Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or associated concepts/characters. The writing is mine, as are unrecognizable characters.
A/N: This is practice developing characters, and less action driven than much of my writing. It probably needs more editing. Which it might get. Feedback appreciated.
Note: The line breaks between sections can cover anywhere from a few minutes to several weeks of elapsed time.
Premise: When the cave comes tumbling down, Obito is just a bit slower. They all survive, and four years later, this is who they have become.
"It's my responsibility."
"Seriously, Kakashi, would you rather comfort your damned pride or the woman who's gonna find out her son's dead?"
Kakashi scuffed a sandal along the road with a harsh grunt. Though he hated to admit it, Obito did occasionally have fits of logic. "Fine. You do the talking."
"And you're not going to pop up and contradict me, yeah?" Obito demanded, reaching across his body with his left hand to shove Kakashi's shoulder.
"No." Kakashi leaned away, eyeing Obito warily. "I'll keep my mouth shut."
The black-haired man nodded sharply. "Good. You'd only stick your foot in it." He stopped and turned, to look Kakashi in the eye. His face was exhausted, mouth turned down in an unaccustomed frown. "Do I look okay?"
Kakashi reached out and very carefully straightened the collar of Obito's black haori. "Stop moving," he ordered, pulling the front further over where Obito's right arm was strapped to his chest, the sleeve flopping emptily. "Where'd you find this get-up, anyway?"
Obito shrugged, making Kakashi hiss in annoyance as the oversized garment slipped again. "My dad's. I thought, when we got back, you remember on the first day out how he said his family was all traditional about stuff, I thought hey, maybe she'd appreciate it if I, you know, made an effort." He waved his hand around as he talked, as if he could pull coherence from the air.
Kakashi twitched the fabric once more and backed off, his eye half-lidded and tired. "I don't think it'll matter."
Obito sighed, and started walking again. Kakashi followed. He, too, was dressed all in black, but it was little more than a clean pair of uniform pants and an untorn training shirt. He had a funeral uniform, folded on the top shelf of his closet, but Shiba wasn't tall enough to reach that, and so had brought Kakashi back whatever he had found in the lowest drawer.
In truth, Kakashi could have gone home and gotten it himself. But he hadn't wanted to leave the hospital, not with Rin so insistent that he let the seals set before possibly smearing three hours of chakra surgery, and Obito so insistent that he do whatever Rin told him to. He'd slipped away from her frustratingly concerned gazes and soft touches, though, hiding out on the roof while he waited for the ink to seep through his skin and sink its tendrils into his muscles and coils. Forbidden from using chakra for five days, he'd sent Shiba, the only dog still on this plane, to go fetch him something other than his bloodied armor in which to tell Hirohito's mother that her son was dead.
Kakashi thought for a minute, because Obito's shoulders were tight and hunched and he was walking a bit too fast. "It's a nice thought," he added, quietly. Maybe that was the right thing to say.
Obito gave a little laugh, and slowed enough for Kakashi to catch up and fall into lockstep. "No, you're right. I just, I wanted to do something for him, you know? Besides burning him up and making his mom cry."
Kakashi had nothing to say to that. He wanted to get this over with. Wanted to go home and brush the tangles out of Shiba's fur until he could calm the roiling in his stomach, sleep until the pounding in his head and the itching on his back faded away. He wanted someone else to give the dead man's tags and headband to this unsuspecting woman. But he was already letting Obito take over the burden of what to say. He had to at least be there.
"Here," he said. They stopped, looking to the right. This little house, painted a light blue, squashed between a larger, green-paneled house and a looming four-story concrete building. Obito sucked in a tight breath.
"Don't say shit," he said suddenly, and shouldered past Kakashi to head up the path to the door.
Kakashi followed, letting that little colloquialism distract him from the fact that Obito was ringing to doorbell, and that Hirohito's mother had the exact same startling purple eyes, and that Obito was bowing low - he immediately followed suit, head parallel with the ground and eye lowered. He meant 'don't say anything,' but it was probably a good idea not to swear, either. Kakashi straightened up when Obito did, feeling the motion beside him without seeing it.
And then he had to look at the woman standing ramrod straight, tears pouring down her cheeks. She clenched the battered headband in an impossibly tight grip, a single dogtag clanking against the charms of twisted ceramic and metal that hung on a broken chain as her hands shook.
