[Confession]
"I love you."
Simple words.
Easy words.
Three little words that made her world stop turning.
...
Those words brought back old terrible memories. Since she'd been a toddler, young and innocent and naïve, she knew those words of affection were hard to gain. She spent days, weeks, months trying her very best to get to hear those words. Was perfect to have them addressed to her. It took her actually quite long to realize that she would not hear those specific words from her father. She never truly figured out why he denied her this wish, but she had a theory on her own.
He simply was not the type to display positive feelings so openly. Or even at all. On the other side, he had no problem showing her every minute of her life all the mistakes she did and still does. Terrible memories indeed.
She pulled her mind away from the memories, refusing to feel the agonizing pain any longer. Besides, she had come to terms with it.
Liar
...
Her mind was—because of the memories and her experience—cautious about his words. It debated if it should react in a certain way.
But her heart knew. Her heart always knew.
This was her friend. Her companion. He was all she could ever wish for. For her, he resembled safety and love and contentment. And so much more she could not grasp on to. He was her guidance through the chaos. Of course she loved him. He was her life.
And he knew what to do as well. Slowly, gently he took her hand and entwined their fingers. Warmth radiated from his hand, tingling her skin. He showed the usual genuine, beat-skipping smile and repeated his words. "I love you."
She couldn't help but stare at him. Stare in those gorgeous eyes. Couldn't help but gasp as she finally remembered to breathe.
He couldn't... couldn't love her... In that specific way. Impossible. Impossible.
No way that he would feel this towards her. Her—his friend, his companion. Impossible.
She breathed a lifeless "No."
He furrowed his brow. „Yes. I love you."
Her body slightly shook. Feeling terribly open and vulnerable as if he had stripped her off every layer of security, she hugged her waist with the unoccupied arm and lowered her head. She wanted to hide away. She gladly let her deep blue hair cover her face and hide her emotion—her fear.
She had been nice to him. She had been nice to everyone. Of course. It was part of her education. But never—never—had she implied that there could possibly be more between them than just friendship.
Yes, she had been thankful when he helped through all her rough times, the problems and the emotional roller coasters. But no more.
Or?
"No," she repeated dull. She did not want to hear those words from him, not from anybody. No one should say such things. They hurt and tear people apart.
She was slowly rocking her body forward and backwards. "Don't say that."
She could feel his grip tightening on her hand as if he she would run away or vanish. "But that's how I am feeling. And I want you to know. I want us to be together."
Her lips trembled. She was too close on the edge of crying. Agonizing slowly she retracted her hand and turned away from him. Unable to bear his sight any longer, she left.
She ran.
Her lungs were breathing hot air into the cold.
Her heart was pumping blood through her body.
Her feet were hitting the ground, again and again.
Tears were blurring her vision.
The wind was ripping at her exposed skin.
Her feelings were a mess. The still stinging hurt was there, the embarrassment of her latest actions, the insecurity which never seemed to leave her alone, vulnerability and overspilling love. Chaos combined. She just didn't know what to feel. All the emotions were overwhelming her, drowning her rationality and leaving nothing behind.
She gradually stopped. This all needed to stop.
Why was she running away again? - Because this is what she had always done. Ever since she had run away from problems. It was her way of dealing with it. But never had she feared of seeing her best friend again. Never had feared of seeing his hurt expression, the sadness in his eyes.
And then, suddenly, it hit her; it hit her hard. She knew where the fear came from. Shaking, she took a deep breath.
She loved him.
She felt for him the same as he felt for her. She might have denied herself to feel anger towards her father for not sharing those words with her, but she should not blame Kiba for it. Not when he was going to break through this vicious circle.
A smile slowly lifted up the corners of her lips as she let the feeling pass through her. "I love you, too," she blurted out, unable to keep it inside anylonger. It had been there all along, she simply had hid it away.
A hand touched hers.
For a split second, her smile faltered only to revolve even brighter.
"I know you did," the boy with the red fangs grined and bent down to kiss her.