A Wizard of Oz Parody
By: Half-wit Ed-boy
Chapter 1: Attack of the Munchkins! (Sort of)
Disclaimer: I don't own Ed, Edd n Eddy, Mar, The Wizard of Oz, or any of the random characters I've put in this fanfic. However, the original characters are mine.
It was an average Friday afternoon in Peach Creek. In Peach Creek Middle School, the final bell has rang and the kids scramble out the front door. The kids pile onto the bus and away they go.
"Finally, it's Friday, Double D!" Eddy screams with excitement. "That means scams, scams, and more scams!" Eddy is short and is wearing a yellow shirt with a vertical red stripe going down the side of it. He has a wallet chain hanging out of his pocket and has three long hairs on his head.
"And it also means that I get to watch cartoons tomorrow morning, Eddy!" Ed says excitedly. Ed is wearing a white and red-striped t-shirt and a green jacket over it. He has a unibrow and a buzz-cut haircut. He's the tallest.
"Well I have some extra credit homework to do. I gotta keep my grades up!" Double D says. His real name is Eddward, but his friends call him Double D to avoid confusion with Ed. He wears a beanie on his head with white stripes going down both sides of it and wears a red shirt. He is the medium sized Ed.
The bus comes to a stop at the cul-de-sac and the kids exit the bus. One kid has an unusually large chin and is wearing a red baseball cap and a green shirt. This is Kevin. A different kid gets off behind him. He has a large head and very short hair on the top of it. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and is carrying a 2x4 piece of wood in his hand with a face drawn on it. His name is Johnny and his board is Plank. Next to get off is Nazz, one of the girls almost every boy has a crush on. She has short blonde hair and is wearing a white shirt with black sleeves. Behind her are Sarah and Jimmy. Sarah is Ed's younger sibling and is wearing a pink sleeveless shirt and has red hair. Jimmy has a blue shirt on and has a retainer that goes around his head. Ginta is the next to get off. He's wearing a pair of glasses and has on a white, buttoned up shirt. He has spiky yellow hair. And the last people to get off before the Eds are Rolf and Ginta's girlfriend, Koyuki. Both have short, blue hair. Rolf is taller and is wearing a yellow shirt with a thick, red stripe wrapped around it. Koyuki is wearing a typical Japanese school outfit. The Eds finally jump off the bus. Everyone else goes home and leaves the three boys standing at the bus stop.
"Well, let's get started, boys!" Eddy says. "Here's the plan…."
But before Eddy could tell his friends the scam he came up with, he hears the sound of two voices. One of them shouts, "DOUBLE D!!!" The other shouts, "ED!!!" He looks off into the distance and sees two girls running their way.
"Carrie!" Ed shouts back, his arms open. Carrie is the same height as Ed. She has spiky, blonde hair that goes halfway down her back and is wearing a black t-shirt with "MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!" written on it and is wearing baggy jogging shorts.
"Oh, dear!" Double D says, bracing for what was to come. The other girl is Dorothy. She has pink hair braided into two long pigtails with two large purple beads in each pigtail and has a hat similar to Double D's on her head, only it doesn't have any stripes on it. She's wearing a black dress with a white neckpiece and has black armbands on her forearms that are attached to her middle fingers. Her fingers are covered in rings and her wrists are covered in bracelets. She's carrying a fancy-handled broom in her hands that has a red orb attached to the end of it and there's a small axe blade towards the center of it. Ed and Carrie give each other a hug and Dorothy tackles Double D. Eddy glares at the pink-haired witch angrily.
"Hey, you pink-haired freak, LEAVE DOUBLE D ALONE!!!!" Eddy yells. Dorothy releases Double D, grabs Eddy in a headlock, and gives him a noogie. Eddy screams with frustration and yells, "I hate noogies!" Dorothy puts the short Ed-boy down, turns around, and wraps her arms around the brainy Ed-boy.
"Dorothy…can't…breathe…!" Double D wheezes. Dorothy loosens her grip on him and Double D gasps for breath.
"Hey, Ed, let's go watch Space Leech V: Wibbles vs. the Zombie Brain Munchers from Planet Gaa!" Carrie says.
"I'd love to, but I got to help Eddy with his scam." Ed says, his face downcast. The same expression spreads across Carrie's face.
"Oh," Carrie says. Her face perks up. "Hey, what if I helped?" Ed's face lights up when he hears Carrie's idea.
Ed folds his hands together, gets on his knees and begs. "Please, Lord Vader, can Carrie join us for the day? I promise I'll feed her!"
