'Do you write your number in bathrooms often?'

The message was confusing to him at first, at least until he remembered writing it in one of the lesser used toilet cubicles once, he thought it might be amusing to see what sort of people would contact him. But this was the first, he'd written it in almost a month ago and he had totally forgotten about it, until now, previously empty evening seeming to maybe turn entertaining.

'Not really. Do you text numbers you find in bathrooms often?'

He felt almost tense as he waited for a reply, wondering if the other was going to be scared off straight away, he sure hoped not, this could be very interesting if they continued to message him.

'No. Normally they have some message about ringing them for services, but yours didn't, I was curious. And maybe a little bored.'

Mizuki almost laughed at that, he knew what he was talking about, ring me for sex, that kind of thing, normally written by friends of the numbers owner, or enemies with a grudge and a desire to piss them off. But he wasn't sure he'd ring one anyway, message or no message.

'You got a name?'

Nearly half an hour had passed, and Mizuki was certain now he'd scared him away, their school was hardly large, and it was obviously a boy texting him since he'd written it in the men's bathrooms. Or he hoped it was a guy anyway… When his phone buzzed he jumped, fishing it out of his pocket and wondering if he was going to find out the identity of his mystery texter.

'You can call me Kuro.'

'In that case, I'm Shiro, nice to meet you, Kuro.'

Kuro, or whoever he really was, since that was obviously not his real name, texted him every night that week, sometimes during the day too, although less often since they both had lessons to go to. Sometimes it was just a short message.

'Psychology was so boring today.'

'Somebody sneezed on me during lunch and didn't even apologise.'

'It's so warm today, it's great.'

And he would reply with an equally short response, sending little comments about their day until either of them headed to bed, usually Kuro first, sending him a good night message that Mizuki often wondered if he waited for his reply to.

But then some days the messages were long and frustrated and he could almost sense the anger and hurt behind them.

'I don't know why he thinks it so funny but it isn't! He was a total asshole to me and nobody even stood up for me. Some friends they are. Ugh, I'm sorry I'm ranting, I've just had a really stressful day, I ruined a painting I had due in next week and I just can't be bothered with anything.'

He always frowned when these came through, because whatever he was going through didn't sound very nice, and stranger or not, Mizuki had grown almost attached to Kuro in the time they had spent messaging each other. He didn't like to see him upset.

'Have you tried talking to them about it? Maybe they just didn't realise it upset you.'

'They don't care. I haven't eaten in three days and they haven't even noticed.'

'You haven't eaten in three days? Why not? Are you sick?'

'Hm, kinda, I guess.'

'Kinda? What does that mean? Like you have an eating disorder or something?'

Mizuki knew all too well that he was out of his depth now, he knew nothing about eating disorders, if that even was what was going on here, and he couldn't help but worry he'd gotten in too deep. He waited for a reply nervously, homework still lying forgotten as it had been the first time his phone buzzed and Kuro's name flashed up on the screen. He gnawed at his lip anxiously as the minutes ticked by, fingers picking at a hangnail on his fingers til it peeled off and bled, sucking on the digit absently as he tried to focus on his equations.

Then it buzzed, and he jumped so violently he whacked his knee off the bottom of his desk, cursing absently but the hand not rubbing the injured limb still reaching for his phone.

'Mm, probably not. I just don't want to eat. But nobody knows about it yet.'

'Not even your parents?'

'No, they don't know. Or my brother, I just… Keep it hidden well I suppose.'

'You need to eat Kuro, you'll pass out or something. Why don't you go grab something now?'

'Can we not talk about it anymore?'

Mizuki sighed, sure they might not talk about it, but now he was worried for this mystery boy. Every day he observed people more carefully, ignoring his own friends and surveying the dining hall. Who was picking at their food, or was mysteriously absent, who looked too skinny or could possibly be Kuro. But he never found anyone too likely, and even if he did, he wouldn't want to ruin their strange non-physical friendship by revealing himself when Kuro might not want his identity to be known.

A couple more weeks passed, Kuro sending him more and more in depth messages about his life, explaining how he wished he was an only child sometimes because his brother got all the attention. Saying he was jealous because almost all his friends were in relationships except him. He sounded lonely, and sometimes it sounded like he hated himself a little, though he tried to hide it and they never discussed his possible eating disorder again.

