Title: Bad Idea

Summary: Hogwarts has decided to put on one of William Shakespeare's plays and there will be men in tights. Written for Viola J. for her Birthday on October 7th.

Written By: May Waters

Rating: T, Shakespeare is always dirty.

Characters: Hermione Granger and Fred Weasley


Pairing: Fred/Hermione

Prompts: A play from Shakespeare, Men in Tights


Note: I saw this in my email from The Twin Exchange Forum and just reading their request had me laughing. I had to write this. Happy Birthday Viola J.! Sorry it's a day late.


Bad Idea


"I'm starting to think this was a really bad idea." Fred commented to Hermione as he immerged from the men's dressing room. He was dressed in a short blue, tunic like costume and green tights. Hermione covered her mouth to keep her giggles from escaping, her purple dress fluttering around her ankles. "Yeah laugh all you want, at least you get to be in something which covers your bits."

"Yours are covered too," Hermione pointed out with a Cheshire cat grin.

"Barely," Fred looked out at the stage. "I have a feeling all the girls will be trying to look up the boy's tunics, not at them."

"Just be glad your clothes don't fall open when you bend over." Hermione folded her arms in annoyance.

"I don't know; that's not nearly as bad." Fred gave her a playful grin causing her to smack his toned chest.

"All actors in the wings- prepare for first scene!" Professor McGonagall shouted throughout the stage. Hermione's eyes widened.

"I'm not ready for this," she told him.

"Just keep your concentration on me and you'll be just fine." Fred put his hands on her shoulders and made sure he was in her line of vision. Hermione was suddenly reminded of only one month earlier.


"Students, I would like to announce our newest extracurricular activity. In light of recent activities, we are going to be putting on a play by William Shakespeare." Albus Dumbledore waited for the noise in the hall to quiet down. "We will be performing 'Twelfth Night; or, What You Will', all students age 15 and above will be required to audition."

Hermione looked around her excitedly, she loved Shakespeare's plays and this was one of her favorites. The twins were talking quickly between each others their hands flying in various gestures. Ginny look disappointed she would not be able to participate, while Harry and Ron looked uncomfortable. Fred looked up and met Hermione's eyes with his own; he gave her an easy smile before turning away. Maybe this was Hermione's time to shine.


Hermione had secured the part as Viola and Fred would be playing Duke Orsino, the man she was to fall deeply in love with while he only looked at Olivia (Angelina Johnson). Then Angelina was to fall in love with her disguise and end up marrying her twin brother Sebastian (Zacharias Smith). Hermione couldn't help but laugh as she thought about how silly the play really was. Fred gently left her alone in the wing as he took his spot in the stage just before the curtain rose.


It was nearing the end of the play and Hermione was standing waiting for the big moment in which Fred- no, Orsino would propose to Viola. She held her breath, knowing how she felt about this scene and knowing she could not express it. Viola was never given a chance to give a proper answer, it was more of a fact stated by Orsino than a beautiful request. Fred turned to Hermione, took her hands in his and announced:

"And, for your service done him. So much against the metal of your sex, so far beneath your soft and tender breeding, and since you called me master for so long, here is my hand; you shall from this time be your master's mistress." Fred gave her a wink before turning back as it had been blocked for him to do. Hermione let out the breath she had been holding and breathed easy once more.


At the closing bow Fred did something completely unexpected. He pulled Hermione to a stop and twirled her to face him. Fred bent down, ever so slowly, and captured Hermione's lips with his own. Her breath caught, but before she could respond he had pulled away and was gesturing for her to bow. Blushing, she stepped forward and did a graceful curtsy before allowing Fred the same gesture. This was definitely a play to remember.


It was five months to the day since Fred had kissed her after the showing of 'Twelfth Night'; once the war had ended, Hermione helped bring Fred back to full health and even took a job in their joke shop. Occasionally Fred would take her hand and twirl her around a couple of the stands before whispering "your master" teasingly in her ear. Hermione would swat him away and go back to her work, leaving a joyful man in her wake. Yet, he had not done this gesture for two weeks now. They had once been the epiphany of happy couples, and now Hermione was wondering if something had gone wrong.

She was restocking the shelf of Fever Fudge when it happened. The lights in the store dimmed so only a single spotlight shone on a small, circular, raised platform in the middle of the store. She looked to see Fred standing in the blue tunic and green tights. Hermione's hands came up to her mouth. His eyes were set on her as he offered the next line dramatically:

"And, for your service done him. So much against the metal of your sex, so far beneath your soft and tender breeding, and since you called me master for so long, here is my hand; you shall from this time be your master's mistress." Fred slowly descended onto one knee and held a black velvet box in front of him. Inside was a silver ring with a large ruby and two diamonds on either side. "Hermione Jean Granger, will you marry me?"

Hermione threw herself at him, her clothes changing magically into her dress from the play.

"Of course," Hermione closed the distance between them, and they shared in a warm kiss.

"You had a chance to answer this time." Fred whispered as he slid the ring on her finger. He had remembered her complaining about how subjugating it was.

"I did," Hermione grinned up at him before pressing her lips to his once more.


When they moved into their new house, many had wondered and speculated about the meaning of the words above their door. Only a few knew how much it meant to them, the names of those who had brought them together.

Viola and Duke Orsino.


Note: I hope this was satisfactory to you Viola J. Just noticed, but I didn't pick this play because of your name. I just really enjoy it! But hey! May you find your Fred one day Viola, Happy Birthday! -May