Hey everybody! This is my very first Fan-fiction ever! so take it easy on me! Reviews are appreciated I'd like too know how I did, I'm up for some constructive criticism but please no hate . I hope you all enjoy it! :)

John sat inside his car taking a deep breath and wiping his eyes, ashamed that he had been crying, He hated the fact that he cried so easily, it made him feel weak. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and glanced up at Sherlocks house, His bedroom light was on with meant he was home, that was a good sign. Although knowing Sherlock he could be out somewhere leaving his light on so that his parents didn't get suspicious. He did run away quite often. He began tapping on the small screen before sending his text.

Can I sleep over tonight? Harry and mum are fighting again. JW

The message made a swoosh sound as it send and he rested the phone on his lap thinking back to the fight, Harry had come home drunk again and was starting all kinds of trouble with his mum, he had left in a hurry after yelling at his sister to leave his her alone and Sherlocks house had been his first choice, not that he didn't have other friends, but none of them were quite like Sherlock and Sherlock was probably the only one who would let him stay at such short notice. His phone buzzed and he picked it up, the answer had to be a yes or he would be spending the rest of the night in his car.

Of course, Mycroft is out for the night and I got all of his sweets I hope everything is okay.
-SH

John smiled happily and opened his car door, taking one last look in the mirror making sure it wasn't too noticeable that he had been crying, not that he didn't expect Sherlock not to notice the second he saw him, as he always did, but if he made an attempt to cover it up Sherlock probably wouldn't say anything. He stood outside the door and was about to knock but stopped himself realizing that Sherlocks parents might be asleep.

That's wonderful, everything is fine. I'm actually outside your house at the moment, mind letting me in? JW

John tapped his feet as he stood by the door waiting meanwhile Sherlock sighed and got up from his bed, petting Redbeard before leaving his room and running down the hall as quietly as he could. Once at the door he unlocked it and swung it back quietly, he knew his parents wouldn't mind in the end, and besides, there as no harm being done right?

"Nice heads up." He teased with a small grin stepping back so John could get inside. John laughed

"I was a little low on options" he said as he walked through the front door smiling, glad to be away from all of the stress of his home life and also just glad to be with Sherlock,

"Are your parents alright with me staying over?" John asked just checking, knowing how much Sherlock would do things without permission. Sherlock only grinned before making his way towards his room, giving a small shrug of his shoulders.

"I don't see why they'd have a problem with it. Mycroft is at his girlfriends house for the night, so in return it'd be fine if I had you over. You're one of my few friends so I'm sure mum will be excited you're here." He explained, opening his door and jumping onto his bed, John nodded as he followed Sherlock up the stairs,

"Oh you've got 'a few' friends now? I thought I was the one and only" he said smirking as they walked Sherlock rolled his eyes and shoved John playfully.

"Oh shush, my other two are Redbeard and maybe Victor since he moved." He muttered before rolling onto his back so John had more room, looking at him before sitting up.

"Want to talk about the fighting again or drop it?" Sherlock asked, knowing that John was emotional unlike other boys their age, and that he had been crying just moments before he arrived also that and he did worry for his sister with her habits that both of them knew about. John took a seat on the side of the bed swinging his feet of the edge as Sherlock asked him about the fight "I'm not sure-" he confessed folding his hands on his lap looking down at the ground

"Not right now I guess, but maybe later" He paused looking up at Sherlock

"I just want to get my mind off of it right now, you mentioned Mycorft's sweets?" He then asked grinning at the other boy

"I think I can arrange that." Sherlock chuckled before leaning over his bed and pulling up a large bag that was filled with different candies.

"Yep! He's going to be so mad! Help me hide it when we're done?" He asked hopefully. He loved hiding things with John, on the account of Mycroft never suspected it, and he himself would never think of some of the places John suggested.

"Of course" John said digging through the bag,

"What do you think we should do? its Saturday tomorrow so we won't have to be up early for school or anything" John asked once he had found the candy's that he liked best. he enjoyed spending time with Sherlock it was always more exciting than his normal life and even with the other kids at their school bullying him for talking to the 'freak' it was always worth it in the end of the day. Sherlock picked up a piece of candy at random and ate it, honestly fine with anything right then. He mulled over the question for a minute before shrugging.

"I don't know, whatever you want to do I guess." He said honestly. Ever since he became friends with John his life was much less lonelier, and now he had some protection from the bullies. He was truly thankful that John didn't find him a 'freak' at all, especially when his old friend had moved a few years ago. He leaned on John and went for another piece of candy. "You decide. You're the smart one," He said with a small smirk, licking a cherry flavored lollipop,

"use that mind thingy of yours" he then added mocking Sherlock by placing his fingers on his temples and scrunching up his face while holding the lollipop between his lips. Sherlock laughed and watched John's face, rolling his eyes before placing the chocolate in his mouth. He playfully shoved John again before sighing.

