Title: Walk the Sacred Path
Rating: PG
Summary: After all things, what happens? Is
there love, hate, ideals, conception? Is there
the realization of something more? A story of
actions and thoughts where words cannot describe.
Endorse: Show and characters belong to Fox, CC,
and 1013. The story is mine. Please send
feedback, as I love any and all things you send.
At least I know you read it. Please archive, just
ask me, make sure to attach my name and so forth.
Want to know where it's going.
xtrekangel@hotmail.com Listen to Powder Blue by
Elbow, it really goes with the story. It brings
out the emotion.
She woke up confused. Rubbing her eyes she
remembered she was in Mulder's apartment. Laying
her head back against the couch she watched the
shadows play against the wall. The day's behind
her resurfacing in a manifestation of dreams that
played themselves out against her will, though the
outcome of those dreams was...... was...... She
needed to leave, she had to get away before he
woke. If she got away, then maybe he would
forget. Well, at least he wont say anything that
might lead to further discussion down a path both
were not ready to travel, or just not yet
accepting that it is their path to travel. She
walked to the bathroom, fixing her hair. Really,
deep down she was stalling. Maybe he would wake
up. But no, she has to leave. Walking over to
his bed she grabs her coat, and glances briefly at
him. To long of a glance might prove her undoing.
Willing her feet to move she makes it out of his
apartment. As she closes the door behind her she
leans against it as if exhausted, no in regret for
what she realized the other day was something she
had repressed over the years. Not really
repressed, but tried to repress. She knew what
she wanted, and that was where her path leads to.
But how would she get to that path? And when will
she get there?
Exhausted, she flopped on her couch. Not caring
at the moment about changing. She did not turn on
any lights, preferring the solitude of the
darkness. But she wanted to hear something
besides her own thoughts. Grabbing her remote for
her stereo, she turned it on, the volume low, and
played the 3rd cd, track 8.
I am ready for love,
All of the joy and the pain,
This song might make her cry, but she wont. To
think, seven years without a relationship, except
as a friend to Mulder. No love had, lost, but
love longed for, dreamed of, and realized. Love
from a startlingly close proximity, to be reached
for, but never actually grab hold of. Do people
really live like this? Or this yet another way to
torture them? She's seen it in his eyes as well,
the silent longing. She knows he has some
feelings for her, just by his actions. But
they've both been in denial, making up excuses for
not revealing the one secret they always kept to
themselves, never to reveal. Never until they
realize it without words, now, for awhile, for
years. But she feels it is too soon now, maybe
soon, hopefully soon. She prays it's soon. Then
they can step out of the darkness of their own
hearts and embrace the light.
He woke up, and laid there, listening. 'Is she
still here?' Probably not. He can't hear a
thing. Throwing the sheets off, he swings his
legs over the side of the bed. He didn't really
expect her to stay. She wouldn't allow herself
too. Damn her and her ....her.... He sighed and
walked out of his room, looking at the couch. She
had folded the blanket neatly. That's so like
her. But, what did he expect from her? Was she
supposed to stay? What would have happened then?
Well, there's nothing to be done about it now. He
can only hope...... He walked back to his room
and sprawled back on the bed. He wanted something
from her that she wasn't willing to give up. Her
heart.
She realized she wanted something more than what
she had. Not just relationship wise, but the
possibility of a child. She realized she wanted a
child, no she had realized that when she lost the
possibility, she dreamed of having a child. A
tiny life to care for and hold. She knew who's
child she wanted it to be, but that wasn't really
a possibility was it. Well, maybe some how.
The basement seemed colder to her than usual.
Maybe it was just the nervousness, the
anticipation. She was afraid of what he would
say, or wouldn't say. She looked at the poster on
the wall. I want to Believe. And she did want
that, but not the belief in aliens, the belief
that one day you can find the one person you love
and spend the rest of your life loving them, being
with them, holding them. And hadn't they done
just that? The one thing that would make them
something more, was the one thing they had yet to
grapple with. She paced back and forth a few
times before sitting down in her chair. The
consequences of her quest ran over and over
through her head. Then she realized she couldn't
do it. Not there, not now, she had to wait. As
she stood up to leave he came in, and she stopped
and smiled at him. A smile of longing and regret.
He begins to tell her about his meeting with
Skinner, but she does not listen. She only stands
there looking into his eyes, lost to thought. "I
need to talk to you later." She says, ignoring
his words. Then slowly she walks off. Leaving
him baffled and confused.
They stand there in her apartment. She is
telling him her idea. He is amazed by the fact
that she has asked him to do this. He doesn't
want this to come between them, but she knows it
won't. She tells him what has to happen, the
probability of success. He is happy for her to
have this opportunity. He amazes her all the
time. This moment he is being selfless, but maybe
he wants this almost as much as she does. She
wishes that she could tell him her love for him.
The love which she had bottled up and held tight
with a cork. What will happen between them now?
They cant stay the same any more. Either they
will get closer, or further apart. But they will
not remain the same.
