Why, Rodney?

Part 1

"CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" Doofenshmirtz shouted as the platypus jumped off the veranda and flew out on his hang glider. "Well, this scheme failed miserably, as always. I'm going to get a soda from the fridge before I think of tomorrow's scheme…that I'll probably fail at. Wait, why am I talking to myself? Oh well!" He was about to go to the kitchen to get some soda when there was a knock at the door.

"That's weird, I wonder who's knocking on my door. And why am I still talking to myself?" He answered it. There stood Rodney, Dr. Diminutive and the rest of L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N.

"Greetings Heinz." Rodney greeted. The gang of evil scientists marched in. Doofenshmirtz was confused.

"Rodney?" He questioned. "Dr. Diminutive? Dr. Bloodpudding?" He closed the door when they were all in. "I don't understand. Why are you all here?" They all looked at him like he was crazy.

"Don't you remember, Heinz?" Rodney asked him. Doofenshmirtz blinked in confusion.

"Remember? Remember what?" Rodney sighed.

"Our L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N meeting, boy, I can't believe I just said 'L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N'. We should probably change the name. Anyways, at our last one, we decided to have the next one at your place, remember?" Doofenshmirtz did a face palm.

"Oh, that was today? I completely forgot! I'm completely unprepared." Dr. Diminutive looked around the destroyed apartment.

"No kidding!" He observed. "This place looks like a hurricane was just here."

"Foiled by your nemesis again, Heinz?" Rodney asked.

"Well…you see…" He held his head in shame. "Yes." Rodney shook his head in disappointment.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk Heinz, when will you ever learn?" Doofenshmirtz looked at them all.

"What? Learn what?"

"You just don't get it, do you?"

"Get? Get what? What am I suppose to get?"

"Heinz, what you are doing is unacceptable."

"What's unacceptable?"

"Boy," Bloodpudding said, rolling his eyes. "He really doesn't get it! This is just sad."

"Being defeated by your nemesis all the time."

"Well I get defeated by him because he outsmarts me."

"And why is that?"

"Well because he's a suave, semi-aquatic…"

"Drop it Heinz! You fail because you're a loser." This made Doofenshmirtz angry.

"Hey!"

"Time to face facts Heinz, all of your inventions are complete busts, your Magnetism Magnifier, your Slave-inator, Drill -inator, Media-Erase-inator."

"Ooh; ooh!" Dr. Diminutive cried. "Let's not forget the Combine-inator, De-Handsome-inator, and the Cool-inator. "

"And that you were going to transport Big Ben from London to Dansville because you didn't want to go to the store and buy a larger watch." Dr. Bloodpudding put in. "You said it would be too much of a 'hassle'.

"Okay, okay!" Doofenshmirtz admitted. "I know about all of my failures. Don't rub it in."

"We have to Heinz," Rodney told him. "We're evil. Your plans fail and we know why."

"Why? Because I'm 'the world's dumbest villain?'"

"Boy." Spoke Dr. Diminutive. "You got that right. Make it the galaxy's dumbest villain', no no, the universe's!" Doofenshmirtz looked at him.

"You really like to rub it in, don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"You fail because of that." Rodney continued. "And your nemesis."

"Well yeah," Doof agreed. "That's because. He's a suave semi- aquatic…"

"Enough Heinz! You need to take it one step at a time. Get rid of your nemesis first and then world domination."

"I don't want world domination. I just want tri-state area…domination."

"Whatever. The point is if you want to succeed, get rid of the problem."

"Only then is when you will be able reach to your evil goal." Bloodpudding added. "Without your nemesis getting in your way."

"I tried!" Doof complained. "I tried making him my evil slave and making him my butler. But no matter what, he somehow ruins them every time. I even turned myself into a platypus so that we'll be evenly matched." He sighed. "Maybe I should give up." The other scientists gasped.

"Don't do that!" Dr. Diminutive said. "That'll only make you weaker. You must never give up; no matter what the odds may be!" Dr. D sighed again.

"You're right, but what can I do? How can I get rid of a skillful anthropomorphic platypus agent?"

"You'll figure something out Heinz…hopefully." Rodney told him. He and his fellow scientists headed for the door. Norm had a plateful of brownies and a pile of napkins stacked neatly in his hands. He was in his maid outfit.

"Before you leave," He started. "Do any of you fellas want a brownie? I made them myself." Rodney grabbed one and took a bite.

"At least you made one useful invention." He took a napkin and left. Then, one by one, the other scientists all lined up and each took a brownie and a napkin as they left. Dr. Diminutive was the last to leave.

"Your robot make good brownies, Heinz," The short scientist told him. "If you make another success like him, you are guaranteed to defeat your foe." He then closed the door behind him.

"I really liked them!" Norm concluded. "I hope they drop by again!" Doof just looked at him and took a napkin and the last brownie on the plate.

"Whatever!" He said. He sat on his couch. "Now leave me alone as I think of a plan to get rid of Perry the Platypus."

"You mean, think of a plan that will ultimately fail?" Doof just looked at him.

"Just leave."

"Yes sir!" And with that, Norm went back into the kitchen as his boss sat on the couch, thinking up a plan.

"I can't believe it!" Doof cried the next morning. He has just woken up. He had slept on the couch the entire night. "Perry the Platypus will be here in a few hours and I still don't have an evil scheme yet. How can he foil it when I don't have one to foil?" Norm was beside him.

"Maybe some breakfast will make you feel better." The robot told him. The doctor stood up.

"You're right. Maybe after I get some food in me, I can think more clearly. Norm, make me some Evil-O's and pour me some OJ." Norm saluted.

"Will do, sir!" He went into the kitchen. Doof was about to follow when a knock was at the door.

