Title: Sparky

Author: Trapper Creek Kaniac

Fandom: Leverage

Category: Humor, Family

Pairing: Parker, team

Warning(s): none.

Summary: Parker's new best friend is a stuffed hippo named Sparky... that farts. The rest of the team is not amused, and hilarity ensues.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and places belong to the show's awesome creators John Rogers and Chris Downey, I am only having some fun with them. I do not own Leverage and am not affiliated with the show other than being a obsessed devoted fan.

Author's Note: Written for the Leverageland's Hiest #6 Parker prompt. If you're an NCIS fan, a slight crossover if you squint. Enjoy!


It was a typical Wednesday mid-afternoon in Boston. Despite the team not currently working on a job, and actually having some down time, they all somehow still ended up at Nate's apartment. Since the team had moved in, Nate had given up all hope of ever having his apartment completely to himself, and was slowing warming up to the idea.

Nate and Sophie were sitting at the dark hardwood dining table in the kitchen. A cup of coffee - just that, no added whiskey - occupied Nate's right hand and the morning's newspaper was in his left. Sophie was earnestly pouring over the latest addition of Entertainment Weekly, specifically the section dedicated to plays and musicals. A title of a play that she had recently auditioned for but didn't get the part caught her sharp eye. The reviewer had dared to give it an A minus - without her! Oh, the injustice!

Hardison, who would rather spend his time in the cushy "offices" of Leverage Consulting & Co. - also known as Nathan Ford's living quarters - than his own less-than-shabby condo, was sitting behind his laptop typing away on the keyboard, completely engrossed in his task.

Eliot was reclining in one of Nate's overstuffed armchairs with his feet propped on the small coffee table, and a book in his hands. An opened beer sat on the table next to his feet.

And Parker... had disappeared.

Pffttthhbb.

Eliot's eyes came up and he glanced at Hardison, who had stopped typing and was glaring in his direction.

"Hardison..."

"Hey, man, it wasn't me!"

Nate, pretending not to notice, hide a smile in his coffee cup; Sophie ignored them.

Twenty seconds passed. Eliot took a swallow from his beer and turned a page. Then...

Pffffftttthhhbbbb.

This time Eliot closed his book and glared at the hacker. "Damn it, Hardison!"

Hardison held up his hands in mock surrender. "I swear, I didn't do it!"

Pffttthhbb.

The sound had come from the other side of the room, near the door. Four pairs of eyes turned towards it, and saw Parker standing by the door, clutching a large, gray stuffed animal.

"Parker, what is that thing!" Sophie exclaimed.

"It's a stuffed hippo!" Parker exclaimed happily, hugging the hippo and skipping into the main living area. "I named him Sparky. He farts when you squeeze him!" She enthusiastically demonstrated.

"Ugh!" Sophie dropped her head on the table and hid her face in her arms.

Eliot, now standing, closed his eyes with a frustrated sigh. He was seriously considering banging his head on the nearest hard object. Repeatedly.

"Seriously?" was all Nate said, hiding a smile

Hardison closed his laptop and stood. "Parker, how much chocolate have you had?"

The bright-eyed thief shrugged. "A couple bars, why?"

"Oh, no reason." Hardison rolled his eyes.

"So, what do you guys think of Sparky?"

"It's a farting hippo, Parker." Nate sighed.

"Yeah, so?"

"You don't see anything wrong with that?"

"No, I think it's awesome!" Parker squeezed the hippo to punctuate her point.


Two days later Parker was still carrying the hippo around with almost everywhere she went. And annoying the rest of the team to no end.

Nate had found a new job for the team – not that here was any shortage of people who needed their help – and he hoped it would take Parker's mind off the hippo. The farting hippo did have its advantages, though. For the past couple of days his apartment had actually been somewhat quiet, something he though would never be possible again.

The team was gathered around the table in front of the screens, waiting for the briefing to start. Hardison assumed his usual position to the left as Parker squeezed between Eliot and Sophie, still holding the hippo. Eliot shot her an annoyed look.

Hardison brought up a photo and launched into his presentation about the history of their next mark.

Pfffthb. Pffffttthhhbbb.

Eliot growled, "Stop."

She squeezed the hippo again just to annoy him. Pfffffttthhbbb.

"Parker, if you don't stop, I swear, I'm gonna rip that thing's head off."

"Noooo!" The thief protested, hugging the hippo protectively and subsequently making it fart again. "Eliot, you can't tear Sparky's head off like the pinata!"

The look on Eliot's face said otherwise. Parker reluctantly stopped, though she still held the hippo in her arms, and the briefing continued without interruption.

The meeting over and a plan decided on, the team began to disperse to prepare for the job. Nate headed toward the kitchen for another cup of coffee and Sophie followed him. Hardison turned back to his laptop to begin preparing their back stories. Eliot pulled the hair band from his wrist, keeping his eyes on Parker, and used his fingers to comb his hair into a low ponytail.

Parker had moved some distance away, just out of Eliot's reach if he lunged at her.

Pfffffttthhbbb.

"Damn it, Parker!"

~fin


Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it! Reviews are always very much appreciated.