"We want to join the Order after graduation."

A quill scratching against the parchment stopped and was returned to rest in an ink bottle as cat-like, deep green eyes scanned over the forms of Lily and her newfound family. Professor McGonagall clasped her bony hands together, and Lily realized that McGonagall's entire figure was smaller. She wondered when McGonagall had lost weight in such a way.

"And what of the former ambitions of you and your friends, Mr. Potter?"

"Protecting people is more important."

Something changed in McGonagall's eyes then. At that moment, Lily was reminded of the kind eyes of her own mother; whenever Lily had talked about James, her mother had this specific look as if she knew something that Lily didn't.

"Do you know where the word 'war' originated from?"

The five seventh-years remained silent. James and Remus simply raised an eyebrow; Sirius looked slightly bored; Peter looked all around confused by the change in conversation. Lily herself was in Peter's boat.

The professor leaned back against her chair and turned slightly to look out the window at the first-years doing their final flying exams, small blurbs flying past against the soft falling of purely white snow.

"It comes from the late Old English 'werre', from an Anglo-Norman French variant of the Old French 'guerre', from a Germanic base that shares the meaning of the English word 'worse'."

She paused and turned back to the five students. James stayed quiet, so his friends remained quiet as well.

"There are three basic meanings for the word 'worse'," McGonagall continued, standing up and placing her hands, palms down against her desk for support. "Number one: more serious and severe. Number two: more rephresensive or evil. Number three: in a less than satisfactory or pleasant condition."

James frowned. "I'm not sure I understand, Professor."

"This war is going to get a whole lot worse before things will get better, Mr. Potter," she explained. "People will get hurt, possibly die - people you know, people you love. There will be traitors, there will be spies, and there will be destruction in the figurative sense and the literal sense throughout our entire society. There will be pain, misery, heartache, betrayal … And signing yourselves up as soldiers to the cause will put you facing the brunt of all of this."

"You think we won't be able to handle the fighting," Sirius determined, frowning.

"I think, Mr. Black," McGonagall retorted. "That you lot have been sheltered by the walls of Hogwarts for a majority of the war and may not understand the seriousness -" She glared at his responding smirk. "-of the situation. I'm sure you all remember Ignatius Weasley?"

"Yeah!" Peter lit up. "He was my favorite Prefect besides Remus, of course!"

Instead of the chuckle that the boys and Lily expected, McGonagall's face stayed blank. "He was killed last week by Death Eaters."

All four boys instantly paled.

"But he was an Auror!" Black retorted.

"As well as an Order member," McGonagall added. "And he was ambushed during a mission - knocked around a few times before being hit with the Killing Curse and left in the alleyway he'd been cornered in. He'd been on You-Know-Who's list for a while."

The boys had no response; neither did Lily. They all simply stood there, taking to watching their feet as they processed that information. Ignatius had been in his early twenties, only a few years older than they were now. Lily looked back up when she heard McGonagall sigh.

"You've all lived happy times here, and you should cherish that, but the world as it stands today just isn't the same. War isn't fun missions and a clean line between good versus evil. You-Know-Who has just brought too much death and destruction for many people to find happiness right now."

James squeezed Lily's hand, turning to look at his friends with an intensity Lily had never seen before. They shared a silent conversation for a few moments before James turned back to McGonagall, looking just as determined as he had when they'd first walked into her office.

"That's why we're going to fight," he decided. "All due respect, Professor, we'll fight with or without the Order."

She gave James a firm smile - but Lily could tell McGonagall was hiding something behind it. "I'll tell Headmaster Dumbledore to expect you in his office just after curfew tonight."

XXX

He'd been at James' house with the other four, laughing the time away as they always did, when he received the letter.

Dear Mr. Black,

We regret to inform you …

He'd gone straight home with no explanation; he couldn't face his friends. They wouldn't understand; no one would ever understand.

… Intelligence from the Department of Mysteries confirmed that a soul passed through the Veil at approximately two minutes past eleven yesterday evening …

He threw chairs, upturned tables, chucked books - whatever he could get his hands on in his small apartment was being destroyed in his rage. His eyes were fuzzy with the angry tears he refused to let spill over. His teeth were clenched to the point where they were starting to hurt, but he didn't care. What did it matter anymore, anyway?