Slowly she pushes the door open. He stands from
his sitting position on the couch. He knows
before she says anything, he can see it in her
eyes. The pain is seeping through. She attempts
to tell him the bad news. It's hard for her to
get the words out. It didn't work. They both
wanted it to work, but it failed. He tries to
console her, and holds her close to his body.
Finally her tears are shed at the same moment rain
begins to tap against the window. God cries for
them. They share their pain together. She wishes
she could give him what any man deserves, a child.
But she cannot, and it hurts her deep in her soul.
She can feel his love generating through his body,
transferring over to her. He tells her not to
give up, but she has too. It wasn't meant to be.
He wants to make her pain go away, she can see it
in his eyes. She wants to be with him, and him to
be with her. She wants to be more than friends.
She needs his undying love. She has been lonely
for far too long. Looking into his eyes she can
see a glint of a tear. Then she knows she has
tell him. In this moment of sadness and grief for
what cannot be, there is the chance of what can
be. She needs to tell him. He goes to get her a
drink but she stops him with one word. She looks
down at her feet. It's hard to do this. He wants
to know what's on her mind. Finally she looks at
him, and grabs his face between her trembling
hands. 'I love you.' She whispers, almost
painfully so. He closes his eyes a moment, then
smiles down at her. 'I love you too.' He
whispers. They stand there, for a lifetime, for
eternity. Drowning in their words. Then she
pulls him down and kisses him, as lovers kiss.
Electricity fills her body, and pours out from
every pore. She wants more from him, but he wants
to stop. He doesn't want to take advantage of
her. She doesn't care. She continues to kiss
him, and he gives in. Then they became lovers,
moving beyond the realm of friendship alone. That
night she became whole again.
Through heavy tears she tells Skinner the news,
after he has delivered news of his own. She isn't
sure if she should be happy or sad. A miracle,
and a loss, all in the same day. Her friend and
lover had been taken from her, yet she was given
the miracle of carrying his child. She can taste
the salt of her mixed tears. The tears of utter
joy, and tears of pain, for part of her had been
ripped out. She should have known sooner, the
signs were all there. She wished she had known,
she wished she could have told him. She just
wished she could have him back. She wanted that
love she had a chance to feel for a few brief
moments in time. Insignificant to some, sacred to
her. She can only hope he comes back soon, safe,
before their child is born. He deserves that
much. She deserves that much. It is not time to
grieve yet. She is going to find him, she has to
find him. He will be found. And together they
will walk the path God had chosen for them,
together they will live.
Rating: PG
Summary: After all things, what happens? Is
there love, hate, ideals, conception? Is there
the realization of something more? A story of
actions and thoughts where words cannot describe.
Endorse: Show and characters belong to Fox, CC,
and 1013. The story is mine. Please send
feedback, as I love any and all things you send.
At least I know you read it. Please archive, just
ask me, make sure to attach my name and so forth.
Want to know where it's going.
xtrekangel@hotmail.com Listen to Powder Blue by
Elbow, it really goes with the story. It brings
out the emotion.
She woke up confused. Rubbing her eyes she
remembered she was in Mulder's apartment. Laying
her head back against the couch she watched the
shadows play against the wall. The day's behind
her resurfacing in a manifestation of dreams that
played themselves out against her will, though the
outcome of those dreams was...... was...... She
needed to leave, she had to get away before he
woke. If she got away, then maybe he would
forget. Well, at least he wont say anything that
might lead to further discussion down a path both
were not ready to travel, or just not yet
accepting that it is their path to travel. She
walked to the bathroom, fixing her hair. Really,
deep down she was stalling. Maybe he would wake
up. But no, she has to leave. Walking over to
his bed she grabs her coat, and glances briefly at
him. To long of a glance might prove her undoing.
Willing her feet to move she makes it out of his
apartment. As she closes the door behind her she
leans against it as if exhausted, no in regret for
what she realized the other day was something she
had repressed over the years. Not really
repressed, but tried to repress. She knew what
she wanted, and that was where her path leads to.
But how would she get to that path? And when will
she get there?
Exhausted, she flopped on her couch. Not caring
at the moment about changing. She did not turn on
any lights, preferring the solitude of the
darkness. But she wanted to hear something
besides her own thoughts. Grabbing her remote for
her stereo, she turned it on, the volume low, and
played the 3rd cd, track 8.
I am ready for love,
All of the joy and the pain,
This song might make her cry, but she wont. To
think, seven years without a relationship, except
as a friend to Mulder. No love had, lost, but
love longed for, dreamed of, and realized. Love
from a startlingly close proximity, to be reached
for, but never actually grab hold of. Do people
really live like this? Or this yet another way to
torture them? She's seen it in his eyes as well,
the silent longing. She knows he has some
feelings for her, just by his actions. But
they've both been in denial, making up excuses for
not revealing the one secret they always kept to
themselves, never to reveal. Never until they
realize it without words, now, for awhile, for
years. But she feels it is too soon now, maybe
soon, hopefully soon. She prays it's soon. Then
they can step out of the darkness of their own
hearts and embrace the light.
