Ye Old Disclaimer:Harry Potter and associated milieu, characters, and situations are owned by J.K. Rowling and her licensees. This is a work of fan fiction, produced solely for enjoyment. No infringement of rights is intended. J.K. Rowling owns it all, I am just playing with the Story. No money is being made by me in any way shape or form.
Beta's:
Big Thanks to Polgara and flynhghr for their help.
Chapter 1: Dark News
A soft melody was echoing around in the darkness that had been his existence for far longer than he could remember. It reverberated as if the sound had traveled a great distance. Slowly, he began to move toward the melody. It was hauntingly familiar. It was beckoning him towards the surface.
"I am here, I won't ever leave you." They were such very soft words. He could barely understand them. The voice was familiar. It should mean something to him. It was very important, but the beautiful melody stopped when it sounded. Confused, he was not sure which direction to go in the black. He felt like he had spent an eternity turning and twisting about in the ether until he decided his direction.
"Come back, Harry. Please…"
There, that way. He moved toward the direction he thought the sound was coming from, and slowly began to feel like himself again. Harry. That was his name. When the voice stopped he became concerned that he no longer was headed in the right direction until the melody started again. Finally hearing it, he began to move toward it once again.
It seemed to take a long time before he was close to the voice. His journey was interrupted many times by the absence of the voice or the melody, but he continued on each time it returned. He started to become aware that the darkness was formed from within his mind. He stilled for a moment, wondering if the voice and melody was all in his head as well, or if they were real.
Of course it's all in your head, but how would that keep it from being real? The thought sounded suspiciously like his departed Godfathers last words to him when he returned from the dead after Riddle killed him in the forest.
Yes, of course. Slowly he started to feel the bed beneath him. It was soft and heavily perfumed with starch. He was in a hospital, or somewhere very much like one. It must be the hospital wing. He had spent enough time in here to know this smell, but he never remembered it being quite this strong. Maybe the sheets had just been cleaned.
Other smells begin to filter through. He could smell blood, sweat, and something else…something he was not sure of. I know this scent. It smells like…
"Hermione, you need some rest. Come on, a bit of sleep will do you good." Ron's voice was wrong though. He sounded desperate, confused, and hurt about something. Did he fall off his broom too? How bad was the match that both of them were in the Hospital wing?
"I will not leave him Ron. He needs to see a friendly face when he wakes." Hermione. That was what the smell was. She sounded sad, almost heartbroken. Something was not right. What could have happened to make her feel like that?
"He's been in here for over a week, Hermione. You need to be prepared for the fact that he might not wake up. I talked to Madam Pomfrey, and she said that considering his injures, there may be nothing left of him to wake up. He took the worst injuries. Of those who lived…"
"No. I am not leaving him. He will wake up. He's Harry. He has to." The sounds of footsteps echoed throughout the wing before the door shut. He heard Hermione crying again. With an extreme effort, one that he just barely pulled together, he opened his eyes.
She was leaning her head on the bed next to him. Her hair was lying in dirty coils and her robes were in tatters. His memory was very fuzzy, and without his glasses or contacts, so was his vision. He remembered a time when she was crying this hard before. Strangely enough, it was after her and Ron's break up. He lifted his arm slowly, it was so heavy, but he managed to lightly brush away the tear he saw slowly sliding down her cheek. She jumped and almost fell from the chair. With a grunt, he tried to lean over to her, reaching for her. She needed him. He would do anything for her.
"He..rm..io…ne…" He frowned in confusion, what happened to his voice? It was gravely and for some reason reminded him of Sirius, or Lupin just after the moon.
Her eyes were wide in surprise, almost fear, when she looked at him. With a shaky hand, she reached for his like she was afraid it would disappear if she touched it. Leaning a bit forward, he was able to finish what he started and brushed the tears from her eyes.
"Don't cry…It will be okay" His voice was low, but she heard him. He had no idea what was wrong with him but he was so weak. Raising his hand to her shoulder he grabbed her robe and tried to tug her to him. He did not have the strength pull very hard, but she almost flung herself onto him. She was crying her eyes out into his shoulder. With the last of his strength, he put his arm around her and stroked her hair.
It took some time before she raised her head to look into his eyes. He tried to smile but the look in her eyes seemed to reflect something was very wrong. He watched as she raised her head and shouted, "Madam Pomfrey!" The last thing he saw before he retreated into the blackness was the healer running to him with a worried look on her face.
