May 2009:
Clarke ran out of the building when she finished her last final, jumping the stairs and collided into Bellamy, slamming her lips against his. "Thank fucking God!" she smiled, pulling back. "That was grueling! I don't think I could have passed that Greek and Roman mythology class without you!"
"Clarke," he said, and the somber look on his face sobered her right up, and she knew what he was going to say. It's always what he was going to say, he's charming and charismatic, they were bound to fall in love with him even over a Skype interview.
"No. No, don't—don't say it. Could we just have tonight with our friends? Monty and Jasper made apple pie moonshine, I know you like that."
"I can't."
"You leave tomorrow? This isn't fair, we can't even have a day to say goodbye?"
"You know I want this! You know I've worked hard and spent every spare moment of my life working towards this! It's my one shot."
"What about Octavia?"
"She's coming with me, she's packing our apartment right now."
"What about her schooling?"
"She applied to schools over there months ago, she prepared for this."
"She prepared… how—how long have you known?"
Bellamy shook his head, "Clarke…"
"How fucking long, Bellamy?" she pushed him, and he faltered back, looking around at the crowd forming around them.
Now she was making a scene, making an ass out of the both of them, but she didn't care! She knows he's known for a while, how couldn't he have known for his sister to apply to college in Greece!
"Don't you all have finals to get to?" he yelled at them, before looking back at Clarke. "I found out just before finals, and they gave me until O's graduation, but something happened, someone walked out, and they needed me there yesterday. I managed to get a week out of them, to say goodbye."
Clarke managed to hold back her tears for this long, but she couldn't anymore and she'll be ugly crying at any moment. "I love you."
Bellamy pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. He kissed the crown of her head, "I love you too. You know I don't want this to be the end."
"It's—it's what we agreed on."
"We were kids," he sighed and Clarke knew he hated that this was goodbye just as much as she did.
"We still are."
"Will you come over tonight? O's going to Gaia's for the night, it'll be just us."
"When's your flight?"
"Tomorrow night, I'd rather sleep on the flight then be uncomfortable awake, you know how grumpy I am on planes."
"Yeah," she smiled. "You're the worst. Do you need me to take you to the airport?"
"Miller wants to. We're taking all my crap to the post office to ship on the way, I don't think there's going to be room in his car for anyone else unfortunately."
Clarke grimaced but nodded. "I'll see the gang tomorrow. One more night with you sounds morbidly perfect."
"Call it what it is."
August 2009:
"What does it say?" Clarke ask for what felt like the millionth time.
"It hasn't even been ninety seconds, it takes three minutes!" Raven yelled, not as nervous as Clarke, but definitely more agitated.
"I just… I can't be pregnant! We were always so careful! I've been on birth control since my period started and Bellamy always wore a condom. I can't be pregnant, but I'm also two months late. I'm freaking out!"
"You have me, you have Miller, Monty, Harper, and Jasper. Hell, you even have Murphy. We can raise a kid! The saying is, it takes a village to raise a child."
"Murphy is not going to volunteer to join that village," Clarke rolled her eyes.
The timer on Raven's phone went off and Clarke groaned, dropping to the floor in the fetal position, relatively fitting for the situation.
"It's positive," Raven said slowly.
"What?"
"Pink plus sign. Do you want me to get you anything?"
"How about a boyfriend who stays?" she half joked and regretted it, Raven just lost Wick too, or as she tells it, she pushed him away and she's happy about the decision.
"I wish."
"You really think everyone will help?"
"If they don't, they're shitty neighbors and even shittier friends."
February 2011:
"Yes, Mom!" Clarke said into the phone, rolling her eyes at Raven.
"You know breast feeding is one of the healthiest and nutrient-rich way to feed your child," Abby said as though it wasn't the thousandth time Clarke has heard it in the last two years.
"You do know today is her first birthday and she has a name."
"Yes, I'm aware," Abby said sternly, like she's void of emotion and Clarke wondered what happened to the woman who raised her because whoever she's on the phone with isn't her.
"You know you give me this lecture every week and you still haven't met her or called her by her name."
"Where's her father?"
"I don't know. We—we stopped looking a few months ago. If he ever comes back or makes it on the news, hell, if he gets a Facebook, I'll reach out to him, but other than typing his name into Google, I'm not avidly searching for someone who doesn't want to be found."
"Do you have enough money this month?"
"Yes. Mom, I'm not living in poverty or on the streets, Raven and I have a three bedroom and Monty and Miller are down the hall. Our complex is nice and the neighborhood is safe."
"And you're working two jobs, do you even see the baby?"
"Yes, I do. I'm fine, Mom, really."
"Tell Raven I say hi, I have a surgery to get to."
"Okay, bye," Clarke hung up and turned to Raven who was rocking Julia to sleep. "She says hello to you and didn't wish her granddaughter a happy birthday."
"Why am I loved more than her granddaughter? Still avoiding coming out to visit?"
"It's like I'm a disappointment for having her. You know she wouldn't be talking to me at all right now if I had gotten an abortion? I can't win with her!"
"She's your mom and she cares, she just doesn't know how to show it. She sent presents!" Raven smiled, offering Clarke reasons to forgive her mother for not visiting, she doesn't agree with half of Clarke's choices when it comes to Julia either. That's always how it's been though, Abby buying affection and loyalty, never doling either out herself.
Clarke smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She had a party to get ready for. "Whatever, I got the call over with, now I can get ready for her party and make sure you look gorgeous for this single dad that's coming."
"What? Clarke, no!"
"He has custody every other week and his ex is a bitch. He's your type and he's looking."
"Clarke, this is a bad idea, remember when you set up Miller and Bryan? That imploded!"
"Exactly, no catastrophic event, nothing to remind them everyday of what they lost." She moved the chair to the next spot on the ceiling for the streamers, "I'm honestly waiting for the day that Monty realizes his feelings for Nate too and asks Harper for polyamory. Or Miller man's up, giving up on his Monty problem and asks Eric out. They have this weird rapport when he drops Julia off at the hospital."
"Really?" Raven smirked. "You invited him too, didn't you?"
"And told him that Miller is single."
"So you're setting everyone but yourself up?"
"Who says I'm not setting myself up?" Clarke smirked and continued to tape the streamers to the ceiling.
Of course she didn't realize she was setting herself up for an abusive relationship, that Graham wasn't the nice guy she and everyone at work thought he was.
November 2012:
"Murphy! Oh, my God, Murphy! Where are you? Julia just said Mama!" Clarke exclaimed, hugging her sweet, sweet girl tightly before getting up to find wherever the hell Murphy went.
She walked into the kitchen, where Clarke could still see Julia, and found Murphy icing a cake. "What are you doing?"
"Jesus! I can't even surprise you with a birthday cake?" he grumbled and Clarke smiled.
"Thank you, Murphy," she stepped into him, a smear of chocolate icing on his forehead (What?) and hugged him. "You're nearly the best."
"Only nearly?"
"Cancel the party and you will be the best."
"Party? What party?"
"Murphy, you really think I don't know? You left a receipt for a shit ton of cocktail wieners and other appetizers, you'd invite me to any party you and Emori throw so there's a surprise party for me that I don't want."