'But I get it, if I were somebody else I wouldn't date me.'

'Why not?'

'I'm weak, I'm ill all the time and I'm shy so I almost never talk to people. Even my brother called me pathetic the other day. I'm fat and I've never even kissed anyone.'

Mizuki was about to reply, though he wasn't sure what with, forehead crinkled in sympathy and frustration that he couldn't help, when another text buzzed through.

'I don't even know why I'm telling you this, I don't even know who you are. I have nobody else to talk to I guess, pathetic, huh?'

'You're not pathetic, you're just lonely and need to have friends who understand you better. Besides, shy is cute, and I'm sure you aren't really fat.'

'Shy isn't cute when new people make you want to throw up.'

Mizuki didn't reply to that, he didn't know what to say, and Kuro fell silent for a couple of days, popping up suddenly in the middle of lunch, his phone dinging in the library and earning a glare from the librarian as he silenced it sheepishly and opened the message.

'I think I'm in love with my best friend.'

Mizuki blinked, rereading the message because that was not what he'd been expecting, it was somehow heavier than everything else the mystery person, boy, whatever, had been sending him so far. Love was a big word, and to be in love with his best friend, gender unknown, it made Mizuki wince in sympathy, because he'd been there, was there right now, and he knew how much it could suck.

'Okay… Is that bad?'

'It's terrible! I feel like I can't even see him without doing something stupid to make him think I'm weirder than he already must think! Plus he's perfect, he could get anyone he wanted why would he even look at me?'

'He just makes my heart beat like crazy and my hands get all shaky and it's so horrible because I know he won't feel the same.'

'He's way too good for me and I don't even deserve to have him as a friend!'

Ah, it was a boy then, this might complicate things slightly, but Mizuki had always been rather 'do or die' about things like this, so his standby advice would be just to tell the other party, and let them deal with it. His own hypocrisy didn't even occur to him as he sighed and began to type, fingers passing over the screen quickly, trying to get into words what he felt would be best for Kuro.

'Kuro, I've told you before, you're a nice person, you just need more confidence. Why don't you just tell him? If he's your best friend, even if he doesn't feel the same way (which he could), he won't let it change anything.'

'I can't do that! I'll scare him away and he's the only real friend I have, everyone else is just my friend because of my brother. I can't lose him, then I'd have nobody!'

Mizuki could hear the desperation and fear in his writing, knew he was panicking somewhere and wished more than anything he could comfort him with something more than letters, but he couldn't. He hesitated for only a second, fingers re-reading the message and just thinking how wrong he was to think he was alone, because he may only have a couple of genuine friends, but people didn't tend to put up with people they really didn't like, even if they were friends with his brother.

'You'd have me.'

Presumptuous, maybe, but he considered them friends, so Kuro probably did too, if he did end up telling his friend and he freaked out and backed away, he was obviously a shitty friend to begin with, and he would be more than willing to deal with the fallout.

'I don't even know who you are!'

His breath caught in his throat, because this was the perfect opportunity, do or die, and he knew for sure he wouldn't die.

'We could change that. Meet somewhere, if you want? Talk in person.'

'Where?'

'Tomorrow, after school, by the bike sheds?'

He didn't reply, and Mizuki just had to resign himself to hanging out there until it was obvious he wasn't going to come, or until he did show up and he finally got to meet him.

Mizuki spent the whole day in a sort of bizarre haze, tapping his pencil on the desk so much his teacher got exasperated and threw a board rubber at him he couldn't quite duck, blow to the head still not bringing him back to reality. He picked at his dinner, barely eating anything and letting Noiz wolf the rest, ignoring the questioning glances everyone was shooting at him.

When the final bell went, he felt his heart rise into his throat, bidding Koujaku a hasty goodbye and reassuring him that no, really, he was fine, before heading to the bike sheds, feeling almost sick.

There was nobody there, and he wasn't sure if he was relieved or not. Maybe being there first would be a blessing, but then maybe it would be a curse, perhaps Kuro would approach, see him and decide to flee instead. But then, he couldn't honestly say he wouldn't do the same, he felt his legs shaking as footsteps sounded behind him, trying to feign nonchalance by leaning against the wall. He didn't turn, surprised when the person walking towards him turned out to be Sei, nervousness fading slightly as his friend approached, smiling small and shy as always, looking almost confused.

