My name is Olivia Angelica Victoria Cragen. When I was growing up, my life was not all that easy. My egg donor(I refuse to call her mom) was an alcoholic. I was the product of a rape(or so she repeatedly reminded me of while I was growing up). Little did I know that this was one of the many lies she spoon fed me. She was physically, mentally, and sexually abusive, during my entire childhood. It was my sixteenth birthday(there was nothing sweet about that day). Her and her latest husband raped me and beat me into unconsciousness.

They dumped my unconscious body at Mariano Park on North State Street in Chicago, Illinois(we were living there).

A cop named Sergeant Hank Voight was walking through the park with his sixteen year old foster daughter when they came across me. I do not remember what happened next, but Sergeant Voight later told me that he picked me up and sat in the passenger seat of his patrol car(he was there during his break) while Erin(his foster daughter) drove to the hospital, lights flashing and sirens wailing. I woke up as the doctors were starting their exam. I was released into Hank's custody and came to live with him.

Hank later told me that I reminded him of an old friend of his, Donald Cragen. He remembered that friend had a daughter who was abducted by her mother when she was a baby. He asked me if I would take a DNA test, and I agreed with him. I know that surprises you all, but I was of the mindset that my biological father was a rapist. I only agreed to that test so I could prove him wrong. Little did I know, but he would end up proving me wrong. He called his friend, who I would later learn was a New York Police Department Lieutenant by the name of Donald Cragen.

A few days later, Donald Cragen arrived in Chicago, and I met my father for the first time. I was very scared of him at first, afraid that he would hurt me like everyone else has, but I could not have been more wrong. I stayed with Hank for awhile, and he rented an apartment in Chicago.

Flashback:

"Olivia hon, Don's here." I sling my backpack over my shoulder and grabbed my duffel bag. "I'm coming Hank," I yelled as I descended the stairs. I smiled shyly at Don before walking up to Hank and hugging him goodbye. We got into Don's car, and he starts driving me to school. As soon as we arrive at school, he walks me inside and to my locker. After I get the necessary books, he walks me to the door of my first period classroom. I looked at him for a fleeting moment before entering the classroom, setting my books on my desk. I then walk back to the door and wrap my arms around his waist, giving him a hug.

"Have a great day honey. I will be here after school. I love you," he said as he kissed my forehead. For the first time ever, I did not feel my heart clench up in terror. I did not want to run from him. Instead, I murmured, "I love you too," before reluctantly retreating from the embrace and walking into class.

End of Flashback:

After that moment, we got closer. When he came to pick me up that day, I went on vacation with him for two weeks(it was winter break). That was among the best two weeks of my life. We flew to New York, and I got to meet the detectives under his command. He had them all over for a Christmas Eve dinner, and we spent the next day alone together. He showed me my room, and I got to open the gifts he bought me over the years. Each gift got more appropriate for the age I was when he bought them. I also got to open the gifts he bought me for Christmas this year. I was floored. Eventually, the time came for me to return to Chicago. He had to stay because he was finally returning to work. Before I boarded the plane at John F. Kennedy International Airport, he gave me a courtesy shield, wrapped me in a hug, and kissed my forehead. "I have never stopped loving you, and I never will. Stay strong angel. You got this," he said before kissing my head again and reluctantly releasing me from his embrace.

I graduated that school year(I had enough credits to graduate early), and a bulk of the New York Police Department and Chicago Police Department turned out. Hank and I grew especially close, and he remains my god-father to this day. I eventually went to Harvard on a full-ride scholarship, dual majoring in criminal justice and law. I graduated as valedictorian with doctorate degrees in both fields two years early. Much like at my high school graduation, Chicago Police Department and New York Police Department turned out.

Erin, who later adopted Hank's surname after finding out he was her biological father, attended Harvard with me. She also majored in criminal justice and law, graduating as the salutatorian to my valedictorian. We both went on to pass the bar in New York and Chicago while also attending the New York Police Department Academy in Flushing, New York. One might say that we are as close as sisters, and we would agree. We eventually went our separate ways after graduating from the Academy. I became a NYPD detective and now work under my father's command in Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Erin became a Chicago PD detective and now works under her father's command in Chicago's Intelligence Unit.

I am going to close this entry with a note.

To all people currently in an abusive situation, you are not alone. Nothing is your fault. There is a song I really like by Martina McBride called Concrete Angel. The chorus reads, "Through the wind and the rain, she stands hard as a stone in her world that she can rise above, but her dreams give her wings, and she flies to a place where she's loved. Concrete angel." You don't deserve to become a concrete angel. No matter what your abuser says, you do not deserve anything that they are doing to you. You are your own uniquely beautiful person, and nobody can take that away from you.

Until Next Time,

Olivia Angelica Victoria Cragen