I got this idea suddenly, mainly because I would love to do it myself, so I decided to give it a go. Of course it also explains my love of the elves in Dragon Age lol.
In case you were unaware, this is M-Hawke, not F-Hawke, so if you want F-Hawke, go to my other Dragon Age fic's' Home' and ' Just a little bit of Magic ' :D
Kyo~
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon age, Bioware does ^^
Garret Hawkeglanced again at the Elf walking alongside him as they traveled the deep Roads in search for riches. Carver was talking, in which when he said 'talking'; he meant sneering comments to Varric, as they walked along. It had only been a few weeks since Fenris joined their exploration. Other then Merrill a few weeks ago, he had never seen many elves, let alone in Lothering. One or two traveling as servants for some noble or another. Other then that he had never been close to elves before.
When he had been sent by the witch to Sundermount to the Dalish, he had been fascinated to meet the elvhen folk. More so the Dalish, so much different then Alienage elves. They showed hostility of course, so he couldn't much stare at them like he wanted, take in their difference, their uniqueness, their beauty. He was surprised when he learned the Keeper was sending her First off with them, which was how he eventually got Merrill into his group of misfit Companions.
Fenris had been then second elf he had met, though not of the Dalish, just as fascinating, and to add onto that with his Lyrium markings. It wasn't his markings that fascinated Hawke however. Besides what he got from the Dalish, and Merrill herself, was that touching wasn't much done with them, and Merrill was innocent, he couldn't just outright do it. So he was left with...
" Why do you keep staring at me?" Fenris hissed, obviously uncomfortable with it. Despite the months they had been traveling together before this trip into the deep roads, Fenris's dislike for Mages still pushed him away. Hawke was getting annoyed, though not only of Fenris's attitude toward him being a Mage, he understood Fenris past and gave him slack for it, but because of that past, Hawke could never do what he wanted. He just wanted to know what it felt like. Just once.
" No reason." Hawke said easily, looking ahead of them as he walked. If he could get Fenris to like him better, then he could relax the elf's guard and finally get to do what he wanted so long. However...
Elves were kind of strange, what if Hawke touched him and he freaked out? The only way to have Fenris not snap...would be to make him comfortable with his touch. Hawke shot a glance at the elf at his side and swallowed hard.
He could make the elf his lover. Fenris would let him touch plenty then. A hot blush raced up his neck and he closed his eyes at that.
" What's wrong with you brother?" Carver snapped stepping up to his side. Hawke slid his eyes to his brother then the elf at his other side, and Carver's eyes flickered to Fenris for a moment in confusion then he frowned hard, of course then understanding came and he stumbled while walking, a soft flush covering his face.
" Seriously?!" He hissed ribbing his brother hard.
" I know you have a thing for elves but a MALE elf? Why not the other elf, the Mage?" Carver begged softly. Hawke rose his brows.
" Merrill is Dalish, she's innocent, I'd feel like I was taking that innocence from her. I can't touch her." Hawke snapped back.
" Hawke's are you done? The Darkspawn running toward us aren't going to stop for you to have a family bonding moment." Varric commented as he pulled Bianca out to the group of Darkspawn raising toward them. Hawke sighed and grabbed his staff and twirled it around his fingers before getting into a easy position to defend and attack in.
Any words Carver wanted to say could not be said as after they were assaulted by Darkspawn time after time, betrayed by Varric's brother and locked in, caught with a rock wraith, because then the unthinkable happened to Carver, the taint.
Hawke had other things to think about at that point like escaping the blighted Deep roads.
XXxXxXX
Hawke had kept busy in the years after the Deep roads and Carvers death. Taking care of his mother, the estate he bought with the money from the expedition, looking for Bartrand,doing odd jobs for the Viscount, doing Noble crap he didn't want to, but since his mother was welcome back into society he had to follow along. Over all he had been busy, and after helping the Prince again, they gained another Companion.
Prince/Chantry brother, Sebastian Vael.
Hawke had been surprised he offered himself as a companion to him. A prince vying his time for them? He had been honored. To show his honor he traveled with the Prince as much as possible, though made sure he allowed the Prince time to be at the Chantry where he wanted to be.
They became fast friends, though Sebastian didn't like some of the things Hawke was forced to do, the interesting part was that Fenris and Sebastian seemed to get along rather well. Which was interesting because Fenris was the only way Hawke would get to snuff out his curiosity. Every day watching, becoming closer friends, Hawke's fingers twitched to touch the elf. He wanted more then anything to let go of that curiosity.
Of course he felt foolish for wanting to try to touch Fenris all the time, worse he felt like a total pervert for it as well. Of course it wasn't just Fenris he wanted to touch, he wanted to touch any elf. He just held back because he knew it would scare them. Merrill would take it the wrong way and he didn't want to hurt her, not someone as innocent as her.
