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You know, It is an odd feeling when all of your senses get taken away from you. There is a brief moment of disbelief in the reality of the situation. It is here, where you fool yourself into believing that this can't possibly be happening. This must be a dream….it has to be. The nothingness, it just can't possibly exist. There must be something...a sound, a light, a smell...something...anything. But there isn't. Not one single thing. Just the nothing, in all its non-existent glory.
This is where it all starts to sink in. Either your senses have truly gone, or there really is nothing left in the universe. If your senses are, in fact, gone...what of the world around you? Where are you at exactly? Is there anyone with you? Are you injured? Just what could have possibly robbed you of something so important? Although, what if your senses are actually fine? What if the vast empty blackness really was devoid of all light? What if there really was no sound to be heard in that overwhelming silence. Nothing to smell. Nothing to feel. No heat. No cold. No air. Just absolutely nothing. That nothingness truly could exist. Though, that just brings up further questions. If nothing truly does exist...then what does that exactly make you? How can you exist if there is nothing to exist in the first place?
These are the questions I asked myself on a daily basis. That is...if I still had a concept of what a day was. I had no idea how long I had been surrounded by this emptiness. Just that, at some point, I had simply accepted it. I no longer struggled futilely against something I had no power to change. All I could do was simply accept it as fact. I was forever in the empty, lifeless, nothing. I was nothing.
Until there was something. I felt something. I had actually felt something. For the first time in what I considered to be eons, I could actually feel something. There was no possible way I could properly explain my excitement for this. Something finally existed in this dark, empty, lonely nothingness. I had to find it. I needed to find it. Anything else simply was not an option. Unfortunately all I was capable of was mere thrashing and panicking. I was essentially going nowhere fast. Then there was something else. It was a sound. A strange sound actually. At first I couldn't recognize exactly what it was. I had nothing, literally, to compare it to. So it took me longer than I should have to recognize the slushing sound I had been hearing.
I stopped my movements for a moment in an attempt to get a better idea of what the sound truly was. As my movements stopped, so too did the sound. Just like that, this new and exciting experience was gone. The feeling from before had not returned and now I was once again surrounded by the empty void I resided in.
Before I could even succumb to my disappointment, I had felt it once again. The feeling had returned. It felt like a ping that resonated throughout my very being. It came again, this time from above. It was above me. It was most definitely above me, I was sure of it. I reached what I assumed to be my hand in its general direction...and I heard that sound again. The sound stopped with my movement, and picked up when I reached out further. It took far too long for me to realize that this slushing sound was actually coming from me, or at least in reaction to me. I decided that I would have to figure that out sometime later. For now, I had to reach that ping like feeling.
I moved my arms upward, desperately swinging in a vain attempt to grab ahold of whatever this pinging feeling was. As the speed of my swing's picked up speed, so too did my thrashing. In my haste I had almost missed the sudden feeling of moving upward. This was another wondrous new experience for me. As much as I wanted to explore this new thing I had just discovered, I had to keep focus on my goal. So I did what I seemingly had already mastered, and thrashed my way upward toward this...whatever it may be. Somewhere along the way I had started to kick my feet amongst my thrashing. Somehow this aided in my ascent, an act that pleased me to figure out on my own. The closer I got to my goal, the more clear things had become. I could now feel the very emptiness itself. Almost as if it were some sort of liquid. Honestly, it felt like I was swimming through some sort of thick black sludge, but that couldn't be what it was...could it?
The closer I had gotten, the stronger the ping had become. Eventually I would start to see the thick black nothing turn to a slightly lighter gray color; at least in the direction it was coming from anyway. The color would grow slightly lighter with each additional ping as I had gotten closer and closer to the source. Eventually the color would fade into a dim white light, further increasing my excitement. This light grew brighter and brighter till I eventually started to see something within the light itself.
The light pulsed and an odd sensation had washed over me. An image had replaced the nothingness around me and I could now see I was within a forest. Everything seemed to have been frozen in place. From the birds, to the leaves, to the insects, it was all as if I was swimming through a mere photograph. The trees themselves were a bit of an oddity. They seemed to blur, almost as if they were running from something. Or perhaps the image was taken while someone was in motion. The image as a whole just felt odd. Unfortunately I couldn't explore its meaning any further as it disappeared with the next ping. The nothingness with the bright light at the end had returned. With no other choice, I continued with my ascension through the sludge like darkness.
