In Death a Life
By Serenity Pendragon
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
Am I dreaming? Or is this reality? He wasn't sure, couldn't tell anymore. The dull throbbing pain that had kept him alert for the past three hours was gone now, and a blessed numbness had permeated throughout his body. He couldn't even feel the cold anymore. Am I dead? Possibly. Probably. After all being inside an exploding Gundam wasn't exactly the best way to stay alive. He wondered how he had managed to last so long, he was so tired. I can't die yet.
Why?
The voice echoed back in his head. He answered back without thinking.
The mission…
Is complete
That was true, yes. But…
The enemy?
Destroyed.
All of them? Had he done that?
My comrades?
Are safe.
Everything was good then. Why was he holding on to life so hard? It had brought him nothing but deep despair and a cold icy feeling in his chest where once his heart had beat. Why was life so important? He had a purpose to fulfill, true but…
I am a Soldier.
You are a boy.
I am invincible.
You are human.
That voice, it wouldn't let him think. Wouldn't leave him alone. It shattered every truth he had held onto for so long, and left a large gapping hole in its wake.
Who ARE you?
Who are you?
I am…
He couldn't answer, couldn't remember. He was somebody important, someone with a purpose. Wasn't he? Or was all that just a lie? Something he had told himself in order to survive each day.
For all that you have done, have you accomplished anything?
He didn't know, couldn't answer. What had he done? He had killed thousands, yes, but all for a just cause. He was protecting those who could not protect themselves.
Are you?
Yes.
Why should YOU be the one to protect them?
Because I am strong.
Are you?
…Leave me alone!!
His breath was coming in ragged gasps as he struggled to leave the dark sanctuary and the voice that echoed round his mind. He was beginning to feel the cold around him once more, and the sticky warmth of his own blood.
What will you do, if you live? Will you continue on your path?
I will…
What. What would he do?
Those you cared for the most are gone, only your pain of loss and lust for revenge are left.
Leave me alone!
He was desperate now to escape the prison of his mind, but the voice would not leave him be.
Is nothing left of the person you once were?
No!
Where is the boy who wanted nothing more than to live in peace?
Stop!
Where is the young man who had so many dreams?
Please Stop!
He was crying now, he could feel the tears flow down his face.
Can you remember your family?
No more!
Have blood and death warped you so much?
Why are you doing this to me?!
Are you even human anymore?
…No.
But I will be again.
END
This has been another re-write by your friendly neighborhood Serenity. Both this story and 'To be False' were absolute crap. I wrote them both in the space of an hour and never bothered to do some serious proofing. So here you go.