"Hey Sei," He commented, raising a hand lazily, giving his friend a grin and noticing the way he picked at his nails anxiously, in fact, now he thought about it, he'd been doing it nearly all day.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" He asked, curiosity lacing his tone, because to his knowledge Mizuki had gone home already.

"Oh, I'm just waiting for someone," he answered, shrugging like it was nothing out of the ordinary, and for all Sei knew, it wasn't. Maybe Koujaku was finishing classes late and they'd arranged to meet here to walk home together.

"Koujaku?" He asked, frowning slightly as Mizuki just shook his head, too fast for it to look anything but nervous, leaning awkwardly on the wall. "Who then?"

"Um, Kuro."

Sei blinked, he didn't think there was a Kuroo in their school, but he could be wrong, Mizuki was a lot more sociable than him, maybe he had made a new friend he hadn't mentioned. Then something clicked in his brain and, "how are you spelling that?"

Mizuki gave him a questioning look, eyebrows lowered and mouth frowning, "K-U-R-O."

Sei's eyes widened and he took a step back, hand reaching to grip at his jumper over his heart, twisting into the fabric, he looked like he was about to bolt. "Y-You're Shiro?"

There was a pause as Mizuki tried to think of any way Sei could know that name without him actually- "Holy fuck, you're Kuro?"

Sei's nostrils flared and his shoulders were shaking, trembling like a leaf in the wind as Mizuki pushed of the wall because no, it had been Sei the whole time? Sei who thought he had no friends, was worthless, useless, who was in love with-

Oh fuck.

"Disappointed I'm not someone else?" He asked, and his voice was quivering as much as his hands, tone small and self-depreciating in a way Mizuki had only ever heard through his messages.

"No, never. But, Sei you..." he shook his head, changing his tactic. "I'm your best friend, right?"

He could see the wheels turning in his friend's brain, knowing what he was asking, watched as he swallowed hard, Adams apple bobbing as he just nodded, expression scared and almost like a wounded animal.

"O-Oh God… I… I have to go… I…" Sei was backing away, shaking his head and mouth open as he tried to breathe, gulps of air doing nothing to calm the terror that crawled up his spine to settle heavy on the clouds that obscured his rational thought.

"Sei, wait!" Mizuki grabbed his wrist before he could flee, capturing the skinny limb in his hand easily, and grip firm on his sleeve. "You can't just run away! Remember what I said, if he throws you away he was a shitty friend to begin with!"

Sei's fighting had stopped, but he still refused to look at him, skin quivering under Mizuki's touch, "am I a shitty friend?"

"No," he whispered, eyes somewhere on Mizuki's chest, not meeting the olive eyes that stared at him so intensely, feeling like he was burning under their gaze.

"So let me speak." He urged softly, releasing Sei's arm only once he received a curt nod, running a hand through his hair nervously, because of all the things, all the people he'd expected, this, Sei wasn't one of them. "I didn't… I didn't know you felt like that, about yourself or… about me. Why did you never tell anyone, why did you never tell me? I… I thought you liked yourself, I didn't know you thought all those things about yourself. I… How didn't I notice you weren't eating?"

"You weren't supposed to find out! You weren't supposed to know any of that! You were meant to think I'm okay! That I-" His breath hitched to a pause and his uncharacteristic yelling stopped abruptly, eyes glistening with unshed tears and hands in balls at his side. "Nobody was meant to know. You're all better than me. You're more popular than me and you can deal with things better than me and you weren't meant to know. I meant to keep it hidden so I wouldn't fuck things up!"

"Sei, you haven't fucked anything up."

"Yes I have! Because now you know and you hate me!"

"Have I said I hate you? Have I said anything bad about you, ever? No! Don't put words in my mouth then not let me speak." His tone was almost hard and he felt guilty as Sei shrank into himself, taking a deep breath and calming his tone down. "I'm not better than you, Sei."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not. You are kind, and considerate, and nice to everyone. You make people happy, Sei. You stop arguments and get everyone to make up. You are my best friend, and you are not worse than any of us." Sei's lip was trembling and Mizuki sighed again, though softer this time, it was upsetting, to realise Sei thought all those horrible things about himself, had kept them hidden for so long, deep inside where they rotted him. "I know now, and it's too late to take it back, don't you want to hear what I have to say?"

