What is this-ah-Skype?
This was written at the very end of season 6, (From my POV), so I don't know what happens. But, all this means, is the grand and glorious discovery of Skype by the Doctor and River. It's a new regen of the Doctor, but I don't know any plot bunnies for season 7, so this is my rendition. Written in Skype messaging.
Doctor: This is brilliant! An IM-ing software! In 2012! Oh, I love humans.
River: Doctor. You travel in time. This is nothing new.
Doctor: Well, that's a funny story. Remind me to tell you about it.
River: Sweetie. We have 'til the end of time and a few seconds. Just tell me.
Doctor: Well, I suppose that's true. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
River: And what is?
Doctor: That's beside the point. But anyways, we Time Lords did have IM-ing. With bananas, mind you, as well as being sent by neuron pulses. But I never really thought about installing one in the Tardis.
River: I already installed one, sweetie.
Doctor: Did you? Beginners luck.
River: *Sighs* Are we just going to sit here, sending dull text messages, or are we going to go out and have some nice adventures.
Doctor: I told you, Sexy's resting.
River: SEXY?
Doctor: Not you, the blue box. Naughty girl.
[Username MasterMwahaha joined this chat.]
Doctor: What? Can't you just stay dead? You're worse than Rory!
MasterMwahaha: Rory? I'll need to look him up. Can't have any competition, can we? Damn, I wish I'd changed my username.
Doctor: Rory's a Roman with a gun and a ginger, Scottish wife. Probably a bit more than you can handle.
MasterMwahaha: Scottish you say? Perhaps. But that comment about staying dead was hurtful, Doctor. So which Regen are you on?
Doctor: 12th. And I want you to STAY DEAD. For once.
MasterMwahaha: Oh come on, Doctor. I'm you best enemy and worst friend. I couldn't really leave you alone without any Time Lords to keep you company, could I?
River: Bugger off. That's what I'm for.
MasterMwahaha: Oh! A Time Lady! This could end very well. Very, very well.
Doctor: Bugger off. That's what I'm for.
MasterMwahaha: Off, er, "Dancing," shall we say?
Doctor: I suppose you were sitting in a spaceship somewhere, spying on us.
MasterMwahaha: In the future, yes.
Doctor: Ah time travel. :)
MasterMwahaha: What the hell is wrong with you? A smiley face. A SMILEY? You're no Doctor I remember.
Doctor: Time Lord biology. Therefore, not my fault.
MasterMwahaha: *Snicker*
Doctor: That's not what I meant! Bugger off!
River: But maybe you should have meant that, sweetie.
Doctor: AHHH!
[Username: Doctor has left the conversation.]
MasterMwahaha: He he he.
River: Still nervous. So insecure.
MasterMwahaha: 900 years haven't changed that much, have they?
River: Oh, he's changed more than you can imagine.
MasterMwahaha: And I suppose you would know that better than anyone else, wouldn't you, MELODY?
River: Not quite as dramatic in text, darling.
MasterMwahaha: So I'm darling, and he's sweetie?
River: What else? We've got a blue box named Sexy.
MasterMwahaha: So I hear. But, I must say, you seemed a tiny bit, ah, attracted to our Doctor?
River: Our? Mine. I'm his wife.
MasterMwahaha: *Raises eyebrow*
River: Surprised that he's settled down? Well don't be. He's as wild as ever.
MasterMwahaha: *Snickers*
[Username: Amelia Pond has requested to join the conversation. Accept or Deny?]
River: Accept.
[Username: Amelia Pond has joined the conversation]
River: Hello, mother.
Amelia Pond: And where the hell have you been?
River: Just talking to your "Raggedy Doctor."
MasterMwahaha: I know about the kiss. And the bed.
Amelia Pond: I'm warning you, I'm really cross. I haven't found my daughter yet.
MasterMwahaha: You're talking to her.
Amelia Pond: Well that doesn't count, now does it? I mean baby Melody, not River. For God's sake, she could be my mum!
River: Amelia, I could be your mum's mum's mum's mum's mum.
MasterMwahaha: Don't start that again.
[Username: Rory the Roman has requested to join the conversation. Accept or Deny?]
Amelia: Accept.
[Username: Rory the Roman has joined the conversation.]
MasterMwahaha: I suppose he's the Roman?
Rory the Roman: Figure that out yourself, did you?
MasterMwahaha: Yes. Yes I did.
Amelia Pond: Oi! The Master bloke! Tell me where my raggedy doctor is!
MasterMwahaha: You might as well ask your "loyal" daughter. She knows.
Amelia Pond: River, what are you not telling us?
River: Look, he's asked me to make sure that you didn't know where we were.
Amelia Pond: Rule #2. River lies.
River: Good girl. I can't tell you exactly where we are, but I can tell you this: We're on Earth.
Amelia Pond: That's a good girl. Come on boys, we're going to find the Doctor.
Rory the Roman: Boys? As in plural?
Amelia Pond: Unless "MasterMwahaha" is a girl…
MasterMwahaha: And what makes you think that I'm going to respect what YOU want?
Amelia Pond: Somehow, I get the feeling that you want to find the Doctor as much as I do, and I know him better than anyone else in the world. He's off getting into trouble. Probably risking his life. Do you really plan on skipping out on that?
MasterMwahaha: *Sigh* It's always the women. Well, he always did like to play around with Earth girls. Come on Rory. We've got a Time Lord to find.