… determined to be that of Lord Regulus Black of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, London …

"Why didn't I do more to help him!" Sirius chastised himself as he grabbed plates and glasses, unable to find any relief in hearing them shatter across the room. "He was only fucking eighteen!"

… The Wizengamot Administration Services have therefore decided to revoke your disownment from the Black family by the wish of your late brother's will. You shall receive complete and unlimited access to the Black Family Vault in Gringotts, the deed to Number 12 Grimmauld Place in London, the Lordship of the Black family …

Sirius didn't care about a stupid title; he didn't care about the money or that horrid, depressing childhood home. It briefly - very briefly - crossed his mind that he hoped Kreacher had already kicked the bucket. But he would never return to Number 12 Grimmauld Place while his mother was still alive; she'd find some way to blame him for Regulus' death, just as she found some way to blame him for every of ailment in her life.

Sirius could hear pained screaming; he could hear familiar voices calling out his name. He could feel hands reaching for him and immediately shied away. He kicked and swatted and cursed out whoever was trying to bother him now in between panicked, shallow breaths - he didn't care how ridiculous he may have looked; didn't they understand what he just lost? No, because no one would ever understand.

"Padfoot! C'mon, mate, snap out of it!"

"Sirius, stop!"

"Ow, that's my pudge, Sirius!"

… Your late brother's body cannot be recovered at this time; his passing seems to have occurred on an Uncharted location. An investigation into the cause of his death will begin as soon as we have a team of Aurors available …

'Bullshit,' Sirius thought as he grabbed another glass and chucked it across the room. He thought he heard a shocked yelp, but it could've just been his imagination. 'Reggie was branded. The Aurors will refuse to investigate the demise of a Death Eater. Why, Reggie? Was it Voldemort? Did you finally come to your senses and try to escape? Please give me a sign that you at least planned or tied to defect.'

"Sirius, it's me; it's James. I'm here, brother, just snap out of it."

Sirius freezes, comprehending for the first time that James is standing in front of him, hands grasping his shoulders firmly. Remus and Peter were behind him, picking up broken pieces of dishware scattered around on the floor of the small living room of Sirius' apartment.

"Sirius, what happened?" James asked once he was sure Sirius was now completely aware of his surroundings. "What did that letter say?"

Sirius violently shook his head; he couldn't say it - that would make it real, irreversible. No, any minute now, Regulus would burst through Sirius' front door, telling Sirius about his brave escape from the Death Eaters and how he would happily be disowned and live with Sirius - they would truly be brothers again, just as close as they were before Hogwarts.

James lifted his hands from Sirius' shoulders and attempted to smooth out the normally perfect curls that were now a tangled mess. Sirius could see the worry in James' eyes; he could see Remus and Peter glancing at him almost every other second as they continued to pick up the mess he'd made. They didn't need to worry about him - Regulus would be here any moment. Sirius was sure of it.

"Sirius?"

James' humorless tone terrified Sirius; he couldn't pull his gaze away from his best friend's uneasy brown pupils.

"James?" All of the boys turned towards the door that led to the kitchen, where Lily stood with a short parchment in her left hand. Sirius almost trembled at the sight of the letter. "It's … It's Regulus …"

Remus and Peter paused and Sirius could feel James tense up; they all looked at Sirius, the worry tripling on their faces. Sirius avoided their gazes, looking to Lily for help. But Lily's forlorn expression broke him.

We offer our condolences for your loss, Lord Black.

Sincerely,

Mafalda Higgs, Chief Warlock, Wizengamot Administration Services

The next thing Sirius knew, he was on the floor. The tears were now flowing in small streams freely down his cheeks and he was moaning over the pain that was now consuming his chest, threatening to swallow his heart whole. Then Remus' arms were around him, holding him securely against Remus' chest, and the pain lessened slightly. Remus was followed by James and Peter, who sandwiched Sirius between the three of them, all of them hanging on tighter the longer he cried.

