"Tony..." Pepper pauses and looks at him, at the back of his head. "You know that I would help you with anything... but, I cannot help you if you're going to start all of this again."
He doesn't look back, over his shoulder and at her. The ashtray on the balcony is his point of focus, when he parts his lips.
"There is nothing except this. There's the 'next mission'." He replies and his voice doesn't sound sarcastic, ironic. It's just... a little bit broken, maybe. "Nothing else."
And she hates him for it.
She hates him, Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist and she hates Bruce Banner who decided to fuck off and-
She inhales sharply and turns on her heel.
There was nothing else she could do.
In fact - no. There was a plenty of things she could do, she wanted to do but... but she knew he wouldn't listen.
When Tony sees Bruce again, for the first time in weeks, he bites his lip. He's sure Banner knows he's here; his presence is too big to go unnoticed. But he doesn't receive the attention. Even as their line of sight crosses, the fucking hurt in his eyes and Tony can't handle this he knows he can't and the groceries end up scattered on the floor, and when he bends down to put them back in the basket suddenly he's gone, and Tony is angry.
He decides he'll leave groceries to Pepper. It wasn't like he was hungry anymore.
Bruce reaches for the phone again and finally works up the nerve to call Tony. What he doesn't know is that Tony's not going to pick up.
When the call goes to voicemail, Bruce falls silent until the call cuts off.
Pepper sees Bruce from where she's talking to the press. She sees the way Tony tenses when he notices him too. She smiles a bit, hoping that Bruce would finally make it right for both of them but then she sees him turning... It's only natural that she walks over to Tony and places a hand on his shoulder. He doesn't shrug it off. She sees something looking slightly like a smirk and he pats her hand. They don't say anything.
When everybody has gone home, Tony just sits on the sofa with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a glass in another. He doesn't want to think.
Tony pours himself a drink and sets the bottle on the glass table in front. He doesn't want to think and he tries to block them out of his mind but the memories fill his vision.
He can see Bruce, in bed, reading a book, playing a bit with his glasses. And... and feel an arm flung around him. And the heat of the other's body and he knows... this is just ridiculous. Reaching for his belt to undo it, he puts the glass on the table. The memories are vivid, so bright that when he remembers Banner's touch, white hot against his skin, he curses.
There's just one word he can describe that in. Shameful.
As his own hands slide down his skin, his intent not only to get off but also feel the love. The lie.
He smiles. It's a twitch of his lips at first, but then it's this damn grin. His mask, the one he hid behind all the time, trying to make nothing of it. His hands are occupied, nails biting, fingers rubbing against his sensitive skin and he can only think of how he would want to make that lovely mouth his again.
It doesn't surprise him. He can feel it built up, slowly, creeping through his whole body and settling down in his stomach.
And then he needs to clean himself up. So he reaches for wipes and notes to give Pepper a bonus for being so thoughtful. He wouldn't have thought of it.
The place is in a mess. A huge pile of broken things in the middle of the so-called longue stares at Bruce, reminding him what happened just minutes ago. He couldn't keep the other guy in check, he couldn't keep him away. Not when he didn't have something... someone to protect.
He sits on a cushion and clutches at his hair, as if trying to pull it out, desperately trying to get himself together; his face white with the dust from one of the walls, was slowly coming back to its natural colour, as his tears washed away the dirt. He himself felt dirty.
"What did you say? You're done?"
And he can't help but feel ashamed at himself, at the other guy, at... at whatever. And he doesn't know he can't know because he hadn't talked to Tony in a long time. Even if he wanted and he did – really, really badly... but he was a coward.
And then there was this episode, with the other guy, when he wakes up in a place that he doesn't even know the latitude of.
The old guy was polite. He gave Bruce clothes and something to eat before he asked:
"You have somewhere to go?"
And Bruce shook his head, unsure of whether he did or not, this was just after his last argument with Tony and the words pour out before he can even think:
"I'm not even sure."
Then he remembers those moments. In the workshop, in the lab, wherever. Just their intimate moments, the moments when there's just Bruce and just Tony and no Iron Man or Hulk, S.H.I.E.L.D. or saving the goddamn world because of one annoying bastard.
Bruce liked to watch when Tony was working on one of his cars the most.
She stops. It wasn't like she was spying or anything, honestly. It was just the fact that she wanted to check on Bruce for a while already and when she finally decides to do it...
From where she watches the door, she can see and hear them both pretty well.
"It doesn't work that way." Bruce pauses and she can't tell what he's feeling, he became pretty damn good with hiding his emotions, tucking them away so that the world was unaware of what was going on inside his head. "You can't just walk in here now and tell me that you can't live without me expected of what? What am I supposed to do with it? Make it all right for you? I can't anymore!"
And then she remembers, yes, it was Tony's fault after all. He may be a playboy but it didn't mean that he had to sleep around. Especially not with Bruce as his... well, partner. Everybody knew that Bruce is the jealous type. But what was confusing about all this was that he was the one that tried to talk to Tony so many times now... but he couldn't... just couldn't get the words out. She was able to see that now.
He didn't want to hurt either of them anymore.
"C'mon, lie to me, tell me you did. Let me feel like the piece of shit I am. Did you love me or not?!"
They all know it's out of character, for all of them but any of them can't help it.
"ANSWER ME!"
A shiver goes down her spine and she realizes. They won't ever be happy. None of them ever will, she sees Tony's face when he turns so that his back faces Bruce, and their expressions are both pained. The door shuts with a soft click.
When he arrives at the tower, "A tower", much later than she does, he's really out of it. His hair dishevelled, kiss marks on his collar and face, the smell of cigarette smoke about him and she smiles, that sort of a sad smile, the one that tells you all.
When he reaches for the zipper of her dress, she doesn't protest. She stops only for a moment, to grab a condom – better safe than sorry.
She blocks out everything what happens next.
Because she's not the one he loves.