Author's Notes:
Things in italic indicate thoughts.
About 4 years after Not Fade Away. Oh and bear with me cause I just don't accept either Angel or Spike dying in the fight.
I want to thank to my wonderful beta heyouthere and send her the world's biggest hug!:))
Going Away
He didn't know what he was doing here. He just got a letter from Buffy asking him to meet her at this place. He hasn't been here for about 5 years now, thought he still remembered 'the analogy'. It was so twisted and simple, purely her.
He hadn't really talked with her in the last couple of years. After the battle, defeating Wolfram and Hart and taking out the Senior Partners they met once in England, at the new headquarter of the Council. But then on, they only spoke about work, alerting the others about a moving demon clan or a newly found prophecy.
'But I came. It only took a letter from her and I am here. Could I be even more pathetic? Surely I am the most pitiful creature in Earth. Nobody else would…
'What are you doing here Peaches?' came an unpleasant but too familiar voice.
Angel turned, watching Spike coming closer with a letter like his in hand.
'OK. I take it back. I'm one of the most pathetic creatures.'
Angel just raised his hand with the letter in it to show Spike his reason.
'Any idea why?' Spike asked.
'No. I haven't even talked to her for some month now. If I called I spoke with Willow, Faith, Dawn or even Xander but never with her. You guessing something?'
'No. We haven't met for about three or four month now. I was in Japan handling a nasty Gb'kohv clan while rescuing some slayers. I received the letter so I came back.' Spike answered. 'Seems like we have to wait for her to find out.'
'Don't worry, you won't have to wait for long. I'm here.' Buffy emerged from nearby.
She still looked young but not a child any more. She was a grown woman and confidence radiated from her. It worked well for her to share her fate with many others. She looked more rested but not a day older than four years ago.
'Buffy.' Angel came forward hugging her. 'It's good to see you.'
'You too.' she answered. 'And you too.' Buffy continued as Spike hugged her.
'Why did you call us here, Pet? Do you need something?' Spike started as soon as he let her go.
Buffy grew a tad less cheery as she answered. 'Yeah. I want to ask a big favour from you too. I know that it is not very nice of me to ask it but… I'm selfish. I need you to first hear me out and let me explain my decision. Please?'
'Pet, you are making me worry. What's wrong?'
Buffy stepped a little away from both of them nearer to the crater. Angel and Spike glanced at each other. They didn't know what's going on but they were really starting to become anxious.
'About six month ago during a fight I lost my balance and dropped to my knees. About ten or fifteen seconds later I also lost consciousness. If I haven't been patrolling with Faith, I would have died there and then. She finished off the vamps and took me to the nearest hospital. At first the doctors didn't know what the problem was. When I woke up I insisted in leaving. Hospitals still freak me out. But some of my results were out of order so they didn't let me go. Faith stayed with me and called the others while the docs continued the examinations.'
'I was in hospital for four days when at last they found out what happened.' Buffy turned to look at the two, now very worried, vampires while having tears in her eyes. 'I have a brain tumour.' Before she continued she turned once more to face the nothing at her feet.
'It presses a nerve. I won't have mental problems like Mom did, I'll just go weaker and weaker, loosing my strength, fainting unexpectedly and at last loose ability of walking and moving.' Buffy finished describing her future and turned again to face her two true loves. 'I have about one month before the syndromes turns really serious and probably one more before the big finish.'
The two warriors stood speechless not wanting to believe what Buffy just said. Neither knew what to say and they didn't get the chance before Buffy continued to speak again.
'I may be selfish but I don't want to die like that. I can't do anything else but give in my illness. There is no cure and slayer healing and supernatural abilities don't help. And the lifestyle I live as a slayer makes it happen even faster. I'm the slayer so I refuse to just stop fighting during a battle. I started to think about a way to die but still keep some of my pride at least. And I found one.'
As she finished she looked at Spike and from his confused expression she could tell he didn't get it. But only one glance at Angel told her that her first love knew exactly what she was talking about.
'And what is it? How…' Spike asked but Angel didn't let him finish.
'How could you ask this from us? What were you thinking? What do you think your friends would say? And your sister?' Angel's voice carried a great deal of pain but at the same time rage as well.
'I ask because this is my only choice. I was thinking about myself and my possible end and I really didn't like it. As about my friends I talked to them as to my sister and they accept my decision and realise that this way is far more merciful than the natural way.'
'I still don't understand what do you want from us?' Spike asked uncertainly.
'She wants us to kill her.' 'What?'
'I said I want to ask a favour. This is it. I ask you, beg you please spare me from that type of agony. Fading away slowly. Give me a more fitting, merciful and faster death by the hand of my once greatest enemies and only loves. Help me keep my pride and go out as I should and wish. Don't let my friends and sister see me like that. Please I'm begging you. Help me.'
As she finished she sank to her knees while the vampires stood speechless and frozen.
After a minute or two Spike glanced at Angel. It was enough. They both knew they would do this for her if it was what Buffy really wanted. Even if it would break their hearts or grief would destroy them. They would hep.
They walked to Buffy, cradled her in their arms and hugged her to themselves.
'Is this really what you want, Pet? Are you sure? Did you think this over?'
'It is. Yes. And I did. I spent the last months thinking this over and over and I'm sure. This is what I want.'
'When?' Spike couldn't say more.
'Here. Tonight.' Buffy answered and finally stopped crying.
'Don't you want to say good bye to your friends and Dawn?' Angel asked.
'Sure I do. But they are here in the car not far away. We should go to them.' Not waiting for an answer Buffy stood up walked to the direction from which she arrived. Spike and Angel looked at each other, stood up, and followed her.
After five minutes of walking they arrived to a car with people around it. Giles, Willow, Xander, Faith and Dawn were waiting for them. No one else were there. No girl or boyfriends, no new slayers, no Andrew. This was just for them. Nobody else was needed to be there and nobody else should have.
Spike and Angel stepped a little away. These moments weren't for them, so they just watched.
Buffy stopped for a minute and nodded. Everybody understood. Her wish will be granted. Buffy looked around. Watched everybody's faces as they understood what this meant.
She than turned and went to Faith. 'You become like a sister to me. I'm happy I had the chance to know you. Please take care of the slayers. You will be a wonderful leader. And a great mom.' They smiled at each other and hugged. No tears were shield jet. But the round of goodbyes just started.
Then came Xander. 'You are my anchor. You always pull me back if I go too far. You are our heart because you have one big enough to share. I'm grateful for whoever I have to be for letting me know you. I love you.' 'O God Buffy. It was an honour fighting by your side. I'll miss you so much. I love you.' Now the tears started.
Willow. Buffy walked to her. Both girls were crying openly. No words were needed. They just stared into each others' eyes and hugged. They knew. What the other wanted to say, what they felt. They knew words would only destroy their harmony so they kept quiet.
By this time no eyes were dry, not even the two vampires' watching everything from the shadows.
Buffy stepped away and turned to Giles. 'For twelve years you were my father. Without you I would be long dead. You provided me with knowledge to survive and love which was worth fighting for. Thank you. For everything.' 'I can't probably say more than that I'm proud of you and I was honoured to be your watcher. If I ever had a daughter, I would wish her to be exactly like you. A part of me will die with you tonight but I know you will find peace wherever you will be.'
Now come the hardest part. Dawn. As soon as Buffy turned to her direction she fell to the ground and cried uncontrollably.
Buffy kneeled next to Dawn, stroking her hair. 'Remember in the hospital with Glory? It's blood. It's Summers blood. It's just like mine. You are my sister. And as long as you remember I'll be with you. I'll go wherever I have to but my eyes will always be on you. I'll watch over you whether you want it or not. I won't leave you alone even in death. I love you too much to do so. I can't tell you anything better than I said last time. Be brave. Live. And be happy. For me.' She stopped and just hugged her for a long time. 'I love you so much Buffy. So much.' 'God, Dawnie me too. More than anything. Take care of yourself. And be strong. Wherever I go I'll miss you so much.' Reluctantly and very slowly they let go of each other.
With one last glance to everybody Buffy went to the edge of the crater which once was her home. So many memories, so many losses and yet so many happy moments.
She turned and went to stand between Angle and Spike.
'I love you. Both of you. Thank you. For letting me go like I wanted. For loving me. Take care of yourselves and be happy.' While she said this she bared her throat.
Without a world the two warriors moved with perfect synchrony. Placing a light kiss to the two sides of her throat before, as gently as possible, they bit down.
It started to rain. Heaven itself cried its heart out as the slayer faded from the world.
Thanx for reading, hope you enjoyed it! If you did please review and tell me, if not please review and tell me! (Anybody seeing a pattern here? ;-)