"Okay, Carrie can help out with our scam, if she gives me a kiss!" Eddy says. Dorothy slaps him in the face. Eddy falls over backwards and has a red handprint on his face.
"Don't you speak about my best friend like that, you frog-faced jerk!" Dorothy growls. Eddy sits up and rubs the side of his face.
Minutes later, the scam is set up. This time, Eddy is selling some of the junk he found under Ed's bed. Carrie and Ed are putting some finishing touches on the sign and Double D is cleaning the gunk off everything. Eddy is just standing there, being Eddy.
"I wonder what happened to Edward and Fred Fredburger." Eddy says. Across town, both Edward is walking down the sidewalk. Edward is a dog who's wearing a Santa hat and large glasses. He's also wearing blue jeans that are held up by suspenders. Fred Fredburger is following him, singing, "La, la, la, la!" in a horrible voice. He's about the same size as Edward and is a green, elephant thing. Edward isn't enjoying the green, elephant-like creature's company.
Back at the cul-de-sac, the sign is finished. On it is painted chibi versions of the Eds and Carrie and the words, "ED'S ANTICK SHOP". Double D has finished cleaning the merchandise and Eddy places the final touch to his shop: a jar sitting off to the side for collecting the dough. Eddy looks at the sign.
"Looks good to me!" Eddy says. Double D examines the sign carefully.
"They spelled 'antique' wrong, Eddy!" Double D says, unimpressed by Ed and Carrie's job. He sees the drawings all around it and smiles. "But, I have to say, it is very creative."
Some of the kids gather around to look at the collection of broken action figures and wheel-less cars. Just then, it starts to cloud up and it gets windy. Ed and Carrie then randomly run across the cul-de-sac flying a kite. The sound of thunder fills the air and lightning lights up the sky. The sky turns pitch black and Kevin quickly turns on his radio. After playing some sort of rap music for a few seconds, a voice comes on.
"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an important weather bulletin." The voice says. "A tornado warning has been issued for the Peach Creek area. Please note that this is a Doppler radar indicated warning. Please seek shelter immediately!" Kevin turns his radio off and Eddy looks up at the sky and sees the clouds spinning.
"Hey, look, Double D." Eddy says, pointing at the sky. "It's a new kind of cloud!" Double D stands there looking up at the sky, speechless. Dorothy walks over to where Double D is standing.
"What's wrong with Double D?" Dorothy asks Eddy.
"He's just jealous that I discovered a new kind of cloud and he didn't." Eddy replies.
"T-t-t-tornado!!!!!" Double D screams at the top of his lungs. Another character runs out of her house. She's wearing a lab coat and a red bandanna on her head. Her hair is long on the sides and cut short in the back. She has a pair of safety goggles in her hand. This character is May.
"Don't just sit there like a bunch of ignorant baboons!" May yells. "Take cover!"
"Let's sing a song!" Ed yells. The tornado touches down and races towards the cul-de-sac, uprooting trees and demolishing buildings. Dorothy and the Eds run into Double D's house and race up to his bedroom.
"Wait! We need to hide in the basement!" Double D yells after them, but they are unable to hear him for the howling winds and the loud crashing of thunder. Suddenly, the house is lifted up off the ground and the windows shatter.
"Oh, no, we forgot Carrie!" Ed says, realizing that she didn't follow them.
They look out the window at the howling, swirling winds. Kevin is on his bike riding backwards yelling, "Not cool, man!" A mailbox hits him in the face. Next, Rolf's farm animals fly by the window. Rolf follows, hanging onto the side of his cow. "Rolf needs a bandage!" He shouts. Next, the Kankers' trailer flies past the window. Inside, the Kanker sisters are sitting on the couch, acting like nothing's happening.
"Hey, Lee, tell those stupid neighbors of ours to keep it down!" Marie says.
"Go tell them yourself," Lee answers. The trailer passes by the window.
"We gotta find Carrie!" Ed says, running around Double D's bedroom with his hands on his face. The house is suddenly sent flying through the air and lands on solid ground with a thud. Everyone is standing in different defensive positions with their eyes closed ready to block all debris that came their way with their arms.
"Well, that was a rip-off!" Eddy shouts angrily.
"Do it again!" Ed yells. Unexpectedly, the floor caves in and the four fall into Double D's living room and are knocked out cold. Minutes later, Dorothy wakes up. She stands up and looks around. There's nothing but splinters of wood and glass. The witch looks around for Double D and Ed, but is unable to find them. She runs outside to see that the house had landed in a small town. Someone's legs are sticking out from under the house wearing a pair of blue-jeans and army boots. All the cul-de-sac kids except for Kevin and Nazz then come out of some thick bushes wearing nametags that have MUNCHKIN written on them.