He was conflicted about his desire, his curiosity about elves. Of course he felt his problems could then be solved when he over heard a conversation between Fenris and Sebastian about confessing. Hawke's heart quickened. Maybe...just maybe Sebastian would know if this was strange, wrong, for him to want. He was friends with Sebastian and even though he was friends with Fenris, he wouldn't tell him would he? Would Sebastian think less of him if he shared this secret with him?
He would risk it, so after their trek on the coast, he wondered back home changing into more relaxed clothes and then walked toward the Chantry for confession.
XxXXxXxXxXxXxXX
Sebastian watched surprised a Hawke walked in the chantry, spotted him, and hurried over to him. Fearing there was trouble he hurried to him as well. Hawke however didn't look as if he needed him to fight a high dragon again, or anything so serious. However something was obviously bothering Hawke.
" What's wrong Hawke?" Sebastian pondered laying a hand on his friends shoulder. Hawke sighed softly, though he looked rather anxious.
" When you were talking to Fenris about...confessing to you...did you just mean Fenris...or-" Sebastian's eyes widened.
" You want to confess to me?" Hawke looked startled at the wording but he nodded.
" Alright, would you like to take a walk and we can talk then." Sebastian said with a gentle smile. Hawke smiled hesitantly then walked after the prince feeling like his world was about to end. Only his family knew his fascination, he tried his best to hide it, to stop his fingers from reaching out to every elf he saw. For so long he held back, he was afraid if he didn't do something soon, he would lose it and jump the next elf he saw.
They walked in the darkness around Hightown, Hawke had cleared any threats from the area last night so any new threats to the quiet streets would at least take a few days, so they were safe walking them alone, Hawke in casual clothes and unarmed, though he himself was a weapon, he didn't need his staff for that.
" What seems to be bothering you my friend?" Sebastian asked concerned as they sat on the steps leading up to the other estates in Hightown, including Fenris's. Hawke fidgeted a moment before taking a shaky breath and letting it out.
" I have a secret desire." Sebastian choked softly. Perhaps that was a bit abrupt. He ran a hand through his messy hair.
" Sorry." He apologized.
" No...go on." Sebastian said with a slight frown.
" It's just I've had it since I was young, a curiosity I can't help, I want to do it so badly, to touch and feel. I can't help it, and whenever someone walks by I want to reach out and do it, snatch them and complete this desire, after so long of never being able to do it." Sebastian looked shocked, and flustered at Hawke's confession, he cleared his throat.
" Er...well, that's certainly...something. Just anyone?" He asked looking slightly curious, or maybe wondering if he had anything to worry about.
" Just elves." Sebastian's eyes widened.
" Oh? Why Elves?" He asked then his eyes glossed over and then brightened and he sucked in a breath.
" You mean Fenris?!" Hawke winced. He sent a subtle glare to the Prince and Sebastian flushed and closed his mouth sharply.
" I apologize." He commented.
" No, just elves. I can't necessarily do it to any old elf after all, Merrill is too innocent for that, I figured the only chance I will ever get is with Fenris, however I'm unsure of that at all. I want to know if this is wrong...if I should try to pray or something like you when you feel desire." Sebastian choked, startled at Hawke's words.
" What?" He squeaked. Hawke grinned slightly at him.
" So do you have wisdom for me?" Hawke asked. Sebastian rose his auburn brows.
" I'm not sure there is much I can do for you Hawke. This goes deeper then me. If it is only elves, why do you not just find..." Sebastian waved a hand and Hawke understood without words.
" A whore." He filled in. Sebastian flushed but nodded.
" I don't want to do it with a stranger, It'll be weird. It's better with someone I know, I trust not to get weird-ed out. I'm still working on it with Fenris." Hawke said with a deep sigh. Sebastian frowned, but it wasn't his business to get between potential lovers. It was between Fenris and Hawke now.
"I'm sure it will work out fine Hawke." Sebastian said hand landing on shoulder softly. Hawke smiled at his friend and felt a weight lift slightly.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Months later, after some busy, busy, weeks Hawke was still unsure how to approach Fenris about it. Fenris didn't seem to like being touched, by anyone, so his idea about Fenris being the one he asked to satisfy his curiosity may be going down the drain.
With the Arishok getting more viscous and frustrated, and Hawke being the interpreter between the Qunari and the Viscount, as well as some disturbances from Sister Petrice, Hawke had little time to talk to Fenris about what he wanted. More so with all the tension in the air, but after helping the elf learn how to read he felt that slowly Fenris might be relaxing more around him, he didn't want to push but after three years now, it was getting harder to keep his hands to himself.
However, after losing Isabela, who betrayed them all for a Relic, Hawke didn't blame her; he let her go more then anything, Hawke needed to do this, now. If he didn't...he would either do it accidentally, or go mad. So he approached Fenris that night, in the morning he would be going to the Arishok, Hawke had a feeling things would not end well, and just in case he wanted to finally get to do it.
