Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"
A/N: Struggling to get going on the "Beautiful Lost Girl" sequel. Completely stalled on "You Can Do Better" so here is some Faberry goodness to tide you over. Hope you like. These will all be pretty much unrelated one shots about music and how music makes you feel. This one is Faberry, the next one may be Pizes for all I know. Some of them will be romantic, some just friendship. I may even really get into some familial feelings, just whatever strikes me.
WARNING: Contains spoilers for "Hold Onto Sixteen" if you don't want to be spoiled, wait and watch the episode, then come back and read. I promise it will still be here.
Perfect Enough
"Alright guys," Mr. Schuester said calling the club to order, "With Nationals once again looming on the horizon which we really need to focus on for the next month, for most of you this will probably be your last weekly assignment before you graduate. So with that in mind I'm calling this week 'Glee-writes.' This is your chance to rewrite the past. Take any song that was sung in Glee, so long as it wasn't sung by you first, and redo it. Was there a solo you think you should have gotten? Take it. Did someone else do you favorite song first? Now's your time to do it."
X X X X X
"So, Quinn, did you have any thoughts about what you're going to do for the Glee assignment?" Rachel asked as the blonde was retrieving things from her locker.
Quinn smiled slightly and rolled her eyes into her locker. Three years ago she'd have thought Rachel was being a nosey, intrusive bitch who was trying to find out what Quinn was doing so that the diva could one up her. A year ago she'd have thought Rachel was a well meaning but annoying overachiever desperate for approval. Now… now they were friends, real friends, the kind that hung out in the hallways between classes and went to one another's houses even when it wasn't required for school, just for fun, and now Quinn knew that was just how Rachel was. She wanted everyone to do their very best because that, in turn, inspired her to do her very best. Admittedly, the girl had some very abrasive ways of going about it at times but that was just because she, as the only child of two gay men in a tiny homophobic town, had spent the majority of her life friendless and alone and didn't really know how to interact with people. "Yeah," Quinn said, "I'm pretty sure I already know which song I'm going to do, and thank you for the help that you are about to offer, but I don't need it."
Rachel laughed and smiled, "Am I that terribly predictable?"
Quinn smiled at her, "In this regard, yes, very, but you also have a very unpredictable side as well that once sent a girl to crack house…"
"I'm never going to live that down," Rachel grimaced to herself.
"…and," Quinn continued, "that showed up under the bleachers to tell me how much she missed me in Glee Club." Rachel smiled brightly. "I know I've said this before, Rachel but you genuinely surprised the hell out of me that day." That day had been the first tentative baby step in the building a genuine friendship between the girls that culminated in Rachel helping Quinn prepare for Sectionals and stopping the blond from doing something rather hurtful for which Quinn was actually very thankful. It turned out that was something that Quinn had really wanted in her life, someone who cared enough to stop her from doing something stupid. "What about you?" she asked.
"I am currently mentally compiling a short list to pick from," Rachel replied.
"Yeah, I'd say that describes it accurately," Quinn said, "A list of songs from the last three years that you didn't sing lead on originally could only be described as short."
Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. Quinn knew that Rachel wasn't mad, just upset that she couldn't deny the good natured ribbing. Where once that comment would have provoked a diva storm out, now it only warranted a glare and a comeback, "Perhaps I'll stuff a pillow under my shirt and sing 'It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World'."
Quinn couldn't help but laugh at that. Rachel's playful side was definitely Quinn's favorite discovery about the brunette. When the girl felt safe around someone, sure they weren't going to suddenly disappear from her life or suddenly become cruel, the girl could actually give as well as she gets. Quinn didn't know exactly how many people knew that side of Rachel, as far as she knew it was just herself and Rachel's dads… and probably Kurt. Finn almost certainly didn't, firstly because Finn wasn't exactly overwhelmingly clever but more importantly because their relationship was always so contentious. They were forever fighting about something and breaking up.