"Because of Julia? We have that covered."
"That is your goddaughter. Would you really trust her with an ordinary babysitter?"
"It was Jasper, which I now see is an even worse mistake."
"Mm," Clarke hummed as Murphy pulled his phone out to probably—hopefully—cancel the party. "I'm gonna take a bite if you don't stop me," she opened her jaw completely, bending down over the cake, an inch away before Murphy pulled her out of the kitchen, laughing the entire time.
He dropped a kiss on Julia's head when she looked up at him with her baby blues, the only physical contribution of Clarke's genetics, and she's pretty sure that's going to change soon too. "I really hope you get your father's sanity, kid, your mother's psychotic," he whispered before running into the kitchen so Clarke couldn't throw anything at him for bringing Bellamy up.
She didn't forget about him, or stop loving him, or stopped looking for him, she would just rather not talk about him to save her sanity. Twenty months and Bellamy's still MIA with nothing from Octavia either. Maybe Bellamy was trying to give her space, time to get over him, but it felt impossible with a reminder of the love they created in her arms half the day.
May 2013:
"Graham, please, stop," Clarke exasperated for what felt like the hundredth time, probably because they've had this argument a hundred times before. "I don't want to get married."
"It's because of him, isn't it? Her father? What kind of father doesn't want to know their child?" He spat and it stung, he was right and she was being unfair to Bellamy, but he was the one that left, he was the one that didn't have a forwarding address or email or phone number. Even Miller hasn't spoken to him since dropping him at the airport.
"He doesn't know! How could I have told him if I don't know how to get a hold of him? If you can't respect my wishes, you could just leave. I…"
Her words were cut off by his hand around her throat, slamming her back against the door jamb. "You do not tell me what to do," he sneered.
Clarke tried to take a breath in, barely able to with his hand tightly around her throat nearly blocking her windpipe.
She saw the door to the apartment open in her peripheral vision but didn't dare acknowledge it so Graham could pretend like this wasn't what it was, she wondered why she stayed with him after the first time he laid hands on her. There was a time after Julia was born where she thought she was damaged goods, which no one would want to be with her now that she had Julia. She faked it until Graham showed interest and she thought that maybe it was general depression, always thinking about Bellamy and what he'd do with Julia, probably ask to give her a weird middle name, like Artemis or Hygeia, probably hate that she chose Aspasia, meaning 'welcome' and Clarke felt that she needed to remind herself that she never wavered with her feelings towards Julia, that she always wanted her and never… never thought about giving her up.
"Graham…" her voice was hoarse and barely over a whisper as the edges of her sight began to blur. The warm, fuzzy feeling spreading through her, replacing the pain in her throat. Vaguely seeing a dark shadow just before everything went black.
"You need to get back," the all too familiar voice of her dreams, the voice of a man who brought her her greatest joy before leaving, said.
"Bellamy?"
"Clarke, go!" he said in her ear and she reached out for him, but nothing was there, just the darkness.
"Clarke," his voice changed to one she's used to hearing nearly every day, a voice she'd know anywhere but for an entirely different reason than Bellamy's impossibly low bass.
Suddenly everything was too bright and she grimaced, turning away from the light to find Murphy watching her.
"Clarke, are you okay?"
She cleared her throat and swallowed, "Yeah?" it was rough, but at least she could still talk.
"Yeah?"
"Mm, where's Graham?"
"I knocked him out and hogtied him in your room, called Miller to get him and write up a restraining order."
"Thanks," she groaned, sitting up, leaning back against the kitchen cabinets.
"How long?"
"Which part?"
"The abuse."
"Since he realized I'd never love him like I love Bellamy."
"'Love'? Present tense," Murphy noticed and Clarke nodded.
"It's been four years, I don't think I can stop loving him if I still feel the same after all this time."
"Did you get brain damage? You know I'm not Raven, right?"
"Yeah, but she's happy with Roan and… where's Julia?"
"Asleep in the pack and play."
"I should probably get rid of that thing."
"Or just give it to me and Emori," he said softly.
"What?! You guys are trying?"
"We discussed it at length and she sees how I am with Julia and I want to be a dad."
"Oh, my God, that's great! You're going to be a great dad and you're less of an asshole since Emori walked into your life so that's a plus too," Clarke smirked at him before getting serious. "Seriously, you stepped up the most when Julia was born, it's why I asked you to be her godfather."
"She's too cute, even though she looks a lot like Blake."
Clarke nodded, her daughter had more of her father in her than she does her mother and it wasn't that Clarke hated that Julia looked a lot like Bellamy, she just hated the reminder that she's doing this alone instead of with him.
There was a soft knock on the door before Miller stepped in with his partner behind him. "Griffin," he sighed with relief. "We were across town," he explained, dropping to the ground in front of her to get a closer look at her probably bruised neck before turning to Murphy. "Where the hell is he?"
"Bedroom."
"Collins, get the bastard."
"Uh, just... He's, um, hogtied," Murphy shrugged. "I got a little carried away."
"A little?" Collins grimaced and headed into the bedroom and Miller began writing up the report.
"So we're bringing him in too?" Collins asked jabbing his chin towards Murphy as he walked out of the bedroom with Graham untied but handcuffed, the duct tape over his mouth still intact.
"I'd typically say yes, but he saved her life and someone needs to watch Julia while Clarke fills out forms because that asshole is not stepping near her or Julia ever again," Miller explained.
"Raven said her friends were dysfunctional, but this is ridiculous."
"Then you deal with Julia's temper tantrum when you wake her up to go down to the station."
Christmas 2014:
Clarke decided after Graham to not see anyone while Julia was at a tender age and didn't have a set routine with her work schedules and who's watching Julia all the time.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Julia exclaimed, jumping onto Clarke's bed, waking her up. Of course the one morning a year Julia wakes up before eight is Christmas where Clarke was pulling double Santa duty at her apartment and Murphy's. He's an amazing dad to John Jr. and still spends more time than he should with Julia, so Clarke volunteered to help set up the gifts under their tree for him and Emori with John while the exhausted Emori slept. Murphy helped Clarke too, but not as much because Clarke doesn't have the luxury of spoiling her daughter. They're not in a financial crisis, but they're not going on vacation any time soon.
"Morning," Clarke smiled, though being up most of the night, she was really going to be living on coffee today. "Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas! Did Santa come?"
"Oh, I know he did! I heard him," she wrinkled her nose as she attacked Julia with tickles. "Let's go!"
It wasn't that Clarke couldn't buy her daughter presents, she just wanted her daughter to grow up wanting something and not being given everything she asked for like she had when she was a child. Clarke wasn't complaining, her parents showered her with love, material love. That's not fair to her father, he's always taken time out of his busy schedule to spend time with Clarke, without making it feel like it was a bother, Clarke thoroughly felt loved by the man when she was growing up and her mother has always been a stranger, to this day, just more judgmental after her father died and deciding to keep Julia after Bellamy left. It wasn't that Clarke didn't see her mother's point, she just choose to make her own decisions.
