I don't own Ed, Edd n Eddy, they belong to Danny Antonucci. (though he should bring them back)
Chapter I
Double-D was running, more like hampering, down the Lane as he tried to make it to the meeting spot that Eddy had told him to arrive at during an impromptu phone call while he was busy trying to feed his ants. Eddy had said it would be his greatest scam ever. Double-D, his doubting mind already poking holes in the unseen plan, quickly made it up the way until he arrived at the area before the junkyard. There stood a rather large old house, it looked like it might have been a barn back in the day.
Attached above the door was a badly painted sign that read: Reverand Eddy's Chapel, only the p was backwards. Double-D looked up at it and then, the door swung open and smacked him a few yards from where he stood as Ed came out, dressed in a bedsheet and wearing a small trash can over his head. At first, after regaining his senses, Double-D would have thought Ed was attempting to portray a ghost or a spectre. He stood up and dusted himself off, looking over at Ed, "Ed, what are you-"
"No time to jabber, Double-D, we have hitchens to hitch."
"Ed, I don't? What?"
Eddy quickly came walking out behind the door and said, "Hey there sockhead, come to confess for a quarter?"
"Eddy, do you mind explaining this whole thing to me, be-" he paused as he saw Eddy dressed in a white robe that fit over his old black shirt he only wore for family photos and saw he had somehow tied a white tab under the collar, his hair was slicked back also. He looked at him, "Eddy?"
Eddy, giggling, slapped his arm around Edd's shoulders and showed him inside the barn, "Sockhead, welcome to Reverend Eddy's Chapel, operated and ministerized by me, the honorably honorable and venereal Reverend Dr. Eddy McGee, D.D.!"
Double-D looked in awe as a cross with a badly made figure of Eddy hanging off of it was held above the front and there was an altar made of stones, a few pews that were worn and tried, and painted windows on the walls that were made to look like stain-glass windows one would find in a chapel. Which finally dawned on him, he looked at Eddy, "A religious scam!?"
"You got it, Brother D, fully-functional and able to marry and bury ya."
"Excuse me, um Reverend, but how exactly did you get this idea?"
"I was checking out funny vids on the Net, when I saw a link on how to become a minister online for free and hold weddings and other religulous parties, and I got to choose the titles and everything. I got this to prove it," he opened his wallet and showed an official World Church Ministries card that showed a picture of him with his hair slicked back, "And this," he showed on the wall, a framed certificate that endowed him with the right to minister and teach.
"Eddy," Double-D tried to sound as easy as possible, "Scamming kids out of their money with ill-equipment and hokey ideas is one things, but your incessant greed has found a new low. You cannot, with good conscience, seek to use kids beliefs against them to fill your pockets with jawbreakers! Think of the sanctity, think of the hardworking students who go to seminaries every year, think of the-"
"Fact that I'm set in this life and the afterwards?" Eddy chimed in, "Besides, sockhead, I don't see you ever complaining about making money, I thought that was what they taught you in that Hebrew school you went to in Lemon Brook!"
Double-D gnashed his teeth, "Hold it right there, mister. Don't insult my religion based on ill-advised stereotypes and incomprehensible lies. I'm taking no part in this venture. So whatever you do now, Reverend, is without me."
He turned and started walking away, Eddy yelled back at him, "Fine! Go on and leave! Who needs ya, I got Ed!"
Ed came up to Eddy, "Can I keep this trash can on my head?"
"Sure Ed."
Double-D made it back to his home, taking off his yarmulke and throwing it on the bed as he laid on it, the nerve of that Eddy, insulting him and his family. He knew no good was coming from this. Still, he knew eventually he was going to get caught up in it, only a matter of time.
Damn, why did it always have to be him that would fold?