Suddenly all Kakashi could see were wide purple eyes dripping conjured water while blood spurted from a gaping mouth and washed away in diluted streams. Half his body just gone. Lifting a knife to his throat and ending it quickly, because the man was going to linger if he didn't and they had to get moving. Chakra-blue flames eating through what was left of flesh and bone and staring purple eyes.
He stood utterly still while Obito told her what she needed to hear, what she was allowed to hear, and bowed again as Obito did before she closed the door on them and they could hear her start to sob. "Let's go," Obito muttered.
Kakashi fell in step behind Obito again. He couldn't remember just when he'd picked up this habit, but whenever not on missions he found himself walking a half pace behind the other man. Obito had accused him of being a paranoid bastard who couldn't let anyone in his blind spot. Which was true. But Kakashi didn't think it was entirely that; not that he could articulate just what it was.
They walked in silence. It wasn't the first time; it wouldn't be the last. A little voice whispered in the back of Kakashi's head that he was glad it was Hirohito, not Obito whom he had burned into a smear of ash yesterday.
"You gonna be okay tonight?" Obito asked abruptly.
Kakashi shot him a sidelong glance. "I am always."
"You're limping bad today."
Kakashi scoffed at that, a sharp little expression of annoyance. "Ran sixty miles yesterday, if you haven't forgotten, with no chakra." Obito had that damned guilty expression on again, the one he couldn't seem to hide whenever Kakashi's leg came up. "It'll be fine. You better stop banging your head around though," he gestured at the white bandage mostly hidden under Obito's forehead protector and bangs. "Or you'll end up too stupid for even Rin to fix." It was a lame attempt at an old needle, but Obito laughed.
"Keep talkin', gimp."
The silence was a bit softer, then, and Kakashi felt himself relaxing under his mask. He was exahusted, he hurt, and their purple eyed comrade was never going to get buried, but Obito was here, insulting him, and soon everything would be okay again.
He peeled away from Obito with a lifted hand and no goodbye. His apartment was a few turns away, but he took it slow, breathing in the afternoon breeze sweet with the smell of spring leaves. Rin would be getting off shift in a few hours, and he didn't intend to get in the way of Obito's alone time with her.
The stairs made him grit his teeth and offer a colorful series of threats in his head to whomever had invented them. The door posed its own problem, as his defensive seals were still firmly in place and the new patterns on his back made it impossible for him to disable them. He settled for slumping against the door and banging plaintively until he heard the scrabble of Shiba's claws and the flare of canine chakra.
He turned the knob and stumbled inwards, Shiba rumbling softly and padding circles around his feet once he got inside. "Hey," Kakashi muttered. Shiba barked quietly and nudged him towards the couch. He sat down with a sigh and stripped off his sandals, letting them fall in a heap before tucking his bare feet up under his body. His forehead protector followed, Kakashi scraping a heavy hand over his closed eyelid. Then Shiba jumped up beside him and Kakashi buried his face in the coarse grey fur. "Now what?"
A wet nose nudged under his chin. Shiba whined. "I suppose so." Shiba was hungry, and he certainly owed the dog some thanks. For the help today; for the fighting and the running of the past three. For staying when all the rest had returned home.
They ate canned soup poured over rice, sitting on the floor together in front of Kakashi's black and white tv. He petted Shiba's head and back, letting the sense of being home leach some of the tension from his body. Shiba licked both bowls clean and they left them on the floor to fall asleep curled against the couch.
Kakashi woke to morning sun, dog drool on his face, and his back itching like a thousand insect bites had been smeared with poison ivy. And there was someone knocking insistently on his door. All in all, it fell on the bad side of the morning scale. He growled as he unfolded, stiff limbs protesting and strained joints tight and unyielding. Shiba grunted and moved from a wide sprawl to curl into a tight ball, nose to tail, but didn't bother to open his eyes. Kakashi muttered a few jealous epithets at the dog, rubbing a hand over his face and stumbling to the entrance. He checked his mask automatically before putting a palm to the door to disable his locking seals.
"Shit. Shiba!"
The knocking ceased at his shout, as whoever it was waited patiently for Kakashi to open up. Finally, the door creaked open and the two grey-haired nin, human and dog, stared in frank disappointment at their visitor. "What do you want?"
The ANBU held out a scroll. "Hatake-san, the Director requests your-"
Kakashi folded his arms and gave a narrow-eyed glare at the shadowed holes in the porcelain mask. "Can't you leave me the fuck alone?"
The ANBU kept his hand extended, the slim scroll balanced in his open palm. "We believe you would be a strong asset to the corps, Hatake-san."
