Learning Curve
Dear lord, he hated that spider monkey.
Granted, there wasn't much that Edward couldn't find disdain for. It certainly didn't help that he was at what he considered to be one of the most run down and useless places on the planet, and it was certainly easy to find targets to hate at Camp Kidney…but the platypus held a special brand of dislike that existed just to be directed at Lazlo. It was an intense dislike, a kind of dislike that couldn't just be classified as hatred—no, that simply wasn't strong enough to describe just how much he disliked the other camper.
That perky attitude. That naïve optimism. That constant need to make every single person around him happy, even if they had absolutely no desire to BE happy. His ability to attract people to his person and gain praise with absolutely no effort. Oh yes, seeing the boy surrounded by other people just sent rushes of anger straight through Edward's body. Which could either lead to some ill-conceived plan to destroy and/or get rid of Lazlo, or simply sulking in a corner for a few hours. It really did depend on the day.
Today, it was sulking. He simply sat alongside the group of campers as they concocted some crazy idea involving the lake. Edward couldn't really be assed to listen in too intently…he kept telling himself, anyways. He had to begrudgingly admit one unfortunate truth: the language was continually distracting him.
"El lago se ve muy bien hoy!" Edward cringed slightly. Lately Lazlo had been slowly teaching languages to his idiot cabin mates, focusing primarily on Spanish. Apparently at some point he had moved on to simply keeping it in the cabin, and decided to test them on the language by speaking it in casual conversation. By the dumbfounded looks on both Raj and Clam's faces, it was pretty apparent that they were not the most proficient learners—not that Edward really expected better from a complete clod and a boy who could barely speak his OWN language. It almost—ALMOST—made him snicker that Lazlo's efforts seemed to be in vain.
"Ehhh….could you maybe repeat?" Raj asked slowly. Lazlo shrugged and did as asked. "Ah…I think I get it. Yes, it is nice, yes."
"Yes!" Clam repeated. Edward rolled his eyes and shifted off of the railing that he had been leaning on; the sudden movement seemed to catch the attention of the spider monkey. Immediately the broad, happy grin and enthusiastic eyes focused immediately in on the platypus and Edward cringed. He knew what was coming next.
"Edward! Hey Edward! Were you listening?" The older boy yelled, happily prancing over to him. Raj and Clam chose to hold their grounds at a fair distance from Edward—they knew their places, or at the very least knew to stay away from the platypus when he was obviously in a bad mood. "Do you speak Spanish, Edward?"
"What? No, Lazlo, I do not speak Spanish." Edward snapped irately. He really wasn't in the mood for chatting with this idiot—only in the mood for watching him and brooding to himself over it.
"That's too bad! Languages are a lot of fun. They expand your connection with the world, y'know?" Lazlo chirped as he spread his arms out wide. Edward resisted the urge to roll his eyes—how could someone possibly survive in this world with such a positive outlook? It was unfathomable. "I know a lot of languages. English, Spanish, Portuguese, Korean, Japanese, Swedish—"
"Oh, no one cares, Lazlo!" Edward interrupted, shoving the boy in the chest. It didn't impact the other boy much, what with Lazlo being both older and taller than him. "You're such a showoff."
"Showoff?"
"Idiot! It's someone who shows themselves off. Themselves and what they can do. It's RUDE, you know." Edward spat defiantly.
"…Well." Lazlo said after a moment's contemplation. "I can't show something off if everyone has it, right? I mean, if everyone has the thing then there's no point in being a showoff, right?"
"….I guess." Edward sniffed.
"So I'll teach you Spanish too!" Lazlo said, excitement pouring into his features as he grabbed the platypus' hands. Behind him, Raj and Clam's expressions both shifted to that of annoyance. "Then I won't be a 'show off' or whatever, AND you'll know one of my languages—"
Edward promptly yanked his hands free of the monkey's with bitter fury in his eyes.
"….The only Spanish I want to know, Lazlo…" Edward began slowly. "Is how to say that I hate you."
The area was overcome with a heavy silence as both boys stared at each other. Aggression and anger radiated from Edward's entire being, as if challenging Lazlo to move from the place that he had been pushed to. The monkey, on the other hand, looked at him with an almost questioning expression. Behind him, Raj and Clam's expressions of annoyance shifted to ones of worry. Then, to Edward's utter irritation, the questioning expression shifted to a weak smile. And as weak as it was, it still annoyed the platypus. This stupid boy could find the good in almost everything and Edward was most certain that said 'good' was about to be shoved onto him. He looked frantically away as if to find an escape.
"Te amo, Lazlo."
Edward's eyes immediately landed back on the monkey. "What?"
"Te amo, Lazlo. You asked, right?"
"Uh, well…" The younger boy was certainly shocked—he hadn't expected Lazlo to actually TELL him. Then again, it was more often than not that Lazlo surprised him. "…Yeah. Yeah, I did! And I'm gonna make sure you KNOW, too! Te amo, Lazlo! Te amo!"
