A Need For Repentance
By Pennames: Cotto, Vantiri
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Willow/Tara
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Willow, Tara, Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Riley, Professor Walsh, several original characters, and some beings from Judeo-Christian religious history.
Warnings: rape/non-consensual, violence
Topics: religion, ethics, sin, crime story
Summery: Willow's homosexual lust is completely out of control, so her friends end up needing to get her synagogue's Rabbi involved in her treatment (Willow is the Villainess in this one).
Disclaimer: Joss Weldon owns the Buffy series and all rights to the financial benefits of the stories, this story is inspired and a semi-continuation of "Nowhere Far Enough"… (Also draws on events in "We Are Made of Stars" by Amberina) but it's my idea of what could have happened.
Timeline: During season 6, sometime after "Gone" and well before "Villains".
Notes: Mostly from Tara's Point of View early on, then maybe others.
Chapter 1) It Begins.
As Tara drove back to the Summers residence, she was unbelievably concerned, from what Buffy's little sister Dawn had told her- Willow had essentially been raping other young women… essentially young ladies- practically girls! What Tara was planning was, in a nutshell, a rescue operation!
Tara was never the kind to use fantasy self-images as a reference point: she always considered herself much stronger than that- but now her mind kept on equating her with Buffy when she went to rescue Dawn from a marriage with Mr. Sweet at the Bronze during the 24 hrs that the Catholics call "All Saints Day." (November 1st). What the hey, I'm also going on a rescue mission, just like my friend did: though in my case, I'm trying to rescue my 'girlfriend's' soul. Tara thought with a grim smile. (Girlfriend in semi-quotation marks because Tara was being sarcastic.) Tara really does, at this time, believe in re-incarnation; she just doesn't want Willow (Whom she still loves, despite the fact that Willow raped her!) to wind up as something else… Something like a virus, if Willow doesn't change her ways, she'll likely wind up as a Virus! Tara thought angrily.
When she reached the Summers driveway she turned into the drive and when she got out she was greeted by Dawn near the front step. Willow must be a fool, Tara sure dresses exceptionally beautifully! Dawn thought as she saw Tara get out of the car. Tara was wearing a very lovely pair of blue jeans, a pale brown shirt, and deeper brown sweater, her blonde hair was held back in a ponytail.
"Dawnie, where's Willow?" "She's in the house, I think in her room, I wouldn't go in there though, I think she's" Dawn paused, then more quietly- and Tara thought, angrily "reading." "Good, I need a place to set up for the 'situation'… Is the living room OK?" "I think so, yes, she wouldn't be down for about ½ hour still. Oh, and Tara, be careful- she's really unnaturally strong- and seems to have bad interests towards you!"
Nothing much happened between the people at that house- oh some talking, about this-and-that, and such. But nothing happened to Tara or any other human at that house. But I did learn something very upsetting- Willow is now a serial rapist! Tara thought with a twinge of despair. This has got to stop! My 'girlfriend' has raped about 24 young women in addition to me, mostly found at the Bronze- and while there was no physical damage done to any of them, they most certainly couldn't have consented! All of her victims were about 19-21 years in age.
What Willow would do to her victims would be to walk up to them and give them a flower- Tara would recognize it immediately, but these poor maidens would not- Lethe's Bramble, the very type of flower Willow had used to erase Tara's memory, then ask them if they wanted to come home with her to "have some fun" as Willow had worded it, the victimized young woman would be dropped off after a sweet kiss, then they would go their separate ways. (Willow was using this flower to brain-control these poor girls- some of whom were straight!)
That night turned into a night of terror for Tara, as the two ex-lovers kept on fighting all night long: Willow kept on trying to climb on top of and kiss Tara, Tara said no, Willow wouldn't stop, every single attack began the same way; Will would grab Tara's upper arms, and say "Hi Lover, give me some sugar!" then she'd proceed to try to kiss her, Willow was stronger than Tara had expected- and her puckered lips got within an inch of the other woman's face before Tara could push her off, Willow would growl in anger and say something that sounded like "Now I'm really going to taste you!" Tara's response: "NO! Back Off Willow! Leave me ALONE!". This repeated itself maybe once every eight minuets.
So, needless to say, when daybreak came around, Tara was exhausted and deeply traumatized. She tried to rape me, all night long she tried to do *that evil* to me! No Way was she going back into the same room alone with that *evil woman*! When she came around the bend into the kitchen she was relieved to find that Willow was NOT in the room but Buffy was. Good, now I get to talk to the land-lady one-on-one about this felony!
Buffy looked up from the breakfast she was cooking: fried eggs and toast delicious! thought Tara, when Buffy saw Tara's face however- the sight wrenched her heart: Tara clearly hadn't slept well Or at all. Buffy thought, the skin on her face sagged, and her eyes were red as if she'd been crying. (Tara had indeed been crying- she escaped from the attempted rape at 6:00am and spent the next 1.5 hours in the bathroom crying about it.) The time was now just after 7:34am.