"And I have told the corps four times now. I do not wish to." At his feet, Shiba growled agreement.
The ANBU was reluctant, if the set of his shoulders and the heaviness to his words was anything to go by. "You are a full jounin, Hatake-san. A talented ninja; a genius, it has been said. You could do much in ANBU; more than you are given to accomplish by running back up for a tokubetsu-jounin on standard missions."
Coldness settled in Kakashi's chest, the forced certainty born of long hours of lonely debate and self-doubt. He blinked once, and opened both eyelids to stare straight into the ANBU's hidden eyes. He didn't know if the ninja was meeting his gaze behind that mask, or looking away, as so many did when he forgot to keep the scarred side closed. "I repeat myself again. Fuck off."
He took a quick step back and slammed the door.
They'd said many things to him, to entice him into black ops. Many more insidious arguments had come from his own head, in the dark of the night when he hated with an intensity that shook him in the daylight. I could be more than this. We don't care if you're damaged. I could have been so much more, if- You've learned to work around the disabilities. Isn't it time to stop letting him cripple you even now? I could be legendary. I want to be free, stop thinking, stop caring, just move.
He'd run missions like the ones that black ops got. It was what brought him to their attention in the first place. The six months after the Fox, after Minato died and left his team behind, the village had been in chaos. Emergency protocols slapped down and created military order, but missions were handed out slap-dash. No matter the ninja was a fifteen year-old, one-eyed gimp; he was still a jounin.
And in the shock of loss, with Obito weeping and Rin clinging, Kakashi realized just how good it felt to leave them behind. To disappear for a month and think of nothing but the mission; to see no one but targets and collateral; to burn away grief with adrenaline and acid and fear.
Kakashi waited long enough to be sure the ANBU had left. His chakra-sensing was essentially gone, with the array on his back clamping down on everything. But ANBU had better things to do than waste time hanging around his apartment. After five minutes, he strapped his kunai holster on and settled his headband over his empty socket. "C'mon, Shiba."
He walked the first half mile, then settled into a loping jog once his muscles loosened up. Shiba yipped a complaint at his heels, but kept up nevertheless. He stayed off the roofs, unwilling to trust his tired body without chakra to buffer a mistake. It put him on edge, not being able to reach for the extra power, the extra speed, the ability to twist out of presence. And he really wanted to scratch. He took the footpath below the wall, through the cleared buffer zone. After he signed out of the eastern gate, he started to run for real.
Miles later, a sharp bark snapped him out of it, and he focused on his packmate. Shiba's eyes were wide, his tongue hanging out as he panted harshly. "Fuck." He crouched down in the forest loam, his hands cupping Shiba's head. "I'm sorry, oh fuck. I wasn't thinking."
Shiba whined quietly. Kakashi reached for his canteen, realized he left it at home, folded his hands for a water jutsu, and swore again.
They found a stream quickly, once Kakashi started paying attention to where he was going and not just running blindly. He dangled his feet in the cool water and sank back into his thoughts. "Maybe I should say yes."
Shiba looked up, water dripping from his muzzle. He growled.
"It's true, what they say. And it's not like Obito needs me."
Shiba snorted.
"I like it." He hadn't said that aloud before, and Shiba's slitted eyes suddenly look sad. "And it'd get me out of Rin and Obito's way."
A low rumble came from Shiba's chest. But Kakashi already knew what his pack thought of this decision (all except Jin, but Pakkun and Shiba had made it very clear to Kakashi that they would bite him if he started listening to Jin). He looked away from Shiba, unwilling to get in a staring match that would end with him needing to assert alpha dominance again, when all he wanted to do was hit something until he remembered how to cry.
It had been nearly eight months since he'd last lost someone on a mission. This whole mission had been a fuck-up. They shouldn't have ever taken Hirohito with them.
He hadn't liked the man from the start. Hirohito had been skittish around him, staring at Kakashi's covered face with blatant curiosity, and more than a little disgust when his eyes hit the metal plate slanted over the left side. There were stories about Kakashi, he knew. Whispers that followed him around the way they'd followed his father. He tried to ignore them, to trample on the voices that surfaced in the dark of night.
No matter how he had treated Kakashi, though, Hirohito had been a teammate, been a comrade. Been a red smear on the dirt when Kakashi hadn't moved quite fast enough, and then a black smear moments later. Been a flicker of guilt and accusation in Obito's eyes when the knife opened his throat wide.
It would be so damn much easier not to have to try anymore.