Again, the light pulsed with the return of the unmoving forest. All around I could see it was mostly the same...well, except for a few minor differences. For example, the birds had flown farther and higher. Additional leaves flowed to the ground, joined by ones that remained frozen in place. The insects had moved about in random directions, all seeming to avoid something on the left that remained unseen. This still image left me with a feeling of dread. Something was amongst the trees, hidden in the shadows. It was difficult to make out the figure from my position so I could not immediately tell what it was. The only reason I had even known of its presence was due to the bone like plating I spotted on what I assumed to be a long shadowy arm. It honestly felt like it was watching me, hunting me. Where I remained, floating, all in the still image seemed to be in reaction to me. Then it suddenly dawned on me. All of this, it had to be a memory. It all had to be something that already happened at some point in time. That is what it felt like anyway.
I made an attempt to swim closer to the shadowy figure in the trees, but couldn't. I couldn't seem to stray too far from the path I was on. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not explore the forest beyond its fading dirt path. That was a bit of a disappointment to me, but it wasn't too bad. I still had this new experience of a memory to explore. Although, a thought came to mind. Was this really my memory? Was this something I, myself, have already seen? Or...was it something else? I don't know why but, this thought, this memory, just felt wrong. I knew it was a memory, but it just...wasn't right. Like it didn't belong to me. Or did it? I just could not tell one way or another.
The still forest disappeared once again with another ping like feeling. This time, that bright light seemed to be much closer than it had been previously. The ping came again, then it came again, and again. Was it calling out to me? There was only one way to find out what it truly was. So I put what I had just seen behind me and continued my journey toward this strange light. My excitement just seemed to propel me forward as I eagerly thrashed my way upward with my...unique...way of swimming.
Once more the light pulsed and the still image of the forest had returned. This time I appeared to be much further along the path. All of the animals and insect had seemingly vanished. The trees had more of a blur and the leaves seemed to dance and scatter behind me. It was as if I was running at an incredible speed. Well, in the image anyway. That feeling of dread had only grown since the last image. Looking around, I could easily see why. That shadowy arm had gotten closer than it was previously.
This time I could clearly make out its appearance. It honestly appeared to be a werewolf with pitch black fur. The bone like plating seemed to cover the creature's head entirely. It spread to most of the thing's back and chest covering nearly all of its arms and legs. There were very few spots on the creature that were not covered in this bone like armor. Various small spikes seemed to cover the arms and legs with a very long, blade like, spike coming out of the elbow. Similar spikes seemed to run down the thing's back, shrinking in size the further down they grew. The werewolf's eyes, however, were the most striking.
The thing glared at my general direction with its glowing red eyes. The red seemed to spread onto its face plating in some strange markings. The markings themselves almost appeared tribal like. It...it just felt wrong for some reason. The snarl on its face dripped with drool and rage. With how the whole image was presented, it honestly felt like this thing was running alongside me. It almost seemed like it was trying to intimidate and terrorize me. Somehow...I think it worked.
Honestly, I had to look away. I just absolutely had too. I glanced at the still image behind me and saw something that made my heart stop. The image was not clear, but I could clearly see additional werewolf like creatures running, stalking, in the shadows. These wolves had far less plating than the one next to me to varying degrees. Some had a decent amount, some only covered their arms and head, some just their head with the occasional bone like spikes on its limbs, some...with none at all. All of these creatures were spread out in a near perfect circle around me. Each and every one of their eyes were locked on, all with the apparent intent to kill.
I looked ahead once more; my focus on the blur of the trees. Suddenly, this feeling of dread made so much sense. I now know why these still images made it appear as if I had been running for my life. It was because I had been, or at least, whoever these images truly belonged to. I still did not believe that they were mine, mostly.
