Hugs
A Final Fantasy VI Fanfic
(Disclaimer: I own nothing from Squaresoft, though if I did, I'd adopt Gau immediately.)
One-shot
Terra did not usually have to resort to this, but she found she had no choice; pressing the pillow over her head, she burrowed deep into her blankets. Unfortunately, the shuffling of blankets and sheets still continued, and Terra sighed inwardly as her eyes flicked open. Sitting up, she glared at the twitching form of Sabin, who appeared to be enjoying yet another vivid dream as he mumbled and shoved more blanket off himself. Was he trying to Blitz the bed? Terra exhaled slowly, and pushed her own blankets aside. She padded towards Sabin silently, and rearranged the blankets for him again. He muttered something incoherent before drifting off to his own world once more.
She didn't really mind staying awake as much this time. She wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway; she'd drunk what felt like a lifetime supply of tonics during battle today. The enemies had been attracted to the scent of her white cape relic, a complete mystery until they discovered a large potion stain on it during dinner. Remembering how the potion had gotten on it in first place made her glance warily towards the bed opposite Sabin.
The young king of Figaro had a very child-like innocence in his face when he slept. This was annoying, because it made it difficult for Terra to feel too worked up over the fact Edgar had accidentally forgotten to put away a bottle of potion and had left it on a chair, half full, in the airship. (Well, it wasn't intentional, Terra reminded herself.) Sabin had been wearing the white cape when he'd sat on it unknowingly. He'd put the white cape in their storage room, meaning to clean off the stain a little later, but Terra had just taken it blindly.
She blinked. Without even meaning to, she'd somehow ended up by Edgar's side. When the king slept, he looked different. The usual crease between his brows was smooth, and his slightly open mouth and soft lashes made him look almost unbearably vulnerable. After looking at his sleeping expression for a while, she gently tucked the top fold of the blanket under his chin. She felt strange around Edgar, a feeling she couldn't quite name or grasp. Its innocuous tendrils drifted somewhere between wanting to know him better and vice versa, and feeling happy just being near him...
'General Leo, what is this...?'
Her eyes misted as she turned from Edgar's bed, frowning slightly. If this was love, it wasn't anything like the love she felt towards the children... her thoughts came to a halt as she realised the fourth bed had no occupant.
Where did that boy go? She hadn't heard him leave at all. She swept across the inn and opened the door slowly, wincing at the creak. Outside, the air seemed fresher and sharper than usual. The sky was a dark canopy of ink, and the few clouds surrounding the moon were dusted in a murky grey. Terra snuck around Thamasa until she finally found Gau leaning against the fence outside the Relic shop, his arms crossed and head bowed. She tread on the grass as quietly as she could, but Gau didn't even have to turn around to know.
"Terra."
"Are you alright?" She ventured, and he gave a non-committal shrug.
Terra carefully settled herself next to him, not too close. She felt as if she were intruding upon a scene, where a melancholy boy had been lost in silent rumination under the moon. There didn't seem to be a place for her, but something instinctual compelled her to stay.
She glanced at his brooding form, and gave him a few minutes before she folded her arms as well, and nudged him with her elbow gently, bringing him back to the fact that she was there.
"What were you thinking about, Gau?"
She prompted again. His eyes darted towards her and back, guardedly, before speaking.
"Gau... Gau thinking... about father."
Terra felt a deep jolt in her heart. A few days ago, Sabin, Terra, Edgar and Gau had met an old crackpot who had turned out to be Gau's father. They had made, quite unintentionally, the terrible discovery that Gau had been abandoned on the Veldt as a baby. Just the thought of abandoning any of her children on a random field, defenceless and all alone, made Terra feel horribly cold. She couldn't even condone the thought of it.
But Gau didn't resent his father at all; in fact, he had been glad to know his father was still alive, despite it all. He had said, in the softest voice, that he was happy. He hadn't said a single word about it after the ordeal, however.
He seemed to be waiting for her to respond. She gave a slight nod, and he continued.
"Gau thinking... why did father throw Gau away? After long think... Gau know that father think Gau is not human. Gau think father is right..."
Terra's mouth fell open. The truth was, she and the Figaro twins had assumed Gau hadn't quite fully absorbed what his father thought about him. But now Terra knew, with a swift rush of unpleasant shock and anguish, that Gau had understood far more than any of them had thought. Perhaps that had always been the case, but Gau simply struggled too much with words.
She found herself speechless, and hated herself for it, but he didn't seem to mind. Instead he talked on.
"Gau know he is not normal. I... I'm like animal."
Terra finally found her voice.
"No, you're not."
"It doesn't matter, Gau knows the truth. Not like human... more like animal."
"Gau, stop it-"
Without warning, Gau shot up to his feet, and he stood rigidly over Terra. His eyes glinted angrily in the moonlight as he spat, "Stop feeling sorry for Gau!"
Terra stared, her eyes widening as he continued to seethe.
