Author's Note: I wanted to make something for the holidays, but couldn't think of a way to put it in my stories in a way that made sense timeline-wise. I could get away with it having Splatoween in ROTL, but my other stories start more around Summer time.
I couldn't really get to the Winter holidays without a timeskip that wouldn't make sense story-wise…yet…so enjoy this non-canon Squidmas special!
It mostly borrows story elements from "Into the Salmonlands" with obvious differences, mostly for fun. So reading my previous stories would help this make more sense.
…
Message start…
Squidmas Eve Night…
Twas the night before Squidmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Then again, that would surprise no one,
For all furry creatures minus two cats were already gone.
...
Then into an apartment, without a fuss,
Came the senile old fart Cap'n Cuttlefish dressed as Father Squidmas.
And alongside him, a happy little elf.
It was the Salmonling Terry learning to make money for himself.
A job was just done and they were off to bed
For early bird catches the worm as Cuttlefish said.
A human expression the squids clearly stole
Just like everything else in that city-wide waste hole.
...
Elsewhere, a few doors away,
Sarah and Guyver were about to end their day.
The two had just gotten ready for bed
And Guyver tucked Sarah in with a kiss on the head.
He was about to leave the room, but was asked to stay,
Sarah saying "Why not? Tomorrow's Squidmas Day!"
...
Having just left a Squidmas party several blocks down
Were four good friends just clowning around.
Otis winning a faux swordfight with Damien
Only to be taken down himself by Samantha, yet again.
Zoey sipped hot cocoa while watching the sight
Hoping that Damien would be quite alright.
...
Elsewhere, the Squid Sisters have a ball
Hosting a party that includes musicians one and all.
From groups that have a large amount of fame,
To small groups like the Tanin Trio-wait, make that your band's name!
The Squid Sisters would share presents with Marina and Pearl,
Though the thought of those two getting anything makes me want to hurl!
...
Elsewhere at the plaza, an Octopus took a seat
As he showed his protégé how to drop an Octivus beat.
Sylvia, sipping cocoa, watched with glee
While Ivan sat in a sweater that was shella ugly.
It is interesting how little the protégé knows
Perhaps for the best though, for he might find himself with foes.
...
Back in Cirrina, for the holiday,
Amphia helped the Ligos with their Squidmas display.
Though distracting herself hanging decorations everywhere,
Amphia still wished her son could be there.
Stanley calmed her with a jingle to sing
And while there may be some tension between them, they won't be a thing.
...
Down in Octo Canyon, in the domes deep,
Cassandra had some trouble getting to sleep.
She wondered if it'd help to get massaged in Octopia,
Then looked to Arnold and got an idea.
She hopped on Arnold, who woke with a fright,
Straddled him and said "I'm yours for the night."
Arnold rolled his eyes, thinking "Not this again"
And told her "Okay Cass, untie me then."
Cass pouted and whined, saying "You'll just run away"
And Arnold replied "Then you don't get any today."
Cass rolled back over and called him a pain in the butt,
And prayed that one day, she'll get a smut.
...
Back above at the Cabin were Beth and Mei
Who were resting there after patrolling today.
Mei got up from the couch where she'd reside
And asked Beth to stop smoking and come back inside.
Beth agreed due to the cold weather
And the two relaxed on the sofa together.
Beth then decided to go for a kiss,
But Mei stopped her, saying "Brush your beak, Miss!"
Beth did just that to avoid her girlfriend's wrath
And Mei teased her, saying "Now if you'd only take a bath."
A second opinion: Both of you stink!
If not in body, then in soul is what I've come to think.
...
At the Rivers, the Salmon would rest
For fighting in the cold winter snow would not be best.
Salmonlings around a fire would sing aloud
While one played a fiddle that Finnia had found.
She would start a song and the rest would follow
And each would eat a roasted marshmallow.
When they'd run out, they would start feeling sore
Until their Papa would return to them with plenty of bags more.
...
Elsewhere at the Gorge what could be found
Was a lone Inkling playing piano in the lounge.
She'd play her mother's song to calm her fear
Not knowing that nearby, an Elite Octoling would hear.
Swaying his head to the pleasant sound,
He'd leave quietly when she'd stop and look around.
...
All of these souls rest in quiet moonlight
As they all enjoy their Squidmas Eve night.
...
As for me though, I just sit and observe
As these superfluous nobodies inhabit the earth.
I choose to leave them alone for now though,
As I need to maintain focus on fixing Kamabo.
All will be revealed in due time…
But at the moment I need to repair after this heinous crime.
Too many things to work on, not one should I miss,
But for now I'll bid you farewell and a merry Squidmas…
…
Wait, would you even celebrate that? What that was it humans celebrated? Wait, did I even explain who these people are?!
…Forget it…
I don't even know if you're still around to receive these messages...since you're so far behind on yours...
Then again, we didn't get the "ships destroyed" message from the black box…
Whatever…
Kamabo Repair Operation to Ark Orion: Out.
Message End...