Despite daily appointments with the medics to flush his chakra and update the seals, Kakashi managed to avoid Rin until the next week, when she found him in one of the observation rooms after Takahashi-sensei finally lifted the array. Kakashi was working through the simple focusing exercises the doctor had demanded, enjoying the feel of white hot energy sparking to his call. A leaf floated above his finger when Rin slid the door open, twisting gently to the paths of Kakashi's thoughts.
"Hey, Kakashi."
He hummed a little, grey eye flicking up briefly before dropping back to his leaf.
"Everything go smoothly?"
He nodded, and began burning the blade of the leaf away, leaving only the fragile tracery of veins.
The attack had taken him from the side, foreign chakra burning into his pathways as it settled beneath his skin. He'd decapitated the caster in the next second; the jutsu stymied before it could fully deploy. The effects had lingered, though; the contamination spreading as his chakra cycled through his body. He'd stopped pulling on it the moment he realized, and killed the rest of them with just his blades and wires.
They were running by that point, Hirohito miles behind them. Nevertheless, Kakashi had lost feeling in his left arm by the time they reached Konoha. The medics shut down his chakra system as soon as they got their hands on him.
Rin sat down on the bed next to him, carefully choosing his right side. "Obito's off rotation for another week, while he does PT on his elbow."
Kakashi hummed again, patting soot off his hands. He curled his fingers as if they held a wide sphere between them. Passing a spark from fingertip to fingertip gave him another excuse not to look at Rin.
"I've got Thursday off," she continued, "so I thought maybe we could all go out together. Maybe go to a park, get lunch. Like the old days."
A sharp pop was followed by a strangled "fuck" from Kakashi. He and Rin both blinked the white spots from their eyes. "I've got a mission," Kakashi said, as pins and needles stabbed through his fingers. "Sorry."
He slid a sideways glance at Rin, whose face fell into a dejected expression even as she reached for his hands, green light glowing around her fingertips. "You don't need to," he tried to interrupt, but her chakra was already washing away the sting.
"It's okay," she murmured, and Kakashi didn't know if she meant the healing or the hanging out.
He wasn't sure what 'old days' she meant. Before that mission, when everything had changed for them, they'd never been much for socialization. Not with Obito pursuing Rin like a puppy while she mooned after Kakashi and he looked down on them both. Afterwards, in the first year, they'd pulled together in a way Kakashi had never experienced before. They'd trained harder than ever, even if for the first three months that had meant doing static chakra exercises in Kakashi's hospital room. They'd started to watch each others' backs, even off mission. The first time Rin had started a fight on Kakashi's behalf had shocked him speechless.
In the tenth month, Kakashi had been declared mission-fit. He'd requested partnerships with Obito, and the habit had begun to form. Hit-and-run over the border? Send Uchiha and Hatake. Eight week merchant escort? Send Uchiha and Hatake. Strike squads from Iwa terrorizing remote village? Send Uchiha and Hatake, and please try not to make Insert-Third-Member's-Name-Here feel too left out. Or get him killed. Kakashi flinched a bit at the memory of purple eyes.
Throughout it all, Rin had been there when they got home, patching them back together. But as far as Kakashi could remember, there had been no idyllic "old days," spent in the sun in relaxation and camaraderie. There had been a few attempts, certainly, team meals where they pretended to be friends, but they hadn't amounted to much.
He didn't want to start now.
Takahashi-sensei came back ten minutes later and cut off Rin's monologue of Konoha trivialities with a brusque wave. Rin stood up. "I'll see you later, Kakashi. Be safe on your mission."
Takahashi gave the figure hunched on the bed a sharp look after the door slid closed. "You haven't been cleared for missions yet, Hatake. I haven't cleared you yet."
Kakashi shrugged.
Takahashi rolled his eyes. "Well, let's get this over with, then."
Fifteen minutes later, Kakashi was declared mission-fit, and was roof-running towards the administrative buildings. He might not have a mission yet, but he would soon.
The 'outstanding' board in the lounge was picked over pretty well by the time he got there. It was early afternoon, and most of the choice requests had gone in the morning assignments. He skimmed the summaries quickly. They were carefully vague, usually only a few characters long, but all shinobi got good at filling in the blanks.