It was easier this time to wake. He opened his eyes to look around. Hospital wing, he was in Hogwarts. He looked to the foot of his bed to see Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall talking.
"He woke?" Professor McGonagall's gruff voice was attempting to whisper.
Madam Pomfrey nodded her head, "Ms. Granger was here, and I saw him fall back to sleep. But, yes, he was awake trying to comfort her before he passed back out."
"Thank God." Professor McGonagall turned to look at him and caught him watching her. He raised an eyebrow at her stunned face.
"A person could get the idea that he was seriously hurt by the way you two are acting." He tried to smile, but there was a lot of pain in his chest and left arm. It ended up as a grimace. He noticed both were heavily bandaged. Figures, the one arm that is actually flesh ends up damaged. Both women walked toward him, smiling back.
"I am very relieved to see you alive and talking Harry. We have been very worried about you."
"I am not sure why I am here. Can someone fill me in? The last thing I remember was…"He tried to think for a moment. "I think I was heading to bed in the tower…something about a sandwich…" He snorted. "I must be sick, I sound like Ron."
"You were attacked by one of Greyback's men. He was laying in wait by the tower. When we found you, you were in a bad way. You had lost a lot of blood. Harry, he…" She started choking on her tears
It was starting to come back to him now. The guy jumped him, slashing his chest and biting into his arm. He blinked. Greyback was a werewolf, as were all his men. He closed his eyes as the implications hit him. He was cursed.
"How long until the moon?" His voice was choked with all of the emotions he was trying to control.
"Mr. Weasley does not change at the moon. It's possible that you won't either, Mr. Potter. There is some contamination, but we won't know how severe it is for a few days." Madam Pomfrey assured him. He nodded his head, saying nothing.
He knew one thing for sure. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. It might be better to just let it all go. His emotions felt dead. He was a monster now. Hermione would not want him anymore. Maybe it would be for the best then. Yes, it would be for the best. Dying was easy. He'd done it before. He waited until McGonagall left, then he grabbed his wand and stunned Madam Pomfrey.
Sorry Bones.
He made sure to levitate her onto her bed in her study so she would be comfortable. In her office, he rummaged until he found parchment and ink. One last good-bye.
A short while later Harry folded the parchment and sealed it, leaving it on the table of the hospital room. It was addressed to 'The Survivors'. He grabbed the unopened bottle of fire whiskey off the table, and began walking his way through the old castle and up the stairs of the astronomy tower in a daze. His body ached, and he was pretty sure he was bleeding somewhere. Not that he cared anymore. As he climbed the last stair, at the very top of the tower, he had an impressive view of the end of the world.
The Castle had taken some hard hits from the Battle. Some of the old walls were down, and there were breaches in all quarters. From here, he could hear the merry-making from all of the joyous people celebrating the fall of Tom Riddle. Yes, everything was good in the world. He uncorked the bottle and was hit instantly with the smell of the potent alcohol. He closed his eyes for a moment, tasting the wind as it lightly caressed his worn and haggard face, before he took the next step that allowed him to stand on the edge of the short wall.
He opened his eyes and surveyed the grounds. A lot of friends had sold their lives for the victory last week. So had Harry, though he was still physically present. He thought of a certain redhead to see if he could feel anything. Nothing. He thought of Hermione. She was the only reason he came back. They had grown close over the last couple of years. She always stood by him. She would never know he loved her. It was better this way. He only came back to get rid of Riddle. With Riddle gone, she could do all the things she wanted to do with her life that the war put on hold. Harry would just get in the way now. Still nothing. He thought of the times where they had only each other in the black. They held each other and talked from the heart. It was, after all, just the two of them doing the impossible. Due to Riddle taking the Ministry, the Vanguard was stretched too thin. It was the darkest, and yet the brightest, time in his life.
Sad that all of my memories are like that. Nothing good without a lot of pain. He felt his heart twitch, but the feeling died quickly. If you love someone, you have to let them go. He knew all about that. Sacrificing came easy to him. It was what he was raised to do. The path of the Martyr was one he had tread for some time.
He was tired, so incredibly tired of feeling the pain. He had no one now. Looking out across the castle, he surveyed the first home he ever had. Even if it had tried to kill him at least once in each of the last seven years, it had been his haven. Was that weird? Home was where homicidal murders, monsters, and deranged convicts tried to kill you? Well, that had been his life.
