Rating: PG
Characters: Nick, Blaine, Sebastian
Summary:
Warnings: Talk of depression and past self-harm
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this fic.
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BUMP IN THE ROAD:
Sebastian slowly opened his eyes, glancing to the clock on the nightstand before he groaned and rolled onto his side. His arm lay almost limply splayed across the mattress and it felt heavy when he tried to move it. But it was intact, that was all he needed to know.
His dreams had been growing steadily worse over the past few months despite the antidepressants he was actually taking and the ongoing support from Nick. They were even planning their wedding. But in the afterglow of the dreams he had just escaped, none of that seemed to matter to Sebastian. As he carefully moved his fingers, just to remind himself they still worked, he thought of the sights his own imagination had dreamed up.
Curled up with a million cuts in his arms as Nick approached with a smile on his face that swiftly disappeared.
Lying with his head in Nick's lap only to realise dream-Nick was dead.
Running through rivers of blood and tears before falling and drowning.
Sebastian shuddered slightly before he curled up smaller and slowly surrendered himself back to sleep.
Days haunted by dreams weren't worth his time.
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Nick knocked on the bedroom door as he walked into the dark room. He'd already been to his classes for the day and had collected Sebastian's work from his professors. This was the reason why he was so surprised to find, at five thirty in the afternoon, that Sebastian was still sound asleep. He dumped his bag and Sebastian's notes on the ottoman at the end of the bed before crawling across the mattress to curl up against Sebastian, carefully winding his arms around his fiancé's waist.
"Wake up, sleepyhead," Nick said as he pressed a kiss to Sebastian's neck. The boy squirmed and batted at whatever was touching him before settling back into the covers. Nick frowned, lifting a hand to check that Sebastian didn't have a fever but his forehead was cool. He glanced around the room but everything was as Nick had left it that morning. He sat up and carefully shook Sebastian's shoulder.
"Come on, Seb, time to wake up. It's almost dinner time. It's your night to cook, remember?"
Nick felt his heart rate rise when he garnered no response from Sebastian. He pressed two fingers to the pulse in Sebastian's neck, counting the beats as he timed himself on his watch. Pulse was steady and strong, and Sebastian's skin was its normal albeit pale shade. Nick carefully turned Sebastian onto his back and continued trying to wake him. He pressed kisses to his lips, cheeks, nose, forehead and under his eyes. Nick tried tickling him and pinching the tips of his fingers all while calling his name until his eyes finally flickered open.
"Nick?" Sebastian groaned. "What's wrong?"
"It's almost six o'clock at night, Seb; you've been asleep for about twenty hours now. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Sebastian mumbled as he turned onto his side again.
"Do you want something to eat?"
"No."
"Water or anything?"
"I'm fine, Nick."
Nick's breath caught in his throat but he didn't say anything as he climbed off the bed and headed back out into the apartment, closing the bedroom door behind him. He went into the kitchen and set about making the spaghetti and meatballs Sebastian was meant to be cooking. He boiled the pasta and browned the mince for the meatballs before he headed back into the bedroom to try rousing Sebastian again.
"Seb, dinner's ready," Nick called from the doorway. "Spaghetti and meatballs, just the way you like it."
Sebastian grumbled something into the pillow but didn't make any sign of moving so Nick closed the door again before he collapsed on the couch. Two plates of food sat on the coffee table atop the piles of notes and bills but Nick couldn't eat. He needed to talk to someone.
Pulling out his phone, Nick tapped in the only number he had memorised besides his own and Sebastian's.
"Hey Nick, how's the wedding planning going?" Blaine asked brightly.
"I can't get him out of bed."
"What do you mean?"
Nick felt his throat start to close. "Blaine, I can't get him out of bed. I can barely even wake him up. He just won't do anything – he hasn't ever done this before. I can't even get him to eat – I can always get him to eat, always."
"Woah, okay. Has anything happened in the past couple of days? Did something set him off?"
"I don't think so." Nick ran a hand through his hair. "He's been asleep almost an entire day, almost solidly."
"He's still on his meds?"
"Yeah, and he hasn't cut in months, not since last year some time."
"Look, sometimes stuff like this is going to happen. It's just a part of the depression and there's not a lot you can do. Fill up a water bottle for him and keep it next to the bed and just give him some space. He's probably just worked himself too hard or something but I'm sure he'll be okay."
"What if he isn't? What if something bad's happened that he's not telling me?"
"Nick, you just said it yourself; Sebastian has been a lot better lately. He'll come to you when he's ready. You can't keep pushing him. I know you're scared and you want to help. But he might not need you for every little thing anymore."
"Gee, thanks," Nick said sarcastically.
"Okay, think of it this way: Sebastian had to learn to let go of the things he kept to himself, now it's your turn to learn to let go of helping him through every little thing."
Nick glanced to the closed bedroom door and nodded slowly. "I think I understand… I'll see how I go. Thanks Blaine."
"You'll be alright, Nick. And so will Seb."
"I know."
"I'll keep telling you anyway," Blaine said with a soft laugh. "You can always call me or Kurt. You're not alone in this."
"What the hell would I do without you?" Nick laughed.
"You'd have managed," Blaine answered, the smile evident in his voice. "I'll talk to you later."
"Okay, see ya."
Nick hung up before he heard the bedroom door creak open. He looked up to see a sleepy Sebastian rubbing at his eyes.
"Hey, you hungry?" Nick asked quietly.
"Yeah…" Sebastian answered as he shuffled forward. "It looks cold though…"
Nick looked to the plates of food, reaching a hand towards them and laughing when he realised Sebastian was right.
"Whoops, guess I should've put it in the microwave or something," Nick ran a hand through his hair.
"You alright?" Sebastian asked as he sat down beside Nick, wrapping an arm around his waist.
"Just worried about you," Nick answered as he snuggled into Sebastian. "But I know you'll be okay."
"Is okay good?" Sebastian asked as he rested his head on top of Nick's.
"Okay is wonderful," Nick said with a smile as he turned to kiss Sebastian gently.
Blaine was right as usual – they would be okay. It was just a bump in the road and Nick knew they could get past it.
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A/N: Had to slip that StarKid reference in there, couldn't resist after the day I've had. But I hope you liked this, I don't really know where it came from. I think it's about time for Nick to start letting go again though. I think after the wedding there won't be much else to write but if you have any suggestions, let me know and they'll go on my list (yes, there's a list :p). Anyway, I'm off to get some much needed sleep. Thanks for reading –Frankie xoxo