"I suppose we could go out tomorrow and to the park maybe for an experiment" He pointed out before moving and laying his head on John's lap in boredom. Johns eyes widened slightly once Sherlocks head landed on him he raised his eyebrows looking down at him

"Sherlock? what are you doing?" He asked trying to hold back a smile, He had always had such a big crush on the boy and was deadly afraid that Sherlock knew it, how could he not? he sees everything John thought to himself, but no Sherlock being Sherlock would have said something if he did.

"if you're bored we could always leave the house and go to the 24 hour pizza place down the street" John suggested hoping Sherlock would lift his head soon just in case he became hard, he would never be able to even look at him if that happened, he cheeks were turning red thinking about it. However Sherlock was comfortable in John's lap really, even if John felt a bit awkward. In all reality, he knew about the crush on him and gave subtle hints that he felt the same way. Truthfully he wasn't sure if they were right or wrong since he knew that he was not the best at showing his emotions, but he tried and that was a good thing for him. When Sherlock didn't move right away, John pushed his head off in a playful like manner standing up from the bed Sherlock gave a small pout that could not be seen, pushing himself up and looking at the other.

"We could." He muttered a bit dejectedly. Was he reading John wrong? He usually didn't and he was almost positive John had fancied him. Maybe he needed to make more subtle hints. John nodded

"lets go then shall we?" He smiled brightly at the brunette and grabbed his rugby team jacket from his bag putting it on

"I've got some money for pizza" he said grabbing about 20 pounds from his bag

"when we come back we can watch a movie or something if you'd like" John added as he cleaned up some of the candy wrappers Sherlock nodded and got off his bed, grabbing his jacket and slipping on his shoes before taking the bag and hiding it from Redbeard while John cleaned up the wrappers.

"Movies are boring... But we could if something you liked is on." He offered, and made sure his room was clean before pocketing his phone in case Mycroft texted or his parents awoke to him gone -which would not have been the first time- and wondered where he was. He went to his desk and grabbed 15 pounds himself in case they needed it or decided to go somewhere else after pizza.

"Ready?" He asked, a small smile forming on his face again.

"Ready" John assured him giving a small nod

"and its alright about the movie, I guess I forgot you were too smart for that sort of thing" John said shoving Sherlock playfully before opening the door and heading down the stairs, John tried to be as quite as he could knowing that Sherlocks parents didn't know he was here. Laughing, Sherlock returned the shove but turned off his light and shut his bedroom door, following John down the steps and towards the door. He shut it behind him, making sure it was locked and that he had his keys, thankfully he did. they walked outside and john took in a deep breath of the fresh spring air it had been a long winter but was starting to warm up now

"we can take my car or we can walk, your call" John said thinking it would be nicer to walk but wanting it to be Sherlocks choice considering that even with it being much warmer it was still mildly cold out, Sherlock liked the night, and with it being somewhat warm out it was nice. He held his jacket close to him before shaking his head.

"No, walking is fun and not many people are out so it isn't too crowded." He answered, moving to shove his hands into his pockets since he couldn't exactly hold John's hand. First of all, that would be going far to fast and second if he was reading the signs wrong then he wasn't going to blatantly jeopardize their friendship over an action. So when they started walking, he made sure that he was walking close to John.

"Alright great then" He said trying his best to act casual around him, Sherlock was walking extremely close to him and it was making him nervous, they didn't say anything for a while, both probably afraid to wreck the peace that came from the cool silent night. Sherlock liked the silence, it was comfortable in a way and so far walking with John and feeling his warmth right next to him made him feel relaxed. He enjoyed the smile, his own widening just a little as they walked. They made their way closer to the pizzeria and John decided to try and start a conversation

"So-" he started imminently wishing he hadn't as his mind was now blank, He and Sherlock had talked so much over time that it had become hard to think of things to say that Sherlock didn't already know,

"-How are things with you" he said mentally kicking himself for sounding so stupid Sherlock glanced at John when he started talking, raising an eyebrow before chuckling at the cliche question, but finding it cute as well.

"Thing's are fine as you know, considering we just talked during school hours." He mused with a playful nudge to feeling rather passive over the question. Usually had it been someone else he would have made a smart remark and went about his day.

