Seems like I'm not lacking inspiration so I present to you another fic. Even though I love Rollaro this one doesn't have a pairing (I am working on another Rollaro story, don't worry!).

It's also not going to be long (probably just 2 chapters).

Of course I don't own the characters or anything that has to do with SVU.

Hope you like it.

The news didn't come as a surprise. Something inside of her had been waiting for this moment. But still, she felt shaken up when she got the call.

It was a public defender, she let Amanda know that Kim was in Rikers, and the trial would start soon.

Obviously she couldn't get out on bail, even if the judge would have granted her bail, no one could pay it, Amanda sure didn't have any money.

At first she didn't tell anyone, she figured that since Tucker didn't have the courtesy of telling her about Kim, he didn't bother telling Benson. So she kept it to herself for a few days.

She went there to visit her. It wasn't the first time she had to go talk to someone in Rikers, but it has always been a witness or a perp. Now it was her sister and even though she caused her so much pain, she still cared about her and it was tough seeing here there, wearing the uniform. But Kim seemed like herself, she seemed a little detached, as if she didn't think she was in prison.

"Amanda" she said when she saw her.

Amanda took a seat in front of her "hey Kim" she gave her an awkward smile.

"You need to help me get out of here" she sounded so serious, the lawyer said she explained the severity of the situation.

"Kim, you are in big trouble" she tried but Kim didn't let her finish.

"You are a detective, you can think of something, right?"

"No" she answered "a man is dead because of what you'd done and…"

"But you are the one who shot him" Kim said quietly, as if she didn't want the guards to hear, or as if she was trying to blackmail her sister "I didn't kill anyone"

Amanda just stared at her for a while, there were so many things she could have said, but it was useless, Kim was Kim.

"What did the lawyer say?" She decided to ask.

"That lawyer?" Kim puffed "can't you get me a good lawyer? Like that guy who was on the news the other day, I saw it with Alice, she's here for, I don't know what, but this lawyer he helped that actor, he was in this…"

"Kim" Amanda stopped the rumbling "I can't get you another lawyer, I can't afford it"

"Well of course you can't" she said with a reprimanding voice "with all the gambling money you owe I'm not surprised"

Amanda looked down at the table, even though she knew her sister could never change, could never accept her flaws, she still cared about her. But there was nothing Amanda could do now, Kim had to face the consequence of her actions, probably for the first time.

"Jeff was a bad man" Kim continued talking "you know he hurt me"

Amanda nodded but didn't say anything.

"I just wanted to help you" she emphasized the you and then added "I wanted to help us have a better life"

Amanda nodded again "I have to go" she told Kim and got up.

"Bye Amanda" Kim said "try to find the lawyer I told you about, maybe he'll do it for free"

Driving back Amanda had to fight the tears. But it was too hard. She stopped the car by the side of the road and stepped out, leaning on the door she tried breathing, telling herself it would be alright but it didn't work. The tears just came streaming down and she didn't fight it. She wasn't sure how long she'd been standing there, the minutes felt like hours. Eventually she got back into the car and drove back home.

She ended up calling Fin, she asked him to meet her. She just had to tell someone and she knew she could trust him, he was always there for her.

They met up at a bar close to her place, she knew they could talk privately there, and she wanted to get out of her apartment.

"What's up?" the last couple of days she seemed a little preoccupied, lost in her thoughts. He had been worried about her, she wasn't willing to talk though so he didn't push, he was pretty sure it wasn't the gambling so he decided to let it go and trust that she would reach out when the time was right, like now.

He sat down next to her and ordered a beer, she already had one in her hand but it was full.

It took sometime until she said anything "they caught Kim" she finally spoke "she's in Rikers"

She looked at him and he nodded, what was he supposed to say? Kim deserved to go to prison, she caused her sister to kill a man. But Fin knew that Amanda loved Kim, so he wasn't about to say something bad about her.

"The trial starts in a couple of days" she continued.

"You gonna testify?" he asked.

"Yeah" she nodded "I went to see her today"

"Oh" he said, again biting his tongue so he wouldn't bad mouth her "You ok?"

She shrugged, it seemed as if she was going to talk but she just shrugged again.

"Listen Amanda" Fin out his hand on her shoulder "whatever you need, I'm here, the whole squad is here for you"

She smiled and he could see she her eyes were a bit moist, but she didn't let the tears fall this time "thank you" she said and took a sip from her beer, Fin did the same and they were quiet for a while.

The next morning she got to the precinct early, she wanted to catch up on some paper work because she wanted to take a few days off for the trial.

Olivia was surprised they didn't know, but realized she shouldn't have expected Tucker to actually share something like that with her. She told Amanda to take as long as she needs.

Nick caught up with her after she left Olivia's office "you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm doing alright" she answered.

He knew her well enough by now to tell she wasn't really alright but decided not to probe about it, no one would be alright in this situation.

"Listen" he said when she started walking back to her desk "do you know if they want me to testify?"

"I don't think so, they have the recording" she answered and he nodded "they would have told you by now but the ADA didn't say anything about you"

"Whatever you need Amanda, don't hesitate" she smiled and thanked him.

There was nothing anyone could do. The ADA made it clear.

She has met the ADA, Joan Belle, a few times before. Amanda knew she was dedicated to her job, she was tough but she was also companionate, she saw the people behind the cases. She agreed to talk to Amanda about the case, but she couldn't say anything that made Amanda feel better.