He woke up, and laid there, listening. 'Is she
still here?' Probably not. He can't hear a
thing. Throwing the sheets off, he swings his
legs over the side of the bed. He didn't really
expect her to stay. She wouldn't allow herself
too. Damn her and her ....her.... He sighed and
walked out of his room, looking at the couch. She
had folded the blanket neatly. That's so like
her. But, what did he expect from her? Was she
supposed to stay? What would have happened then?
Well, there's nothing to be done about it now. He
can only hope...... He walked back to his room
and sprawled back on the bed. He wanted something
from her that she wasn't willing to give up. Her
heart.
She realized she wanted something more than what
she had. Not just relationship wise, but the
possibility of a child. She realized she wanted a
child, no she had realized that when she lost the
possibility, she dreamed of having a child. A
tiny life to care for and hold. She knew who's
child she wanted it to be, but that wasn't really
a possibility was it. Well, maybe some how.
The basement seemed colder to her than usual.
Maybe it was just the nervousness, the
anticipation. She was afraid of what he would
say, or wouldn't say. She looked at the poster on
the wall. I want to Believe. And she did want
that, but not the belief in aliens, the belief
that one day you can find the one person you love
and spend the rest of your life loving them, being
with them, holding them. And hadn't they done
just that? The one thing that would make them
something more, was the one thing they had yet to
grapple with. She paced back and forth a few
times before sitting down in her chair. The
consequences of her quest ran over and over
through her head. Then she realized she couldn't
do it. Not there, not now, she had to wait. As
she stood up to leave he came in, and she stopped
and smiled at him. A smile of longing and regret.
He begins to tell her about his meeting with
Skinner, but she does not listen. She only stands
there looking into his eyes, lost to thought. "I
need to talk to you later." She says, ignoring
his words. Then slowly she walks off. Leaving
him baffled and confused.
They stand there in her apartment. She is
telling him her idea. He is amazed by the fact
that she has asked him to do this. He doesn't
want this to come between them, but she knows it
won't. She tells him what has to happen, the
probability of success. He is happy for her to
have this opportunity. He amazes her all the
time. This moment he is being selfless, but maybe
he wants this almost as much as she does. She
wishes that she could tell him her love for him.
The love which she had bottled up and held tight
with a cork. What will happen between them now?
They cant stay the same any more. Either they
will get closer, or further apart. But they will
not remain the same.
Slowly she pushes the door open. He stands from
his sitting position on the couch. He knows
before she says anything, he can see it in her
eyes. The pain is seeping through. She attempts
to tell him the bad news. It's hard for her to
get the words out. It didn't work. They both
wanted it to work, but it failed. He tries to
console her, and holds her close to his body.
Finally her tears are shed at the same moment rain
begins to tap against the window. God cries for
them. They share their pain together. She wishes
she could give him what any man deserves, a child.
But she cannot, and it hurts her deep in her soul.
She can feel his love generating through his body,
transferring over to her. He tells her not to
give up, but she has too. It wasn't meant to be.
He wants to make her pain go away, she can see it
in his eyes. She wants to be with him, and him to
be with her. She wants to be more than friends.
She needs his undying love. She has been lonely
for far too long. Looking into his eyes she can
see a glint of a tear. Then she knows she has
tell him. In this moment of sadness and grief for
what cannot be, there is the chance of what can
be. She needs to tell him. He goes to get her a
drink but she stops him with one word. She looks
down at her feet. It's hard to do this. He wants
to know what's on her mind. Finally she looks at
him, and grabs his face between her trembling
hands. 'I love you.' She whispers, almost
painfully so. He closes his eyes a moment, then
smiles down at her. 'I love you too.' He
whispers. They stand there, for a lifetime, for
eternity. Drowning in their words. Then she
pulls him down and kisses him, as lovers kiss.
Electricity fills her body, and pours out from
every pore. She wants more from him, but he wants
to stop. He doesn't want to take advantage of
her. She doesn't care. She continues to kiss
him, and he gives in. Then they became lovers,
moving beyond the realm of friendship alone. That
night she became whole again.
Through heavy tears she tells Skinner the news,
after he has delivered news of his own. She isn't
sure if she should be happy or sad. A miracle,
and a loss, all in the same day. Her friend and
lover had been taken from her, yet she was given
the miracle of carrying his child. She can taste
the salt of her mixed tears. The tears of utter
joy, and tears of pain, for part of her had been
ripped out. She should have known sooner, the
signs were all there. She wished she had known,
she wished she could have told him. She just
wished she could have him back. She wanted that
love she had a chance to feel for a few brief
moments in time. Insignificant to some, sacred to
her. She can only hope he comes back soon, safe,
before their child is born. He deserves that
much. She deserves that much. It is not time to
grieve yet. She is going to find him, she has to
find him. He will be found. And together they
will walk the path God had chosen for them,
together they will live.