"Yeah, I guess," his voice was sad already, pre-empting Mizuki's words.

Mizuki laughed softly under his breath, fiddling with the drawstring of Sei's hoodie absently, fingers focused on the action, trying to hide the heat he could feel building in his cheeks. He took a deep breath before he spoke, avoiding Sei's gaze, burning under his large eyes and speaking slowly, voice wobbly. "I have had, the biggest crush on you, for so long." He felt Sei's eyes flicker up and knew he was blushing beetroot red, "I'm surprised you haven't noticed. It's like… Next level lame how useless I am around you."

Sei blinked, his ears didn't seem to be working because it sounded like Mizuki had just said he had a crush on him, which obviously wasn't possible because he was well, him, and Mizuki was… Well, perfect.

"You what?"

"You really want me to say it again?" Mizuki almost whined, and his tanned cheeks were flushed a dusky pink, biting back his self-consciousness to speak bluntly and almost emotionlessly, trying to hide his urge to be swallowed up by the floor. "I have had a big, gay, embarrassing crush on you. For like… Months now. And now I'm super embarrassed…"

"I don't…" Sei began, pausing to frown, eyes downcast and forehead furrowed under his fringe. "Why?"

Mizuki almost scoffed, rolling his eyes exasperatedly because Sei was just making this far more painful than was necessary, he'd never had to explain the reasons he liked somebody before, he normally just confessed and they either accepted or declined. But he supposed if Sei's self-esteem was as low as it seemed, he just wouldn't be able to understand what Mizuki saw in him, and Mizuki saw a hell of a lot.

"Because you're just… Cute. Like really cute, you know?" There were a million reasons that Mizuki liked Sei, but they all suddenly seemed to have flown out of his head, leaving him to stammer uselessly. All he could do was take in how adorable he looked with his cheeks flushed pink and white teeth biting at his lip, cheeks beginning to dimple in the way that made his stomach do funny things. "And um… You're funny, and kind, like I said. I just… I dunno, you're just great and um, well I can't think of anything else right now, but there's lots more reasons."

Sei hadn't said anything yet, but Mizuki could see the upwards twitch of his lips, peering down at him nervously, wondering if he'd said something out of line, or maybe the whole thing had been some kind of joke and the others would jump out of the bushes pissing themselves with laughter.

"Um, yeah. So, are you happy now or are you still pissed that I was Shiro?"

Sei closed his eyes for a second, taking a slow breath in, then Mizuki jumped with an irritatingly high pitched yelp as his head thunked forwards onto his chest. He could feel his laughter through his shirt but could do nothing but stare in more than mild alarm as Sei composed himself and leaned away again.

"Sorry, we just… We're both useless, aren't we? I just assumed you were texting another boy or something when you were always on your phone, I never even guessed you might have been Shiro." He paused for a second, considering his words carefully before clearing his throat uncomfortably, staring at the wall to his left as he spoke. "And I um… Kinda thought you had a crush on Aoba."

Mizuki blinked, "you what? He's dating Ren…"

"Doesn't mean you couldn't like him," he shrugged, and Mizuki wondered how horrible it must have been, to think the person you liked actually had a crush on your brother instead, your twin no less. "Well, whenever you were around him you dropped stuff and got all red, I just assumed it was him you liked, and he's too oblivious to notice stuff like that. I never thought it was me that was making you like that."

"Well it was, so… Now what?" He was still red, shamefully so, knowing he looked like a besotted schoolgirl right now, which was almost completely accurate if he was being honest, shuffling from foot to foot and regarding Sei cautiously.

Sei sighed through his nose, long and loud, he looked as nervous as Mizuki felt, sure, they'd established their mutual feelings, but the move from friends to something more wouldn't exactly be smooth, or easy. He shrugged one shoulder a second later, smiling unconvincingly, "We can just go back to the way things were, it's up to you, I guess."

"Is that what you want? To just pretend this didn't happen?"

"I dunno," he was biting his lip again, plump pink skin squashed no doubt painfully between his white teeth, he wanted to reach up and free it, but knew if he dared go near those lips he'd want to kiss them.

