Heyy. So, I'm supposed to be doing Physics homework (:/) and writing Chapter 16 of Sweet Escape (:P) but I got this idea in my head last night when I couldn't sleep and I HAD to get it out! So this is the first chapter of a two-shot, and I'm going to write Chapter 2 as soon as I can - hopefully tonight, but it's taken me like 6 hours just to do this one :L I'll get it up as soon as I can, I promise! And then on with Chapter 16 :D!

I reaaaalllyyyyyy hope you like it, it was inspired by "Goodbye" by Secondhand Serenade. Just so you know, I don't like the idea of Jake imprinting on Renesmee, but you'll have to read the second Chapter and it will allllllllll make absolute sense :D

Okay, so, on with the show :L Reviews make me smile and want to write more.... :P

Enjoy!

Em xx

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

I hated myself sometimes. Seriously, honest to God, could not stand myself. Which was a bummer because I was stuck being me. Unless one of the Cullens had a secret power we didn't know about and could like...mess with my head or something. The reason I hated myself wasn't because I was a bitter harpy or a bitch – simply put, I wasn't. Not anymore. Not since I'd joined Jake's pack. And that, ladies and gentleman, is the reason why I hated myself. After what Sam did to me I knew I couldn't bear to be hurt like that again, so I came up with a way to ensure that I wouldn't. I put up a defence round my heart – sort of like an electric fence. Touch it, you get shocked – so that it would be easier not to fall for someone again.

When I joined Jake's pack the bitter harpy in me slowly melted away, and I was my old self again. Jacob and I grew closer, and eventually – with some painstaking effort on my part to think of ways to keep him happy – he got over Bella. By then she was pregnant, and the poor guy was just scared to death that she wouldn't make it. Edward himself was going to pieces, and it was terrible to watch. Me and Edward weren't exactly friends, but I didn't want the guy to suffer through heartbreak like I had, even if the situations weren't exactly the same.

With Mom insisting that Seth go back to school, the job of keeping Jake occupied fell to me. The less time he had on his hands, the less he would be able to think about Bella and what may or may not happen to her. Running extra patrols all the time got kinda boring after a while, so we did other stuff instead. Some days we went to First Beach and talked or mucked around when the weather was good. Other days we went to mine or his, watched movies or tried to beat each other on the Xbox (and I take a lot of pride in the fact that I kicked his ass at COD).

It was just little things at first. Like I'd notice some small detail about him that I hadn't picked up on before, the strange depth to his eyes or the way he always ran his hand through his short and spiky hair when he was frustrated. Or maybe he'd randomly hold my hand when we walked and we'd act like it was no big deal, although at some point – I could never remember exactly when – it turned into something more than that for me. The electric fence around my heart was failing miserably, and soon I broken all the rules I'd made for myself. He was my Alpha. My best friend. My little brother's idol. It felt like something out of a soap opera. I fell for Jacob Black, and I fell hard.

XXXXXXXXXXX

We were in the clearing near the Cullens' mansion. Bella had gone into labour while we'd dropped in to say hi – for someone so clumsy, she sure had good timing. Jake had wanted to stay in case the worst happened, but he couldn't bear to see his friend the way she was and had left. I'd gone after him when Seth promised to howl if everything went okay. And this was where we'd ended up. In the middle of a forest with our arms wrapped round each other, silently waiting for the howl that may never come. I couldn't focus on anything but his scent and the way his arms felt around me, and the slight tickling sensation his breath made where his face was hidden in the crook of my neck. Warmth bloomed in my heart and was spreading rapidly, and for the first time in a long while I felt truly contented.

I hadn't told anyone how I felt about him. I wasn't normally superstitious, but so much seemed to be riding on this that I didn't want to jinx it. But, even though I hadn't spoken it out loud, Edward knew. It was kind of inevitable, what with his mind-reading thing and all. Controlling my thoughts around Jacob became impossible, and Edward was onto me quicker than you could say "vampire". By now I thought Jasper was probably starting to cotton on too, unless he just wasn't picking up on the emotions I went through when I was with my Alpha. But with Edward there was no denying it. I could have just asked him to read Jake's mind and see if he felt the same way, to spare myself any embarrassment if he didn't feel the things I felt. But us wolves were big on privacy, having very little, and it felt kinda wrong. I constantly wondered, though. The big smile Edward got on his face whenever he saw me and Jake together, or caught sight of our joined hands, or walked into the living room and found us laughing over something stupid Seth said the other day......I lost a lot of sleep wondering if it was because he knew Jacob liked me in that way – God, I hoped so – and thought it was only a matter of time before things came to a head.