There was a "B:2WK:2P:assess and retrieve," which was probably thievery for some border lord, or maybe an affair-turned-runaway-wife. Something where the client wasn't entirely sure he was in the right. Not terribly dangerous, if only two people were going and it was still a B-rank. There was an "A:1WK:4P:rabbit hunting." That would be a straight-up elimination mission; a nest of bandits not expected to have any shinobi training. In a non-sensitive area, as well, or else it would have been assigned as soon as it came in. Kakashi would have liked that one, if not for the three teammates he'd have to deal with. There were already two serial numbers scribbled down in the blanks next to that one.
"A:1WK:2P: " looked promising. The blank ones were generally interesting, and there was no one else listed. He pulled the paper down and sauntered towards the office.
It turned out to be a frame job for arson. He listened to the brief from the chuunin behind the desk, and nodded assent. "It's been up for two days," he pointed out casually. "Think I can just head out now?"
The man scanned down the mission scroll. "It's a two-man op. You gotta wait for a partner."
Kakashi gave a squint-eyed smile. "Maa, it doesn't sound so bad. May as well not waste two ninja on something one can do just as well."
The chuunin gave him a dubious look. "That's not my decision. Yura!" At his bellow, a frazzled looking genin popped in from the hallway, a stack of papers two feet high clutched in his arms.
"Sir?"
The chuunin waved the summary slip at the kid. "Take this to Takama and see if we can send off one guy instead of two. Stop by the lounge first, though, and give a shout out. See if you can find a second."
Inwardly, Kakashi sighed at the delay. As the genin wobbled out under his load, he leaned up against the wall to wait. With any luck, no one would bite. Any ninja loitering in the lounge at this hour was probably waiting for a very specific assignment to come through, or had no intention of working today. It was only recently that choice in assignments had returned, anyway; with the shortage of manpower after the Fox, missions had been assigned to maximize throughput, often two at a time.
He tried to nap in the stuffy warmth, still feeling sluggish from the chakra therapy. There was an intermittent flow of people that kept him from really falling asleep, the noise less of an issue than the prickly feeling of not being alone, but eventually he tuned out enough to doze.
A loud bark of "Hatake!" jerked him back. Another shinobi was standing in front of the chuunin's wide desk, turning at the man's shout. The chuunin gestured brusquely.
Kakashi sauntered over, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Yo."
The new shinobi slapped the chuunin's desk. "Seriously? What the fuck, Kensuke. You're supposed to warn us about shit like this."
Kensuke glared, pointedly straightening a stack of papers next to the offending hand. "You want it or not?"
The new man wasn't keeping his voice down, or even trying to hide his distaste. He glared at Kakashi as he approached. "No."
Kensuke sighed. "You're in luck, then, Hatake. Sign here and here," Kakashi obliged, not giving the other ninja a second glance. "And take this." He accepted the rolled mission scroll. "Don't do anything stupid," Kensuke admonished, ticking off the mission as assigned and sliding Kakashi's forms into a box behind him.
Kakashi nodded, spun on a heel and pulled a quick translocation. He kept his chakra tight and sharp, leaving nothing in his wake but the quiet swish of air rushing in.
The fires reflected in Jin's eyes as they crouched on the hilltop overlooking the industrial park. He was grinning, tongue lolling out as he watched the buildings go up in flames. Kakashi munched on a ration bar, tearing off pieces to offer to the dog. Jin snapped them up quickly, returning as quickly as possible to the destruction occurring below.
It was rather mesmerizing, Kakashi had to admit. The flames were rising green in some places, tiny explosions dropping huge blocks of concrete down in thundering waves. But they couldn't linger much longer.
He rose to his feet, clicking his fingers at Jin. The dog growled, brown ruff rising as he shot a surly glance at Kakashi. Kakashi tucked his chin and met it with a low rumble. Jin gave in.
They slipped off into the trees, taking the ground route as the branches were thin and spindly here. The huge dog moved as silently as Kakashi, though every now and again he gave a quiet yip of excitement.
Kakashi was smiling, too, under his mask. The buzz was contagious. The rush of exhilaration fed his stride, speeding him onwards. He wanted to hunt. He could see it in the bunching of Jin's muscles under his sleek coat as well, the fires still in his eyes.
Obito was looking at him funny. Kakashi panted heavily, a stupid grin on his face. Jin lounged beside him, huffing quiet laughter. "What the hell are you doing?" Obito finally demanded. It came out with a bit of a squeal, and Kakashi tipped his head to the side to blink innocently up at the dark-haired man. His hair was wild and loose, headband folded on a table back home.
He licked his lips, didn't get it all off, and raised a hand to swipe over the exposed skin. Maybe that was what had Obito all riled up. Kakashi fumbled for his mask, pulling it up over his stained face. Obito's eyes widened, "Oh, shit, now I'm gonna think it's always like that," he groaned.