"What happened Tara, you seemed so peppy yesterday, and now you look downright broken-hearted?" "Willow's gone bad, Buffy, she tried to rape me all night long!" "Was her hair or eyes black?" "No, Willow-colored, but she's gone evil, Buffy!" "You're too exhausted to drive, Tara- so how about I make you something to eat and then we can go to Giles' place and talk to him, I mean, Will clearly needs help!" "Yeah, that she does, Buff." Tara sat down to eat, and Buffy made another breakfast for herself, this was just starting to cheer Tara up, when things slipped sideways and fell apart, for out of the corner of her vision Tara spied the 'red-headed rapist' strolling down the hall and entering the kitchen, wearing a pair of red flannel pajamas, and yawned. Then, "Wow! What an invigorating night and restful sleep!" Willow exclaimed.
At this Tara went completely ballistic: "Invigorating?! Restful?! Not for me! Willow, you raped me All Night Long!" Tara practically screamed. Willow responded sweetly while smiling "I don't know what you're talking about, honey." "Oh, really, Willow? Well let's just see- you want sex when you want it and with who you want it , and if you don't get it , then you use magic to make the target want it with you, especially if the other person doesn't want to! That's called Rape, Willow! Oh, and Buffy? I'm not her only victim, she's done this same felony to some twenty-four other women about our age- some of whom aren't even attracted to other females!" What a hypocrite! Both lesbians thought, enraged with each other. This is Really Ridiculous! Were Buffy's thoughts.
"Come-on Tara, let's get ready for school." "Buffy, I thought you weren't able to contribute enough time to your education." "Maybe, but you do need a designated driver" then Buffy whispered "and protection." "Willow, have something to eat, I don't want your strength to give out." said Buffy. Then she called Dawn thinking that her sister was in her room: "Dawn, sweetie, are you certain you can get to school on your own?" "Hi, Buffy!" Buffy whirled around, Dawn was in the living room, fully dressed, black backpack on, pale blue shirt, blue-gray jacket or sweater (Buffy couldn't tell which), lunchbox packed, waiting for the bus. Buffy gently gripped Dawn's arm and nudged her towards the door, Dawn got the hint, once outside… Buffy said quietly while looking Dawn straight in the eyes solemnly "Dawn, don't try to approach Willow today- or for the immediate future, you're still just young- you don't know how dangerous she is right now! Willow's gone evil, you were right about her- she had bad intentions regarding Tara!" "What did she do?" "I'll take this" Tara whispered to Buffy, who nodded. "Dawnie, Willow attempted to rape me seventy-five times last night!" "I really can't believe that!" Dawn exclaimed, shocked. "Dawn, whatever else may happen in the next few days, you must promise us not to try to make any contact with Willow!" Tara instructed firmly but gently. "Dear sister- we're going to get as much help as we can for Willow." was Buffy's statement. "Very well." Dawn responded.
Once that was done, Buffy did something she thought she'd never do ever again… she called Spike on her cell phone, and invited him over, with the instructions to protect Dawn from Willow, promising for her part to interact with him on any level that he wants that would be proper for her. He was elated, it wasn't a chance to lie with her- it was an opportunity to be a friend of hers.
"Are you certain it was wise to tell my sister that?" "She needs to know the kind of woman staying at the house, and why she can't approach." "True, though now I kind of fear for my best-friend's life, I mean Dawn's going to be berserk- she may try to kill Willow… One reason I invited Spike over." "Good choice, Buffy, Spike's unbelievably strong and he's resistant to magic- he's also not going to hurt Dawn, ever! I mean it, Buffy, he loves you, so he won't do anything to offend you intentionally!"
While at UC Sunnydale, Tara seemed greatly distracted in class and on the verge of tears many a time, Buffy was amazed that she held it together so often. Post Psychology class, Professor Maggie Walsh called Tara and Buffy into her office to find out what had Tara so profoundly perturbed. You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think that Buffy, Tara, and Willow are sisters, but to find out that arguably the most brilliant-and-attentive student in my class did *that* to her girlfriend is just too much! best describe Professor Walsh's thoughts on the situation. "I'll help you get access to any books you need for this task, Tara… in fact I'll give you a pass for as long as you need for the school library. Agent Finn, I need you to make sure that Tara is able to get her hands on whatever books on deviancy she needs: school library, school store, the whole-nine-yards, clear?" "Absolutely Ma'am" "Whole 9yds means what exactly, I've never understood that saying." "Has to do with the amount of bullets in a US warplane in WW2, Buffy, each machinegun belt was 27feet long- and since it's 3ft to a yard, that comes out to…" Riley explained "Nine yards." "right Buffy." "Still, in this case, what does it mean?" Tara spoke up now after being silent since leaving the office "Anything and everything- whatever's needed."
