Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, I do not own Gundam 00, nor any other anime for that matter.
Author's Note: I'd like to thank my good friend Emerald for looking this over for me. I felt very inspired by the odd relationship between Tieria and Lock-On and found myself doing a lot of research into their interactions and the origins of their characters, neither of which could really be inserted into this fic. It took Emerald's guidance to ground me and make sure I didn't go off on some metaphorical tangent about the Nadleeh of the Navajo or the Vedas scripture. So yeah, thanks Emerald!
At any rate, in an attempt to hide from my fanfics of years past, I have created a new account with new writing abilities and new stories. I hope you enjoy my first!
Two-Spirit
In the beginning there was Veda.. I suppose it would only make sense that the end involved Veda as well. I recognized the minute I stepped into the cockpit that this was going to be a resolution – something had to change. Perhaps that is why, when I saw the bullet creeping towards me, I didn't bother to move. Maybe, just maybe, if I allowed something to puncture my heart, a bit of Veda, my old home, could fill the vacuum inside my soul that had been torturing me for so long.
My thinking was not logical, but I was only human after all.
The day that Veda locked me out, I stayed in that artificial womb for hours, trying to figure out what I had done wrong. I had followed the plan, done everything I was told, yet Veda still would not allow me access. I was rejected, marooned upon a desert island of human civilization. Surely this had to be some kind of glitch – but Veda didn't have any glitches, did it?
"Come on, Tieria. It's time to eat." This was the second time today that Lock-On had called through the door.
I did not have time to direct any of my concentration toward abating my hunger. "Allelujah came by earlier on a similar mission. Why don't you entertain him with your talk of food?"
"Oh, you're way more fun than Allelujah." The man was an idiot, a complete fool. "You do have to eat some point, don't you? Or do you just eat to humor us and observe our behavior?"
I snorted and the sound amplified, knocking around metallic walls of my former home.
Lock-On peeked his head in through the hatch. "What's on your mind?"
"I've followed Veda's orders explicitly up until this point, have I not?" I glared at him, daring him to tell me otherwise.
He smirked. "To a fault."
"So then why?" I didn't want to explain my thought processes to him – it was too aggravating to hear spoken aloud. "It simply makes no sense!"
This made him laugh out loud, and I couldn't help but notice a dimple that appeared at the center of his right cheek. "You sound like you just got a time out." He tossed me a roll and it floated into my hands – I could never fault the man for his aim. "Look, don't worry. So we don't have Veda: We know the plan and we have the greatest tactical forecaster money and morals can buy. We'll be fine without it."
The roll crunched in my fist and I threw it back at him, hoping it would hit his head (it would have hit his shoulder, had he not caught it). "Take your food and leave me be!" Being Lock-On, he chose to eat the roll himself and stay right where he was.
Even though I was doing my best to focus elsewhere, I could feel his eyes, hear the scrape of his teeth on the crust of the roll. "Okay, what's cooking in that brain of yours?"
"To express what I am currently thinking would be pointless, as it would provide no benefit to you, even if you could understand." Veda's useless red lights hid the pink tint that formed on my face.
"That's not the point. The reason why we humans talk about our feelings is so that we can have them out there for the world to see. You don't need to deal with all the hurt yourself. So, what are you feeling?"
Feelings? I didn't think I could begin to quantify feelings. How does one describe that sensation. And so instead of feeling, I spoke. "I am an innovator, created for the sole purpose of fulfilling the plans programmed into Veda by Aeolia Schenberg. There is no reason for me to continue living without a directive."
"Well, that's kind of stupid, don't you think?"
"What?" I looked up at him again – this time he had both dimples out in the open.
"You're alive aren't you? And you are the one who decides to listen to Veda, right?"
I nodded. "I am meant only to listen to Veda."
"Don't you get it? The only person who can define your purpose for living is you. You're supposed to be all evolved and stuff, but you still haven't figured that out?"
Somehow, his words put a smile on my face. "So simple. How very human."
"The only difference between you and us humans is Veda. Now that you don't have that, you might as well get out here and eat with the rest of us lowly ground-walkers." This time when he offered me both a drink and his hand, I took them.
According to Veda, I was replaceable – my mission was over. The plan to save humanity, the plan for which I was created, did not include me in its resolution. "Aoelia gave us Gundams so we could save the world, and I chose a world with you in it. I believe my choice was right." That is what Neil Dylandy said to me. By sacrificing his eye, he made me human. His blood coursed through my veins, turning on portions of my soul that had never been active. Suddenly, I cared – Lock-On gave me a heart and filled it with himself.
And when he died, there was nothing; a black hole was born within me. It was a void that could not be filled, no matter what I tried. In my dreams I searched for him, some fragment of a memory that would ease the loneliness, but all I could see were empty cockpits and all the promises I failed to keep. I didn't want to be human or to have these feelings Lock-On wanted so much for me to have, if it meant having them without him.
If you want everything, you have to be willing to give everything up – I wanted Lock-On or some peace of mind.