Jin gave a high bark of amusement. Kakashi shoved him playfully, and growled back when Jin bared his teeth.
"Seriously, Kakashi," Obito said, and he sounded just a little bit nervous. "Say something human, yeah?"
Kakashi thought for a bit. "Hello."
"Hello," Obito repeated, relieved. He stuck out a hand to the nin splayed out on the grass. "C'mon, man."
Kakashi wrapped a messy hand around Obito's wrist, and yanked. The boy tumbled down on top of him with a squeak. "Kakashi!"
Jin barked happily as they wrestled, slapping his paws down on the ground, tail waving madly. Obito was bigger and heavier than Kakashi, and even with the element of surprise on the slighter man's side, Obito finally pinned him down with knees and hands.
"What the fuck, Kakashi!" The one grey eye was sparkling, the other side forgotten and open to the air. Ribs shook with laughter between Obito's knees.
"Please tell me this isn't human," Obito admonished, shaking one of Kakashi's hands by the wrist. But he was grinning, too, so Kakashi thought he couldn't be that mad.
He shook his head, hair rubbing into the grass. "Deer," he said. "Jin and I were hungry."
Obito turned faintly green. "Jin's been around a lot recently, hasn't he?" he asked, casting a wary glance at the big dog. Jin's lips peeled back a bit further off his teeth as Obito looked.
Kakashi nodded, not seeing any problem with this. But Obito let go, and rolled off him. "C'mon, get up. We're supposed to go meet up with Rin."
Kakashi obeyed, kipping to his feet. He ended up right in front of Obito, and stuck his nose under his taller teammate's chin. He chuckled as Obito yelped again. "Get away!" He skipped back when Obito pushed him, eye twinkling. "What's gotten into you? I've never seen you like this."
"I'm happy," Kakashi said, simply.
They were waiting at his apartment. One of them perched on the railing of the balcony, leaning precariously out into space. Obito gaped a little, and nudged Kakashi as the two pairs of ninja eyed each other outside Kakashi's door. The lingering smile dropped from Kakashi's face, and he banished Jin with a snap of chakra. A second twist opened the door, and he brushed past the agents silently. One of them tossed the scroll in an arc over his shoulder, into the apartment. He caught it automatically, waited for Obito to hurry in behind him, and slammed the door with his foot.
"ANBU-Kakashi, what-why were there ANBU? What's in the scroll? Dude, what's going on?"
Kakashi clenched the rolled paper in his hand, smearing drying deer blood over the clean cream color. "Food's in the kitchen. I'm taking a shower."
He shut the door on Obito before he could ask any more questions. It had been barely three weeks since their last visit, after Hirohito died. He was starting to think they just sent whoever was in village to stalk him, and he was getting damn sick of it. Now Jin was going to be angry at him the next time he summoned him, but he hadn't wanted Jin to hang around and have to listen to him give opinions.
"Fuck." That was really all there was to say, as he stripped down and turned on the water. He scrubbed flakes of gore from his skin, spat mouthfuls of water onto the ground, where they swirled around the drain in brownish streams.
He ran rough hands through his hair, clutching at his head. "Human. Think human." The presence of the ANBU had snapped him pretty well out of his pleasant mood; the cold water brought him the rest of the way down.
Even before his dad had cut his stomach out, he hadn't been around all that much. Kakashi had been pretty much raised by the pack. He hadn't signed the contract until he made chuunin, but his dad had always left a few around to look after him. Shiba and he had been raised pretty much side by side since they were pups. He'd learned to talk to the dogs long before he learned to talk to other kids; the first day at Academy, he'd growled at three classmates and gotten in an alpha fight with an eight year old. He'd won, and then been very confused when, rather than immediately becoming an accepted member of the pack, everyone in the schoolyard shunned him.
The years before his dad died, though, had been happy ones for Kakashi. The missions, even the blood he spilled, hadn't meant much. They'd been challenges, games to win. And if he hadn't made any friends of his own species, he'd had the pack to come home to. There had been three months when he was four when he refused to talk in anything but canine. The Academy teachers were furious; Sakumo thought it was all quite hilarious.
It was hard, sometimes, to come back from that mindset, to return to the point where things mattered, where you could hurt someone's feelings and not make it up with a good fight and a bared throat. He didn't want to have to think through choices that would define his life and change who he was. Not when there was no good decision.