"You know, Buffy, I still can't believe that Willow would do this to her, I mean, she's sweet, very intelligent, downright beautiful, why on earth would someone do this to her?" "We knew Willow was addicted to magic, turns out that she's addicted to much more than that… she also seems addicted to…" Buffy paused, distinctly uncomfortable with the topic, then continued "sex, with other girls." "I have a lot of trouble believing that, Buffy, I mean, Willow's an intellectual, and I've known a few in my day- they are not prone to 'carnality' (deeds of the flesh), this info makes no sense!" "Willow's got a propensity for addictions in her personality- and this is, arguably, the worst addiction possible for her!"
After collecting some eight thick textbooks, Tara sat down at a desk and started to read and compare the data, two words kept on coming up; 'lesbian rape', at one point the Dean of Student Affairs asked her why such a beautiful and intelligent young woman would be looking up such a hideous topic as that, and she had to explain that she's trying to help a young woman who's stuck in that situation. "Ah, I understand." he said and walked away, leaving her to her research.
Post school (at roughly 6:00pm) Buffy and Tara arrived at Mr. Giles apartment. "Sir, I really need to talk to you." "Very well, Tara, what's on your mind?" "Do you have anything on Judeo-Christian theology, specifically the condemnations of lust in the mind or heart?" "I think so, yes, but it's been years since I've touched them… if I may ask, does this have anything to do with Willow?" "I'm trying to help her, Mr. Giles, she…" Tara's voice was cracking, but she whispered in his ear "raped me, about seventy-five times in ten hours last night, and the next morning, she claimed to have enjoyed herself!" "If I may, you're not stuttering at all." "No, I'm very angry, Sir." I love Willow, she's essentially a daughter to me, and to hear of her doing this horror to another woman! thought Rupert Giles. (He does indeed see himself as a father to them.) As soon as Giles heard what Willow had done his face froze and his jaw locked shut, to an outside observer he registered no overt change- but these women knew that he was absolutely furious.
Forty-five minuets later: "Aha! 'If you so much as look at a woman with lust in your heart, you've already committed adultery with her.' New Testament, Catholic Bible- I knew I kept it around for some reason!" Mr. Giles stated, smiling, he was holding an open book in his left hand, and had his right at his glasses. "May I please photocopy it, Sir?" "Copy it, borrow it, print it up, any and all of the above- I figure this is a rescue operation, am I right?" "Exactly Giles, we're trying to rescue Willow's soul." Buffy said.
Willow's day progressed somewhat differently, she made it to school without a hitch (meaning problem), but she noticed that her best friend and her girlfriend were hanging-out a lot and that both women were trying to avoid her. Don't really want to start something here: too many witnesses. Maybe later, like at home. Willow thought. After classes ended, Willow headed over to the Bronze, and at the counter purchased a 12oz glass birch -beer bottle, and sat down at a table on the upper level. She was wearing her blue denim ankle-length skirt with a split from the hem to her knees, mostly orange sweater, and pinkish-red boots, she had a black calculator-watch on her left wrist and her slightly wavy red hair had a single clip on the left side near the top. But her thoughts were about as dark as ever- and they centered on her girlfriend, and various means of enslaving Tara MacLay sexually! For a time, she even considered trading her soul in to be able to force Tara into bed with her whenever she wanted; Willow rejected this one however immediately. Unbidden, she thought It seems even Villains have limits that they will not cross… villains, huh! Never thought I'd be one of those. then she remembered what she'd done to her girlfriend last night, Whoa, I guess my conscience was right, if I raped Tara thatmany times, or at all, what does that make me- according to my upbringing, I'd be evil now! Worse than my vampire twin, in fact. Willow thought with shock and a twinge of dread. How am I even moral any more? Indeed that woman, my twin, did try to rape me in the school library all those years ago- and I've always based my ego on goodness. And, in opposition, sexual assault, which is exactly what that was (in both our cases), is always evil!
As Willow continued to sip her drink, she felt a tear run down her cheek from her right eye toward her chin. Oh, great, now I'm crying- I know, I need a little something to make me feel better! (Of course she knew that she'd choose the wrong thing.)
At the house, the evening passed without incident, Buffy told Spike "As long as you don't move against me or mine you can stay here for as long as you like. I really need someone who will keep the peace here if I can't." "Deal." was his response. Tara meanwhile, in her anger, had printed or photocopied that passage of scripture ad nauseam, and taping or otherwise fastening them to every wall or headboard that would hold paper in Willow's room… she'd also printed up info from school that told of the detrimental effects to one's health of promiscuity All this to save the soul of a woman that I love. Tara thought bitterly. The info, she'd left on the table by Willow's bedside, knowing well of her girlfriend's taste for reading.
Lying with her was the biggest mistake in judgment of my life yet… never again! Tara thought as she made the bed of a sleeping bag, I want to be here when she realizes the evil that she's done!
When Willow came in to the room Tara told her "The bed's yours, Will, I've left some reading material around for you- you'll find the booklet on the lamp-table near the bed to be most enlightening." "Thanks, Tara, I know I've been a monster toward you lately." "Yes, you have." Willow read for about 50min then fell asleep. That night passed without incident.