There Are Things a Woman Can Do For That

Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass or any of the characters within

"Alright then, you can console me."

"There are things a woman can do for that, right?"

I had always wanted you, simply, in the safety of knowing that you would never be mine. Yet there you stood, more tangible and real than you had ever been.

Pain glimmered in those hardened, violet eyes, black hair slicked back against your forehead and neck with sweat, and you looked so hopelessly lost.

And finally, I began to see through the mask, through those miniscule cracks to see the man behind Zero, behind the nonchalant lies the he would spout with dignified ease.

I saw the despair you felt, and suddenly it was all so very real. And suddenly, I didn't know what to do anymore.

You stood so close then. Your warm breath ghosted across my face, sending goosebumps cascading down my body. I shivered. Your breath was sweet, and vaguely floral, like honeysuckle or magnolias in the summer.

I had fallen in love with the illusion of what you represented to me. So strong, commanding, the leader of the Knights for Justice. And you had needed me, noticed me, always. There had been something so incredible about being needed by someone so important. Your voice had caused a strong reaction in people whenever you spoke. Smooth like honey, harsh like thorns.

You were the master and I… I was yours.

But this was wrong, I knew it. Everything from your expression to the stiffness of those long slender fingers as they reached up surely to cup my face. I was paralyzed. So many times I had imagined this in the isolation of my own mind, but here in reality, it felt like an absolute invasion of privacy.

I trembled. I wanted to hit you, yell at you, bring back the old Zero. The one I would trust with my life, and had so many times over. Strong, aloof, unattainable, untouchable...

Yet some part of me also wanted to touch you, taste your lips, cross the lines no one else had ever been able to, or at least I had hoped.

A hot shame spread through me as heat gathered between my hips and a blush stained my cheeks and an icy cold panic settled in my stomach and moved outward. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything but tremble.

I had always been fire and you… you were ice.

And in that moment, Lelouch, you broke me. You broke me completely when your soft lips pressed firmly against mine, bodies flesh against one another. Your arms tangled around me. I tasted the salt of tears, but I couldn't tell if they were yours or mine. It didn't matter anyways.

Your fingers trailed their way down to my breasts and you firmly cupped them. I numbly let you, too taken aback to think, to do anything other than let you use me.

You pushed me backward, I moved. You pressed me up against the thick wooden beam. My heart was thundering in my chest. You kissed my lifeless, frozen lips, biting harshly at the bottom one and I faintly registered the metallic hint of blood on my tongue. Lips and tongue trailed along the line of my jaw, leaving a train of sticky warm saliva behind and you moved to my neck.

Oh my god

Oh my god

Oh my god

This isn't happening

But it was. I faintly registered the silver puddles of moonlight scattered on the floor, and the refrain injector lying haphazardly on the floor where I had smacked it out of your hand.

An involuntary sob burst from me and your mouth found its way to my clothed nipples without losing a beat. Sucking through the cloth, they raised for you Lelouch. Your command was all they needed. It was all I needed to do anything. Because, and I hadn't known this fully until that day, I was completely at your mercy. I was yours.

"Kallen…" You mumbled quietly, seeming to taste the words. The light dusting of your voice over my skin sent an undeniable thrill through every nerve in my body. My knees grew week. You seemed to sense this, for you pushed down on my shoulders and I went down far too easily. My knees collided with the floor with a painful jolt, sharp sparks of pain raced through my legs, but I didn't really care. And neither did you.

I stared, blinking away tears that blurred my vision, unable to look away as you undid your pants. Without missing a beat, you plunged your hand down and pulled yourself out. Your long, slender fingers were grasped around your hardened cock only inches from my face.

"You've wanted this for so long, haven't you, Kallen?" You purred, voice hardened, distant. I knew I was only a tool, a pawn for you to play. I didn't respond, not that I needed to.

I wasn't inexperienced for sure, the year you had lost your memories of being Zero had seen to that. I had comforted many men and learned how to please them. I reached a shaking hand out mechanically and took your cock from you.

You put one hand on the wooden beam behind me to brace yourself and the other you tangled into my hair, pushing me forward. I complied, taking you into my mouth.

It would've been easy enough to disconnect had you just been any man, but you weren't any man. You were Lelouch and you were Zero.

Every sigh, grunt, or noise that you made brought me back sharply into my body and kept me of falling into the bitter sweet oblivion of forgetting who you were for a few moments.

You were getting close I could tell as I trailed my tongue knowingly around the tip of your cock and took you even deeper. You moaned, throwing back your head in abandon. You were lost to the world. And yet so was I.

The only thing that existed was our point of connection, the movement between my bobbing, sucking, and licking and you thrusting and your lightly shaking hand as it rested in my hair, stroking lightly.

I was wet… Wetter than I had ever been. I wanted you. Oh, how I wanted you inside of me, I wanted that connection, to fill that overwhelming emptiness. You moaned again and I moaned back.

Suddenly you were coming, hard, fast, your thick salty spray filled my mouth and I swallowed around you again and again until there was nothing left.

When you put your softened cock back in your pants, I looked up at you, expecting to see something in your violet eyes. Connection, lust, longing, satisfaction, something, anything at all. But your face was as devoid of emotion as it ever was, except for maybe a hint of sorrow and the flash of regret.

I looked back down, the icy coil around my stomach tightened nauseatingly. What had I done?

The emptiness was overwhelming and even though you stood right in front of me, I had never felt more alone in my life.

I stayed on my knees, incapable of moving as you turned from me wordlessly, straightening your clothes and you grabbed your mask.

You always had something clever to say, but you said nothing. Your eyes passed over me one last time, debauched, swollen lips and drying tears on my cheeks. Your eyes, they were distant. It was as though you were watching me through a pane of fogged up glass.

You paused for a fraction of a second as if you were going to say something, as if you almost debated cracking open for me, but you didn't. Maybe I had imagined it, because it was gone as soon as that evanescent moment appeared. You just turned and swept away.

Lelouch, I had always wanted you in the safety of knowing you would never be mine and as I watched you slip away in the darkness, mask back on and cape billowing around you, I knew I had been right. You never would be mine.

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