His hair was sticking up in all directions when he came out of the bathroom, damp and wild. Obito looked over guiltily, a steaming cup of instant noodles caught between his lips. Kakashi went for pants, giving Obito time to finish his food and hide the evidence. Pants, leg bindings, mask and undershirt, shirt, weapons holsters, hitai-ate. He arranged the last carefully, suddenly aware that he'd spent the afternoon with the socket bare. He hadn't been planning to see anyone but Jin. And Jin didn't scream like stupid little civilian girls when he blinked.
He threw the wet towel in a corner, eye slipping past the framed photo of him, Obito, Rin and Minato-sensei, back when they'd first become a team. He'd hated Minato, for a while, after the Fox. He'd hated his father, too, for much longer. He hadn't had Obito to beat him back into grief back then.
His teammate was lounging on his counter when he got back into the kitchen. "You ready to go? So what was up with the ANBU spooks? You didn't seem surprised."
Kakashi shrugged, slipping on sandals and gesturing Obito out the door. He snapped up the seals and swung off the balcony. "Kakashi!"
Obito clattered down the stairs after him. Twenty seconds later, he jumped the last four steps and stumbled over to where Kakashi was leaning against a wall, arms crossed. "Yah, asshole," Obito muttered. "C'mon."
Kakashi fell into step behind him. "So where are we going?"
"Training field seventeen. Rin wants to practice before the exam."
"What exam?"
Obito twisted around. "Seriously?"
Kakashi twitched his eyebrow.
"The field exam. She wants to get back on active rotation."
"Since when?"
"Sweet gods, Kakashi. She's been talking about it for six months!"
He hummed, and slouched a little further down.
"You need to pay more attention, man. This is why people don't like you," Obito said.
He shrugged. "Do I need them to?"
Obito sighed, exasperated. "Yeah, you do! You've got to have friends."
"I have you."
They turned off the main streets, heading into the trees surrounding the training fields. "And what if I die?"
"I won't let you," Kakashi said, matter-of-factly.
Obito stopped abruptly, and turned. "Kakashi." He was oddly subdued, his eye searching Kakahi's low-lidded gaze. "What's gonna happen to you?"
Kakashi shrugged, and forced his eye into a smile.
He caught Rin across the jaw with a spinning kick; she dropped like a rock. Kakashi slouched on his left leg, blinking down at Rin's groaning body. Obito rushed over, helping her sit up. "You okay? Rin? How many fingers am I holding up." He waved a hand in front of her eyes.
"Obito, it's fine." She lifted green hands to her face.
"You won't have time for that in the field," Kakashi said.
The light faded, and Rin staggered to her feet. "Kakashi," Obito growled.
Rin waved a hand. "He's right." She settled into a stance. "Let's go."
He went slow, he never drew a weapon, he never drew on his chakra. He still barely managed to pull the punch that would have broken her nose, not realizing until almost too late she wasn't able to block. She froze, staring at his fist right between her eyes. "Oops."
"This is a terrible idea," he said flatly. "You'd be dead by now."
She clenched her jaw, then winced. "That's why I'm training."
He dropped his hand and backed away a few paces. "You're not good enough."
"Kakashi!" Obito yelled. He drew up beside Kakashi and muttered in his ear. "This is the other reason people don't like you. Stop being an asshole."
He leaned away. "She needs to hear it."
"Hey!" Rin glowered at them. "I'm here, you know. And I know I'm never going to be a fighter. I'll be backup, only. I just have to be good enough to keep myself safe."
Obito pinched him, hard. Kakashi shut his mouth. As loud and brash as Obito was, he had a surprisingly acute sense of people and what they would do. And apparently, this was not the moment to bring up that mission.
His leg twinged. He was pretty sure, at this point, that none of the pain was real. It still made him grit his teeth under the mask. The fact that it was nearly two centimeters shorter than the left rarely bothered him; he walked with an unavoidable limp, but it made little difference when he fought. The phantom pains in his crushed and rebuilt chakra pathways were more distracting.
Obito was pushing at his arm gently. "Why don't you and me go for a bit, Rin. Kakashi, go sit down."
He obeyed instantly, crouching at the bottom of a tree to watch. Obito had improved drastically since he was a chuunin, the same way Rin had in the medical field, though she still had laughable combat ability. He could almost hold his own against Kakashi, and sometimes brought him down in spars with the sharingan activated.
He was still unbelievably wasteful in his motion, Kakashi thought, scratching idly under his headband. Far too dependent on the sharingan, and currently being far too lenient with the girl he was dating. He considered throwing an explosive tag in there to mix things up a bit, but decided against it as too much work.