Just as before, the image had vanished with the return of the endless void. The bright light was just about on top of me this time. Its size had apparently grown immensely, covering almost all of the void above from my field of vision. The ping was stronger now. The feeling that washed over me put a sense of urgency into motion. I just had to reach it, now more than ever. I just couldn't understand why. Though if I had to guess, it honestly felt like I was going to lose something important if I didn't. Just...why?
Regardless of the reason, I had to keep moving. I kept up my odd little swimming technique in a desperate attempt to inch myself closer and closer to this bright light. It was just within my grasp at this point. Just a few more inches and I could just about touch it. I could even feel the light. It had this strange sense of comforting warmth and love to it. To be honest, that description doesn't really do it justice. I just have no other way to properly describe it. It is the best I could do at the moment given my current lack of knowledge...or experience...or memory. I really need to find a way to fix that.
Anyway, I was just about to touch this bright light when that ping like feeling struck again. Just like it had done previously, the light pulsed and I was brought back into the still image. This time, it seemed a bit different. The trees still blurred, the animals had all but disappeared, the werewolves were still as intimidating as they previously were...if not more so. All in all, the image came about with the changes I had come to expect. It just felt like there was something fundamentally wrong this time around. I just couldn't for the life of me figure it out.
It hadn't really dawned on me until I tried to take a good look around the still image. Just as I had done before, I made an attempt to turn around and swim about my allotted space, but I was physically unable to do so. In all actuality, I was locked in place. I couldn't move from the one singular spot. I could just barely move what I assumed to be my head just to take in what I could. The werewolves had gotten closer...much closer. The snarling, bigger, intimidating one kept its previous distance from me. Yet all the same, just seemed so much more frightening. There wasn't much difference in terms of appearance, just, something I couldn't quite understand. A fear, I assume. It just didn't feel right. Why?
I took in what I could, and I had noticed something that hadn't been there before. It was something trailing behind me. It was a white rose petal, of all things. Not just one either. There were a multitude of them in suspended animation just like the rest of the still image. There were so many. Most were floating above the dirt path I had apparently been traveling upon. A few, very few, actually touched the ground. The only ones that had were the ones much farther back down the trail. From what I could see, there were no white roses anywhere along the trail. I don't recall ever seeing white flowers of any kind in the previous images I had been in. I couldn't tell if they were following me or came from me. Perhaps both? Neither? I couldn't tell. Where exactly did these flower petals come from? It was just so odd to me.
While I strained myself to get a better look, I noticed something else that was new. It was a cloth of some sort, a white one that appeared to be mid flap from my apparent running. It was a struggle just to look back enough to see the object in question. As I took in what little I could manage, it was easy enough to tell that this cloth was long enough to cover most of someone's body. Well, I assumed that to be the case anyway. I could also see that this cloth was attached to what I made out to be my shoulders...or perhaps tied around my collar? I couldn't tell to be perfectly honest. I still wasn't able to see me, but I could at least see a shadowy figure when I looked about myself. The shadowy form my body had taken made it difficult to really tell what I actually looked like. Though, I did manage to make out the slender outline of my figure thanks in part to the contrast between my shadowy self and my more colorful surroundings. I couldn't really tell for sure...but judging from the shape of my form, I could only conclude that my physique was feminine in nature. It didn't just seem to be my anatomy that was made up of shadow, but my clothing as well. Shadow upon shadow just seemed to blend in perfectly with one another. This made it quite difficult to tell where my body met my clothes. I knew I was wearing clothing only due to the fact that I could clearly see the shadowy form of what looked like…is that a frilly skirt? Am I seriously wearing some kind of frilly skirt?! There is absolutely no way that I would ever wear something so incredibly dumb like a frilly…uh...well... Anyway, it was enough for me to, at the very least, conclude that I was a girl. I...am a girl right? Or would I technically be a woman? I have an odd feeling that my actual height often brings this into question. For whatever reason, the thought of this seriously irked me to no end.
