Sauce
Even Time travellers have to eat. But when River takes the Doctor to a festival to cheer him up, she didn't count on what they put in the sauce.
I don't own Doctor Who, River Song, or the TARDIS.
This does contain sexual references (in the second part) and you should stop reading now if that offends you.
Please review if you would like to read the second part.
Her parents were gone from The Doctor's life and she had agreed to travel with him for a little while at least. But did he have to be so miserable all the time? River did a mental catalogue of the places they had visited over the past few days.
Wednesday had been the tomb of the Forgotten Children. It had been stunningly beautiful and well worth seeing, but the quiet of the memorial had soon worn thin.
A few days later he took her to see the Swinging Rock on Orpheos 7. It had sounded promising and she thought she might get a dance. Only the swinging rock turned out to be balanced dangerously over a small town which refused to see the danger.
The last straw had been the museum at Akeos. The picture he painted of the facility appealed to her inner archeologist and she warily agreed to go. But he had spent more than half the time there mooching around a history of Gallifrey exhibit.
River had hardly spoken to him since they had returned the previous night. And yet, as he entered the control room the next evening, attempting a smile at her, she knew he was trying and she took pity ion him.
'Right! I'm letting HER choose the next destination,' she announced, pulling a few levers to get the TARDIS started but deliberately leaving the co-ordinates blank. 'She always takes you where you need to go.
Almost immediately the control room rocked energetically from side to side as if she was excited to be let off the leash. River held on tightly while The Doctor swayed on his feet a few seconds before managing to grab a hold of a railing.
'Whoo hoo hoo!' he shouted with a terrific grin that lightened River's heart. 'She's up for it today!'
They hadn't been travelling long when numerous lights flashed all over the controls and they lurched sideways, landing with a rattle and a shake.
The Doctor pushed his long hair out of his face and shot her a wicked grin.
'I'm so glad you're better at flying her than me,' he quipped.
As he turned, clapping his hands above his head and heading for the exit, River gave the TARDIS a quick pat. She knew EXACTLY what she was doing.
The door opened onto a large throng of people who appeared completely unconcerned that a small blue box had just appeared on the side of the street. They pushed past one another under a string of lanterns, waving flags and eating things on sticks and generally having a good time.
'Oh! A festival!' The Doctor said with a laugh. 'I love a good Festival. What's this one for? Happy New God? Or maybe it's Merry Burning Mass?'
River followed him, closing the door to the TARDIS and excusing herself to the people he pushed past, oblivious.
The street wound upwards towards a massive temple which people came and went from in perfect freedom. A crowd of festival goers had gathered at the bottom of a large statue placing candles, flowers, food and other offerings at it's feet.
'Oh she looks lovely!' the Doctor exclaimed. Hands on hips he stood gazing up at the large bronze image of a very overweight woman with several children cradled in her massive hands. Something about the way she was smiling disturbed River. It was like she knew something that they didn't and the information might prove important to their well being. She shuddered slightly.
But at least the Doctor appeared genuinely happy.
He'd stopped examining the statue and was watching a smaller group of people who were looking nervously around themselves and waiting by a heavy iron door.
'I wonder what they're up to?' he said, moving slightly in their direction. 'Don't you want to know what they're up to River?'
'I have a feeling I'm about to find out whether I want to or not,' she said with a roll of her eyes.
The Doctor took hold of her hand and lead her over to the door which had just opened. A large blue skinned man was letting people through only after they had shown him some kind of invitation.
When it was their turn The Doctor held up the psychic paper and flourished it at the blue man.
'Here's our invitation,' he assured him, and adjusted his bow tie importantly.
Without any hesitation, the blue man let them through and River and The Doctor followed the small group of excited people down a small dark hall. It lead them around behind the great statue where a large, well lit room had been set for an extravagant dinner.
The Doctor rubbed his hands together and shared a secret wink with River.
'Excellent, I have eaten lunch yet.'
A delicate little girl dressed in gold brocade showed them to their seats which were merely cushions on the ground around the fantastic spread of food awaited them. The Doctor helped himself to a hefty plate of bread and cheese, passing another plate to River. Next to them, a tall and skinny nudged River in the side.
'Make sure you get plenty of the Festival sauce,' he said in a jovial voice and passed her a large jug of thick, red jelly.
The Doctor thanked him, took the jug and began to dollop generous amounts of it over River's bread.
She gave it a suspicious sniff and was rewarded with a sweet, enticing scent.