Although, in this last go around they hadn't ended with a bang so much as a whimper, neither of them had really broken up with the other, it was just kind of understood that it was over. They both loved one another but they really didn't have anything in common, they weren't a particularly good match, and soon life and greatly diverging futures would send them far apart. NYADA or not, Rachel was heading for New York within weeks of graduation, and with a lack of scholarships Finn was left with only a couple of options, take over Burt's auto shop and more or less resign himself to life in Lima or, as he'd contemplated recently, follow in his father's footsteps and join the Army and later go to college on the GI Bill. Strictly speaking the two were still dating in the sense that neither of them were seeing anyone else, but they hadn't been alone in a room together in over a month, much less on a date.
"Rachel, if you want one of the last images of you in this school to be looking as ridiculous as the Unwed Mothership Connection, then be my guest," Quinn said.
Rachel giggled her adorable little giggle and asked, "Is your mother working tonight?"
"It's Monday," Quinn replied knowing Rachel knew the implications.
"Will you be joining us for dinner, then? There's a new episode of Castle tonight," Rachel said excitedly. Brittany and Santana were great to hang out with but Santana didn't really do feelings and while Brittany was more than happy to offer up hugs and condolences when Quinn was upset, she didn't really understand some of the more complex things she was going through. Rachel was the first person that Quinn ever felt like she could really open up to. She couldn't really explain why that was except that Rachel made her feel like it was okay to feel. She'd never had that growing up. The Fabray Household had always been, and to some extent still was, all about appearance, never about substance. The Berry House was the complete opposite of that. There was no pretense there. The Berry men insisted that Quinn call them by their first names and there was no topic that was off limits if someone needed to talk, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. Rachel also had a way of listening without judging that was new to Quinn as well. Conversely, Quinn provided something that Rachel had felt sorely lacking as well, female companionship. For as much love as there was between them, the three most important people in Rachel's life were all gay men, and sometimes a girl just needs to talk to another girl. Her relationship with Mercedes had largely been superficial and hadn't ever really recovered over the girls' squabble over the lead in West Side Story. Rachel and Quinn bonded over a lot of things, parental abandonment, the pressures of expectations, deep seated feelings of inadequacy, as well as less serious things, movies, music, and the awesomeness of Nathan Fillion, he is ruggedly handsome after all.
"Are you going to give me dirty looks after Leroy and I have meat products in your presence?"
"I cannot swear that there will not be involuntary facial expressions on my part, but I certainly would never judge you for your dietary habits… even if they are unethical and unhealthy," Rachel smirked.
X X X X X
The next day in Glee, Brittany and Santana lead off the Glee-writes by doing a duet of "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" complete with an amazing reenactment of the final dance scene from Dirty Dancing with Santana as Baby and Brittany as Johnny. No one was particularly eager to follow that, but Sam strummed out an acoustic rendition of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" more in keeping The Beatles original than Kurt's rendition.
When he was done, Quinn shot her hand in the air, and said, "Mr. Shue, I'd like to go next."
The teacher yielded the floor to her saying, "Okay, Quinn, what do you have for us?"
The blonde took to the floor and said, "For those of you who weren't here our first year, in the first girls versus boys contest, the girls mashed up Katrina and the Waves' 'Walking on Sunshine' with 'Halo' by Beyonce and to be honest with you, I wasn't entirely please with the way it worked out, so I'm going to do 'Halo' by itself, because… just because it's honestly one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite singers."
"Sounds good," the teacher said.
Quinn nodded to the band and they started playing the song. Quinn glanced back and caught sight of Rachel one leg crossed over the other, leaning forward in her seat, chin resting on the palm of her hand, and a big encouraging smile on her face. Quinn couldn't help but smile back at her. "Remember those walls I built? Well, baby they're tumbling down," Quinn sang and couldn't help but realize the truth of that statement, "And they didn't even put up a fight. They didn't even make up a sound." That part wasn't really so true, her walls put up a great deal of resistance. "I found a way to let you in," Quinn reflexive looked at Rachel, diverting her attention when she realized what she was doing, but it was enough to plant the idea in her head. Had she subconsciously picked this to sing to Rachel? "But I never really had a doubt, standing in the light of your halo, I got my angel now." No, she thought, she wasn't singing to Rachel because she didn't even like Rachel like that.