"Is that Perry the Platypus?" He went to the door and answered it. "Sorry Perry the Platypus. I don't have a scheme yet, can you come back la-?" He then saw that it was Rodney. He was alone this time.

"Rodney?" He asked. "What do you want?" Rodney came in and showed him a printout from the Internet. It was about platypuses.

"I printed this off last night." He said. "Read what I have highlighted. I think you will be slightly surprised." Heinz scanned though the pages and saw something highlighted in yellow. He read it.

"Platypuses are illegal to own as a pet." He read out loud. He looked at Rodney. "So, what are you getting at?"

"Don't be dense, Heinz. Don't you see? It's against the law to own a platypus. That's what illegal means, against the law." Doof glared at his rival.

"I know what 'illegal' means; I'm not an idiot." He looked confused again. "But, I'm still confused about all this."

"Well from what I read, platypuses are unlawful mainly because of the venom in the male platypus' spurs."

"I had to go to the hospital due to Perry the Platypus' venom before."

"You see? Platypuses are dangerous!"

"So, what do you think we should do?"

"I think we should show your brother this printout. Convince him to ban all platypus ownership. That includes the O.W.C.A and Perry the Platypus will be forced to leave. With him out of the way, you'll be one step closer to world domination!"

"Uh, I just want to take over the Tri-State area, not the whole world, maybe later." Rodney sighed.

"Fine; whatever!"

"So, how are we going to convince him? Are we going to hypnotize him or what? Because I already tried that with having school 24/7, and that didn't work out." Rodney clasped his hands together and had an evil grin. He also had an evil glint in his eye.

"You'll see, Heinz." He then looked at him. "And school 24/7? Really Heinz? How s that evil?"

"Well, it was evil for the kids. It was also evil for the faculty and staff and also the children's' families and I assume their relatives; I mean, who wants to go to work or school 24/7?" Rodney rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe you convinced him." Doofenshmirtz told Rodney the next day. They, along with a huge crowd, including the Flynn-Fletchers were all gathered in front of City Hall, waiting for the mayor to speak. There were television cameras and reporters standing by. "How did you do it? Most importantly, how did you make Roger say yes?"

"Well at first he said no, and that the law was too trivial to enforce, but then I zapped him with my Persuade-Izer, after that he completely agreed with me."

"Wow! You've done really well for yourself, haven't you?"

"Yes. Yes I have."

"So, why are we here again, mom?" Phineas asked his mom.

"Roger Doofenshmirtz called a press release on a new law he passed." His mother answered.

"What law is that?"

"That is what we're going to find out." Linda replied.

"I hope he announces it soon." Candace said, who was texting on her cell phone. "Because once Jeremy gets off from work, we are going to go out to a restaurant, then to a movie."

"Remember to get back at ten, sweetheart."

"Sure, whatever mom!" She said, not taking her eyes off of the screen.

"I hope it's quick too, Candace." Lawrence said. "I got to get to my antique business. We have got a big sale today for one day only."

"Ladies and gentlemen," The announcer spoke over the intercom. "Boys and girls, get ready for your mayor, Roger Doofenshmirtz!" Fireworks and fog engulfed the stage as high-spirited music and a heart-pounding bass line deafened the crowd from two-story speakers. Roger then came from out of the curtain, waving to everyone as he approached the podium. Everyone cheered.

"I swear," Doof told Rodney. "That Roger specially chose the announcer to introduce him just to bug me." Linda nudged her daughter.

"Okay Candace," Linda told her. "Time to be respectful and listen. Put that away."

"Just a minute." Candace responded, eyes still glued to the screen as she typed.

"This is it!" Rodney said, getting excited.

"Wow!" Doofenshmirtz observed. "You're getting really excited about getting rid of my nemesis, aren't you?"

"Now I have gathered all of you to…" Roger started.

"Mayor, we love you!" Someone shouted from the audience. Roger smiled.

"Thanks…to whoever said that, you're too kind. Now, onto business." He cleared his throat. "A local resident has reminded me of a law that I have overlooked. Now as I'm sure you know; platypuses are illegal to keep as pets in all other major areas, except here."

"Here it comes!" Rodney said, eagerly waiting of what was coming.

"I am hereby banning ownership of platypuses in Dansville." Everyone gasped except Doofenshmirtz and Rodney. Rodney cheered, jumping like a little kid. Doof's mouth went agape in astonishment. "If anyone owns a pet platypus, you should get rid of it at once, or risk a heavy fine. They do not make good house pets; they need the resources out in nature to survive. They are illegal mainly because of the venom in the male platypus' feet. Now, small animals can die from it and maybe small children, but for the most part, it'll give you excruciating pain that may last for a long time. There is a fine to anyone who owns such a pet, they'll be sent to jail and children to foster care if they refuse to give up their beloved animal."

"Goodness!" Linda cried. Phineas and Ferb looked at their mom. They were both concerned with this news.

"What are we going to do, mom?" The red- headed boy questioned. Linda looked at her worried son. Linda looked at Lawrence.

"We've got to do what's right, Lawrence." Lawrence looked at her.

"But it'll break the kids' hearts." Lawrence said.

"I know, but it's the law. We have to do it." Lawrence sighed.

"You're right." He agreed.

"What're you telling dad, mom?" Phineas wanted to know. Their parents looked at them. Linda bent down and put her hands on Phineas' shoulders.

"Phineas," She started, tears in her eyes. "I'm awfully sorry to have to tell you this but…" She took a big gulp, trying not to cry. "It's gonna be scary and it's gonna be hard… We have to get rid of Perry." The kids gasped, even Candace looked up at her mom from her phone.

"What?"

"We have to get rid of Perry."