She also thought about what Bellamy would do, he didn't have a Christmas, not after Octavia was born. He never complained, Clarke knew better than to think he was complaining about what he gave up for his sister, he'd give her the world and he damn well tried. He knew he'd do the same for Julia if he were here, but he'd also see Clarke's point, she had no idea what working hard for something felt like when she started university, she wanted her daughter to know she could count on her, but to also that she has to work to get what she wants. She wants a car? She's getting a job to pay for it and the gas and insurance (Clarke will probably pay for half of the car, but it's the principle).
Growing up in the Griffin household, Christmas was who could spoil Clarke more than the other. Not exactly what Christmas was about, but Clarke and Julia's Christmas was practical, socks, underwear, shoes, a few new outfits, maybe a bike and some toys, Miller's old iPad she bought off him for a hundred bucks for herself (okay, he's giving it to her himself and no, she can't get him anything in return).
Clarke knew she was lucky, none of her friends had to help her out as much as they have with Julia since she was born, she probably wouldn't have if any of them had kids right after college, she owed them the world and she knew they'll take her up on it.
Walking out into the living room, all her friends were sitting in their respective seats from their weekly Disney movie night, with a spare coffee sitting in wait for her and a hot chocolate piled high with whipped cream for Juls. Rolling her eyes, Clarke smiled, "Merry Christmas!"
Juls squealed, running to Raven, not seeing her for a few weeks and it didn't hurt that she was sitting next to Emori and baby John.
"Merry Christmas!" everyone sung back, watching Juls in Raven's arms, pet baby John.
"Be gentle," John softly reminded her.
"You're his dad, right?"
"I am," he smiled proudly.
"Do I have a dad?"
John's face fell as he looked to Clarke who froze halfway into sitting between Raven and Miller on the oversized couch. "Of course you have a dad."
"Where is he?"
"Juls, don't you want to open presents?" Clarke and Miller asked nearly in sync.
"Duh, but who's my dad?"
"He's… he moved for work, and where he is… there's no phone service so I can't get a hold of him. I'm sorry," Clarke said looking into her mug full of coffee.
"Juls, if you open your presents, you can come to our apartment and open baby John's for him," Emori smiled at the toddler who was watching her mom with a dissatisfied look on her face.
Julia hopped off Raven's lap and began looking for her presents.
So much for a merry Christmas…
September 2015
Clarke couldn't sleep, she was so nervous, she didn't know what to do. She doesn't know how people do it, send their kids to school every day with a stranger in charge of them and twenty-plus children of the same age, it's insanity! Who in their right mind would trust a stranger with their child, she couldn't get her head wrapped around the concept.
Rolling out of bed at the sound of her alarm, she showered and got dressed before starting breakfast for Juls (she's surprisingly gotten better over the years) before waking her up for her first day of school. Her daughter is five and Clarke had no idea where the years have gone, she remembered cradling Julia in her arms like it were yesterday, now if she has to carry her, it's on her back and for no longer than ten minutes before Clarke starts really feeling it.
An hour later they were out the door and on their way to school four blocks over and Clarke swore she stopped breathing eight times on the way, but the tight grip in her left hand reminded her that she's not the one that should be nervous, it's Julia's first day of school. Her first step into society and Clarke was insanely proud while worrying like hell that she didn't teach her daughter something she should know before kindergarten.
"Bye, Mom!" Julia smiled when they got to the gate of the school, releasing her mother's hand.
"Woah, wait," Clarke grimaced, bringing Julia back to her and knelt on the dirty sidewalk. "I love you."
Julia rolled her eyes, "I love you too."
"You will be amazing."
"Can you tell me a new story tonight?"
"A new story?" Clarke grimaced.
"Yes, something where the princess is brave and rescues herself and maybe there's a prince or king involved?"
Clarke laughed, "I have just the story. Go have a great day for me, okay?"
"Okay!"
Clarke kissed Julia's cheek and let her run off into the school.
"Kindergarten?" she heard a woman ask and Clarke looked up at a gorgeous blonde with striking cheekbones.
"How could you tell?" she asked standing up.
The woman smirked, "Overbearing. It's cute though. She's cute, where's her father?"
"Not in the picture," Clarke said without a grimace, it's gotten easier, even though it still hurt like hell to say.
"Right, well, I should head in. I'm Niylah, and I teach third grade."
"Clarke. Nice to meet you, Niylah."
"Not to be too presumptuous, but if you ever want to get coffee or a beer or more, I'm in room 109," she smiled and headed inside.
"109," Clarke smiled.
November 2016:
"I can't believe you seriously invited her to Thanksgiving!" Raven grimaced.
"Why not?"
"Because she's your ex!"
"We went out a few times and hooked up barely, I don't consider that dating so there's no ex-girlfriend title and besides, who am I to abandon someone on a holiday?"
"You're not abandoning her, she chose not to go home!"
"That doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to feel loved and welcome on a holiday!"
"Well, it's too late, she's going to be here at three and you're going to be warm and welcoming! Now, come on, help me with this turkey."
"Remind me again, why we're having Thanksgiving at your apartment this year."
"Because I have the biggest oven," Clarke smiled.
Raven grimaced, "Right."
Turns out Niylah fit in with their little band of misfits and they kept inviting her back for everything they did as a group, no matter whose apartment it was being held at or that she's previously slept with Clarke before.
September 2017:
"He just leaves?" Juls asked for what felt like the thousandth night in a row, and if Clarke didn't know any better, she'd say it was. But 730 was close enough, its two years' worth of nights telling the same story and Clarke didn't know why Julia hadn't gotten sick of it already.
"Yes, Juls, he just leaves."
"Why?"
Clarke shrugged, "There are plenty of princesses that need saving."
"But she was his princess. They were in love and he just walked away?"
"I don't know what you want me to tell you, baby. He left and he doesn't come back! Now, go to sleep, you have school in the morning."
Clarke placed the loose leaf book on the night stand and kissed her daughter's head as she settled in. "I love you, Monkey," she whispered before turning the light out. The room transformed into the constellations as the night light spun slowly. Clarke picking out Sagittarius and Aries as she walked into the hall, closing the door behind her.
She released a shaky breath, trying to get rid of the thought of Bellamy and his Aries birthday. How had she gotten away with not thinking about him for so long? Why did the consternation of his horoscope get to her?
"Will you ever come back?"
"If I do, neither of us will be the same," he answered looking out the window over her head, his thumb stroking her knee that laid across his abdomen.
"Is there a chance where we grow separately but still fit together?"
"Somewhere in the multiverse."
Clarke's lip twitched, hiding her smile in his shoulder. He's leaving, she reminded herself.
"You should go. Octavia's going to be back and if she sees you… she might get her hopes up about staying."
Tears prickled her eyes, this is really goodbye, as she rolled out of bed and found his Ark U T-shirt on the floor by her underwear and jeans. She pulled it over her head after pulling the other two on, looking down at him staring at the ceiling with an emotionless face.
"I'm keeping this shirt," she said, mainly to herself, she knew she was going to miss his scent in the middle of the night.
"I have more. There's a box of your stuff by the door."
Clarke nodded, leaving his bedroom without a word, finding her flip flops and book bag in the living room before giving the boxed up apartment she spent more time in than her own a last look.
Finding the box she grimaced at the drawing she gave him for his birthday last year, framed and everything. She pulled it out and placed it on an end table, not knowing what he was going to do with them, but it was his present, it's his and she's not going to take it just so it would be easier for him to try forgetting her.