"It's like I've been awakened, every rule I had you breakin'. It's the risk that I'm takin'," There was another line that seemed to hit home but she wasn't entirely sure why. "I ain't never gonna shut you out." Once again, her attention went back to the pint sized brunette, who was smiling even bigger than before she started. She assumed that meant she was doing a good job with the song. She didn't know. She'd been distracted with her thoughts. It was a good thing Quinn knew the song so well. "Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace," Now Quinn was starting to associate everything with Rachel. Yes, Rachel was a known hugger and Quinn had experienced more than a few of them over the last few months, but she also couldn't help but think more of the emotional embrace that she felt from the girl as well, the freedom to feel what she felt. "Baby I can see your halo. You know you're my saving grace." That was the line that got Quinn. Rachel had been her saving grace. The diva had saved her from doing something incredibly selfish that would have done far more harm than good… if any at all. She had saved Quinn from falling down that hole into an incredibly dark place.
Realization hit Quinn in the face like a hard swung shovel and she decided to hit the next line hard, "You're everything I need and more. It's written all over your face. Baby I can feel your halo. Pray it won't fade away. I can feel your halo halo halo. I can see your halo halo halo. I can feel your halo halo halo. I can see your halo halo halo." Rachel was still smiling at her which was good. It wasn't her stage smile either. It was her I'm Proud of You smile. Quinn pretty much gave up any pretense of singing this for anything but for Rachel's benefit. If she was going to embarrass herself by getting up in front of the club and confessing to having feelings so very publically, she was at least going to make sure Rachel understood it. "Hit me like a ray of sun burning through my darkest night," Quinn smiled again at once again how appropriate seemingly everything in this song was to her situation. "You're the only one that I want. Think I'm addicted to your light."
Quinn was aware that there were other people in the choir room but at the moment she might have sworn that she and Rachel were the only two people in the whole world. "I swore I'd never fall again but this don't even feel like falling," In fact Quinn couldn't even remember when it had happened. She was pretty sure her feelings for Rachel hadn't changed since the beginning of the song, so that could only mean that she had already started falling for her and hadn't even realized it. "Gravity can't forget to pull me back to the ground again. Feels like I've been awakened. Every rule I had you breakin'. The risk that I'm takin'," One verse ago, Quinn didn't even realize the risk that she was taking but now she was keenly aware of it. She was risking everything really… for the chance at something more. She hadn't made a conscious decision to take that risk, and it's a good thing as she likely never would have made it, but in that moment she was happy she had done it. Since she finally knew what she was doing she definitely wanted to drive this line home, "I'm never gonna shut you out. Everywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby I can see your halo. You know you're my saving grace. You're everything I need and more. It's written all over your face. Baby I can feel your halo. Pray it won't fade away."
"I can feel your halo halo halo. I can see your halo halo halo. I can feel your halo halo halo. I can see your halo halo halo," Quinn finished the song and the band played the outro. No one moved. No one clapped or cheered. No one made a move to be the next one to sing. The atmosphere was too thick with emotion and unanswered questions for anyone to dare move. After a minute that felt more like thirty realization about what she'd just done began to sink in on Quinn and her instincts told her to run. She'd made an idiot of herself and Rachel didn't feel the same. How could she? Quinn had tormented her for years. Being friends with the diva after that was miracle enough in itself, but Quinn couldn't be happy with that. She'd screwed up. Her muscles tensed to flee the room and her eyes shifted to the door, but just as she was about to bolt Quinn felt a warm, gentle touch on her forearm and her eyes darted towards the sensation. There on her right arm, just above the wrist was a small, very unmanly, very familiar hand. She followed the hand to the wrist it was connected to and from there to the arm, the shoulder, the neck, the jaw, the mouth… those soft, full lips that she wanted so very much to kiss, but couldn't, not yet… maybe not ever. She couldn't look any further up, lest she see rejection in the brunette's big expressive brown eyes.
