STORY: Guilty Interlude by DarkMoroseXena
DISCLAIMER: These characters do not belong to me & no copyright infringement is intended
CONTENT: Contains love between two adult women but not explicit.
Written from a first person perspective (which is new for me) and inspired by the XOC Gabrielle/Aphrodite shipper thread this short piece is set sometime during season 5 whilst Xena is on the run from the Gods with her baby daughter Eve. Gabrielle finds solace with an old friend.
***
Guilty Interlude
Xena was only too keen to see her mother. The constant travelling with Eve weighs heavily on her. I know I shouldn't begrudge the precious time she spends with Cyrene away from the jealous eyes of the Greek Gods. Why would I mind? Joxer went with her instead of following me for a change. I know that I am not the centre of her world. Eve is her daughter and that is as it should be. She said I should take a little time to visit my own family. I agreed and swallowed my pain. I thought I was with them already.
The very thought of returning to Potadeia makes me feel claustrophobic and I take the river trail instead. It's a mistake. The storm drenches me to the skin even before the river bursts and floods the low grounds. My poor brown horse is exhausted and I seek shelter desperately. I urge him toward the ruins of an ancient temple. It has clearly seen better days and I wonder who it's dedicated to.
I slip from the saddle, limbs numb from the bitter cold and land heavy against the puddled ground. My forehead cracks the stone path and I immediately feel blood trickle down my face.
Her voice surprises me.
"Ew. Grody. Who's bleeding all over my temple?"
I look up shivering from the rain and blink at the vision in pink. I am so very cold. Her slender arms wrap around me and I welcome the warmth of her body against my chilled flesh. I realise I have missed this most simple of comforts.
I crave more.
***
Do God's sweat? I'd never considered it before. Perhaps if they willed it? There should have been something unsatisfying lying here together with only my body slick with perspiration. My mind was wandering until her kiss captured me again and I was undone with the softness of her lips touching mine; her tongue seeking entrance and being granted her divine pleasure.
There was liquid heat between us, the softness of her body as it moulded itself around me. She held me fast until I had no choice but to face my fear and look her straight in the eye. There was nothing but love and acceptance in that gaze and I wondered what it had been now that had made me feel so afraid. Afraid of this and of all the things denied to me this past year. It's hard to journey so closely with someone and still feel so desperately alone.
I wanted her. With every fibre of my being I wanted to be close to her. Now here she was and now that I held her full attention I could see what I hadn't before. Desire. I wondered suddenly if Gods were ever afraid.
Athena's relentless pursuit of baby Eve told me that perhaps this was true. What threat could a baby possibly pose? I remember Hope and feel the old guilt tear at me. This is not what I want to dwell on whilst I lay naked with the Goddess of Love.
Aphrodite's hands frame my face and I feel the unspoken outpouring of love as she gazes at me with her ancient blue eyes. She has a wisdom that she shields from the world. She is the source of all love and its sometimes terrible consequences. I am reminded that she is a Goddess.
White hot heat surges through my body from her touch and I cry out as it burns the wall from my heart. My pain is exposed and I am revealed to her in all my imperfect glory. I can hear sobbing and with a wonder I realise it is me. I blink through my tears and her ancient blue eyes find mine. I am drawn to her. I can feel her energy dancing across my skin and seeping into my senses. She's doing something to me and I don't understand.
"Trust me," she whispers, "And let go."
And I do, with my mind, my body and the tattered remains of my heart. I release it all and surrender before her. She gathers me in her immortal arms, presses her lips to mine and claims me as her own.
***
I leave at first light to pick up Xena's trail and she lets me go without judgement or demand. Part of me doesn't want to leave at all but I have no choice. My path is with Xena, protecting her, helping her however I can. She's working on a plan to keep Eve safe forever and I will be right at her side as always. I'd die before I let anyone hurt her daughter.
I glance back once and for a moment Aphrodite has the most pained expression on her face; as if she's afraid for me. Do Gods know the future? I ignore the chill that teases my spine.
I have to believe that we choose our own fate and I wish she could understand – being with Xena is the safest place to be.