Sirius intently watched Lily's yellow flats quietly cross the room and stop in front of him. She knelt down to her knees and a frown pulled on her lips as she reached forward and gently cupped Sirius' cheeks in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears. He brought his own hands up to cover hers, only managing to get one phrase out before dissolving into tears once more.

"I just want my brother back."

XXX

"So tell me how all of your friends are doing."

"Good, considering all these circumstances."

Lyall Lupin observed his only child - looking much older and frail than nineteen years - as he sat across the table from his father, observing the countryside scenery out the window that was behind Lyall. Remus looked tired - both in the mental sense and in the physical sense. His missions for the Order focused on infiltrating as many werewolf clans as he could to try and convince them to join the Order and figure out if any were already joined up with Voldemort.

"What about that more timid friend of yours?"

Remus turned his attention back to his father. "Peter? He went on his first mission last week. It'll probably be his last, to be fair. He came across a mother and her children when pursuing some suspected Death Eaters. They'd all been killed." Remus frowned. "He didn't handle it well. So Dumbledore's had Peter helping some of the Auror members organize any information we've gathered."

"And James? Is he still with that wonderful muggle-born girl?"

"Yeah," Remus smiled, tapping his fingers on the table. "They actually told us lads a few days ago that they're going to have a ceremony within the month. Found out they're expecting."

Lyall gave a small smirk. "You're smirking, Remus."

"Lily told James the night she found out," Remus explained, chuckling through his words and looking very relaxed for the first time in a long time. "James didn't really think … He dashed and dragged us three to the bar. He kept saying we just needed a Marauders night for no reason, and when he'd gotten himself completely pissed was when we found out what was going on. Lily's reaction when we got him home was quite comical."

Remus and Sirius raised an eyebrow at each other as James sat on the floor, the biggest pouting lip they'd ever seen him sport and spilling his beverage all over himself and the surrounding area.

"He's going to be so small! How can I protect him? So small!"

Sirius was the first to speak up after they were all silent in realization for a few minutes.

"You alright, mate?"

James looked at Sirius wide eyed. "Are you kidding, Padfoot? This is the happiest I have ever been!"

Sirius and Remus shared smiles and shakes of the head before pulling their friend to his feet while Peter made sure they weren't leaving anything behind or unpaid for. It didn't take long to get James back home to his and Lily's little apartment in Dover, where Lily anxiously stood at the door, a look of relief mixed with annoyance on her face when she saw James.

James practically draped himself over Lily once they'd reached the door. "I'm so sorry I ran off. I got scared. I'm still scared. But I'm happy, too."

Lily smiled and hugged him back. "It's alright, James, we'll figure-"

"Shh!" James said suddenly, dropping onto his knees and putting his head against her stomach. "I'm talking to my son."

Lily chuckled and patted James' messy hair. "It could be a girl, James."

"Could be twins!" Sirius added with a huge smile. "Or even quintuplets!"

Lily attempted to glare at Sirius but had to hold back a laugh when James actually started a conversation aimed at her stomach.

"I'm gonna ask your mum to marry me, but keep it a secret, 'cause I have to buy the ring first. And a broom … Not for the wedding, for you. Do you like Quidditch? Well, you probably don't know what that is yet." He lovingly patted her stomach and smiled. "Don't worry. I'll teach you. I'll teach you everything."

"And what of you and Sirius? Are you two still …"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You normally never bring 'us' up."

Lyall shifted in his seat and sighed, avoiding Remus' eyes as he searched for the words to say. "I'll be honest with you, Remus. After Greyback -" Remus didn't miss his father's guilty flinch at the werewolf's name. "I was ready to accept you no matter what; I wasn't going to let another prejudice of mine hurt you. And it may have been the stigma of the Black name, but I didn't like it at first."

Remus nodded in understanding. Remus had suspected his father wasn't too accepting of him and Sirius as a couple when they first told him. When he, James, and Peter had forgiven Sirius for the Willow Incident, they'd realized their feelings for each other and gave it a chance. They had been going strong, but …

The distrusting air of the war was starting to wear on them. Ever since Regulus' death, Sirius had become more suspicious of everyone he knew; Remus thought it was because Sirius was terrified of losing another person he loved, so he was trying to push them away enough that it would either hurt less or not at all.