"Honestly" Joan said "even if she chooses the insanity defense she'd go to some institute"

She looked at Amanda who was quiet "I'm really sorry detective but you can't help her anymore, she's going to prison for a very long time" she tried to keep a soft voice when she said the last part. This was a pretty straight forward case, they had a recorded confession and a public defender who probably wasn't going to pull any rabbits from any hats.

She did feel bad for the detective, Barba had told her good things about her, and what her sister had put her through was tough.

Amanda wasn't a stranger to testifying. She couldn't even remember the number of times she sat at the seat and swore to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. She wasn't going to lie, even though Kim looked so little sitting next to hey lawyer, wearing the uniform. Amanda could see her as a little girl, the little girl she always had to protect, to keep safe, to worry about. The little girl she loved.

And now she was here, on trial for murder, Amanda knew Kim would be found guilty, there was no doubt in her mind about it, but clearly Kim didn't feel this way. Kim actually seemed to be in a good mood.

The ADA's questions were pretty straight forward. She asked her to tell them about that night and Amanda did. She got home from work, heard her sister shouting at someone to get off of her. Jeff was on top of her, he took out his gun and she shot.

Than the ADA asked about the insurance and Amanda answered that she didn't know about it but the second she found out she went to IAB.

Then she had to talk about being arrested for murder.

"Until a recording of the your sister confessing she had planned the whole thing was given to IAB?" Joan asked.

"Yes" Amanda nodded, keeping her eyes away from Kim.

"People's exhibit C" Joan said.

"So after your sister wanted to take out an insurance policy on Mr. Parker because she thought you would kill him if he hurt her?"

"Objection" the public defender said and Kim smiled, Amanda looked at her, something seemed wrong but she couldn't tell what as the ADA rephrased her question.

"You though Mr. Parker was hurting your sister?"

"Yes" Amanda answered.

"And he took out a gun, that's why you shot him?"

"Yes"

"And at the time you had no idea about the insurance policy?"

"No" she shook her head.

"Did you have a grudge against Mr. Parker?" Joan knew the other lawyer would ask about it so she figured it was best to bring it up now.

"I didn't like him"

"Why not?"

"He was a jerk to my sister" she said "he hit her, she had a black eye the day she came to my apartment"

"So when you saw him on top of her you though he came to hurt her?"

"Yes, we took out a restraining order"

"People's exhibit D your honor" she gave Amanda some papers "can you tell us what this is" she requested.

Amanda looked at it even though she already knew "it's a description of the texts she sent him and the calls she made to him"

"How much time had passed before the last one and the time you got home?"

Amanda looked down to check the exact time "less then an hour" she answered. Of course she already knew all that, but it was hard to say it now, knowing it would cause Kim to go to prison for a long time.

Kim looked like she was a bit lost though, she was looking around, smiling to herself. Amanda had a bad feeling again, and now she knew why.

Joan said she had no more questions and the Judge said they'd take a break. She ordered the juries to be taken out.

"Joan" Amanda said quietly, the ADA was at her desk, putting something in her bag.

"Yeah?" she looked at Amanda who seemed unsurprisingly worried.

"I think something is wrong" she said and looked at Kim again "I think she's high"

Joan looked at Kim, she didn't know her so she wasn't sure how a not high Kim looked like "are you sure?" she asked and Amanda nodded.

"Your honor" Joan walked to the judge, catching her just when she was getting up off her seat "I know we're on a break but I have a concern to share, if Ms. Marin would join us" she looked at the public defender who wasn't sure what was happening.

"And it can't wait?" the judge asked.

"I'm afraid not" she said, the public defender joined them and Joan lowered her voice "Ms. Rollins might be under the influence of drugs"

"What?" Catherine Marin asked, she didn't notice anything.

"Why would you say that?" the judge asked.

"Her sister just told me, and from what I've heard Ms. Rollins had used drugs before, and if she…"

While the lawyers were talking to the judge Amanda was looking at Kim, she could see it clearly now. She'd seen her use drugs more than a few times before.

She would seem happy, giggly sometimes, then it felt like she was drifting, as if she was somewhere else, hey eyes would wander around. And sometimes she could be unexpected, get mad and shout for no reason at all, through things, get violent.

The room was mostly empty now, everybody left when the judge announced a break. It was only Amanda, Kim, the lawyers, the judge and two security guards.

Kim looked at her, she smiled at her, and it didn't ease Amanda's worries.

The judge motioned one of the security guards to move closer to Kim and he did as he was told.

Kim looked at him and smiled. She stood up, she wasn't cuffed so the guard took out a pair of handcuffs but he didn't get a chance to even open them as all of the sudden he felt something sharp.

It happened so fast.

While he took the handcuffs out Kim took out a knife that was hidden in her pants. It was a small but very sharp knife. The guard fell down and before anyone could react she had his gun in her hand.

She pointed it the judge "Amanda" she said without looking at her "go stand next to them" she told her and Amanda did exactly that.

She didn't have her gun with her, she left it at the station.

"Get other here" Kim called the other guard "put your gun on the floor or I shoot them" she said.

He slowly took it out and placed it gently on the floor.

"Kick it over here" he did as commanded "you have a gun Amanda?" she asked.

"No Kim" Amanda answered "you shouldn't be doing this I…"

"You always tell me what to do Amanda" she said, walking a little closer to them "stand over there" she told the guard and gestured with the gun at the others.

"You think you know it all" Kim kept on speaking to Amanda.

"Kim please, he still has time" Amanda was talking about the guard who was lying on the floor.

Kim glanced at him for a second, she walked closer to him but kept her eyes on the others. When she stood next to him she looked at him again "just so you know I'm serious" she said and shot.