"The witch Dorothy has slain the evil witch!" Rolf says. "A celebration I say!"
"Right on!" Johnny shouts.
"Whoa. Where are we, Double D, and why am I wearing this stupid nametag?" Eddy asks Double D.
"There's a sign right behind you that says 'Munchkinville', Eddy." Double D informs his friend.
"I am a Munchkin!" Ed yells. He laughs hysterically.
"Wait, who was it I killed?" Dorothy asks.
"Jon Arbuckle." Johnny answers.
"He tortured us every day with his cartoons about farm animals that could talk without moving their mouths!" Jimmy explains.
"Now, witch Dorothy, take off his boots." Rolf commands the witch.
"And why the heck would I do that?" Dorothy asks, not too happy about Rolf's command.
"We don't know!" Sarah says angrily. "It's in the script so do it!" Dorothy takes off Jon's shoes and then some paramedics pop up out of nowhere, throw Jon on a stretcher, and run off.
"Oh, boy, this is the part where we sing!" Ed says. He starts singing. "Oh!!!!!!!! Eddy's mom is a…."
"Hold it! Hold it! First of all, if you finish that song, Ed, I'll tear your eyebrow off!" Eddy threatens. "And second of all, I know where this fanfic is going, so you guys are on your own! I think I'll wait for the movie!"
"Rolf suggests that you hold your tongue, loud mouthed Ed-boy, or the writer will punish you!" Rolf warns.
"I'm not afraid of any…" A random lightning bolt falls from the sky and hits Eddy, electrocuting him. "Ouch! Okay! I'll go along with the story!"
"That's better!" A voice says.
"Who the heck are you?" Sarah shouts.
"I'm the writer, Half-wit Ed-boy." The voice explains. "I'm the one in charge of the story, and if any of you try and defy the story, you'll wind up like shorty over there!"
Suddenly, a puff of smoke explodes in the middle of the town and a figure appears. He is fat and red all over and is wearing a fairytale witch's outfit. He's not wearing pants.
"Well, hellooooo! It's the wicked witch, BOB PANTSOFFSKI!!!!!!!" He yells. "Who's the little brat that squashed my brother with this house?" He buttwalks around the town.
"She did it!" Eddy yells, pointing at Dorothy. Bob buttwalks up to the pink-haired witch.
"So, it was you, ya pink-haired freak!" Bob yells. Eddy laughs.
"Who are you calling a freak?" The witch asks angrily. "I'm not the one running around half naked!"
"Oh." Bob says. "Well anywho, give me those boots!"
"Why do you want them?" Dorothy asks him.
"Because I need a new pair!" Bob yells. "It's so hard to find a good pair of boots around here."
"Don't give them to him!" Johnny shouts. "He'll do something evil with them!"
Dorothy shoves the boots in Ed's coat pocket. "You're not getting these boots!"
"I'll get those boots sooner or later, and those stupid Eds, too!" Ben shouts angrily. In another puff of smoke he vanishes. Nazz then pops up out of nowhere.
"Hello, dudes and dudets!" Nazz says. "I'm, like, the good witch!"
"Could someone please tell me what's going on here!?" Double D shouts.
"Okay, here's the thing. Dorothy and the Eds have to go see the Wizard of Oz so everything can go back to normal." Nazz explains.
"Wiz, wiz! Time to wazz!" Ed sings.
"But, where is this, 'wizard'?" Dorothy asks Nazz.
"Just follow this golden path!" Nazz answers her.
"You mean yellow brick road." Double D corrects her.
"That's one of my favorite flavors of ice-cream!" Ed says.
"I'm not going to do it!" Dorothy says defiantly, folding her arms across her chest.
"DO IT, OR ELSE I'LL DO TO YOU WHAT I DID TO EDDY!!!!!!!!" A voice says.
"Okay, okay! You don't have to get mad. I'll go!" Dorothy says. "At least I'll get to spend some time with Double D!" Dorothy puts her arm around the sock-hatted Ed-boy and he starts sweating.
"Let's just go before someone sees this stupid nametag on me!" Eddy shouts, trying to pull the munchkin nametag off of his shirt.
And so, the four begin their journey down the yellow brick road. What dangers will they face? Will that pantsless red witch ever wear pants? Will they get to the wizard? What other random cartoon characters will I include in this fanfic? Find out in the next chapter, The Scarecrow, Tin-Girl, and Elderly Lion!