"Why? Why can't you just leave me alone? It's annoying! Gau know he like an animal, you know too! Why must you lie to Gau? Just because you feel sorry for him? Gau knows what Gau- no, I know what I am. You all enjoy trying to dress Gau up, like me some kind of doll. But that change nothing. What I am inside is still- animal. As if a thirteen year old of Gau's age don't know! Gau try to say but you all interrupt. And father-"
His voice hitched; Terra could see he hadn't meant to get so emotional, and his tears seemed to shame him. Roughly swiping under his eyes, Gau said savagely, "Actually, Gau glad he not like human, because if being human is being like you all, then G-Gau would rather not be like o-one, I-I think Gau would ra-th-ther b-be-"
His jaw locked and he shut up. He turned his head away from Terra, his eyes downcast. His ears were a shade of pale pink under the light of the moon. It took Terra a moment to realise why her hands were shaking...
...Of all the people Gau could have accused of being too human.
Terra stood up abruptly, and took a step towards him.
"S-sorry-" He managed to stutter before a sharp slap sounded in the still air. Gau's fingers trembled as they reached towards his cheek. Terra's own fingers tingled. With all her anger spent in that one action, however, a powerful surge of affection filled its place.
Dropping to her knees, she wrapped her arms around Gau. He backed away from her touch at first, but she held him gently to her, rubbing warm circles at his bare back soothingly. Her warmth and arms wore away his agitation, and he relaxed within her embrace. Finally, he spoke.
"Wh-what... what T-Terra doing?" He stammered. She held him a little closer before speaking herself.
"It's called... a hug, Gau."
She brought him down to his knees as well, and let go of him. Gau crossed his legs, averting his eyes from hers, but Terra didn't mind. She sat next to him, almost touching him, and pushed her legs against the fence. Clasping her hands around her bent knees, she looked up at the sky. A tiny star had appeared, just next to the moon. She watched it shine brightly for about a minute.
"Gau... really sorry." He said in a small voice, and she could tell he'd realised his mistake.
"It's not just about your father, is it?" Terra said quietly, "You've felt... angry towards all of us. How long have you kept this in for?"
He shifted uncomfortably before mumbling, "... Just few weeks..."
"Gau, if any of us have ever acted like you're not human for whatever reason, then it's only because we're nervous. We're united in one goal, but we don't really know each other that well. Still, I believe we're all good people. If each of us give an effort, we'll all learn to cope with each other. Look at Cyan and Celes, they're getting along together fine. We're just not used to each other."
Gau bit his lip. There was a short silence before Terra poked him in the side of his ribs. He gave out a choked laugh and clutched his side, looking at Terra, bewildered. Terra's eyes reflected the star above, twinkling.
"Ah, now I know that you're ticklish. That's something new."
A small smile lit Gau's features. For around an hour, the two spoke about themselves, who they wanted to know more about in their party and what they already knew about each person. She learned about his favourite monsters on the Veldt and laughed at Gau's impression of Sabin the first time they met. He listened to how she had first met Locke with wide eyes, and asked eagerly about her magic. At one point, she teased Gau about how she had caught Relm sketching him quite often these days, which pushed Gau to 'casually' recall Edgar laying himself prostrate on the floor in apology for the white cape incident earlier that evening. (She regretted teasing him after that.)
Eventually, Terra glanced at the sky, which was a shade lighter than it had been before.
"Gau, we'd better go to sleep now. You're a growing boy."
Gau's nose crinkled.
"Gau not one of Terra's children!"
"I'll try to remember that."
Her smile softened as he laughed.
"Gau... maybe you're not quite what we call 'normal'. None of our team can be called 'normal', if you think about it. So don't worry so much about being different. When it comes to being human, you may think you're an animal, but I'm not fully human, either. So let's learn together to find out what it means to be human. What do you say?"
His eyes met hers, his smile broadening as he gave a nod.
A few steps from the inn, he paused in his tracks. She turned to him inquisitively as he bit his lip.
"Can... Can Gau...?" He fidgeted a little, looking embarrassed. Terra waited, and he held his hands up awkwardly.
In response, she let out a warm laugh, and spread her arms out. Hesitance disappearing, he brightened and practically tackled her, hugging her tightly.
She did not have to see his face to know how much happiness was coursing through him.
-FIN-
A/N: This is a rewritten version of the first fanfic I ever submitted to in 2001, a week or so from my 14th birthday. I had written fanfiction prior to this (terribly written pieces of delusion that are buried amidst old and abandoned sites of cyber-wreckage, hopefully never to be unearthed) but it still remains one of the earliest fics I was willing to expose to the net.
It was, without a doubt, crappy as heck. The pacing was off, characterisation was strewn all over the place, the format continually stabbed someone's eyes with pins and content-wise it was like an attempted dip into some depth that came screaming out like a rabid Gau fangirl who had no idea what she was doing. Some of the sentences were prizes, too; "the enemies had delighted in continually biting her and sucking away her hit points today", "She rubbed her eyes and blinked several times, knowing that there wouldn't be any difference but doing so anyway", and here's a real gem: "She felt a strange feeling around Edgar". Oh really, you felt a feeling? Good grief.
In any case, despite the glaring flaws, I still had a lot of heart for this particular fanfic. For one thing, Gau could use all the love he can get, and secondly - though I recognise the execution was awful the first-time round - the backbone of the story was one I found precious. So I decided, after a decade, 'Hugs' deserved a rewrite. Thanks for reading. :)