I decided to remove myself from that train of thought and looked back as far as I possibly could. My gaze returned to the cloth, and I was able to see what looked like a hood attached to this odd choice of clothing. It just laid back as if it had fallen off my head. But that wasn't the important part. Just past where the hood lay against the flapping cloth, I could see what looked like a bump. It was large enough to seem unnatural and kind of drew some red flags in my mind. It was at this moment I realized my arms were behind my back and felt quite heavy. As if I had been carrying something the whole time. Before I could get another glance, I felt another ping. Again, the image vanished and I was returned to the void.
I was still a fingertip away from the light when it pulsed again and sent me back into the still image. It happened so suddenly and so quickly that I was actually startled by this. If it were physically possible I would have jumped from its sudden appearance. Unfortunately I was once again stuck in place. This time it was far more odd. For one, the trees were no longer a blur. The animals were still long gone. Each of the white rose petals were now lazily strewn about the ground, not one remained in the air. I had my back to a steep cliff that overlooked more of the forest down below. The werewolves had me cornered, each snarling and more intimidating than the next. The bigger, more bone covered one stood in front of the pack. It had a drool dripping from its mouth and appeared to be crouched, ready to pounce in a moment's notice. If I wasn't scared before, I most definitely was now. It took a great deal of effort to pull my eyes away from the beasts before me. I was afraid that if I looked away they would kill me in an instant. I knew everything was frozen in place, but still.
I took a long look around and couldn't spot anything new or out of the ordinary, at least compared to the past images I was shown. It wasn't until I looked down that I had spotted the differences this time. Some major differences actually. I could actually see myself. Or at least, what I appeared as within these images. I still wasn't convinced that these were actually my memories.
From what I could see, I had been wearing black combat boots, though the left one had some unsetting fresh blood stains upon it. The black tights appeared to be torn in various places. The tares exposed the cut and bloody pasty white skin that lay hidden underneath. Over the battle worn tights was what appeared to be a (totally not frilly) combat skirt, torn and stained with some small splatters of blood. I couldn't really make out the shirt I had been wearing...was it a blouse? I actually can't tell. Though, like the rest of my apparent clothing, it too was torn and bloody. Wherever skin was exposed there were cuts and scars of varying degrees. It didn't take a genius to see I was a bloody mess. The only thing not torn or bloodied to all hell was that white cloth hanging from my back. Or was it a cape? A cloak? What it was didn't seem all that important at the moment. However, it did remind me of that bump I had seen just moments ago in the previous image.
It dawned on me that my arms no longer felt heavy. I took a quick look and could see my arms covered by their cut and bloodied sleeves. Both hands had blood stained fingerless gloves. My left hand in particular was holding something back, palm pressed against it, while it hid underneath the white...cloak? I'm going with cloak. After focusing as hard as I could, I was able to make out the figure of a girl who couldn't be older than ten. Why I thought ten...I have no clue. She could be around seven for all I know...but I'm just going to go with ten here.
This girl appeared to be wearing a long ragged red dress while the end of her sleeves and collar seemed to be wrapped in a faded golden color. The thing looked beat up and worn out. Somehow I doubt the werewolves had gotten ahold of her. Her pale white skin seemed dirty, and had a multitude of bruises, though each and every one looked to be old or healing. By some miracle there wasn't a single drop of blood on her body. With a closer look I could see what appeared to be a black choker...but something told me it was actually meant to be a dog collar. The thought of it seemed to bring up some unexpected rage, though I pushed it down as soon as it surfaced. Her face...she had this innocent and honest look in her bright amber colored eyes; one eye covered by her long ashen-black hair. I could tell she believed I would keep her safe no matter what.
A sudden sense of urgency built up in me, though I couldn't tell exactly why. I felt a sudden panic wash over me and just as I looked back to the werewolves, the image shifted. It didn't fade or vanish. It quite literally changed before me. The lead werewolf was now mid lunge. Mouth wide, drool splattered in multiple directions. Its right arm was drawn back and left claw dug into the dirt. It had an incredible blur that made it difficult to truly see just how fast it moved. My right arm was now outstretched in the thing's general direction...as if that would have any effect on stopping the beast. For some reason, in this instance it felt like my eyes were burning. I could have sworn there was a bright silvery light coming from somewhere.