"Mommy?" She heard, barely as she rolled over and found her daughter at the door.
"Yeah, babe?"
"I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you?"
Clarke lifted the sheets, making room for her beautiful daughter. "Of course!"
Julia hopped in the bed, snuggling in close against Clarke who wrapped her arms around her daughter.
"Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Just a monster hurting you. Could you tell me a story?"
"You know that no one is going to hurt me, but if something does happen to me you have Aunt Rae and Uncle John, right? They'll always love you and look out for you."
"I know. Story?"
Clarke nodded, hating that the only one that came to mind was her and Bellamy's, the one she'd already told her earlier in the night. "There once was a princess who thought she had everything. Her father, the king, loved her and her mother, the queen, was logical with her feelings. So the princess thought she had the best of both worlds, the king's heart and the queen's mind, that is until she met the Rebel King.
"Now, the Rebel King lived and thrives in chaos, and the princess, well, she wasn't much for chaos.
"No matter how much the princess fought it, their hearts were molding into one. She fought because she knew that her Rebel King would have to leave eventually, go off to lead wars and maybe never come back.
"While knowing this, she still fell in love with him while they fought their current battle together. Fighting for her crown after her father's passing.
"One night, after a grueling battle without him by her side, he tells her he has to leave, his own people were being attacked and he has to fight for his people. He leaves the next day, leaving without a word."
Clarke looked down and saw Julia's eyes closed and her breath slow and even. Sighing, she got more comfortable and fell asleep herself, dreaming of a happy ending that will never come.
February 2018:
"Aunt Rae!" Julia called from her room.
"I'm almost done with the apple slices!" Raven called back and Julia slumped at the table, wondering if it was weird for her to be doing this with a story that wasn't her own but her mother's.
When Raven walks in a moment later, she stopped dead in her tracks at the papers neatly spread out on the table. "What is this?"
"My homework, I was hoping you could write the story for me because my handwriting is horrible or so Mrs. A tells me," Julia shrugged and Aunt Raven sat next to her, placing the apple slices on the table between them.
"So you did the illustration but not the writing because your teacher says you have bad handwriting?"
"Yes," Julia said a little wary.
"All right," Raven grimaced. "So tell me the story and I'll write it on a plain piece of paper and see how to make it flow through the pictures, okay?"
Julia stood and grabbed an apple slice while Raven found a blank piece of paper and a crayon to write the story down. Julia's words were slurred and Raven tried getting all of them but knew she missed some, leaving spaces where they were missing.
"Until she met the Rebel King," Julia said with a clear mouth.
Raven's eyes shot up to the little girl who was the spitting image of her father but with slightly lighter hair, a slice of an apple sticking out of her mouth as she gaped at the girl.
"What is it?"
"Re—Rebel King?"
"Yes, Mom says that every time she tells the story."
"I just… I haven't heard that in years."
"When did you hear it?"
"College. A friend of your Uncle Miller's, he was a menace and he had his whole fraternity rebelling against the Greek system on campus and half the other fraternities began calling him the Rebel King. It shouldn't have been as endearing as it was," Raven grimaced. She neglected to tell Julia that the Rebel King was her father and that it was how Bellamy and Clarke had gotten together, rather the aftermath of his little rebellion.
"Did Mommy know him?"
Raven nodded, "Yes, they didn't get along." Leaving out that it quickly changed… this is going to be difficult. "Let's get back to the story, okay?"
Julia sighed and pressed on with telling Raven Clarke's fairytale story of her and Bellamy's courtship (or lack thereof).
Julia stopped and Raven's slower fingers caught up before looking up at the girl standing across from her.
"Well, there has to be more, that's not an ending," Raven grimaced and she knew she should really stop doing that because of wrinkles but she couldn't help it, she thought Clarke and Bellamy were forever and he walked away from everything.
"That's all she's ever told me."
"'He leaves the next day, leaving without a word'? That's not an ending to any fairy tale. I'm glad she made the princess strong enough to fight her own battles, but to leave you with that? That's not great mothering! Or storytelling, frankly."
"Tell your best friend that, not me. I'm just a kid."
Raven smiled. "Yeah, you know what? I'm going to call your Uncle John and have him bring the guys over, we're going to write you a kick ass ending and yes, I will put a dollar in the swear jar before I leave tonight."
Fifteen minutes later, Murphy walked into the apartment with a pizza and smiled at his favorite girl—Julia, not Raven, "Who wants pizza? I'm being a bad influence and I don't particularly care today. Miller and Monty are ordering two more and they're on their way as we speak. So what's going on?"
Julia was about to tell him when Raven cut her off, "It'll just be easier to explain once. Let's eat some pizza while we wait."
An hour later, Jasper, Miller, and Monty were sitting there, mouths agape at what Raven and Julia had told them.
"What is it? I know the Rebel King was based off Uncle Nate's friend but—"
Miller laughed, "My—my friend, that's what Raven told you? Raven, what the hell?"
"I didn't know what else to say… what was I supposed to say?"
"That he's a jerk that doesn't deserve to be talked about? That abandoned…" Miller bit back his tongue and turned to Murphy. "Are you going to help with this?"
"I'm not going to let Julia fail over this. She doesn't deserve that."
"Monty, Jasper?"
"I agree with Murphy," Jasper said, looking at the drawings on the table of Bellamy and Clarke, how did Julia know what he looked like? She's never seen a picture.
"Okay, so since none of us are going to agree to an ending, I thought that maybe we could each write our own and Julia could pick from the choices," Raven offered.
"Sounds fun. How long do we have?"
"It's due Friday," Julia told them and it was already Wednesday, they didn't have much time.
"Does your mom know about this project?" Monty asked and Julia looked to the ground, shaking her head.
"I don't think she'd want me to tell this story, she's always sad after she tells it, I think it's more than a story to her."
Murphy grimaced, "Julia, I'm going to tell you something that you can't tell your mom that I told you, okay?" She nodded and Murphy proceeded, ignoring the wary looks he's getting from everyone. "Your mom, she's the brave princess in your story. She's faced every challenge the world has thrown at her head on and fought fiercely for what she's believed in. And that Rebel King, she loved him very much and in fairytales you hear about love conquering all, but that's not true. Not with your mom, but she has you and loves you more than anything so if you really think about it, she still wins because she has you."
"Who are you and what the hell have you done with Murphy?" Miller grimaced while fishing in his pocket and pulled a dollar out for the swear jar.
Julia picked it from between his fingers and slipped into the kitchen to deposit the dollar in the swear jar and Monty came in after her.
"How are you doing sweetie?"
"Is the Rebel King my dad?"
"Do you want him to be?"
"I have a feeling Uncle Jasper is the joker."
Monty chuckled, "Yeah, he is. Look, I… there's a reason your mom doesn't talk about your father, I don't know why, he's not a bad person, he was gone before she could tell him about you, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't want you if he knew."
Julia grimaced, "So he just left, like the Rebel King."
She stomped out of the room and sat in the armchair, watching all the adults around her work on her story.