In the quietest voice that she'd ever heard from the girl, Rachel said, "Did you mean it?" Quinn swallowed hard; still not able to meet Rachel's eyes she just nodded her head a little. Being a homeless pregnant teenager hadn't been this scary, all her defenses stripped away, standing emotionally exposed to all her friends and the girl that she, what, liked? That didn't seem to cover everything she was feeling. Loved? Had she seriously gone from friends to like to love in the course of one three minute song? Before she could answer that question, Rachel disrupted her runaway train of thought, "I guess that means it's my turn to sing."
Of course Rachel would have to sing out a response. Quinn didn't know what she was thinking looking for a straight answer, no pun intended. Her heart was jack hammering in her chest. Whether it was acceptance, rejection, or reciprocation, she'd have her answer soon enough. The brunette quickly talked to Brad and then to the band. Due to the nature of the assignment, songs they had done before, no one really needed sheet music, and soon enough they started playing and Quinn thought at first that she was hearing things, that there was no way they were actually playing the song that Finn had sang at his mother and step-father's wedding. "Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'. Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying," Quinn was dreaming, she was sure of it, "She's so beautiful… and I tell her every day." Quinn sat stunned, was this real life? "Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me and it's so, it's so, sad to think that she don't see what I see but every time she asks me do I look ok, I say," Rachel was right in front of her looking dead at her. This was really happening. "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, cause you're amazing, just the way you are." A watery eyed Quinn broke out a huge smile right on cue. Rachel smiled back as she sang, "And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while, because girl you're amazing… just the way you are." The reality of the situation sat in at last, Rachel not only felt the same but was singing a song that essentially said that she thought Quinn was great as she was that there was no standard that Quinn needed to adhere to. Rachel really was perfect. Well, maybe not perfect but perfect enough.
Rachel threw her a flirty smile and sang, "Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she let me. Her laugh, her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy. She's so beautiful, and I tell her every day. Oh, you know, you know, you know, I'd never ask you to change. If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same." The tears that had been pooling in her eyes for a long, long minute now finally escaped as she remembered a conversation with Puck about "perfect things" from back in her dark days, a conversation that she was pretty sure she'd never relayed to Rachel but from the inflection of the words she knew that Rachel was just reciting a line from a song. She actually meant it. Rachel just got her. "So, don't even bother asking if you look ok. You know I'll say," Rachel knelt in the floor and looked up in utter adoration, "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change, cause you're amazing, just the way you are. And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while because girl you're amazing, just the way you are." Rachel pushed herself up out of the floor and up to her feet. "The way you are," She grabbed Quinn by the hands, "the way you are." The tiny brunette yanked the blonde to her feet bringing Quinn flush up against her. The diva threw all of her considerable vocal might behind the last line, "Girl you're amaaaziiiing… just the way you are."
Later on, both girls would claim to have initiated their first kiss. In actuality no one really knew, but it was deep and passionate and lasted for another one of those minutes that seemed like thirty, and when they broke apart breathlessly, Quinn said, "This is completely crazy and I don't even know how this happened. When I stood up to sing, I had no idea that I was singing for you or that I felt this way, but Rachel, I'm in love with you."
"And I'm in love with you, Quinn," the brunette said smiling bigger than anyone had ever seen.
"I'm not perfect, Rach."
"Nor am I, but we're perfect together." Quinn just continued smiling and rested her forehead against Rachel's. "It is entirely unfair that we're only figuring this out now with only two months before I move to New York. I now really, really hope you get into NYU," Rachel said.
"I got my acceptance letter yesterday."
A/N: Quinn's Song, "Halo" by Beyonce. Rachel's Song, "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars.