Mellie wakes up to an empty bed. She turns to his side, half expecting to touch his warm body. Disappointment settles in. It's not that they don't have a sex life. They do. She's well aware that he now does this as a duty and not out of love and because she loves him, she takes scraps. As long as he doesn't hate her, she takes whatever he can spare.
She gets up, showers and heads for breakfast. She sees him there playing with Teddy. This was perhaps his best look. He adored that baby and although she doesn't show it much, she does too. But Teddy is not a product of love. He was made to essential fortify a political career. He was America's baby and that's what makes her so distant with the child.
She was feeling brave this morning. She takes a seat next to Fitz, instead of the one across from him.
"Good morning." She says smiling.
He looks up to smile at her. "Good morning Mellie. How did you sleep?"
"Great." She pauses to examine his face to see if it was okay to go further. She wasn't one to care much about what others thought of her or any similar nonsense but with Fitz she had to walk on eggshells. "I kind of expected you there this morning..."
"Ah...well I got up early to deal with...an emergency." He returned his attention back to teddy.
She knows what that means. At least he has the decency to try and spare her feelings. She knew exactly what that meant. Olivia. She let it go. She was tired. Utterly tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of scratching for scraps. Tired of loving someone who doesn't love her back. Yes. She knows, she let it get this far. She let him slip away. But damn it, she deserved more. Enough is enough. All she had left was her pride and that too was quickly slipping away.
She suddenly stopped nibbling on the piece of fruit in front of her. She looked up and signaled for the maid to come over.
"Can you please take teddy out to play?" The maid quickly gathered the child and headed out.
"Fitz, we need to talk." He looked straight at her. He looked worried or stressed. She couldn't tell. Lately, it's all been the same.
Mellie got up and signaled for him to walk up with her. She needed privacy for everything she wanted to say. Once they were in the privacy of their bedroom Mellie set at the edge of the bed.
"Fitz I'm tired."
"What's wrong? are you sick?" He rushed to get side. And there it was. Little things like this gave her hope. Hope that he still cares. But she knew she was foolish to think so. He was just being kind. Fitz was many things but unkind was not one of them.
"No, no. I'm fine." She got up to stand next to him.
"Oh did you not get a good night sleep? It's early, go back to bed."
"No Fitz. Just...be quiet and hear me out."
"Alright, Mellie you're worrying me."
"Fitz, we both know there's no love left in this marriage. At least from you end. Because God knows how much I love you Fitzgerald. But that's doesn't matter. I just...I just want to let you know that you're free. Free from this. Free from us. I'm done trying to make you feel what you obviously haven't for a while. I'm tired, Fitz."
"Mellie, are you saying you want a divorce?" He looked genuinely surprised.
"No. Not a divorce. I'm a broken-hearted woman, but I'm not stupid. A divorce now would be the end of any future I dreamed off in politics. You can just keep doing what you're already doing with Olivia except I won't be in the way. I won't scold you. I won't beg you for scraps anymore. I'm done. We will get a divorce the moment your second term is over and you can run away with Olivia. I'm not stupid enough to through my political career away to please you but there's so much humiliation I can take. Go on. Call her. Tell her you have my blessing."
Fitz was floored. Shocked. "Mellie...I don't know what to say..."
"You don't have to say anything. This morning was the last straw. You made love to me last night & run off to see her in the morning. No, not 'made love.' You had sex with me. Just sex. And I know you do it as a duty and Fitz..." She almost lost it right there and then. "Damn it Fitz It hurts. It hurts and I'm tired. Tired of competing with Olivia because I know in this race she doesn't have to run. I have to run. And even if I end up in the finish line first, she'll always win. So that's it. I'm done. I deserve better. I may be cold hearted and a bitch but damn it! I'm still a person with feelings and a beating heart. It seems you've forgotten that. You don't know how much I yearn for you to look at me the way you look at Olivia. But...but I know that's not possible so I'm done. You do whatever you want Fitz."
"Mellie…I."
"Oh God, please don't thank me. At least pretend you're a tiny bit distraught about this. Please pretend that two decades of marriage meant something to you." She looked him straight in the eyes. She expected a smiling Fitz. A happy Fitz. After all this is what he wanted. But instead she saw a conflicted face. As if he wasn't sure about this.