So he went Fenris estate in Hightown and greeted his friend with a smile. Fenris smiled slightly in turn.
" What brings you here Hawke, did you need me for a last minute job?" He asked curiously. It wasn't often, or at all normally, Hawke ever came to him like this that wasn't for the purpose of gathering him for a job. Hawke hesitated.
" Not this time, I...I wanted to ask a favor." Fenris's eyes widened.
" Oh? What do you need, my friend." Hawke hesitated. He inched forward.
" I...I wanted..." Hawke fumbled with words. How on earth was he supposed to ask such a question? It felt awkward for a friend to ask something like this. He blushed and looked away from Fenris's jade eyes.
" Never mind, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you." Hawke said chickening out. It was worse to ask a friend. To touch someone like that, it was for lovers. Fenris wasn't his lover, and Hawke had no intention of changing their friendship just to amuse his desires. It wasn't very flattering to Fenris either, after all all Hawke needed was an elf. Hawke cursed himself.
" No, wait Hawke... don't go." Fenris said as he turned to leave feeling like an idiot. Hawke froze and turned surprised. Fenris looked uncertain.
" Tell me what you want me to do. Name it. I owe you a great deal." Hawke shook his head.
" It doesn't have to be you Fenris." Fenris puzzled.
" Is this because I'm an elf?" He asked startled. Hawke flinched, but nodded. Fenris looked a tad hurt, before he blanked the emotion.
" Well then since I'm an elf, I'm all you need, no reason to find someone else." He said firmly. Hawke frowned.
" I want to touch you Fenris." A startled look crossed the elf's face, followed by a darker blush then Hawke had ever seen before.
" Wh...what? Why?" Fenris asked voice even sounding startled. Hawke sighed.
" Fascination. I've known you for years, but I was never allowed to touch you, and I dare not touch Merrill or some stranger. I just want to touch your..." Fenris blushed harder and choked, Hawke paused at the reaction. Confused, then Hawke went crimson as well. Realizing what this sounded like, or had to sound like to the poor elf in question.
" Maker no! I didn't mean, not to say...I wasn't saying..." Hawke combusted in embarrassment.
" I want to touch your ears!" Hawke said quickly flushed, embarrassed, and slightly traumatized at the misunderstanding he should have realized would happened when he was so vague.
Fenris looked surprised. He rose his hand to his pointed ears puzzled.
" My...ears?" He asked with a slow blink. Hawke flushed, defeated he nodded.
" Your ears." Fenris blinked harder.
" Why my ears?" He asked clearly interested in knowing, however before anything else could be said Varric bust in startling them both.
" Qunari!" He shouted and both leapt into action immediately their conversation falling away, being forgotten in the spin of happenings. Things went down hill from there, from the Qunari attacking, to Isabela returning, to his duel with the Arishok to finally becoming the Champion of Kirkwall. Things got even more busy after that, three more years passing before Hawke was able to settle into the groove of things and he wasn't too busy to have his fingers desire to touch elven ears, to feel the difference, the length, the grace, the texture of their skin, the warmth. To gauge the reactions of the body to the touch.
He glanced at his companions, Varric, Sebastian and Fenris. His eyes lingered on Fenris and he glanced away before the elf noticed. He winced slightly. He had hoped his asking Fenris that night hadn't ruined their friendship, it had not. Fenris didn't mention it again, and Hawke didn't either. He had to find someone else, he would not risk his friendship with Fenris. Fenris was one elf he would never hurt. His friend, his companion for seven years now. To lose Fenris now would be a heavy blow, just like losing Isabela for that short while had broken something inside him.
He loved his companions, didn't want to see any of them gone. With no family except his uncle, these companions he collected throughout the years, was all he had left. If he lost even one, his world would shatter. He would die before he ruined any of his friendships with them, more so his friendship with Fenris.
Fenris was trying so hard to get a life he never had back. To be a free man. To be free, such a heartfelt desire. Fenris didn't befriend just anyone, and to befriend him...Hawke was honored, and wouldn't let his own curiosity ruin what was between them. He would find someone else, or he would ignore the desire his entire life if he had to.
Hawke was startled when an Antivian man asked him to find an assassin who was hiding with the Dalish, his heart jumped in panic, he almost refused. Going into a entire clan of elves was like torture lately. He couldn't touch, he wouldn't allow himself, and he craved to feel, to caress, to know what those blasted pointy ears felt like. Could he resist temptation amidst so many elves? Yet he would never turn down a job, so he nodded though he felt uncertainty.