With that thought he raised the bottle to his head, and pulled the trigger.
xxxxxxx
Hermione walked through the doors to the Hospital wing, and noticed that Harry was gone. A letter was sitting on his rumpled bed. She had a terrible feeling of foreboding as she picked it up. It was addressed to 'The Survivors'. She knew that handwriting. It was Harry's.
With quivering hands, she opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. Though tears began to fall and sobs were racking her body, she could not help but keep reading once she started.
Dear Survivors.
I have no idea when anyone will find this, but I am sure it will answer where I have gone. I would like to thank everyone who helped in the fight against Riddle. We all paid terrible prices for our victory and I only hope that once things calm down, everything will be okay for you all. I have a few parting words for certain people.
Ron… You're my mate and so I will just say, you're a right bastard. I don't know how many times you have abandoned me over the years, fought with me over stupid things, or any of that shit. I will say one thing though, you always go on about how you don't have things, you're not famous, your brothers did everything before you did, and you're poor. Ron, grow up. I would have done anything to have my parents alive, I would have lived poor and happily so. The Greatest Treasure that ever existed was your family, and you spent your life pissing and moaning that you had no money. Every time you left me was because you were a jealous git because I apparently get everything and you get nothing. Yeah, I get crazed death eaters and maniac dark lords. I get people who only want to be around me because I am The Harry Fucking Potter. Yeah, I get everything. Well, guess what Ron, if that is all you care about I will tell you a secret, I always envied you. Brothers and a sister, a loving mother and father, a happy home.
You, Ronald Weasley have everything I ever wanted.
Mr. and Ms. Weasley… You have been like a mum and dad to me. Thank you for everything.
Fred and George… I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Don't give up, the jokes still need to keep coming. Keep the laughter alive. Sell a You-No-Poo for me.
Professor McGonagall… I will sorely miss your wit. As students we did not hear it often but I will forever remember in fifth year you whispering to Peeves that the screws in the chandelier unscrew the other way. I will forever remember you thumbing your nose like a little girl at Professor Snape when the house cup came back to Gryffindor. Thank you for everything. Of all my teachers, you stood by me more than any others. I have always thought well of you.
Neville… Take care of the Vanguard, treat Ginny right, else I will come back for you. (Do you feel sufficiently threatened yet? Ha ha ha ha.)
Luna… Thank you for everything. I wish things could have been different, you are special, never let anyone tell you different. You have never been Looney to me, nor will you ever. Like we talked about, the impossible is only that which we have yet to prove.
Hermione… You and only you have stood by me through the long years. Only you stood by me through everything. Your trust has never wavered despite what was said, done, or thought about me. The stone, Chamber, Sirius, every event in the Tri-wizard, the Ministry, Horcruxes, through it all I can't picture anything where you were not standing beside me. It was always your voice in my head that told me where things stood. You were my conscious. Over time as we grew closer I began to hope and trust. Strange for me, since those are emotions I am not very familiar with, but it came easy with you. It was always you, Hermione that stood where no one else would. I had to sacrifice what I wanted for what I had. I never regretted having you in my life. How could I? Something was better than nothing and you made my life worth living.
Albus raised me to be a weapon to fire at Riddle. I had to be willing to die when the time came. Willing to throw it all away to defeat him. I did, for you. I want you to understand that the only reason I came back after Riddle killed me in the Forest was for you and you alone. I wanted him dead so that you could be happy. It's all I ever wanted, and I never measured up.
Seriously, why would anyone want me? I have been a weapon for the Greater Good, I have been the poster child for the side of light, I have been chased and sought after for my fame, wealth, and mostly for doing something no one else has done. I am a broken person who has come to consider pain necessary to draw breath. Funny, what no one realizes is that Riddle did kill me. I was just too stubborn to lay down and die.
Having a death sentence over your head all your life is a wearing experience, one I never felt I could lay on you for my own selfish reasons. I hope that you will find happiness out there; you deserve nothing but the best in all things. You are beautiful, brave, witty, and above all, fiercely intelligent. NEVER let anyone tell you differently. Never settle for anything less than Outstanding in all things. Of course, you're Hermione Granger, I could never believe you would settle for anything less. Tell your mum and dad I will miss them and I hope they are well.
To the Marauders Vanguard… You are the real Heroes of the war. Each one of you. Thank you all for everything, and it's been an honor to stand with you in the crucible.