And just the night before, they'd gotten into a huge fight at Sirius' apartment. Sirius had somehow convinced himself that one of the groups Remus was infiltrating was loyal to Voldemort and that they'd convinced Remus to join him as well. Remus had gotten so mad he'd mindlessly reminded Sirius of what happened to the last person he kept hounding about being a potential Death Eater. Sirius had gotten so upset that Remus had to apparate out for fear of their fight turning physical.

It wasn't Sirius' fault he was so skeptical anymore; life had handed him the short stick in a lot of categories so far. But Remus knew how happy they were without the war looming over their shoulders, and that, in his opinion, was worth fighting for.

"I think Hope would have loved him."

Remus came back to the present, locking eyes with his father and cocking an eyebrow up in confusion. His father simply shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"The first thing your mother did when we found out about your lycanthropy was demand to know if I was going to accept you." Lyall chuckled, his smile widening. "Of course I was going to accept you. You're my son, Remus, and I love you no matter what. Thinking back on that … I realized that there was no reason to be hesitant about this; I'm only being the kind of father who's worried about if their child has found the one that will treat them right."

"Well," Remus replied dismissively. "We're still young. But he makes me happy."

Lyall nodded in approval. "Then I'm happy too, son."

XXX

A thin, silver wedding band glistened against the warm rays of the setting sun that seeped through the window of a little Dover apartment that was being packed up, what little amount of personal belongings there were. James hadn't imagined that after only a year, he and Lily would be packing up and moving for a new home - and for all the wrong reasons.

Lily was due to give birth to their son in two months. They already had the perfect name picked out - Harry, after James' recently deceased grandfather, Henry Potter, who had always gone by picked name. James knew having a baby during what was probably going to be the height of the First Wizarding War was going to be stressful - but James had never imagined the war would directly come after his baby.

Dumbledore had come to visit them barely a month ago; he checked on James often since the wedding. James had wondered if Dumbledore felt sympathy towards the loss of James' parents shortly after the wedding from dragon pox - but that loss paled to all that would change after that one night.

"Tea, Dumbledore?"

"No, I won't be staying long, Mrs. Potter. We have pressing matters to attend to, at once. I'm not at all happy to say that your lives may be in more danger now than they ever were."

James looked up from the prophet he had been reading across the table from Dumbledore, eyes slightly narrowed; sometimes James really hated Dumbledore's tendency to speak in riddles. "What do you mean, Dumbledore?"

"I'm sure you remember Miss Sybill Trelawney?"

Both James and Lily nodded; she had been a quiet Ravenclaw in their year. The only time she'd ever spoken to any Marauder was during their final year to declare a 'Trance' that Sirius would end up in prison. They all avoided her after that for Sirius' sake.

"I met with her only a few days ago," Dumbledore explained. "She applied for the position as Divination Professor. I'm sure you've encountered her so-called 'visions'." They both nodded as Lily finally joined them at the table, a large mug of green tea in her hands. "As I dismissed her, she was entranced into what I believe could be a real vision."

James opened his mouth to ask a question but was immediately silenced by Dumbledore's hand. "A spy for the Order has informed me of Lord Voldemort's discovery of the possible prophecy."

"Prophecy?" Lily interrupted. "You said she had a vision."

"They often go hand in hand, Mrs. Potter," Dumbledore calmly explained. "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not. And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …"

Lily instantly paled - Madam Pomfrey had told them that their precious Harry would be born sometime at the end of July. James felt like his heart lost the ability to properly function for a full minute as Dumbledore examined their reactions with a blank look.

"That bastard thinks it's our boy, doesn't he?" James growled. "He thinks it's Harry."

Dumbledore sadly nodded. "We must act immediately; I suggest you begin packing, as I hope to move you within the month - only a few things will take time, such as the spells to be used for your protection. Auror Moody will stay with you until then, if that will ease your minds. I've chosen an Order safe house in the sleepy village of Godric's Hollow, where I have dwelled myself - it is a beautiful place - but it will be up to you to decide on a Secret Keeper."

