How do I explain this to them? What exactly do I tell them? "Guys, this isn't what you think it is?" No it's exactly what they think it is. Oh how I wished they were young enough that they wouldn't know what it was that they just saw. We've had the conversation about the birds and the bees, what goes where and why. Phillip actually taught me a couple of things, not that I would admit that to him. Maybe that's why my marriage fell apart. I really should look into the curriculum of the health classes at their school. Maybe "Do as I say, not as I do." No that would never work, we've always taught them to lead by example. Don't expect others to do the right thing if you won't.
I wasn't expecting them home yet. School doesn't get out until 3:10. What are they doing home at 1:00. I don't know who is more embarrassed, us or them. Catching us having sex on the couch. How could I be that stupid? I'll have to blame hormones. It's been a long time. Between the traveling we have both done for work and the boys' activities, there just hasn't been time lately. One minute, we're having lunch and the next, well clothes were flying, lips were kissing and hands were exploring and then… We quickly covered up as the boys ran to their rooms, mumbling apologies and now here I stand, fully dressed trying to decide how to handle this.
I approached the stairs with trepidation hoping that I didn't scar them for life. As I get to their partially open door I can hear them talking.
"Jamie, I don't know what's worse, catching them or having to listen to the explanation that I'm sure is coming." Phillip groaned. "I can just hear it, 'Sons, when grownups are committed to one another they want to be as close as possible.' Spare me, I don't need to hear it. Sex isn't just about the closeness, it's how it makes you feel."
"They didn't seem all that close to me. He was standing behind her. I mean, I thought you're supposed to kiss. How can he kiss her when she's bent over the couch like that?" Jamie asked, confusion reflected in his voice.
Stifling a groan that threatened to expose my eavesdropping to them, I realized what it must have looked like to them. It was worse than I had hoped it would be.
I moved further to their door about to knock when I heard Phillip again.
"Wormbrain, don't you know anything. That's the difference between sex and making love. When you make love, it's all romantic and stuff. What we just saw was sex. It's not romantic, it's only about getting off, feeling good."
"It didn't seem like she was enjoying it. She looked and sounded like she was in pain. Didn't you hear those groans. I thought she was crying."
"No, she was enjoying herself. If she wasn't, do you think she would let him continue."
"So mom used to do that with dad? Gross."
"No, they were in love, Stupid. They would only do it in bed with the lights off and they would be face to face so they were able to kiss."
I decided then that maybe Phillip didn't know as much as I thought he did. This would be the perfect time to interrupt.
I knocked, letting my presence be known. "Hey, Guys can we talk."
"Dad, we know what you're going to say and we don't want to hear it. We're no longer kids, well at least I'm not. I know what goes on when men and women are in a relationship."
"Phillip, stop." I raised my hand halting any further conversation. "We can have a conversation about sex some other time but right now I want to apologize. I forgot that you had an early release today. I picked Carrie up from the airport and we came here. She was going to make us a home cooked meal tonight. I know we are all sick of pizza. We sat down to have lunch and one thing led to another. I'm not used to having you boys around all the time. I should have known better. I hope when you both are older you will understand but for now, I can only apologize."
"Dad, it's alright. Maybe we should have reminded you about the early release or knocked before we came in." Jamie stammered an apology. My youngest was always trying to make everything alright just like his mother.
"No Jamie, this is all on me and my responsibilities to you especially now while your mother is well, not here. This is your house and you should never have to knock. I'm the guest."
"Dad, have you heard anything from grandma yet today. She usually calls."
"No I haven't heard anything today but it's only 10:30 there. Grandma might just be getting up."
"Grandma is usually up early."
"Yeah, she usually is but she's been spending long hours at the hospital. She could be really tired." I hoped I sounded more confident than I really was. Dotty usually called by now. Maybe Amanda woke up finally and Dotty was filling her in on what has happened the last couple of days. Maybe she was waiting to call so Amanda could speak with the boys and tell them herself that she was going to be all right. I don't know what will happen if Amanda doesn't make it. No, I can't let myself think like that. I have to stay positive like Amanda would. She was always so positive about everything. Stop it Joe! Stop thinking of her in the past. I realized that the boys were looking at me. I'd been silent for far too long.
"You know guys, sometimes no news really is good news. Carrie is going to stay here and do a little laundry and start dinner soon so she'll be here to answer the phone when grandma calls. Why don't we head to the park and play a little ball? Your choice, baseball, basketball or I'll even play soccer if that's what you want."
"Dad, as much as we appreciate the offer, but until we hear about mom, I don't want to leave the house." Phillip says as he flops onto his bed finally stopping the endless pacing that seems to be his habit of late.
"I get it, how about you beat me in the new video game we picked up last night?"
"No, I really think I would rather just start my homework. Thank you for trying though dad." Jamie said getting up and heading to the desk in the corner.
"Okay, but if you change your minds, let me know. I'll head downstairs and help Carrie. Oh and guys, once your mom is back, we are going to have that conversation about sex. I know you know what is what but I do think you need to have a better understanding of why."
"Ugh, Dad, do we really have to, I mean…"
I was suddenly barreled over by my two sons racing for the phone by their mother's bedside. Phillip being faster seemed to have gotten to it first, I surmised as I heard Jamie yelling to give him the phone.
"Mom, is it really you? Are you really going to be okay?" I heard Phillip exclaim as Jamie races by me taking the stairs two at a time to get to the phone in the kitchen.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I finally knew that even though it might be a long road we still have ahead of us to get Amanda back to being 100% at least I knew that she would be okay, that my sons will have their mother back.
On no, Amanda! How do I explain this to her?