To the Dursleys… Go to hell. I will be waiting for you.
The Old Goat… I go on my next Great Adventure knowing that only I, Hermione, and Neville know the truth of how Riddle died. I take great pleasure in knowing you will never know. I hope it eats at you.
To the Survivors… Live, Love, and find the peace I was never allowed to know. May your lives be richer knowing that one man could give so much for you. I shall tell everyone beyond the veil their sacrifices were not in vain.
So ends the tale of Harry Potter,
The Boy-Who-Lived,
The Chosen One.
He-Who-Won,
Your sacrificial Lamb…
Just Harry.
"HARRY!" Hermione screamed. Her anguished cry pouring all her heart, un-requited love, pain, and magic into it. The castle groaned, and every single person, awake or asleep, heard her scream that echoed throughout the entire castle and grounds. Every single person could feel her pain. When the cry struck them where they were, not a one could hold back the tears that formed. The entire castle seemed to send out her anguish to every corner of its being, and the bones of the living shook with it.
xxxxx
Minerva McGonagall walked into the heavily warded hospital wing to check on her two charges. It had been over two weeks since that day, and Ms. Granger's horrid screams of pain that shook the castle's foundations. As soon as she walked in, she felt her heart break a little. Harry Potter laid in one of the hospital beds, a broken wreck with a catatonic Hermione Granger lying next to him, whispering in his ear. Her daily visits have been the same since Ms. Granger woke from her stupor after reading his letter. She made her way to Poppy to see if his status had changed. They found him at the bottom of the Astronomy tower. He was broken, bloody, and barely alive. It was still a mystery how he survived the fall from such a great height.
"Anything yet, Poppy?" She was hoping for something new, anything.
"His bones have finally set and healed. It was a long process since the spell damage and fall caused so much damage. I was afraid to use Skelegrow. With his mind so fragile, I was afraid to cause him too much pain. He still has not woken. Thankfully he is finally breathing on his own. However I still have been unable to discover a way to counter the unknown spell damage to his system. The potions are at least holding it at bay. As best as I can tell, he is not in any pain. Though, I really won't know until he wakes." Madam Pomfrey whispered so as not to draw Ms. Granger's attention. The poor dear had been through enough.
"So, nothing new. How is she holding up?" Minerva was dreadfully worried for the child.
"She never leaves his side unless it's to use the loo. A house elf she calls Dobby comes in and brings her food. When he is not cooking, he stays there on the floor by Mr. Potter. The other elf, Winky I think she said her name was, sits there with him. She spends her days whispering to him, about her parents, times they shared. Usually after a few hours she reverts to whispering how much she loves him. It breaks my heart Minerva." Poppy had tears of her own falling.
"I know. Never in my years have I seen two like them. It's not right, Poppy." Minerva had tears falling down her cheeks as well.
"Does anyone else know he is here? I heard there was a ruckus a few days ago in the Great Hall."
Minerva snorted. "No one other than you, myself, and Filius knows for sure he is here. We have been fielding reporters, the ministry, and, in general, a great many people but word, unconfirmed, has been getting out. Mr. Longbottom has called in the Vanguard. They have taken up vigil to ensure no one sneaks in. Of course, the Order is helping as well. The rumor mill though is flying at full tilt. Thankfully, Kingsley has taken the Prophet in hand and forced them not to print any of them."
"Give me time, Minerva. I will find a way to right what Albus did wrong. I still can't believe we allowed this to happen to one of ours."
Fresh tears began to cascade down her aged face. She whispered, "I know. We all trusted him, and Harry was such a fine boy. No one knew how bad it really was until it was too late. Albus knew, for which I shall never forgive him. I do hope he wakes soon. Keep me posted Poppy. If he wakes, come get me, I don't care what time it is."
As Minerva left, Madam Pomfrey nodded and returned to her research and potions. All the while a soft yet broken voice muttered a quiet litany in the room, "I love you. I love you, Harry. I won't leave you. I am here. I will always be here. I love you."
Authors Note:
Thank you all for reading and Please Review. Updated: 2/5/11
As the few people who have been following this story knows this is the second time I have revised this work. This chapter may seem out of place with the rest of the story but it will all come together at the end.
Updates to this Chapter include a few minor corrections and adjustments. All Chapters are being updated so I can fix plot holes, other errors and get back into the story so I can finish it.