What I think might have passed through Narcisse's mind when Elizabeth told him Catherine didn't want anything to do with him. He didn't know she couldn't do anything without Charles's signature cause he thought she was still regent.
WARNING: Season 4 spoilers!
Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Reign ):
One-shot (really short too sorry)
"I wrote specifically to Catherine de Medici and I haven't heard a word, it's almost as if she doesn't want you back." The English Queen smirked before sauntering off.
Lord Narcisse stood there staring after her angry and confused for the most part. Queen Elizabeth had written to Catherine? Why hadn't she responded? Maybe the letter had been intercepted or lost oversea. No…she would have known if something had happened to the letter, therefore Catherine had received the message but not replied. Maybe she was negotiating with the Privy Council or Charles, but if she was regent why would she need their permission? Charles of course would have to give it thumbs up but last time he checked they'd been on good terms so he couldn't see why that would be a problem either. He searched his mind for any other explanation but could find none…was it true she didn't want him back?
True, he had left to be with Lola but they hadn't parted with bad blood. Surely she wasn't angry at him, why would she be? It wasn't as if she had feelings for him…right? No. He would've known if she had been angry for she wasn't one to hide her displeasure. What other reason would she want him to keep his distance? Maybe she had found a replacement thinking that he wouldn't be returning…no but surely if she'd done that she'd have rubbed it in his face. Did she even need a reason? She probably just wanted to rid herself of him. If she didn't grant him permission to return to France not only would he be stuck in England but he would never see her again.
All those nights in the tower after Lola's death drowning in his own sorrow he found one small comfort in the fact that some day he would see Catherine again. The first few weeks after Lola's beheading he had only thought of Lola and John and how he should have been better. He thought of how he might have been able to save her and wondered if John was alright, if he was back in France in his Grandmother's embrace. This is when he started to think about Catherine, it had just started as a worry for John's safety but then it'd turned into something more. He had tried to imagine little John cradled in her arms as it gave him some comfort to think…or at least hope the boy was back in France. Then one night while trying to imagine John and Catherine in the nursery he'd been trying to imagine the exact shade of Catherine's curls and that's when it all started.
He began to carve out every detail of Catherine in his thoughts, each golden strand of hair, every freckle on her face. Sometimes he could almost see her, standing across the room smiling sadly. He knew it was wrong to think of another woman so soon after his wife's death but he couldn't help it. He hadn't only felt lust for Catherine but love…there could have been something between them if only she knew how to let him in. He tried not to think about the times when tears would roll down her porcelain cheeks and her large hazel eyes would sparkle with tears. He also tried to avoid letting his mind drift to her long pleasure filled moans, her arched back and eyes blazing with passion. He had spent night after lonely night thinking of the Queen Regent and had put every effort into getting back to French Court…back to her.
Once Gideon had paid him a visit and informed him that his stepson was in fact not in France he had panicked, was the boy alright? Once being assured of John's safety Elizabeth had so mercifully released him from the tower. After that his one goal had been to return to France with John. Of course he could only do this if Catherine signed the documents to his return. That brought them back to their current predicament, did Catherine really want nothing to do with him?
All those nights of thinking of her soft hair and guarded heart only to be left with the realization she didn't give a damn about him? That couldn't be true, when they'd parted ways he'd spared a last look at her to find those large tears rolling down her cheeks. She had turned away from him and bolted down the hall to her chambers. Had it all been a show? Did she think of him as a mere pawn in her large game of chess? No, that couldn't be it she had said that she loved him, had that changed? Did he love her too?
All he wanted was to find out that there had been a mistake and Catherine hadn't known at all. Or that she'd been trying to bring him back…trying like he had been. He wanted to arrive at French Court and have her smiling face greet him. She made life so much more bearable, she was the only reason he hadn't given up just yet. Even with Lola gone and John parentless, Catherine was that shining light of hope that he persevered for.
Sighing he turned to head back into the English Castle, it's grey stone walls and red roses. Back through the courtyard where Lola had been beheaded, back through the beige halls. Back to Queen Elizabeth, unfamiliar halls and faces, back to the cold sunlight that cracked through the windows. Back to uncertainty, back to disrespect and mocking faces that he didn't even know. Back to John who lay in the small nursery, but not back to Catherine.
A/N I know it's kind of corny but meh. Please review and don't be too harsh! Thanks!