Raven:
The Rebel King was heard of throughout the kingdom on occasion over the years, but the brave princess moved on, she cared about her kingdom, about her people. She became Queen on her own and had a family. If the Rebel King ever decided to go back to her, she wouldn't know, she's happy in her life and, even though she'd love to have him in it, she didn't need him like she thought she did all those years ago. The Brave Princess was happy, without a Rebel King to save her.
Always a princess, never a damsel.
Murphy:
The Princess stopped thinking about the Rebel King and the hold she felt he had over her heart, she was free to love whomever she's chosen. There were rocky steps, steps she missed, but her path never wavered, her heart belonged to one lovely little duchess, taking pride in raising her as her own daughter.
The Brave Princess became the Brave Queen, writing into law that the duchess girl will be the heir apparent so long as she doesn't have children of her own, knowing that the likeliness of finding a husband after the Rebel King was slim, giving the duchess the throne when she passes.
Leaving a new line and era of succession.
Miller:
The Rebel King comes back and the Brave Princess doesn't forgive him for making her wait for so long. She didn't forgive him for a while and the Rebel King began losing hope that he'd ever win his Brave Princess back. He never wanted to be so far from her for so long, but the world had other plans for him. He vowed to never leave her side again, that he'd give up his realm for her, and he nearly did.
Late one night, the princess was out strolling the castle when she saw him hand a piece of parchment to her second best rider and she needed to know what his letter said and to whom it was written and so she went after him on her own horse, being the best rider in her realm.
Catching up to the rider she demanded he stopped and hand over the parchment the Rebel King handed him.
It stated that he was abdicating the throne and that he didn't want to rule a kingdom, that he wanted their people to be free and was demanding a democracy be put in place in his stead within a year.
The Princess rode back to her castle, knocking profusely at the King's door and told him that he couldn't abandon his people, not for her. He should go back and help them turn his nation into a democratic republic if that's what he believes will be best for them. She promised that she'd write him every day he's gone and he promised the same, promised to come back to her as soon as he could and she promised to marry him when he returned.
It took longer than expected, but they were wed years later and turned their kingdom into a democracy together.
Monty and Jasper:
The Brave Princess heard rumors of the Rebel King's return to his kingdom after years of battling other people's wars. She wanted to see him desperately but also feared he wasn't the same rebel she loved immensely. There were days where she felt her heart was being ripped out of her chest and she wanted nothing more than to go to him and tell him she still loved him, she's still his if he wanted her, but even within bravery, there's fear. Fear that he didn't love her anymore, that he loved someone else, and that her waiting for him was for nothing.
Julia couldn't choose which ending she liked better than the rest so she didn't choose, she drew endings to each story and on Friday she handed in the project to Mr. B with four endings.
Ms. Griffin,
Please stop into class one day this week after school, we need to discuss the latest project Julia handed in.
Thank you,
Mr. B
Clarke grimaced at the letter Julia left for her from her… teacher?
"Julia, who's Mr. B? I thought Ms. Applebaum was your teacher!"
Julia looked up from her homework at the coffee table, "She's having a baby so Mr. B is subbing for a few months. They sent a letter home."
"Right," Clarke grimaced. "What's this project he wants to talk to me about?"
"Oh, I didn't tell you about it. Aunt Rae called my uncles to help work on it last week, remember they were all here on Wednesday?"
"Oh, right. They helped you?"
"Yes, it was this story thing. I used your bedtime story."
Clarke sighed, "Julia, you shouldn't have done that. That story—"
"Is about my father?"
Clarke's mouth snapped shut. How could she possibly know that? The boys and Raven swore they'd never talk to her about him unless Clarke said it was okay and she definitely hadn't talked to them about Bellamy in nearly two years, and why the hell does Julia know the story's about him?
"What?"
"Murphy said you're the Brave Princess and Raven said she hadn't heard the name Rebel King since college. You had me just after college, I did the math."
"You're seven, you shouldn't…" Clarke stopped herself, realizing it's her own fault that her seven year old daughter acts like a twenty year old, always surrounded by adults, no children her age, the closest being baby John and he's nearly three so he doesn't exactly count. "Okay, look, I love you and that has never and will never change. Your father's a complicated story and I don't know how to tell it or know if I ever will be able to, but maybe in a few years I can. Okay? How about your tenth birthday?"
"That's three years!"
"That should be enough time."
Julia rolled her eyes and went back to her homework and Clarke opened the refrigerator to figure out what to make for dinner.
Clarke grimaced as she walked down the hall of her daughter's school, decorated for Valentine's Day.
"Clarke! What are you doin here?" Niylah asked stepping out of her classroom.
"Julia's teacher wants to speak to me about her latest project. I can't remember what classroom that is," she chuckled nervously.
"One-eleven, just past mine. Will I see you this weekend?"
"It's Julia's birthday and I don't know what they're planning for it, they've taken over since she could talk back, you know?"
Niylah smiled, "I do. Anyway, I should go, these copies don't print themselves. I hope it goes well in there."
"Right. Thank you."
Niylah walked past her, towards the office and copy machine and Clarke pressed on to the next classroom, 111 and knocked on the ajar door.
Through the window, she saw the man lift his head at the noise and her heart stopped. Unruly brown curls, deep chocolate eyes, broad shoulders that molded her to him when they wrapped around her. He was standing when she turned around and bolted down the hall and was about to turn the corner when he called her name and she froze, his voice was always a shock after long periods of time and this time it hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Clarke Griffin," he said again like it was some sort of miracle that she existed, that she was the one that left and not him. That she changed her phone number and email and didn't leave a forwarding address or even have a Facebook!
"You don't get to act like the victim, I'm not the one who left!" She spat, she still hasn't turned to look at him, she still hasn't gotten a real look at him.
"Clarke, I'm not… be mad, be furious, I deserve it. Will you at least talk to me?"
"We can talk about Julia's project like you wrote home to me about, but that is it."
He nodded, "Could we do that in my classroom?"
Clarke looked around the hall and nodded, walking back to his classroom. "Don't touch me," she growled, when he was about to touch the small of her back, guiding her into his room, she used to think it was endearing, now it's weird.
"Okay," Bellamy sighed once Clarke was sitting on one of the tables the students used for desks. "Do you know anything about the assignment?"
"She's my daughter, you think I don't check her homework?" she asked defensively and Bellamy quirked his eyebrow up at her.
"Okay, it was a busy week, I didn't. Raven usually takes care of homework."
"And Murphy picks her up from school?"
"Well, she doesn't have a dad so her uncles and Aunt Raven help out a lot."
"Her dad's not in the picture?"
"No, I apparently have a type for guys who leave. What's the project?"
Bellamy grabbed a few pages bound together with ribbon and handed it over, "Write and illustrate their favorite bedtime story."
The Brave Princess and the Rebel King, Clarke swore her heart stopped. Of course it's Julia's favorite bedtime story, it's the only one she's allowed Clarke to tell her the last two years.
"I've had her three months and I didn't make the Griffin connection until she handed this to me last Friday and then I tried finding out if it were really you by watching out the window at the end of the day for who picked her up and it was Murphy every day, he was crazy over Emori long before I left so…"
"They have a son, John, he's three."
"Clarke, I have to ask—"
"She's my daughter and your student. What's wrong with her story?"