Rin blurred, a swirl of leaves lifting off the ground around her. Kakashi sighed, and surged his chakra. His hair crackled a little; the genjutsu broke. She'd used the same one back when they were kids.
Waiting for them to finish, he went to draw a kunai. His fingers encountered the soft tassle of an official scroll. Casting a quick glance at the two fighting ninja, to make sure they were distracted, he unrolled it over his knees.
It wasn't the usual offical missive they brought him. Written in a tall, angular hand, it was a short, personal message.
Hatake Kakashi, I would be pleased to speak with you at your convenience. You have been recommended strongly as a candidate for our ranks. I am aware of your reluctance regarding the position, and am the first to admit that perhaps we have courted you in the wrong manner over the years. However I am requesting the chance to speak with you in person, at your earliest availability.
It was signed by the Director of the Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai.
He rolled it up with a snap, and shoved it back in his kunai holster.
Once a year, Kakashi visited Minato's grave. Not in October, when it was bedecked with garlands of flowers and the folded notes of worshipful citizens. No, Kakashi visited in late Spring, when other people were too full of the new year and heady with oncoming summer to be lingering in graveyards. Today was a good day for the annual visit, he had decided. There was news for Minato-sensei.
He sat on the grass in front of the flat square stone, tracing the name silently. Rin had passed her exam the day before. Minato would be proud of that, he thought. He'd been supportive of whatever his students had dreamed, no matter the idiocy of their goals.
Kakashi had seen Rin wearing a chuunin vest for the first time earlier that morning. He'd watched her leave with on her first mission in four years, from a perch on the top of the village wall.
Rin had been pulled off field duty after the fiasco in Rock. Since then, she'd staffed the village hospital, been rotated into temporary camps for border support, but always at locations well within Fire's borders.
She had certainly saved his life, as much as Obito had, in that dark, suffocating cave. Stopped him from bleeding out of a torn femoral artery, patched his leg back together enough to save the mangled flesh from dying, blocked the nerves in his hip so he felt nothing as his useless leg banged into boulders when they climbed to the roof of piled rock and Obito steadied him long enough to ram a final chidori through the enclosing stone.
But he'd never been able to forget that it was her fault they were trapped there in the first place. As much as Obito denied it. So as he watched the four chuunin leap up into the trees at the side of Konoha's main trade road, he hoped the three men with her would return safe.
He had news of Obito for Minato, as well. The Uchiha was under discussion for a genin team. Which meant, as well, he was in the running for full jounin status. He was young for a teaching position, but Kakashi thought it would suit him. Protect him as well, which Kakashi was grateful for.
And Kakashi, he had news of himself as well. Not that he'd found a girlfriend, as Minato had teased him relentlessly about for years. Nor a boyfriend, which idea when presented by Obito had only increased Minato's pool of well-meaning blind date attempts.
As you are aware, the Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai is still in recovery after the decimations of the Third Ninja War and the attack of the Kyuubi no Yoko.
The Director had been surprisingly pleasant and well-spoken.
It is the greatest of services one can give to our village.
And he'd never once spoken of honour, or duty, or the Hokage's precious Will of Fire.
It's hard, and it's bloody, and I know my agents are considered less than human by many of the people outside of these walls.
He'd heard Obito shouting in his head after every sentence, seen Shiba's accusing eyes and felt Pakkun's resigned sighs.
And I understand if that is not who you want to be. Not many can accept it. But, Hatake, there is far more to what we are than how we are seen.
In the end, we are Konoha's first and last wall.
In the end, it had been the handshake. The Director looking straight into his uncovered and open eyes, not registering the slightest hint that he'd even noticed the gaping lack. Walking down the halls, past faceless agents in white and black, and receiving nothing but brisk nods. This, he realized, stepping out into the morning sun, this was a place where he could be pack.
"I said yes," he told Minato's grave.
He waited for a furious ghost to rise accusing from the ground and berate him for turning his back on his team, for giving up on being the person Minato had tried so hard to coax him into being.
The wind sighed through fresh green leaves in the trees behind the Hokage's memorial. Kakashi sat there until the sun set, then watched the moon rise over the trees.
Maybe Obito had been right, in a roundabout way. He didn't need friends, but maybe he needed people. A human pack, to trust and protect and build his place in. One that wasn't laden down with the burdens of past regrets and failures.
A pack, where for once, he could just be.