So there we were. Me and him, standing in the little clearing, waiting. It felt like an eternity that we stood there, sunshine pouring down on us as though Jake wasn't going through one of the scariest moments of his life. And then we heard it. A loud howl tore the air, followed by three happy yips and another short howl. I could practically see my brother bounding around the Cullen's house in his wolf form like a deranged overgrown dog. And the next thing I knew Jacob picked me up and spun me round, and we were laughing and everything was golden and I swore nothing had ever been this perfect before. Everything suddenly seemed to fit together. Bella was alive, I was halfway to the Cullens actually being my friends.....I was genuinely happy for the first time in years and here I was, with this beautiful man who I was so deeply in love with.

When he put me down he kept his grip on my waist and held me close, close enough for me to be able to feel his warm breath on my lips as he beamed. I smiled the smile that I reserved only for him, revelling in the moment. All too quickly that moment was over, and our smiles faded as we realised just how close we were standing. His gaze dropped to my lips. "Leah," he murmured, voice low and even huskier than usual as his chocolate eyes met mine and my breath caught.

"Jake," I whispered, hardly daring to move. My heart was thudding crazily in my chest, and I knew he could hear it: I knew, because I could hear his own matching mine almost beat for beat. Everything seemed to just stop for a second, and then he was inching closer, lips barely a centimetre from mine – and then his ringtone went off.

We froze and he closed his eyes, a slight frown of frustration appearing on his face, and pulled back. I sighed quietly while he dug his phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear. "Seth?" Ugh. I wanted to kick my little brother's ass for ruining the moment. Better still, I wanted to grab Jake phone, throw it to one side and just kiss him already. Maybe that's what I should have done. Maybe I should have done something to get him to stay, to spend just a few more minutes with me as something more than a friend; because what I felt, Jake felt too. I knew it. But then, maybe it would have just made the pain worse. "Okay, okay, calm down man. I'll be there in a sec, but I'm not staying." He ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket before smiling at me. "I have to go check with Edward that Bella really is fine," he said, "and Seth wants me to see the baby. Apparently she looks nothing like a demon spawn." I snorted and Jake rolled his eyes. Then he reached out a warm hand to gently touch the left side of my face, giving me a longing look. "But I'll be back within twenty minutes." His thumb brushed my lips, leaving them tingling. "And we'll....talk. About us. There's....there's some things I need to tell you." I gave a little nod, all breath lost from his smouldering gaze. He leaned down and planted a kiss on the corner of my mouth, smiled at me one more time, promised he'd be back soon and then jogged under the cover of the trees to phase. His scent slowly faded as he ran in the direction of the Cullens' house, but the ridiculously strong butterflies that had erupted inside me didn't.

Jake liked me. He actually liked me. Maybe even loved me, but I wasn't gonna get too far ahead. When he got back....just twenty minutes and then....me and Jake. Me. And Jake. I whooped and punched the air, hugging the nearest tree and smiling broadly. The sheer happiness I felt was enough to make me want to explode. I'd been broken for so long, but now...now I felt amazing. I felt worth something. I felt complete.

I lost track of time as I savoured these new feelings. The sky overhead was halfway between ordinary blue and a deep, magical navy when I realised that Jake still hadn't come back. I added one last flower to the daisy chain I'd been making and secured it around my neck, then got to my feet. I figured he must still be at the Cullens, so I dusted myself down, checked my butt for mud and decided to go get him. He was either having a fight with Edward or at Bella's bedside, but then...Seth had howled. That meant everything was okay, right? But...what if there'd been complications? What if something had gone wrong after he howled? Bella and I had never got on well, to say the least, but in my current frame of mind I couldn't help but hope that she was okay. Even if she had messed Jacob around the way she did, she didn't deserve to die – unless it meant her becoming a vampire, of course. In that case, I'd better get to the Cullens' quick, in case Jake needed me –

"No, Leah!" I jumped violently as an icy hand enclosed around my wrist, stopping me in mid-step. I clutched at my racing heart and took deep breaths.

"Holy shit, Edward! Don't do that!" Edward gave me a sheepish look, letting go of my arm.

"Sorry," he mumbled in apology, and that was when I saw the concerned look on his face.

"Edward...?" He met my gaze, eyes full of sadness, worry, and...something else. Something I couldn't put my finger on. Oh God – had something really happened to Bella!? Was she okay? Was Jake okay?

"Bella's fine," Edward answered before I could voice my question. "She almost died, but we saved her. She's undergoing the transformation as we speak. I just hope she won't be a danger to our daughter when she wakes." I grinned and threw my arms around him.

"Edward, I'm so happy for you!" I gushed, and it was true. God, if I was like this already, what would I be like when Jake and I talked later?