"There's no ending. Or, rather there's four, I personally like Miller's the best, it's thorough and it has to be Miller's because of that, or I don't know your friends anymore but uncle-wise, he'd be a good one to choose. Anyway, it needs an ending and I asked Julia to pick one of the four and she shrugged saying she didn't know the ending because you never told her the ending."
"Ideal ending was the Rebel King turned around halfway to the airport deciding to stay."
"Clarke, is she my daughter?"
"Ask me when you aren't her teacher."
"Her seventh birthday is next week, I left seven years and nine months ago. Is she mine?"
"No, I was a whore after you left and slept with half your fraternity instead of missing graduation curled up in my bed for three weeks because the guy I was in love with left me!"
"Really appreciating the sarcasm. Friday's my last day subbing for Ms. Applebaum, would you… can I meet her? You know, as her father?"
"Why are you so calm about this?"
"Because you're screaming at me and I've had time to process it over the last week. I know I said that I never want to be my father and I know I broke that, but now that I know, I want to be in her life. I want to be her dad, not a sperm donor like I had."
"No."
"No?"
"I—I need time to process it. You walk back into my life through my daughter and think you deserve to be a part of her life after such a long period of time? She's used to not having a dad, she's used to Uncle Murphy picking her up from school and spending her afternoons with Uncle Miller and Monty, or Maya and Jasper, her Wednesdays and Saturdays with Aunt Raven. What the hell do I even say? 'Hey, Julia, you're spending your afternoons with your teacher Mr. Blake from now on? Oh, I mean, the father that didn't know you existed because running away to Bolivia was better than staying in Virginia with his girlfriend who didn't know she was pregnant until she was three months along and couldn't contact him or find him no matter how hard she tried'? I bet they have a Hallmark card for that!"
"You never know," Bellamy smirked and Clarke glared at him.
"You realize you have no rights, right? You left! How long until you leave again? How long until you get bored of the mundane life of parenting and get a job in Peru? What am I supposed to tell her then?"
"I've been to Peru. I'm not leaving Clarke. That part of my life is over, okay? I—I never thought I'd miss Virginia, I didn't think I could miss having a mundane life until I was halfway across walking on hot coals in Singapore and I thought, I could be reading a book about walking on hot coals instead of searing the bottom of my feet off. I wanted to read about the experience more than I wanted to experience it, I wanted to be here. So I quit my job and moved back, took a teaching course and I'm a substitute until I get my degree. This isn't a whim where I'm going to get bored and leave or they're going to call me, wanting me back and I go because I wanted to be here before I knew that I had a child here. I'm not staying for her or you, I'm staying for me."
"Fine, but you're an old college friend until she's used to you being around and you're not alone with her and you can't be in her life outside school while you're her teacher. Okay?"
"Yeah. Yes, yes," he smiled widely. "I know it doesn't mean much after eight years, but I missed you. I wanted to call, but I was jumped my first week in Athens so I lost all my contacts and phone service was ten times cheaper over there so I got a new plan and number. My email was through the college so it didn't exist anymore. I'm sorry, I wish I could take the last eight years back, I wish I was here when you found out you were pregnant and told Abby."
"You'll get a kick out of this, Abby barely talks to me and has never talked to Julia or acknowledged her as more than 'the baby' since I told her and that you weren't coming back. Basically because I told her about both she nearly disowned me for raising her grandchild alone."
"But you're not alone, you have Raven, Murphy, Miller, Monty, and Jasper. You are far from alone."
"Yeah, well the closest she's ever come to acknowledging Julia was when I was with Graham and then, of course, that ended and she blamed Julia for me not keeping a man around. She wouldn't even let me tell her why I kicked him out."
"Why'd you kick him out?"
Clarke looked into Bellamy's eyes, and even though there was something in there she's never seen before while looking at her, she also saw genuine curiosity. "We worked together, he worked nights and I worked mornings, our hours overlapped and when they did we got to talk and he knew that I had Julia, he knew I was a single mom. I don't think he knew what dating a single mom would be like until he was really in it. I think because we spent a lot of time together, a lot of time in taking care of Julia that he thought we were more serious than we were because he proposed fairly quickly and I didn't exactly say no so he kept asking. There were alarms going off in my head every time I said no because there was obviously a reason other than not loving him that I didn't want to marry him, that I didn't want him as a permanent staple in my life, our life.
"It was Mother's Day weekend, maybe a few days before when he asked again, for the hundredth time that year and I said no and he was furious, I don't think I've ever seen someone so angry before. Before I knew it, his hands were around my throat and he was screaming about how you've ruined me for everyone, how I'll never be over you and still demanding I say yes. I barely saw Murphy come into the apartment before I passed out," she sighed at the vague memory but continued.
"Miller showed up and I got a restraining order against him and I haven't been in a relationship since. I'm not risking her again."
"Clarke…" the look in his eyes was something close to heartbreak.
"It's been five years, I'm fine. Are we done here?"
"Uh, yeah. Did you pick an ending?"
Clarke skimmed over them all and grimaced, "Why do you like Miller's?"
"Because even after eight years, I haven't stopped thinking about you."
"You still dated though, didn't you?"
"Gina, Echo and Bree. You remember Bree, she—she liked me in college, I'd just gotten back and she was at the bar and it was barely a couple nights."
"You get tested after? She wanted all the guys in your frat and got with most of them. She's patient zero."
Bellamy laughed.
"If you like Miller's go with Miller's, we'll see what happens."
"Clarke, I'm not… I'm not going to leave again, I'm not going to leave her behind. She's all that matters."
"Good, I—I should go."
"Yeah, okay. Uh, her birthday—"
"The Shenandoah building, apartment 5D, one o'clock. She likes astronomy right now."
"A telescope would be too much, right?"
"A good quality telescope, yes."
"I'll think of something. Thank you."
"Don't thank me, Bellamy, you've been gone for eight years, they're going to be insanely protective of her."
He nodded, "I wouldn't have it any other way. Bye, Clarke."
"What do you mean 'he's back'?"
Clarke threw back a shot of… she didn't know what and grimaced at the burn. "Julia's father."
"Bellamy," Raven reiterated, like Clarke wasn't being clear on the matter. They were at the bar down the block from the apartment building, Miller and Monty watching Julia for the night.
"That guy, yes."
"You haven't said his name, have you?"
"Nope, and if I say it, then it's real and I don't want it to be real. He did the math, Raven. He figured out she's his, I mean the math wasn't that difficult and it wasn't like I ever slept around before he and I got together, it'd be weird if I had so the odds of her being his was really high, even if the math was wrong."
"And because he figured it out, he's coming to the party tomorrow?"
"The connection between the two wasn't that clear, I was a sarcastic asshole and he deserved it, he fucking left, but yes."
"And we're drinking tonight so the hangover will make everything worse tomorrow?"
"We're drinking because… because I—I don't know what to do about him! He's fucking gorgeous, more so now, he's gotten better with age! And look at me, I'm in a constant state of exhaustion, I can't get rid of this baby pouch," she said, gripping her stomach that hasn't gone away since Julia was born. "I have bags and wrinkles and grey hairs! Raven, I found grey hairs! I'm twenty-eight! What twenty-eight year old has grey hair and wrinkles and big bruising bags under their eyes? It's not normal!"