I was no longer able to turn my head and thus, could not see if the girl was fine or not. Again, the image shifted and I was no longer on the cliff. I was falling from it. I could just barely see the outline of the girl far above...the werewolves hovering dangerously over her. Long streaks of red seemed to trail from my body in large quantities. I gave my chest a quick glance to see the large claw marks and just how deep they had cut into me. The impression I got was that this was fatal. I only assumed this though, and I'm sort of still here...so perhaps these really aren't my memories? I still just can't tell one way or another.
Strangely enough, I could now move my right arm. I made a futile attempt to reach for the girl and in that same instance, that ping like feeling washed over me. The image was gone and I was back in the void. This time, my arm had made it through the bright white light. Strangely enough, I could now see my arm in this void, and the rest of me for that matter. I had the same appearance as I did in that last set of images, minus the torn clothing and injuries. That just seemed strange to me. I wanted to question this, but I had something more important to worry about.
As my arm reached into the white light, I could feel something. It was flat and solid, kind of hard and rough. It was a completely new experience for me and I just had to have this object. So I did the only thing I could and reached my other arm into the light and pulled...and it didn't budge. So I used every bit of strength I could and pulled as hard as this body would allow. In the process I found that I had been pulling myself toward the light. I kicked my feet about in some vain attempt to gain leverage and it had been no help whatsoever. So I reached farther in and pulled, and reached my other arm farther in and pulled. I repeated this over and over until I had accidentally poked my head out through the light.
In my surprise, I was holding onto some rock hard ground that my mind had told me was a sidewalk in an alleyway. I looked about and could only see broken and burning buildings off in the distance. Aside from the glow of the flames in the distance, everything was just so dark. I could barely make out what the buildings that surrounded me looked like. Before I had even realized it, I had pulled myself out of…..was that a pool of black sludge? Was that what I had been in this whole time? That dark void was nothing but some thick black pool in an alleyway? I somehow felt defeated by this thought.
I had reached out to touch it but immediately stopped once I had noticed I was covered in the stuff. Try as I might, I just could not shake the sludge off of me. If anything, it just stuck on tighter with each movement. I decided it was a wasted effort to try and clean it off at the moment. I would do so at a later time once I had gotten my bearings on what was going on.
I walked further into the alleyway and was immediately attracted to the glow that had been coming from around the corner in the distance. As I approached I could hear the occasional bang, explosion or a scream or yell of some kind. As I walked, I had almost missed the body of a decapitated man off to my right. The sight made me sick...and to further add to the mystery, his corpse had started to fade away in this oily shadow like smokey substance. I pressed on. I passed more of the deceased as I walked, each cut up to varying degrees and fading into smoke. I had even seen the body of a woman cut clean in two. I fought the urge to vomit upon seeing her insides splattered about. I was never more thankful for it all disappearing in that smoke like substance. Again, I decided to press on.
I turned the corner only to see a man on his knees. The glow of the nearby fire showed him looking up at a cloaked figure. Against my better judgement, I moved closer to the pair. Once close enough I could see the red cloak in better detail. Honestly, it looked strangely similar to the one I wore in those still images. I took a quick look back at my own only to see that, it too, was covered in that black sludge. Not a single bit of white remained. I don't know why that upset me so much.
A click, a whirl and a bang had drawn my attention back to the pair in front of me. What I had seen, was a total shock. The girl...yes, apparently the red cloaked person was a young girl...had pulled this oversized red and black scythe from out of nowhere and cut the man's head clean off. I let out quite a loud gasp and made a pointless attempt to silence myself by covering my mouth. My mouth actually didn't feel quite right, but it was the furthest thing from my mind.
The girl, who I guessed to be around fifteen or sixteen, had slowly turned her head to look in my direction. I could tell she was wearing clothing almost exactly like my own from the still images. As strange as that was, I couldn't focus on it at all. The glow of the fire exposed her face and the sight of it made me lose all feeling throughout my body. It honestly felt like my heart sank. I honestly don't even know when my body had started to shake.
What did her face look like? Well...that's the thing...she didn't have one. No eyes. No nose. No mouth. Nothing. Just blank. Pale. Faceless. Skin.