As James put the final little trinket in the last box, he noticed his hands were slightly shaking. He hadn't allowed himself to really think about what was actually going on until now. He'd simply gone into a sort of autopilot mode after Dumbledore left them that night - take care of Lily, pack the house up, pray every night that my family will survive this.

"James?"

James realized there was a pair of familiar thin, tiny hands now over his own, and he looked up to lock eyes with the woman he fell for when he was eleven years old.

"You've been looking at that same china doll from your mother for the past hour," Lily frowned, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach. "Talk to me. Have you thought about a Secret Keeper at all? You know that's all Dumbledore needs left so that we can move to Godric's Hollow, and you keep putting it off; don't even try to deny it."

James sighed, looking back down to their hands. "I don't want it to be real, Lils. Our baby-"

"Has Dumbledore, Padfoot, Wormtail, Moony, and the entire Order looking out for him, James," she chuckled. "Now, a Secret Keeper. It should be someone in the Order that we know for sure we can trust-"

"Sirius," James answered definitely.

Lily's responding smile calmed James' nerves tremendously. "How did I know? Well, I already sent a letter Dumbledore's way about ten minutes ago, so we can expect him for dinner. And since you've finally finished packing, why don't you help me in the kitchen?"

James couldn't help but chuckle as his wife pulled him up and dragged him towards the kitchen. "Why don't you just use magic?"

"James Potter, are you saying you don't like my cooking?"

"Not at all! But we have magical abilities for a reason, Lils."

"Stop being such a lazy arse, you wonderful husband of mine."

XXX

He had tried to beg Sirius and James not to do it - not to change Secret Keeper to him; they didn't know the depths he'd fallen into. He was the traitor among them, a lowly Death Eater, but he never intended to betray James or Lily or especially their precious baby Harry - he just couldn't stop the Dark Lord, a master legilimens, from forcing the information from his mind before he could put up a fight.

It was as if the Dark Lord had access to the brink of his mind all the time; only a week after Sirius and James made the change, refusing to tell Remus for some reason that they wouldn't tell their scared friend, the Dark Lord called Peter to his headquarters - the Riddle House in Little Hangleton. Upon Peter's hesitant arrival, he'd been held down by three other Death Eaters while Voldemort forced his way through Peter's mind until he got where the Potter family was hiding. As punishment for not coming immediately to the Dark Lord with the information, he made a point to Crucio his terrified victim three times for several minutes; each time felt like an eternity to Peter. He'd been left on his own, twitching on the floor, as everyone parted to complete the dark task Voldemort sought to do.

Peter didn't know how long it took to get enough of a feeling back in his legs to be able to stand and wobble over to the nearest fireplace, grabbing an abandoned pot of floo dust. All that Peter could comprehend was that he needed to get to James, Lily, and Harry; Peter didn't care if they hated him for the rest of his life once he explained what had happened. He just needed to save his best friend and adopted nephew.

"Number 3 Church Lane, Godric's Hollow!"

Thick clouds of dust met Peter's eyes and lungs; blinking away the tears from the irritation on his pupils and silencing his coughs best he could through his jumper, Peter pushed through the dark fog into the quaint cottage - but instead of hoping to catch James off guard by his sudden visit in the middle of the night, Peter was met by his worst nightmare come to life.

The once cozy, Gryffindor-styled lounge room but in absolute shambles, as if a bomb had been set off. Almost nothing was recognizable anymore - it was either covered by dust and debris or a part of the debris itself, smashed into a million pieces. Peter could just feel the swarm of dark magic surrounding the place. Then his eyes fell upon the stairs, and his heart broke into a million pieces like everything else in the cottage.

James was slumped on the bottom half of the stairs, no wand in sight, completely still. As Peter fearfully walked closer, he saw James' eyes were wide open in fear, now glazed over with the passing of his mortal life. Fat, ugly tears almost immediately jumped from Peter's eyes, and he didn't try to stop them.

This was all his fault.

