I sit on the bed, holding the pillow to my face and sobbing into it. My legs are crossed beneath me, ripped skinny jeans clinging tightly to them. Why would she do this to me? I gave her my heart and she ripped in two effortlessly, as if it were just a crappy scrap of paper.

Maybe that's all I am- crappy. Everyone always told me that I was an emo faggot and they're probably right. I should just stop trying. They told me to stop a long time ago- I should have listened. They said that I didn't deserve to love someone and that I didn't deserve to be loved. I know that they're right now- it's fucking obvious for anyone to see.

I scream out, tears interrupting me again and as I lean forward I hear the click of the doorknob. A few second later the lights blaze on redness burning into my eyes. Why can't they all just stay away from me?! Can they not read the sign on my door that says 'KEEP OUT' or are they just stupid?!

'Andy...'

I hear Ashley's voice and something clicks inside of me, making me flip out at him.

'Get the Hell out of here Ashley! I don't want you to be in the same damn room as me, why don't you get that?!'

I throw the pillow at him without looking and I hear it thud against the floor as I protect my eyes with my hands. This isn't worth it. I don't want to be here. I want to get out of this place and be alone. I don't want to be with anyone.

'It's okay Andy. We're all here for you.'

Turning towards him, I take away my hands and growl. As I stand I realize that he's clutching my pillow to his chest and I raise my eyebrows, irritated that he's even touching my stuff.

'I want to leave.'

'Where'd you want to go then?'

Ashley smiles at me and I frown at him. Why can't he just tell that I want him to back off and leave me alone? Why is everyone blind in this dump? Everything's falling apart around me and I don't want to see them. I want my old friends Jack and Daniel to give me a hand rather than this fuck-head.

'Somewhere that you can't find me, that's where!'

I charge into him and run down the stairs, aware of the thud he makes as his back hits the ground. I don't want to listen, I want to go. I want to run. I want everything that I can't have. I want her back.

I open the door, Jake appearing in the corridor. Why does everyone keep popping up around me?! I don't want them near me- I've said it too many times. I've jinxed myself. I ruined it all. I've screwed everything up.

I sprint through the doorway, slamming the door behind me and, as I turn the corner, I see Jake rolling on the floor in pain, clutching his nose in agony. What an idiot.

The soles of my boots slap the pavement over and over again as I hear the distant echoes of voices running through my head. They tell me everything over and over again.

You're a failure Andy. You don't deserve to be alive Andy. No one loves you Andy. They wouldn't care if you died Andy.

It's running on a never ending loop in my mind like a record that runs back to the same part over and over again. My brains wired wrong, why can't I do anything right? I am a failure. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't blame them for not loving me. I don't care if I die either.
The questions are always followed with the same answer. Over. And over. And over. Again and again and again. They won't leave me alone. Why won't they leave? I just want them to leave like everyone else.

I collapse to my knees, fresh tears appearing on the edges of my eyes. A small river lies in front of me and as I grasp the sides of my head in annoyance and pain I know what I need to do.

If I can't stand it here then maybe I can stand it away from here, maybe I can spend the rest of eternity in Hell side by side with the rest of the worlds sinners. It could always be better than this place, this place is ruining me.

I shuffle forward to the edge of the river and tip forward, the ends of my hair falling into the water before anything else. Gradually, in what feels like forever, my head slips into the icy water.

The small waves begin to lick at my neck, pulling my torso and legs into the waters trap. I'm finally here now.
I close my eyes, the oxygen running out of my lungs. The river bed beneath me is sandy and laced with rocks but I don't really care. I know that I'll be away from here soon and then it'll all be a bit better, even if it's just a little better it'll be worth it.

I can hear people shouting things but... They're all so far away and I just can't be bothered. I'll just stay here as everything slips away from me.