"I'd be silly of me to ask you the same, so I'll ask a different one. How are you and Mary doing?" He asked, knowing that the two were in a relationship for a bit, but for a while he hadn't heard anything about them. John looked down at his feet as they walked, He hadn't told Sherlock about the break up yet, nor did he really want to considering the reason it happened was because he realized that he was in love with him, he thought back to how it had happened he told Mary that he liked someone else and that he was sorry, she had taken it rather well and just smiled and told him that Sherlock was a lucky man he remembered blushing at the comment but not denying it, but he also remembered hearing Mary start to cry as she walked away and feeling that guilty feeling that he was having again now, he took in a deep breath

"We uh-" he started looking back up to Sherlock for a moment then to the sidewalk

"we broke up some time ago" he sighed

"I told her I fancied someone else" he closed his eyes for a quick moment wishing he hadn't said that last part, now Sherlock would want to know who the other person was and knowing Sherlock it wouldn't be long when John finished talking Sherlock thought it was a perfect opportunity to tell him that he liked him, it was possible that he was the other person he fancied. Right when he was planning to tell him, John spoke out again and it made his heart ache like never before.

"Molly!"

John said quickly

"Molly hopper, she is the other girl" John lied it would be easier this way he told himself, he hated lying especially to Sherlock but he wasn't about to admit that he loved him. Molly? He liked Molly? Sherlock thought. He figured the whole idea of him being loved by John was rubbish to begin with. He was positive one of his heart strings broke right then. Gosh he was such an idiot! How could he have not seen it?! John obviously was constantly thinking about her and not him He felt like crawling into a hole and dying right there. He distanced himself just a bit, making sure it wouldn't be noticed by John and kept up his content face. He needed to, hell, if John found out now it'd be the end of their friendship and he'd be a freak to everyone.

"Really? I hope everything works out for you then..." He spoke truthfully, though trying his best to stay happy but there was something in Sherlocks voice when he wished him luck, John couldn't quite place it but it sounded hurt almost heart broken? No. john thought again Sherlock doesn't like you he doesn't like anyone that's just how it is and you are going to have to get over it sooner or later, John turned to look at Sherlock noticing a small change in the closeness between them he couldn't help himself from asking, knowing that whatever the answer was it was going to break his heart

"so is there anyone special in your life at the moment?" he spoke calmly keeping his emotions in check as he did, his mind was screaming at him to just tell Sherlock how he felt, that he loved him more than he had ever loved another human in his life, that when he was around him he felt like anything was possible and that just the though of spending time with him was enough to get him trough a hard time. but no. instead he stayed quite waiting for an answer to a question he didn't even want to ask. Sherlock didn't understand why John looked at him, he played that off rather well for a man who's heart was essentially broken into pieces. He felt that broken organ lurch at the question, scoffing before shaking his head. He wanted to tell him, it hurt that he couldn't, but he couldn't loose John.

"I did... but I realized it would never work out. They like someone else and it was foolish of me to think they didn't... Just have to get over it." He said a bit bitterly, but what was there to expect? He wasn't going to start crying over it, but he was rather angry to say the least. John just nodded at Sherlocks statement he had to admit he was curios on who the other person was but decided it wasn't the time, They made it to the pizzeria not long after, and Sherlock was the one to open the door for both of them politely, trying to play it off that everything was fine. John said thanks just before walking up to the counter and ordering, they took their seats across from one another and John gave a fake smile,

"So whats this about Mycroft having a girlfriend?" John asked both curios and desperate to change the subject Sherlock noticed that John's smile wasn't genuine he didn't however understand why it was fake, what did John feel upset about that he needed to fake smile at his friend? Or was he not even that anymore? He tried to push that thought out of his head as fast as it came, shrugging his shoulders.

"Mycroft and some girl are together, have been for a couple of weeks now." He muttered. He envied Mycroft, how could he get the person he fancied when his wanted someone else? It wasn't fair, and honestly he wished it was.

"Right now they're either shagging or watching some silly movie together and getting fatter by the minute by eating sweets and such." He added before looking around the pizzeria, he didn't want to look at John, it just hurt too much. John offered a small fake laugh

"Well I wish I could say I wasn't the least bit jealous" John said looking at Sherlock wondering why he was avoiding eye contact with him

"You don't really like movies anyway" John added then widened his eyes blushing realizing what he'd just said, praying that Sherlock didn't notice however it was a long shot considering Sherlock notices everything, one of the workers called Johns name and he got up to fetch their pizza happy for an excuse to leave the table, he would imminently change the topic once he returned. Sherlocks head snapped over to John when he made the comment, his breath catching in his throat. He watched as John eagerly went to get their pizza. He didn't want to rebuild his hope on that simple phrase, but why else would John's eyes be wide and his face flushed like so? 'No Sherlock, he doesn't like you, he prefers Molly over you.' He told himself, sighing before getting toothpicks and effectively breaking them one by one. He didn't want to start a fit in the middle of the pizzeria and get them kicked out, but it was hard. He did want to know what that was about however, maybe he'd ask once he got back. John paid the pizza man and took the pizza taking his time before returning to his seat, he sat down and looked at Sherlock then at the scattered broken toothpicks on the table and raised an eyebrow at him

"What's that about?" Sherlock didn't even glance up when John had sat down, shrugging his shoulders before breaking one more toothpick and setting it with the rest onto the table.