"Clarke, honey, you are gorgeous and funny and insanely over worked and you're allowed to want him back. Do you want him back?"
"I'm afraid Graham was right, Raven, I haven't let anyone in, not even him, not since Bellamy left. The only friends I have are the friends I had in college and you guys were his friends too. Please, don't let Julia and I get in the way of being friends with him."
"Um, we wouldn't and what are you going to do about that anyway, how are you explaining his presence at her party?"
"Old college friends and he was her substitute teacher so it's not like he's a stranger to her, it also justifies how we got back into contact."
"Right. So being hungover for the first time they're together outside of the classroom is a good decision?"
"Probably not," Clarke grimaced. "Damn it. I don't know what I'm doing, Rae. I shouldn't want him back, but every time I think about him being in her life and not mine…" Clarke sighed with frustration, she couldn't think straight and the alcohol wasn't helping. "I don't like it."
"I don't think you're supposed to. Come on, let's get you home, we have decorating to do in the morning."
"Mr. Blake, what are you doing here?" Julia asked, opening the door without Clarke's permission as she rounded the corner to get it herself.
"He's an old friend from college, we haven't seen each other since graduation and when I met him as your substitute teacher the other day, I invited him. Is that weird, do you not want him to be here?" Clarke asked Julia nervously, not even looking at Bellamy.
Julia smiled her I'm up to something smile and Clarke breathed out the breath she didn't know she was holding in. "No, of course, Mr. Blake can stay. He brought me a present."
"That I did, I heard someone was turning ten today," he smiled and Clarke's heart fluttered, it needs to stop doing that immediately.
"Seven!" Julia corrected before taking his hand and dragged him into the apartment.
"Wow! This place is…"
"Clean. Mom doesn't like clutter."
"I remember that from college. So where is everyone?"
"Well, Aunt Rae is getting ice, Uncle John's baby is being fussy so he and Aunt Emori are going to be late, they're always late now. Uncles Nate and Monty are probably kissing in their apartment and Uncle Jasper might be whining to Aunt Harper about Aunt Maya being in California for the next three weeks, like FaceTime doesn't exist," she rolled her eyes and Clarke smirked at Bellamy's wide eyes, since when did he wear glasses?
"So I'm early?"
"We have the aunts and uncles here early before her classmates come over. We made the mistake in kindergarten and none of them got to see her on her birthday because she was asleep by the time they got here," Clarke explained.
"Right. So…"
"Do you want a drink? We have beer…"
"I'm sober. There was an incident with Octavia, everyone's okay, but I just… it's easier for us all to be sober together."
"How—how is Octavia?"
"Married to a yeti. No, he's a great guy, I actually like him."
"Better than Atom?" Clarke smiled, remembering the time she had to bust Bellamy out of jail for assaulting the poor guy.
"A lot better once I gave him a chance, he was good for her. The incident happened before him and her wedding didn't count as a sober day with all the champagne toasts. There were many Ubers called that night."
"Who's Octavia?" Julia asked, breaking the spell between them.
"My sister," Bellamy smiled.
"I want a sister, but Mom said I have to have a dad to get a sister, like Uncle John and Aunt Emori."
Bellamy grimaced, refraining from the obvious comment about LGBT+ and adoption, they had the argument too many times in college for either of them to forget it. "Yeah, you do."
"So, does it have to be my dad or any dad, because Cindi's mom isn't married to her dad and she's having a baby with her new husband?"
"No, your mom doesn't have to be with your dad unless she wants to be."
"She can't find him. Oh! You went to college with her too, did you know him? Her and her friends called him the Rebel King, like in the bedtime story project you gave us."
"I—"
"Julia, it's not polite to bombard people with questions! Could you go get Mr. Blake a glass of water, please?"
Julia sighed and nodded, skipping into the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, she's… a lot. I don't know how to answer some of her questions sometimes so don't feel pressure to."
"She's great, reminds me of you the day we met. Wide eyes full of wonder, they've lost a little of their sparkle," he noted and Clarke stepped away, wondering how they'd gotten so close that he could tell.
"That's what happens when a heart's been broken too many times. Now, where's Raven?" she pulled away and pulled out her phone to call her friend like a coward.
"Right here," she heard behind her before what sounded like bags of ice fell to the ground.
Clarke turned around in confusion to find Raven, empty handed, and mouth agape staring at Bellamy.
"Oh, fuck. He showed."
"He did," Clarke grimaced, walk-in over to Raven to pick up the bags of ice off the floor to throw in the cooler in the corner filled with juice boxes.
"I did."
"Dollar in the swear jar, Aunt Rae!" Julia called walking into the room with a glass of water. "Here you go, Mr. Blake."
"Thank you, Juls."
"I can't believe you showed," Raven said to him, picking up one of the bags of ice she dropped.
"You really thought I'd run away?"
"Not run away, take a few days to digest everything."
"I mean it wasn't easy and I knew life was going to keep moving for you all, it's just surreal how everything's changed. Murphy's a dad!"
"And a damn fine one at that!" They heard from the apartment door, Raven was putting the bag of ice in the freezer when John and Emori walked in, pushing Junior in his stroller. "Birthday girl, here's a ten for the jar, there will most definitely be more slipping out my mouth today!" He held out a ten dollar bill for Julia and she ran to collect before disappearing into the kitchen. "She doesn't know?"
"Clarke didn't tell me she did so I doubt it."
"You look good. Where the hell have you been?"
"Seven months in Greece, helped O start school there. Started 2010 deep in India, ended it in Shanghai, four months there, Rwanda for a year. There was a month in Jakarta during that year, that's when I started missing the States. Nine months in Cusco, six months in Mar del Plata, those two felt like they flew by. I don't remember much of the four months in Colon. Ten months in Romania, five months in Odessa.
"After that I went to a conference in Edinburgh and Octavia called saying she was engaged and was moving back to Virginia. And it was during that phone call where I realized that I wasn't doing anything that I wanted to do. I was working for the sake of working, to keep my mind busy so I wouldn't think about the people I left, the life I left behind. I wanted it all back, I traveled the world, I saw a majority of what I wanted so I quit, I had nothing but what was in my suitcase and I went to Italy for three months, I saw everything I wanted and I was still an archaeologist so I got to see what new artifacts they found before anyone else at Pompeii and I thought it would fill the void I'd found in me in Edinburgh but it didn't.
"I came home and it took Professor Pike's class to make me see that I wanted to teach. That I wanted to make history exciting for children and not boring. So while I'm getting my teaching license at Ark, I applied as a substitute in the school district so when I get my license I'll also have some teaching down for my resume. Ms. Applebaum's maternity leave was kismet."
"Kismet," Clarke scoffed. "I'm allowing you to be here and I don't have to so drop the 'kismet' bullshit and just be happy I'm allowing you to be here."
"Why wouldn't he be allowed here?" Julia asked, clinging to John's leg.
"I just—" Clarke shook her head trying to come up with something to explain what she could have possibly meant aside from the truth.
"You said no one could hurt you as much as my father, so why wouldn't Mr. Blake be allowed here?"
