I look up as someone bangs through the door, putting down Queen of the damned to see who it is. I turn around the corner and let out a bloodcurdling scream. Sitting on my bed is Edward freaking Cullen. He smiles at me, his skin sparkling lightly in the light.

"Do I dazzle you?" he purrs, crossing his legs daintily. I stand there, my mouth hanging open. Finally regaining my wits, I scream:

"Get the hell out of my house!" I pull out my pocketknife, holding it in front of me.

"Don't you love me? I have million of fan girls, and I chose you, love."

"Yeah, well, to bad I'm not one of your groupies." I yell, "I'm theirs" I snap my fingers, pointing to the corner.

"Damn freak." growls Alucard, pulling out his Jackal.

"She's ours!" hiss Louis and Lestat, barring their fangs.

A 'shlick' is heard as Altair's hidden blade is released, "I suggest you leave, before your my next victim."

Raizo twirls his kusurigama menacingly, "This is something I won't forgive" he says, deathly quiet.

"I've killed zombies, it shouldn't be to hard to kill you Sparkles." says Leon S Kennedy, holding an M-9.

Soap Mactavish bounces a grenade, "You don't want to mess with this lady" he grins.

"I will have my revenge!" shouts Kratos, eyes burning.

"Sick 'um boys" I shout, closing my eyes as I hear Sparkly-pants get ripped to shreds. I hear a muffled 'boom' as Soap throws his grenade, and the singing of Altair's throwing knives. I turn to Halt, Fang, Dean and Michael, wondering why they haven't joined.

"We're burning the pieces" says Dean Winchester, holding a flickering match. Michael grins, showing off his vampire fangs. Halt merely gives a gruff nod, followed by a short 'yes' from Fang.

"Okay then" I say, "Marshmallow roast in my backyard!" I shout, rushing out the backdoor. Legolas carries the pieces, frowning as sparkles fly in his face.

And so, the bane of all known as Edward Cullen was finally exterminated, reduced to ashes under our marshmallow roast.

Characters:

Alucard from Hellsing

Louis and Lestat from the Vampire Chronicles

Altair from Assassin's Creed

Raizo from Ninja Assassin

Leon S. Kennedy from Resident Evil 4, the game

Soap Mactavish from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

Kratos from God of War

Halt from Ranger's Apprentice

Fang from Maximum Ride

Dean Winchester from Supernatural

Michael Corvin from Underworld

Legolas from Lord of the Rings