"Nothing important really... What was that comment about?" He blatantly asked, not trying to beat around the bushes or give hints anymore. He was at his limit and obviously holding it all in was not doing him well. Sherlock was obviously upset about something and wasn't telling him, John was about to say something more when Sherlock spoke, Johns eyes widened again and he felt the blush return to his cheeks just being thankful that Sherlock wasn't looking

"comment?" John asked rubbing the back of his neck, of course he knew what Sherlock was talking about but he was still sticking to that little string of hope that he meant something else as he shifted in his seat trying his best not to come off as nervous Sherlock rolled his eyes and snapped his head up, looking at John intently.

"Yes comment, the one you made about me not liking movies after mentioning you were jealous of Mycroft and his girlfriend. Why say something like that?" He asked, starting out a bit rude but sounding hurt at the end. He absolutely hated that John was trying to avoid the topic but it would need to be brought up. 'Shit' John thought when he started talking about his comment then he noticed the pain in Sherlocks voice as looked up at him confused, when he spoke again John just froze.

"John, I need to know. Do you harbor feelings for me that go past a friend?" He asked seriously, staring right at him. He needed to know if he was just wasting his time or if he had a chance. What? what the bloody hell did Sherlock mean by asking that? and why did he look so hopeful? was it possible that the feelings were the same? No. No way do not get your hopes up John he blinked unable to form the right words, dam why did he have to love this boy 'the answer is YES' his inner voice screamed but he pushed it away

"I-er uh w-why are you asking me this?" he meant for it to come out casual but instead it came out like a kid who had just been accused stealing a cookie. Sherlock stared at John, he ignored the look of confusion and tried to read John like he had when he first saw him, but with him just being so everywhere he wasn't sure. His look seemed to stiffen at the question but he relaxed a bit.

"Fine, it's clear you do not feel the same. I'll go ahead and head back to my place if you still want to spend the night. Sorry." He muttered with absolutely no emotion, getting up from his seat and briskly leaving. Obviously with his dodging of questions and the tone he didn't, he was probably appalled by the fact he was accused of such a thing. He had set himself up on that one, instant heart break one more time. John sat for a moment still not exactly sure what was going on,

"feel the same way?" John said to himself out loud his mind was racing and he was having trouble thinking straight This meant Sherlock fancied him right? what else could it mean, he stood up knowing he had to act fast deciding it was better to not over think it, he ran to Sherlock who had just made it to the door and quickly acting on impulse pushed him against the wall and kissed him reliving all that tension that had been building Sherlock honestly did not expect John to come after him, nor did he expect to be pushed up against the wall so quickly then kissed just as quick. However instead of thinking about it, he kissed back with as much passion as he could, reaching out and grabbing a tight hold onto John's rugby jacket, making sure he wouldn't just leave after this. He wasn't sure what this meant, but he was happy he was finally kissing the damn idiot. Maybe he did have hope with the rugby player. It sure felt like it as he was pinned against the wall, but he didn't mind it, enjoying it for as long as it could last. John smiled into the kiss as he felt Sherlock kiss him back, but pulled away when air was more than needed, he rested his head on the other boys smiling as he caught his breath

"Excuse me" There was a sound of someone clearing his throat and Johns head shot up and he turned to see one of the workers of the pizzeria glaring at them.

"I'm going to have to ask you boys to leave" he said crossing his arms John nodded but he couldn't stop smiling Sherlock smiled after the kiss ended, taking in a deep breath and feeling his whole body tingle when John rested his head on his own. However at the voice his eyes opened, and he returned the glare ten fold at the workers. Ready to say something quick witted,

"Right we're sorry" John said before Sherlock had the chance as he and Sherlock hurried out of the building John had pulled him out. He sighed but moved from holding onto the front to the sleeve of John's jacket, blushing just a little after realizing he had a smile on the entire time. He gave a small chuckle when they were far enough, hesitantly moving to hold his hand instead.

"I'm rather surprised... and I promise I'll pay you back for that pizza we never ate." He chuckled,

"Don't bother" John said laughing as he took Sherlocks hand in his, he still couldn't stop smiling he had been dreaming of this for so long and now that it was here he could barely tell if it was real or not. They walked their way back to Sherlocks house in silence and once they arrived John started to speak

"I'm sorry if the kiss came out of nowhere" he said blushing as he looks at his feet

"just wondering, I am still welcome to stay the night right?" he added with a small laugh Sherlock smiled and spoke a reply

"Always".

Yeah I'm sorry that ending was trash, but I honestly couldn't think of anything clever. Anyways I hope that everyone who read this got some happiness from it :) reviews are nice! :)