He brought Fenris, he figured it wouldn't hurt after all, he would be surrounded, what was one more temptation? Besides he brought Fenris with him everywhere, and had for Seven years now. Sebastian was with them, as he usually was when Fenris was around. Fenris seemed to get along with Sebastian, so to make Fenris more relaxed, Hawke made sure to bring him along. Varric was always brought along as well, because Hawke liked the dwarf. He'd known him only a few weeks longer then Fenris and Anders, but Varric was his closest friend, and Hawke loved his humor.
Walking among the Dalish was the hardest thing he had ever done, walking among the Dalish and not tackling one and touching those pointy ears, it was driving him insane! His finger twitched and a pained sound left his throat. A hand came down on his shoulder and he jerked his eyes back to his companion. Sebastian was lending his support, obviously remember his confession those years ago and understanding.
He missed what the Dalish he spoke to said about the Assassin, to busy looking at those perfectly shaped ears to notice, he had to ask Varric when they left.
Hawke spent the rest of the time focused on the job of finding the assassin. Avoiding traps that Sebastian and Varric warned him away from before he stepped on them. After getting jumped by the Varterralagain, Hawke was startled to see another elf wonder out clapping his heads with a lazy grin.
" I did not expect the Champion of Kirkwall!" He commented, and they exchanged information about the Crows, and assassins, and Hawke learned that this Assassin was Zevran Araiani, the same Zevran who traveled with the Hero of Ferelden long ago.
Hawke allowed him to go, and confronted Nuncio, Zevran popped up to help right the Crows and when finished looting bodies and the camp Hawke returned to speak to the Antivian elf with a faint smile. He was growing to like the elf, he was amusing, and almost reminded him of Isabela, flirtatious as crap.
When Zevran asked if he'd like to get to know one another a little better somewhere private, Hawke flinched hard and looked to his ears.
" Will you let me touch your ears?" He blurted out, unable to help himself. For his part, Zevran didn't seem very surprised, only slightly amused.
" Anything you wish to do Champion." Zevran said with a lecherous grin. Hawke flushed in surprise.
A low growl surprised them both, they both glanced at Fenris.
" Unless you really wish to test your skills, I'd suggest you leave." Fenris hissed. Zevran hid a smile.
" Ah...I see, well then good bye Champion, until we meet again." Hawke held out a hand to stop the elf, but Zevran flickered away quickly. Hawke stood stunned. He turned to Fenris wanting to know why on earth he had sent the Antivian away when he was about to finally get what he wanted, but he was surprised when he turned around to be so close to the elf.
Fenris stood so close, Hawke's chest brushed his armor. Jade eyes stared into his gold and Hawke's breath just stopped. Those eyes, Maker, he swallowed hard, unable to catch his breath.
Fenris grabbed his hand, startling the hell out of him and brought Hawke's fingers to his ear. Hawke sucked in a gasp, more so with the action then finally getting what he wanted to all along. He jerked his hand away startled.
" Fen-" He began but Fenris glared.
" You do not need a assassin! You have me." Fenris snarled. He said Assassin as if he meant Whore, or an equal disrespectful title.
" But Fenris-" Fenris cut him off again, bringing his hand back to his ears. Hawke was taken off guard when his fingers brushed Fenris ears, silken, smooth, warm. His fingers traced the length, back and forth, and he saw a shutter race down Fenris spine as he did, as well as the elf's breath quickened just slightly. Hawke felt strangely fidgety as he touched Fenris ears, and he realized why. He pulled back slowly, surprised with himself, and the tightness of his pants.
A throat was cleared and Elf and Mage jumped, startled.
" If your done groping each other, can we please go back to the Hanged man, I'm in need of a pint, and a notebook." Varric muttered the last with a cheeky grin. Fenris flushed, Hawke blinked then a hot blush raced up his neck as well. He cleared his throat as well.
" Right." He, and Fenris, were surprised by how husky his voice sounded. They looked at one another, then Hawke glanced away, eyes looking somewhere else.
Who knew when he would finally be able to do what he wanted all along, touch an elves ears, he would also realize how arousing that happened to be?
His eyes flickered over to Fenris again, then his lips curved slowly when he found Fenris had been watching him as well.
Well, maybe he should have touched Fenris years ago. It seemed the elf liked being touched as much as Hawke liked to touch him.
End:
This ended much different then I wanted, I hadn't intended to make this a romance, not at all, just a humorous story, but my favor of HawkeXFenris, could not be denied! Shame on me! However this idea amused me, I had to write it, as my third finished fic for Dragon Age, I hope you like it! Review for me ne?
I intended to write more F-Hawke before I started writing M-Hawke, more so when it's yaoi I'm writing, but can you fault me? Garret Hawke is somehow much more funner to play then Marian Hawke! I'm not sure why, he's just more cocky, irresistible. :D So I wanted to write something slightly humorous just once. Hey this might just be the only T rated fic I write lol.
Well I hope you liked it!
Kyo~