Edward tensed, but I didn't register it at the time. I was enclosed in my own personal bubble of bliss, oblivious to everything and everyone else. I pulled back, confusion written on my face. "By the way, is Jake at yours? He said he'd be back in twenty minutes, but that was....ages ago." Once again his hand gripped my wrist, firm but not hard enough to leave bruises. For a few moments all he did was look at me. I knew he could hear all the confused thoughts running through my head, so why wasn't he helping me out? And why was he looking at me like that? It was then that I placed the emotion in his eyes that I couldn't name before. It was pity. Edward Cullen was pitying me.

I knew something had to have happened. Something bad. Something terrible. My throat and lungs constricted, my heart turning icy with sudden fear. I swallowed hard. "Edward," I breathed. "What's happened?" He didn't answer. Just gripped my other wrist with his other hand. "Edward," I said more firmly. "You're scaring me." Edward sighed, something that must have been a habit from posing as human for so long.

"Leah," he began in a voice that was unnaturally silky smooth. "I don't...I don't know how to say this – "

"Is it Seth?" I interrupted. He stared at me blankly. "Edward, is it Seth!?"

"No." The relief washed over me like a tidal wave, then abruptly vanished when I thought of another possibility. I began to find it harder to breath, warm tears brimming in my eyes.

"Is it Jake?" I asked in shaky whisper. The pity, the worry, the sadness in his gaze – it all returned, and I felt fear well inside me, my heart thudding out of control. "What's happened to him Edward?" It came out as barely more than a breath, but I knew he'd heard me. Edward closed his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

"Leah....Jacob imprinted on my daughter."

The next second was the longest of my life. My mind emptied to the point where Edward's anxiety intensified. I went completely rigid, as if I was the one with a granite-like body. I stopped breathing. My heart skipped a beat and didn't start again. I went completely and utterly numb. No.

A burning pain tore through my chest when my heart shattered for the third time in my life. I closed my eyes against the pain, tears trickling down my cheeks. N-no. No! "Edward...are you...is it...true?" I whispered with all that was left of my voice, opening my eyes and forcing myself to see his answer. When he nodded I covered my mouth with my hand and let out a choked sob. Not Jacob. Not my Jacob. Please, please not my Jacob! Edward's arms came round me, and although they were cold and his scent was overwhelming, I didn't care. All I could focus on was the pain eating its way through every part of me as my brain tried to process what had happened. Edward held me tightly as heart-wrenching sobs wracked my frame, my tears soaking into his shirt. J-Jake. The b-baby. J-Jake....Imprinted!

"Oh, Leah....." Edward rubbing soothing circles in my back, and I knew he was genuinely sorry. He alone knew how deep my love went, how much this was tearing me apart.

"I w-was going t-to tell h-him!" I sobbed, the almost kiss flashing through my mind. "J-Jake can't h-have i-imprin-ted! I l-love h-him!"

"I know, honey, I know...." On and on it seemed to go, wave after wave of agony until I was surprised I could still stand. Above my head the sky finally turned to navy, while around me the forest came alive. And all throughout my tears and sobs Edward didn't once complain. He didn't even promise me that everything would be okay, which I was thankful for because we both knew that it would be a lie. He simply held me and rubbed circles in my back, whispering soothing words while I endured the pain.

It could have been minutes or hours later, but eventually Edward wrapped an arm securely around my shoulders and led me into the woods. At the time I barely even registered that I was moving, my feet seeming to take steps of their own accord. "He gave me permission to cross the treaty line," Edward whispered. He didn't need to tell me who he was talking about. "He didn't even ask why, so I just left." And then we were out of the trees, standing next on the side of the long driveway that led up to the Cullens' mansion. The actual house itself was a fair distance up the road to our left, hidden by dense trees. It was far away, but seemed so close to me. Painfully close. Parked a few feet away was a shiny silver Volvo that some part of my brain instantly recognised as Edward's. Jasper lent against the bonnet, watching us, the keys in his hand glinting in the moonlight. He gave me the same concerned look that Edward had. S-So Jasper k-knows too? "Yes," answered Edward. "Jasper knows too." A sad half-smile formed on Jasper's lips as he studied me.

"I picked up on the feelings. I...I can feel what you're going through, Leah." My sobs had stopped a few minutes ago, leaving me with a never-ending stream of tears and the odd whimper and sniff. I nodded, wiping at my face with my fingertips. "I truly am sorry." He passed the keys to Edward, and then was gone.

Edward took me home in the Volvo. Mom was staying over at Charlie's – something I didn't want to ever think about – so only Seth was home. I was surprised he'd managed to haul himself away from the Cullens after....after.....Another sob escaped me just Seth opened the door, and the smile on his face turned into a look of horror. "Leah!? Edward, what's happened!?"

"I think it would be best if she explained it to you herself," said Edward sadly with a sigh. He removed his shoulder and transferred me into the arms of my little brother.

"T-thanks Edward," I murmured, sniffing. He nodded and walked back to his car, and I let fresh sobs consume me once more as I felt the last fragments of my heart crumble.