Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time nor its characters.
She couldn't sleep. They were lying in bed, under the warmth of the duvet she had conjured up with her magic, because nights were chilly among the stone walls of the castle and she wanted, or rather, she needed, a piece of home with her, something comforting in the midst of all that madness.
She could've created an exact copy of the mansion's bedroom but, deep inside, she knew it wouldn't have made the slightest difference. Nothing would be enough to soothe her fears. The moment she tried to close her eyes, darkness would be soon replaced by visions of Robin lying writhing on the ground of the ballroom in a puddle of his own blood or of his lifeless body on the wooden table. Her heart would start beating faster, new waves of panic taking over her every time. So, her eyes would snap open again and she would stare at the man's chest a it rose and fell under the streaks of pale moonlight that filtered through the window.
She was afraid she would eventually wake him up but he needed to rest, so she silently slipped out of bed. Goosebumps formed all over her body the moment she felt the cold air hit her bare skin.
With a wave of her hand, she was fully dressed in a simple dark blue gown that hugged the curves of her upper body perfectly and a matching cloak on top. She didn't bother fixing her tousled hair and let the wavy curls fall loosely over her shoulders. She turned to take one last look at him before disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke.
Robin awoke a while later, when he stretched an arm over to Regina's side of the bed to pull her closer, only to find that space empty and cold.
He searched the room with his eyes but, as he already imagined, she was not there. He hadn't heard her leave, meaning she had probably left the room because she wanted to, not that someone had taken her.
Still, he couldn't rest easy, knowing she was wandering alone in the dead of the night, in a castle in which someone had tried to kill her mere hours earlier.
He dressed quickly and left the room. He walked down the long, torch-lit corridors, checking some of the rooms they had seen – the library, the throne room, the ballroom – but somehow he already knew he wouldn't find her there.
One of the things he had noticed during their time together at her castle was that whenever she needed some room to breathe, think or just relax, she would go down to the garden where her apple tree was. He never inquired about its meaning but it must've been very special to her.
Of course, her tree was not in Camelot but maybe the garden in the courtyard reminded her enough of her own that she had chosen to go there to calm herself.
He had seen the worry, the fear in Regina's eyes when he had been brought back to life. It hadn't faltered as they had made their way back to their bedchamber, as he had made love to her that night and it was still there when he had fallen asleep with her in his arms.
The thoughts stopped swirling through his mind when he spotted her across the courtyard, sitting on the base of the cloister overlooking the lake with her back resting against one of the carved, stone columns.
He walked towards Regina quietly and sat down next to her. He wanted to reach out to rest his hand on top of hers but decided against it, thinking maybe she needed some space.
She was staring at the reflection of the moon on the water and didn't even acknowledge his presence until he spoke.
"Are you alright?"
Regina smiled but it didn't reach her eyes, still fixed on the motionless surface mirroring the night sky.
"I should be the one asking you that."
He could see she was worried and just wished for that to stop. He was fine. They were fine.
"You scared me."
She finally turned to look at him with a quizzical look, prompting him to explain himself.
"I woke up and you were gone. I thought maybe something had happened to you."
"I'm sorry…"
They remained enveloped in a tension-ridden silence for a few minutes before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again to stare blankly ahead of her.
"We should talk…"
"Why do I have a feeling this is not gonna be good?"
Regina ignored his remark, stood up and started pacing slowly back and forth "As I see it, we have two choices…"
"Go on" he urged her when she stopped. Just thinking about the first option had a lump forming in her throat, even if she knew it would be the best thing for Robin and his son.
"We end this thing between us now, before anyone gets hurt again. I can give you a potion to erase your memories and Roland's. It'll be like we never even met."
He stood and grabbed her upper arms a little more forcefully than he meant to, his grip loosening a little after her eyes locked with his.
"How could you ever think I'd agree to something like that?"
He cupped her face with one hand and felt her lean ever so slightly into his touch.
"Someone is always gonna be coming after me and the people I love. If something were to happen to you or Roland, I…"
She broke eye contact when tears started polling in her eyes as images of the previous day's events resurfaced.
"Regina, I'm never going to leave you, no matter what happens. I love you too much."
She sighed in relief and waited a few heartbeats before looking earnestly into his eyes again "Then marry me."
For a moment he thought he had imagined it.
"We don't know what could happen tomorrow and I don't want to live another second in this or any other realm knowing I'm not your wife. Please, Robin, marry me!"
It was a request born out of fear, desperation, he could hear it in her voice as much as he could see it in her eyes. Her cheeks were glistening with tears, which he promptly wiped with his thumbs.
"No."
"What?"
Regina stilled completely and tried to pull away from him but one of his hands found her waist and kept her body close to his while he used the other to tilt her chin upwards so she'd look into his eyes.
"I said no. Regina, I'm not going to marry you like this, just because something may happen to one of us. This is not how I want to do this. Im yours only and forever will be, you know that, but when I propose to you I want it to be magical, romantic, because I want to show you just how much I love you. You deserve that. But that moment is not now, not when you're so worried and upset. I'll marry you when the time is right, if you'll have me…"
She threw her arms around his waist and sobbed against his chest while his hands ran up and down her back soothingly.
"I'm just so scared of losing you…"
"I'm afraid of losing you too" he kissed the top of her head and inhaled her sweet scent "When Percival drew his sword the only thing I could hear was a voice in my head, screaming for me to protect you. Had he harmed you or worse, I don't know what I would've done."
"I should've used magic to stop him" she whispered.
"You were caught off-guard, don't blame yourself."
"I think part of me wanted him to kill me…"
Robin pushed her away, just far enough to look into the depth of her dark brown eyes. She could see shock painted all over his face after hearing her words "Why? Regina…"
Her eyes were brimming with tears but she couldn't look away. His eyes were so caring, so loving and held so much concern, they slowly drew the words out of her mouth.
"I slaughtered his whole village" her voice was shaky, the shame she felt over her past actions coated every word.
"What?"
"When I was hunting down Snow White. None of the villagers would collaborate and tell me where she was, not even under torture. I told my guards to tie them all up and then I set fire to the whole village. I watched them die, listening to their screams as they begged me to stop and spare their lives, but I reveled in their pain…"
Robin didn't interrupt her, knowing there was more, but let her take her time.
"In the midst of that carnage I saw a young boy looking at me from behind a tree. I still remember the pure horror and the fear in his eyes"
"It was Percival"
Regina's eyes fell shut as she nodded in confirmation and felt Robin pull her into his warm embrace.
"I smiled at him. As he watched his world burn in front of him because of me, I smiled at him. What monster does that?"
"Regina, we all know how far you've come since then. You're not that person anymore, you've changed."
"How do you know I won't go back to being that person?" Regina asked, pulling away from him abruptly "You have no idea what it's like inside my head! I feel darkness trying to pull me down every single day."
"Regina, I know you won't go back to being that person."
"How?"
"Because I know you better than anyone. I know what's in your soul."
Robin took a step forward, closing the distance between them, and captured her lips in a searing kiss. She opened her mouth for him, their tongues meeting in a slow dance that only stopped when they broke the kiss because the need for air had become too strong. Their foreheads met and they were silent for a minute. The only sound they could heart was that of their hearts beating in unison.
"I love you, Regina, and I'm here for you. I promise you, I will always be by your side. I know you'll never go back to being the woman you once were but even if darkness manages to get a hold of your heart again, we'll fight it. Together."
A small smile graced Regina's lips at his reassuring words. No matter what happened she wouldn't have to go through it alone.
"Together"