Title: Easter Bunny
Author: phar_ahkmenrah (halfblood alchemist)
Rating: PG for language
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: General season 5
Warnings: Bunny mayhem!
Word Count: 1560
Summary: It's Easter time and what better way to do so then spend it with the Easter bunny… or two.
A/N: This was written awhile back, and i just never posted it on here. Yes i know it's not Easter season yet but I thought you guys might enjoy it. It's a short one, but hopefully you find it cute!
It could have been worse.
In real life, even if they didn't want to think about it, holidays didn't take a break for the apocalypse (to those who were blatantly oblivious to its impending fury). Dean thought it was rather ironic, considering the timing.
It was Easter weekend off the outskirts of Chicago when it happened. Castiel had been sitting in the backseat of the Impala when a sudden sensation, almost like a gale-storm, whipped through the interior of the Impala, engulfing them all.
Cries of "Jesus H. Christ", "What the fuck?" and stunned silence (respectively of course) filled the car as Dean swerved hard on the wet roads. After a few moments of fishtailing, Dean slammed on the brakes and the car came to a screeching halt right in the middle of the (thankfully) empty highway.
Sam looked up from his slightly crouched position in the passenger seat, glancing skittishly over his shoulder at the angel in the back seat before looking up at his brother with a mildly relieved look on his face. "Well that could have been worse."
No sooner had the words escaped his lips, a suddenly clap of thunder and a brilliant light flooded the interior, engulfing all three passengers. The blinding light only lasted a few seconds, and soon petered out, leaving the angel in the back seat blinking and confused. Dean and Sam were both gone.
"Dean? Sam?" Cas queried, looking around with his trademark "doe in the headlights" look. Where in the span of two seconds could two fully grown men disappear to, considering the overly observant angel in the backseat?
It was then he noticed the scratching sounds from in front of him. Cas leaned over and glanced into the front seat, eyebrow cocked confusedly.
There were two rabbits in the place of his friend (and more-than-friend-but-we-don't-talk-about-it-in-public), ears perked up in confusion. One rabbit was much larger than the other, with dark brown fur and overly floppy ears, while the other was small with sandy fur and twitchy ears that stood straight up. The sandy bunny looked up at the confused angel, and cocked its head in retaliation. Floppy Ears simply exhaled loudly, burying its face in its paws.
"Excuse me but… are you who I think you are?" Castiel asked, reaching over the seat and grabbing Sandy Bunny by the scruff. He lifted him eyelevel, staring intently at the little critter in his grasp. Sandy Bunny had nice green eyes…
"Cas I swear, if you don't put me down I'll piss on you, man." The rabbit groused, flailing slightly in his grip. Cas blinked at him, looking down at Floppy Ears and promptly following up with another set of bemused blinking.
"Yeah Cas, it's us…" Floppy Ears (or Sam) replied, lifting his head up and giving the angel a rueful look. Sandy Bunny, or Dean, squirmed in his grip again, kicking his long legs out at Cas, claws extended for attack.
"I mean it, dude. Put me down or I'll claw your pretty blues out!"Dean hissed(?) at his angel. Cas smiled and put Dean down in his lap, looking over the back of the seat at the huge brown rabbit. Sam stood on his hind legs, looking at Cas with woefully brown eyes.
"So now what do we do?" Sam asked, perking a floppy ear curiously.
Cas smiled, pressing a finger to Bunny Dean's head and then to Bunny Sam's, winking them away.
Two days went by, and still no change in status. Winchester brothers: Indefinitely bunny-fied. It didn't come as much of a shock when a tiny brown sparrow fluttered into the motel room Castiel had secured for himself and his "pet long-ears", perching lightly on the back of one of the chairs.
When no one took notice of him right away, the sparrow opened his beak obnoxiously wide and squawked, catching the inhabitants' attention.
"Hello boys! Like the new looks?" The sparrow chirped, preening his wing feathers dutifully. Bunny Dean glared daggers at the brown sparrow, thumping a foot in frustration on the floor of the motel room.
"You got one sick sense of humor, you know that, dickweed?" he spat, his ears pinned to the top of his head in annoyance.
Castiel sighed, holding a finger out for Gabriel to perch on. Once alighted, Castiel looked at him dolefully. "Gabriel, please explain why you decided to turn them into rabbits? I do not understand the purpose of their… current state."
