I have always been, fortunately and unfortunately, obsessed with Yu Yu Hakusho and for as long as I have loved this show, I was always fascinated by Hiei (until late 2010 when I came to fangirl over Urameshi instead, hahaha). But what always drew me to the elusive fire demon was how complicated his character was (and still is). He wasn't simply Hiei the demon, he was someone who had more layers to him under his thickly concealed surface than anyone can imagine. I barely even understand him, but I hope I do this justice.
Disclaimer: All rights go to Yoshihiro Togashi.
Music: Sight by Takeshi Kobayashi
Winter's Bite
I remember the cold. I remember the unshed tears, the pain, and the unwanted loss, but what was most torturous was the burning bite of winter's sharp teeth that seemed to relentlessly find its way again and again on my flesh.
A dark shadow of a demon drifted over snowy grounds. The shadow was in constant movement, faster and faster it went from tree to tree. The body that was attached to the shadow was practically flying, and he barely disturbed the silence that clung to the forest. The falling snow was slow, but it didn't seem like it would stop any time soon.
The owner of the shadow was anxious. Hiei Jaganshi was a proud demon, emanating extreme confidence and power—with good reason, but even he had times when his demeanor would falter. Not many know him though. Being the son of both a fire demon and an ice apparition, how could anyone simply understand him? Underneath his icy persona, there was a beating fire within him that not many can claim to know. It had always been there, a tiny flame that grew when he came across a certain Spirit Detective, and then seemed to have brightened further as his days spent with Urameshi and his friends came to pass.
The cruel fire demon caring for another was ludicrous, and the poisonous emotion that ran through his veins was like a warning. He didn't like to admit that he cared, but from time to time, he would find himself warming up to that new fact of himself.
Hiei shook his head, muttering a curse just barely audible to his own ears. He sucked in a breath, dragging his nails down the bark of a tree as he slid to the ground. He could smell the old things that lived in the forest, he could hear what lurked behind the darkness, and could taste the blood that was shed probably from miles away. Anger swept over him and he bathed in his loathing, losing the calm that was always so carefully built around him. It was not like him to lose his focus. He had accepted long ago that these changes were of no hindrance, and meeting Mukuro only solidified his meager assurances. But from time to time, when he felt even a little bit weak, he wrapped himself in anger, as if it were the only thing holding him up.
With a swift look over his shoulder, his dull, gray surroundings managed to somewhat settle him, forcing down his frivolous emotions. He enjoyed the snow as much as he was discomforted by it. Memories would sometimes cling to the scenery, as familiar as every new crystal seemed to be. Flashes of his crying mother. Of his young sister. He remembered his experiences in that corrupt village of hags, and even dreamed of them. They always haunted him, the memories bringing unwanted nightmares, waiting in the dark recesses of his mind until he could no longer keep his eyes open. Yet, when he met Mukuro, the wintery bite of his dreams dulled to only a simple and yet complex ache—no, it wasn't as bad as it sounded. The two of them shared an unbearable past and were brought together by their pain, and so dreamless sleep was accomplishable because of her love? The two twisted beings finding love in the other was inconceivable.
Hiei sighed, juggling semantics that only wasted his time was pointless and before he could dive deeper into repetitious thoughts, a flash of hair the color of seawater came to view. With his Jagan eye and his keen senses, he wasn't sure why he didn't sense her, let alone find her, but there she was, walking towards him without even noticing him. She was smiling as her small animal friends flew happily about, her soft, vibrant features too sweet for a demon.
The snow that continued to fall, further graying and whitening the scenery, seemed to have bore some color with her just being. His troubled thoughts were pushed away, and the sudden need to see his sister safe that had abruptly overcame him earlier that day was finally brought to a great relief. Emotionally, he felt exhausted.
He clutched his scarf tightly as he lightly moved behind a tree. He smoothly blended with the shadows, the darkness likening to him. He stared into her eyes before he took the last step, the red eyes they both shared, and with that final glance, winter's jaw loosened its revengeful hold. For the second time that day, he closed his eyes and let the darkness take him, leaving an invisible afterimage that could be seen by a certain slant of light, but like many things, it didn't last.