Peter fell to his knees by James and took his friend's cold hand. "I-I'm so s-sorry, James! H-He forced it f-from me! I was t-too late t-to save you, I'm s-so sorry!" It was then that Peter heard a familiar cry rise above his own. "Harry."

Peter scrambled to his feet as fast as he could; he was careful while passing James then bolted up the rest of the stairs and down the short hallway into Harry's nursery. One of the walls was completely gone, and another was crumbling piece by piece. Peter only looked at Lily lying on the floor for a second before forcing himself to tear his eyes away - it didn't matter that he didn't look long; these images of the friends he'd betrayed would be burned into his mind for the rest of his life.

Peter reached forward and picked up a bawling Harry, who was slightly bleeding from a lightning-bolt shaped mark that was now scarring his little forehead. Peter muttered a spell to make the blood disappear and kissed the scar before hugging Harry to his chest and continuing to cry himself.

"I'm so sorry, Harry," Peter shakily whispered into Harry's thin, bushy hair. "It's my fault your mum and dad are dead. But … But don't you worry; I won't let anything else happen to you, promise. I'll take you straight to Sirius, and he'll-"

Peter paused, his tears stopping and his grip on Harry tightening as the little baby continued to cry. Peter couldn't go to Sirius, he realized; Sirius would instantly turn on Peter and try to kill him for daring to touch Harry after getting James and Lily killed. Consumed by fear, Peter quickly dumped Harry back into his crib and looked around the room in a panic, trying to figure out what to do. Someone would be arriving soon, and there could be no evidence that he was at fault-

Peter's eyes landed on a familiar piece of wood, lying abandoned on the ground - Voldemort's wand. Peter quickly scooped up the evil outlet of magic that had stolen his best friend and practically his own life as he knew it, and with one last look at Harry, Peter turned into Wormtail and scampered from the nursery to the safety of the dark streets.

It only took Sirius two days to find Peter - he angrily cornered the scared young man Sherborne, Dorset, hiding among the ruins of one of the historical castles. Peter didn't give up easily; he took Sirius on a wild goose chase through the town before Sirius managed to get him cornered by a small market set up by unsuspecting muggles.

"I'll kill you," Sirius spat in a low, dangerous tone. "I'll kill you, Pettigrew. Just like you killed James and Lily."

"No, Padfoot," Peter begged. "You don't understand; he-"

"I don't care for any of your excuses, Pettigrew," Sirius inched closer to Peter, his wand trained at his former friend. Peter's fear was spiking to dangerous levels, looking desperately for any way out. "No wonder your animagus is a rat; I should've seen this coming a long time ago."

Peter glared at Sirius; if Sirius wouldn't listen to reason, then it was his own fault for what was about to happen next. "Then I guess you'll understand why I'm about to do this, huh, Sirius?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow in confusion, distracted just long enough for Peter to pull out his wand as he screamed, "How could you betray them like that, you monster!" Sirius' eyes widened in realization as Peter flicked his wand twice: the first cast a protection bubble around himself, the second sent the Blasting Curse in all directions. As debris flew up, Peter made a split decision and used his wand again to slice one of his fingers off to make it appear Sirius had blown the rest of him up.

Pocketing his wand, Peter transformed back into Wormtail and ran to the cover of one of the overturned market carts as the unmistakable sound of Aurors apparating into the scene popped through his over-sensitive ears. He watched with shiver-inducing guilt as Sirius was magically cuffed and dragged away while the other Aurors counted twelve dead muggles. He quickly scurried off as Aurors began investigating, only sticking around the area long enough to see them find his finger and deduce what he wanted them to believe before fleeing.

Peter attended James and Lily's funeral as Wormtail a week later, avoiding coming out of hiding for the fear of Remus recognizing his animagus form. He almost went into full blown panic when two hands gripped him and picked up as he went to leave, unable to handle watching the service anymore. And Peter didn't calm down until he heard a young boy's voice as he held Peter up to show his parents. "Can I keep him? Please?"

The red-headed parents shared a look before smiling and nodding.

"What will you name him, Percy?"

"Scabbers!"