Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
A/N: Really simply me, dreaming, pouring my heart out, wishing. Wishing I could wake to love, to feeling love, on those days that can turn evil and hurtful otherwise.
Stronger
The sheets are fresh, but today that does not give him any comfort, not when waking up with his head so painfully pounding. There is too much, but somehow he cannot shake the feeling that all that pounding has more to do with something missing. Something important.
For a moment he simply tries to shake the feeling, quite literally, head moving from side to side. Nothing. If anything the pounding has increased.
Has my heart dislocated at night and decided to just…move.
His left hand finding his chest tells him otherwise, No, there it is, stuttering, maybe from the extra weight his head seems to have put on, over night, as he moves into a sitting position, stuttering, but there.
xxxx
Things are okay, were okay, yesterday, Weren't they?
All he knows, all he can think of right now is that feeling, that feeling of waking up empty, except for the pounding.
A heartbeat means you are alive, that in case of an accident resuscitation makes, well…sense.
How come then, he thinks, that it hardly ever seems to be enough to truly make me feel that way, alive.
His mind still won't allow him to figure it out, to see what he is missing.
Breathing, too, means we are alive, apparently…so does it make me a little more dead that breathing, is feeling more difficult today, living… suddenly hard. Again.
He is out of bed after some struggle with the covers.
And there it is again, the feeling of something being…just…off.
When has the way to the kitchen become so long?
xxxx
And then, it really is funny, how, as soon as he finds a sign of life, of love, all ache is…no, not forgotten, not gone…. No, it is better, much better. One look, once glimpse and there is something stronger to be felt as his eyes fall on Kurt, standing, hair still wet from the shower he must have stepped out of not too long ago.
Kurt, it is a brilliant, filling, no, fulfilling thought.
Maybe pain is just the absence of love.
xxxx
Kurt turns, and there is just them, Just us, for a moment that means something, means everything.
Eyes are still wide, Kurt smiling at Blaine's curious expression as he nears him, like a treasure just discovered, and not quite believed to truly be, just yet.
Kurt puts the egg whisk he is still holding down as Blaine's fingertips find his skin, and gently tracing up his arms, send a shiver through his body.
Blaine closes his arms around him and for minutes they just stand, hugging, whole. Hearts beating so close, breathing relaxed, even.
One deep breath and Blaine knows what had caused the feeling of overbearing emptiness this morning.
"Being with you, nothing has ever felt so right," Blaine breathes into Kurt's skin.
Blaine lets out a whimper at the feeling, spreading through him, so real, as Kurt, moving a hand between them, over Blaine's pounding heart, whispers back, "I love you."
Maybe pain is just the absence of love.
Maybe love is stronger.