Lazlo's grin grew wider, and behind him, Edward could see Raj and Clam breaking into giggles as well. Edward snorted and turned on his heels to walk off and leave the idiots to gossip among themselves—as far as he was concerned, HE had won, and if they couldn't bother to acknowledge it than that was there problem. Even if it did bother him a bit.
…or a lot.
It didn't matter.
"Te amo, Lazlo!"
"Te amo también!"
It became a constant in the camp after that. Edward yelled his newly learned Spanish phrase at Lazlo, only to receive a similar yet different phrase in return. Amongst some of the other campers it seemed to be some sort of joke, while others just seemed to shrug it off as just another day in Camp Kidney. While the former irritated Edward a bit, he was a tad bit more satisfied to finally have a specific and NEW way to define exactly how he so disliked Lazlo. Te amo, Lazlo. Yes, Edward decided, that was the ideal way to define exactly how he felt about the monkey.
"Te amo, Lazlo!"
"Te amo también!"
It started to grow slowly more suspicious, though. There were too many campers who chortled like stupid hens when he said it, the same campers who practically went into hysterics with Lazlo's response. As if Edward's declaration of hatred was some sort of absolutely hilarious joke. The older boy didn't seem to find anything too funny about it, just providing his typical response and beaming bright smile in return. As if Edward's words made him happier somehow.
And that was when Edward realized it. It was exactly when it hit him.
Why would Lazlo be happy about someone telling him they hated him?
The boy practically wallowed in positivity and the ideals of friendship. When someone told him that they disliked or even hated him, he pursued their approval to be a true friend. He tried to make them happy. He tried to interfere with their lives and find out exactly what it was that drove a gap between himself and the other creature. So for him to simply ACCEPT hatred, even teach someone how to fully exert his or her hatred, was too suspicious.
"What does it mean?!"
Lazlo looked up in confusion, disregarding his little project on the side of Leaky Lake—from the look of it, he had been taking sticks and cobbling them into what looked like some structurally unsound and completely unidentifiable building. Edward stood over both the crouching monkey and his little creation, a disgruntled expression painted over his features. Thin arms were crossed.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean!" Edward snapped. His foot tapped impatiently. "What does that thing you taught me ACTUALLY mean? That stupid thing you tricked me into saying all the time!"
"Oh." Lazlo chuckled, rising from the ground to dust the dirt off of his black pants. "The 'te amo' thing, right? That?"
"Yes, Lazlo. The 'te amo' thing." Edward replied crossly. "You told me it meant I hated you but you were lying, weren't you? It doesn't mean that at all. I've been saying something entirely different, haven't I."
"Yep." Lazlo admitted freely; Edward was almost thrown off by the clear and unabashed honesty but quickly shook it off.
"So what DOES it mean, huh?"
"It means 'I love you, Lazlo'." The monkey said cheekily. The platypus was silent for a moment, arms drooping to his sides as he stared blankly at the older boy. Lazlo leaned in questioningly to look more carefully at the platypus; with that mere motion, Edward exploded and pushed him backwards.
"THAT'S what I've been saying?!" Edward shrieked, his face as red as a ripe tomato. "I've been running around saying I LOVE you?! Are you SERIOUS?! No wonder everyone was laughing at me! They thought…I…you…they thought that I LOVE YOU!"
"Well, I—"
"NO! No! I…why?! Why on EARTH would you DO THAT?!"
"Porque te amo?" Lazlo offered.
"I don't even know what you said, you absolute lunatic!" Edward yelled, the red on his face darkening considerably. His hands had curled into neat fists.
"Porque te amo. 'Because I love you'." Lazlo translated, jumping to his feet to stand in front of the platypus. The younger boy stared at him with eyes full of confusion, anger, embarrassment…the whole gambit of extreme emotions were passing across his reddened face. His entire body seemed to be frozen aside from his nervously shaking fists—taking the moment at hand, Lazlo moved forward right into Edward's personal space. The platypus flinched visibly.
"What do you think yo—" Edward began, but he stopped short when the older boy placed a firm kiss on his forehead. The small shaking fists fell slack as his thin legs seemed to turn to jelly, his mouth hanging open in confusion.
"Te amo, Edward. Me amas también?" Lazlo asked, a bright and welcoming smile spreading across his face. Red fingers slipped under white ones, lifting the hands upwards to grasp them tightly. Edward wasn't even sure what in the world the monkey was really saying at this point, but he also was quite sure that he didn't need a translator to figure out the question.
And he hated the answer.
God, he hated the answer. Such a problem causing, embarrassing, stupid answer that had caused so much covered up chortling directed at him for the past few weeks. Edward looked downwards, only to be greeted by their linked hands. He grimaced and directed his attention to a tree nearby—Lazlo was still smiling widely and waiting for the answer that he taught to the younger boy.
"Te amo, Lazlo. You absolute idiot."