Gabriel chirped, hopping up and down on Cas' finger, wings all aflutter. "Don't you get it? It's EASTER! Everyone loves rabbits on Easter!"
Sam shot the archangel-turned-sparrow a bunny bitch face, his cute, chubby cheeks scrunched up in disapproval. "Seriously, dude. If I start shitting Cadbury Cream eggs and clucking like a chicken, there'll be hell to pay… Literally!"
Gabriel looked completely put out at this, ruffling his feathers with a pout. "All things, considered I SHOULD have turned you both into paschal lambs! That would have been a more fitting form for the two of you!"
Even Castiel understood the implications of that joke, and he glared down at the sparrow alight on his finger. "Gabriel, Dean and Sam will not say yes. Now CHANGE THEM BACK." He finished with a particularly deep growl to his tone. It was enough to put even Dean on edge.
Gabriel raised his wings to the enraged angel, backing off. "Alright, alright! I can't change them back today, it's Easter Sunday. You know that whole "resurrection" business? I'll turn them back tomorrow…"
"You better, feather head, or I swear I'll stuff you and cook you for dinner!" Dean shouted after the sparrow as he flew towards the window.
Watching the brown sparrow spontaneously evaporate into thin air, Castiel turned back to the two rabbits sitting on the bed, and shared with them a very human shrug. "I suppose it could have been worse…"
Castiel sat up on the bed of the motel room with two very sleepy rabbits on either side of him. It was nearing midnight finally, and Cas knew that Gabriel could show up at any time to turn the brothers back to their normal forms. Then it would be the same routine once again; back on the road, dodge Zachariah and his cronies, avoid saying yes, stop the apocalypse. Cas figured the two needed some extra sleep, and in their bunny forms they seemed to really enjoy it.
The angel looked down at the two brothers. He had long since shucked the trench coat, providing it as an extra cushion for the two bunnies, his hands resting obediently in his lap. Suddenly, he felt a slight kick to his hip and he looked down.
Dean was fidgeting, his back leg kicking out repeatedly as he whimpered slightly in his sleep. Cas sighed and reached out to press a soothing finger to the bunny's head, but stopped halfway, changing his mind.
Cas slipped his hands underneath the sandy colored rabbit and lifted him to his chest, cradling the rabbit. Immediately, Dean calmed down and nuzzled into his arms. "Cas… other bed…" Dean mumbled sleepily, his little bunny nose twitching as he took in the scent of the angel.
Cas smiled and stood up, shifting over to the other bed. He reached out and wrapped Sam in the trench coat before turning back and leaning against the other head board, bunny passenger in tow.
Dean curled into his arms, burying his face in the crook of Cas' elbow. "… You tell anyone about this, and I scratch you to death…" he mumbled, shooting an accusing look up at the angel.
Cas smiled, nuzzling him gently. "Of course, Dean…" he said quietly, running his fingers over the soft fur. He leaned his head back against the headboard, waiting for Dean to fall back asleep, but a slight nip to his finger directed his attention back down to the bunny in his lap.
"What, no good night kiss? I'm surprised, Cas…" Dean replied to the curious head tilt, smirking a little rabbit-ish smirk at him.
Cas smiled and leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of Dean's head. "Good night, Dean." He said, holding his partner close to his chest as he drifted off into carrot and booze filled dreams.
It could have been a lot worse, but at this point Dean figured this was about as good as it ever could be… and he was ok with it.
The next morning, Sam woke up very confused and very much human again. He was curious as to why he was wrapped up in Castiel's trench coat, and was even more confused to find his older brother curled up on the chest of a sleeping Cas, his face buried in the slowly rising and falling chest of his angel partner. He opened his mouth to ask what had happened, when he saw Gabriel leaning against the motel table, arms crossed smugly over his chest. A lolly hung from the side of his mouth, archangel sucking happily on the treat.
"Gabe, what the hell happened?" Sam asked, standing up and extracting himself from the trench coat.
Gabriel shrugged his shoulders, shooting Sam a prize-winning smile. "Oh nothing much. You three just had a very… cuddly Easter is all."
When Sam asked about it and how he knew, Gabriel simply shrugged, "preening" his fingernails on the front of his jacket. "A little birdy told me…"