.

Arthur kissed me back, and it was better than I had ever though possible. I didn't want it to stop, but because I am human, I had to let go for air. Arthur was panting just as badly as I was, and that made me happy. He leaned his forehead against mine, and smiled into my eyes.

"So, does this make us more than friends?" I asked hesitantly, hoping that the fear of the answer didn't show too much in my face or eyes. Arthur smiled, and kissed the tip on my nose in answer. It was so unlike him, but something that seemed so like him at the same time that I couldn't help but laugh. I threw my arms around him and hugged him for dear life.

I had no idea that I was smiling like a loon, like I have a tendency to do, according to Arthur, until Arthur pointed it out. I blushed slightly at being caught, but answered sincerely nonetheless. We weren't in Camelot anymore, so I was free to speak my mind.

"What are you smiling about Merlin? Something I should know about?" Arthur asked. I could tell without even looking at him that he was smiling too.

"I was thinking about how our relationship started is all." I said. I looked at his face, and sure enough, he was smiling as well. He looked at me and I could see the affection in his eyes. I wouldn't let myself think of it as love, because I didn't want to get my hopes up. We hadn't been together for very long, and he has no reason to love me when I still have a secret that I am keeping from him. That thought made me frown, and I just knew that I was going to have to tell him about my magic before I could even think about telling him that I love him.

"What's the matter Merlin? You look like you just sucked on a lemon." Arthur stated, worry evident in his tone. It only made me feel worse. I had made up my mind about telling him before we had even set out, but I didn't let my mind dwell on it, as I simply wasn't sure how he was going to respond. It had been me that had inadvertently killed his father, after all.

"Arthur, we need to talk about something." I said. The seriousness in my tone left no room for argument or joking, and I knew that Arthur could sense that. We were far enough from Camelot that no one would sneak up on us that we knew. Arthur led the horses into a small trail, and after a few moments, the trail ended in a small meadow. I jumped down, and so did Arthur.

I tied the horses up to a nearby tree, taking my time so as to stall. After that was accomplished, I walked over to Arthur, who was looking at me with a confused expression on his face. I kissed him full on the mouth, not bothering to hide the desperate edge to it.

I swiped my tongue across his bottom lip, and after a moment's hesitation, he let me in. Usually, there would have been a battle for dominance, but Arthur seemed to realize that I needed to take what I wanted from the kiss. He let me have my way. I started rubbing his tongue with mine, and shivered when he moaned. My breathing sped up, and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to keep up the kiss much more.

When I broke apart for air, Arthur looked at me bewildered. He was panting so harshly that it took him a few moments to be able to speak. When he did, his voice was husky, and I shivered at hearing it, committing it to memory in case it was the last time that I heard him like that as well.

"What was that about?" He asked. I looked into his eyes, and saw the confusion, and slight fear in his gaze. I sighed, going into the middle of the clearing and sitting down. Arthur was stunned for a second before he followed me and sat opposite me.

"I'm only going to say this once, and then you can look at it however you feel. Just... let me get it all out without any interruptions, and then you can ask any and all questions once I'm done. Do you understand?" I asked, being completely serious, which is not something that I do often. When Arthur nodded his head in agreement, I took a deep breath and went straight to the core of things.

"Where to begin, where to begin... I suppose I should just come out and say it. I'm a sorcerer. I've had magic since I was born. The entire time that I have been in Camelot, I have only tried to use my magic for good, and for the right reasons, though sometimes, I am met with disastrous effects. I have saved your life countless times, and I even helped Uther before he died. And while I am confessing to everything, I should let you know that the old man that you think is responsible for your father's death is me." I said, not entirely sure how I should have put it, and just letting it out. Arthur was looking at me startled at first, and a small but confused smile came across his face.

"You have to be joking. There is no way that you can have magic, especially because you know that I have banned it just as firmly as my father had before me. Is this your idea of a prank? Are you paying me back for putting you in the stocks those times?" Arthur asked, and I could tell that he was nearly in hysterics.

I sighed, knowing that the only way that I could get him to believe me was to show him what I meant. I summoned up my magic and let it take the form of a glowing blue ball of energy, and it hovered directly above his head. I could feel the swimming rush of energy in my eyes, and I knew that Arthur saw my eyes flash golden when he gasped.

After a few moments of nothing happening, I extinguished the light. I chanced a glance at Arthur's face, and I could see that he was looking at me with such a hurt expression that it tore my heart to shreds. I knew that I had no right to want to still be by his side, but I couldn't help myself. I sighed and drew my knees up to my chest, resting my forehead on top of them. I waited for Arthur to speak.

I could feel it when he stood up and went to the horses. I couldn't tell what he was doing, but he came back after a few moments. When I heard the sword being unsheathed, I knew what was going on. Surprisingly, I didn't feel afraid. I felt relieved. I never knew what a burden it was to keep my magic a secret. When Arthur spoke, it was a voice filled with so many emotions. Hurt, rage, sadness, denial, betrayal, and agony twisted through his words.

"Get up!" He ordered. I moved to comply and looked at him, holding his sword towards me, towards my heart. He had a good foot between the sword and me, but that quickly changed. I started walking directly towards him, stopping only when the tip of his sword was placed right against my breast. I looked in his eyes, and I could see a war raging in them. At last, he started asking me questions.

"You say that you have only ever used your magic for the good of Camelot. You say that, so why is my father dead? You have had magic this entire time, and you kept it from me, your 'friend'. I considered you my best friend and my most trusted adviser, when you were the one with the darkest secret." Arthur said, panting with the struggle of containing the emotions he was experiencing. I used the opportunity to speak.

"I am your friend, and my magic shouldn't change that. The reason that your father died is because someone planted an enchanted amulet on him that would make any spell worked on him reverse and do the opposite of what it was supposed to do and inflict the spell, or curse in this case, tenfold. I have only ever used my magic for the good of Camelot." I said, completely calm, even though I should be feeling either fear or sadness, or maybe even both.

"You liar!" Arthur said, and it was then that I realized that I had broken whatever relationship that we had. It was then that the floodgates opened and the anguish poured in.

"Would you rather me dead? Are you going to take me back to Camelot and have me burned at the stake?" I asked. Arthur looked at me in horror, so I took another step forward, gasping out loud at the sharp pain as Arthur's sword pierced my flesh. I got about half an inch in me before Arthur pulled the sword out. By this time, the tears were flooding down my face, and my heart was in pieces.

"Why would you do something like that? You could have killed yourself." Arthur said. I looked at his face and saw that he was confused. I had to look away because looking at him caused a fresh wave of piercing pain to run through me. I could feel the blood running down my chest, a painful reminder of what I had lost, what I had destroyed.

"Because I have ruined everything... You will never look at me the way that I look at you again. I love you, and I have ruined it all. I will leave you so that you may move on with your life. I promise that I will not step foot in Camelot again. It would be best if you just forgot about me." I said, running away, trying to escape the pain that was threatening to consume me.

Running away from everything that was me.

Author's Note: Well, for a first chapter, I don't think it turned out that bad. I haven't seen a plot quite like this one, so I had to take advantage of it. I hope that you liked it, and you can let me know if you have by clicking the review button and letting me know what you think.