"Because it's not what I want," Sei looked up at that, small wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows as he regarded his friend, waiting for him to continue. "I mean… I've liked you for a really long time now, I just think we should at least give it a shot. Being together, or whatever." His words were wobbly, because this was hardly a normal situation, usually friends would realise they liked each other slowly, maybe go on a couple dates and things would progress like that. But they'd been thrown into this and it all felt so sudden it felt almost wrong to be suggesting that they try dating like this instead of just naturally sliding into it. "If that's what you want too."

God his heart was hurting enough as it was without Sei suggesting they just ignore the possibility that they might be something amazing together, that he didn't even want to give them a chance just in case it ruined things. He really, really fucking liked Sei, loved him probably, though he felt it was too early to admit that, and now he had a chance to make something of it, to be with him the way he wanted, it was all he could think about.

"Mm," he nodded, small but obvious enough that Mizuki's worried expression softened slightly, reaching out to poke his nose and make it scrunch up, faint freckles speckled across it hidden by his finger.

"So stop worrying, I don't hate you." He paused, because God, how could he sum up everything he'd wanted to say to Kuro all this time? To express how much he deserved and how wrong he was about everything, knowing it was Sei who thought like that killed him, and he just wanted to drill it into his head how damn wrong he was. "And… You have friends, Sei. Not just because of Aoba, they're friends with you because they really like you. Okay? So please don't be sad about it anymore."

Sei was almost pouting, trying to pretend he wasn't smiling and just looking like a child being forced to apologise, "kay."

"So… Can I like hug you now or something?" Mizuki asked, almost wishing they wouldn't have to go through the whole awkward 'oh God this is my best friend' thing, he never had before, but he'd seen it happen with most of his friends, Aoba and Ren, Noiz and Koujaku, Clear and Mink, and it just always looked so painful and uncomfortable at first.

"You did that anyway," Sei objected, raising an eyebrow. He had a point though, of all his friends, Noiz and Mizuki were the most physical, and Mizuki had pretended to be his boyfriend more than once when people were being creepy or annoying him. He also had the habit of falling asleep pretty much on him at sleepovers and not realising til the next morning when he woke up cushioned on Mizuki's stomach, feeling embarrassed but quickly pretending to still be asleep, if only to feel the heat a little longer.

"Shut up and let me hug you," Mizuki remarked with fake irritation, not sure he could stand his face getting any pinker, he felt far too warm, fingertips shaking and palms clammy even as Sei rolled his eyes and stepped closer, fingers knotting into the shirt at his sides.

Sei had always fitted against his body perfectly, head tucked neatly into his neck and at the ideal height so that Mizuki could smell his apple hair, not creepily of course… He just happened to notice sometimes. Though, he supposed, he was allowed to smell it now, technically, nosing into the strands, one hand at the small of his back and the other higher up by his pointed shoulder blades, realising he could feel his ribs and frowning.

He didn't really want to spoil the moment, but Sei's health came first, murmuring quietly, "have you eaten today?"

He felt Sei tense beneath him, heard him swallow thickly and felt his hair ruffle as he shook his head yet, "not yet, I, um… Might have something later."

"Nope, I'm taking you out," he shook his head, pulling away so he could see Sei's face, watch the confusion turn to embarrassment as his face dusted pink for what must be the millionth time that day and gosh he still looked so sweet when he blushed.

"Aoba's expecting me home soon," Mizuki had expected excuses, if Sei was 'sick' as he'd said, he didn't imagine it would be that easy to convince him to eat, but he was more than willing to try.

"Tell him you're with me," Mizuki shrugged, "I'm sure he won't mind."

"I don't know…" It was obvious he was torn, nibbling at his lip again, eyes widening as Mizuki raised the courage to thumb his teeth away, expression saying he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Just some ramen or something, you'll be fine." He didn't wait for an answer, wrapping an arm round Sei's neck and steering him out of the school yard into the street beyond. "So, why Kuro?"

"I have black hair?" He explained weakly, obviously knowing how incredibly unoriginal an idea that was and looking at least a little sheepish even as he relaxed under Mizuki's arm, taking a deep breath and trying to remind himself that everything would be okay now, Mizuki knew but he was okay with it, and that was all that mattered.

"Wow, clever." Mizuki joked, squeezing Sei's shoulder teasingly and earning a jab in the ribs that punched the air out of his lungs.

"Oh shut up, Shiro."