"Because he… he—"
"He's my father."
She's seven and she's connecting everything and Clarke didn't know what to say, didn't know what any of it meant, didn't know how to deny the truth.
"Who's your daddy?" They heard from the hall and Jasper and Monty walked in, eyes bulging at the sight of Bellamy. "Holy smokes! Bellamy's back? Wait, Monty, how many pills did I take? Too many causes hallucinations."
"This is why Maya doesn't want kids and he's actually standing there because I see him too."
"You too? Cool. Mom!" Jasper yelled, jumping over the couch and hugged Bellamy tightly.
"Yeah, I didn't miss this, you're twenty-nine, Jasper, when aren't you going to need a babysitter?" Bellamy grumbled, pushing the wiry, yet surprisingly light man-child off of him.
"Figured since I'm more than halfway there, I'd just double eighteen and grow up at thirty six, besides, I'm the fun uncle. Right, kiddo?"
"I have more fun with John and Nate. Mom?!" she demanded an answer.
Clarke grimaced and shrugged, "Happy birthday?"
"I hate you!" she exclaimed and pushed off John's leg and down the hall, slamming her door closed.
"Well, this will be lovely to tell the kids when they get here," Raven sighed, leaning against the island that separated the kitchen from the dining room.
"Could I try?" Bellamy asked Clarke.
"What the hell could it hurt now?" she said, pointing to their daughter's room.
Bellamy walked around the couch and down the hall to the closed door and knocked.
Clarke asked everyone to help get the house ready while she helped or spied on Bellamy and Julia.
"Julia, it's Mr. Blake, or Bellamy, if you want to call me that, or whatever you want to call me. Will you let me in? I just want to talk."
"Go away!"
"There's no lock on her door," Clarke told him softly and he nodded, pushing the door open softly, stepping inside.
"Too bad, I think this might be my favorite room in the apartment. You know, your mother's paintings were scattered around my apartment back in college?"
"I hate her."
"Okay, but you really shouldn't. She was trying to protect you from getting hurt, she thinks that I'm going to leave again. I don't blame her for thinking that, I did once already."
"You had a reason and you didn't know about me. She knew you were back!"
"Yes, you're right, and maybe that wasn't fair to you, but what if I did leave and you only lost Mr. Blake? That would hurt less than losing your father."
"I like Bellamy better and if you stay, I might call you dad."
Bellamy chuckled, "I'm staying. If I had known about you, I would have stayed. I loved that job when it was a possibility, the reality of it wasn't what I had hoped. I would have had a better time here with you and your mom."
"Do you still love her?"
"I still love the woman I knew, your mother has changed in eight years, and I've changed too. I hope we could be a family though, no matter how informal and unconventional we may be."
"I'd like that."
"Cool. Now, I'm going to try this whole 'dad' thing out, okay?"
Julia smiled, "Okay."
"Go apologize to your mother or we're canceling your party and embarrassing you on Monday when we explain to them why."
"A little too strict, but we'll work on it," Clarke smiled, showing herself in the doorway. "Hey, babe, you okay?"
"He explained it and I'm still mad but I get it," she said, running to Clarke and hugged her waist. "Thank you for trying to protect me. I don't hate you."
"I will always try to protect you," Clarke hugged Julia back and asked her to go help Uncle Nate with the lights.
"For your first time with your actual daughter, you did pretty good. Doesn't count though, you had years of practice with Octavia."
"Gee thanks," he smirked. "You know I'm going to have to tell O and she's going to want to meet her."
"I figured."
"And you're okay with that?"
"How different is Octavia?"
"She's engaged. Wedding's in June. Is it weird if I ask you to be my date?"
"Could we wait until we know each other a little better? Eight years is a long time, you could be a murderous psychopath for all I know."
Bellamy balked with laughter, "Eavesdropper!"
"Yeah, whatever, come on. You need more Miller in your life, you've deprived yourself, and you're starving from sarcasm deprivation."
June 2018:
Clarke opened the door and smiled, she saw it coming, and everyone had since February, since Julia's birthday. She was speechless and he was downright handsome in his tux.
"Wow," Bellamy breathed. "You look amazing!"
Clarke smiled, grabbing her clutch and locked the door behind her. "Thank you."
"Seriously, Octavia's definitely going to be jealous of you at her own wedding."
"That wasn't the goal."
They stepped into the elevator.
"Regardless of the goal, you're going to outshine her."
"Shut up, Bellamy, geez! How's Julia?"
"Good, excited and nervous, I left her in Luna's hands."
Clarke nodded as they stepped out of the elevator, "Okay, it's her first time being a flower girl so she's probably really nervous. I should see her when we get there."
"Hey, Clarke, I—she's okay, I talked to her, we rehearsed again this morning, she has it down. She's actually more worried about us."
"Us? What about us?"
Bellamy held the car door open for Clarke before getting in himself. "You don't exactly hide the fact that it's been awkward between us."
"Me?" she scoffed, buckling her seatbelt as Bellamy pulled away from the curb. "You're the one being weird!"
"I'm not weird, I just—" he sighed. "Nothing's changed with me, Clarke. I told you were I was at in February, that I'm not leaving and you still don't trust me!"
"I trust you, Bellamy, I've always trusted you, but my heart—Julia's heart—isn't something I'm trusting just anyone with."
"They didn't mean anything to me. Not like you do. I was a scared eight years ago, I didn't know what I wanted, I wanted you and I wanted to travel the world. We had that agreement and I desperately wanted to ask you to come with me but I knew you wouldn't, you wanted to stay. I couldn't be selfish enough to ask you to wait for me, no matter how much I wanted to."
"I would have gone with you. Saying goodbye hurt like hell, Bellamy. Walking out of your apartment with a box of my things… I can't have that happen again."
"Do you want that again?"
"Do I want to get to the point of wanting nothing more than spending an entire weekend in bed with you and being completely happy and needing nothing more in my life to feel complete? No. I want to love you and I want to be a family, but you don't have a permanence here yet. You don't have a job."
"I'll be certified by the end of August and there's a fifth grade position open at another school in the same district, they're saving it for me."
"Saving it? You're going to get a whole curriculum done in less than a month? And you suck at science, how are you going to teach it?"
"I can handle fifth grade biology, Clarke, granted I don't want to be the one to show them the sex and pregnancy video, but someone has to and it'll be me."
Clarke didn't say anything, she couldn't, she had to get her head around the fact that he was serious and he has been for three months. "I want to try."
"What?"
"I want to try, Bell, but I can't get hurt again."
"They called me and asked me to go to Brazil, they think they found a new civilization. I turned it down because there's no place else I'd rather be. There's nowhere else in the world that has a Clarke and Julia, the two girls I love."
"You're, uh—it's… you're corny, but that's really sweet."
"Clarke, I love you, that hasn't changed and I know you don't want to hear that right now, but…"
"Pull over."
"What?"
"Pull the damn car over."
Bellamy pulled the car over and Clarke leaned over and kissed him. "I can't say it back yet, but I might soon. Can we just go slow?"
"Of course," Bellamy smiled.
"Good, now let's go watch your sister get married."
As it turns out, Miller was right.
Six months later Clarke proposes and Julia says yes for Bellamy.