Tony groaned as he woke up. His head was fuzzy and numb, and his mouth tasted of sawdust. Not how he usually woke up; hangovers hurt more than this. And of course, there was the fact that he felt like his bed was made of concrete and that he had no blankets to cover him. When he finally dragged his eyes open, he saw that he wasn't exactly wrong.

He was in what looked like a medieval cell with bars for walls and a door and a pitiful pile of straw covering the floor for a bed. Judging by the groans around him, he wasn't the only one to find themselves waking up in a place they definitely didn't fall asleep in.

He tried to sit up, but found himself slumping back to the floor, if it wasn't for the pair of hands helping him sit up fully, and lean him back against what was definitely a man's chest. Seems like he wasn't the only one in this particular cell, then.

Turning his head, he was met with a familiar emerald gaze. He smiled. If whoever captured them thought that putting someone with Loki would get that person all in a tizzy, they picked the wrong person. They should've gone with Clint, or Thor or Bruce if they wanted Loki to be the one with the problem. Instead, Tony just smiled and got comfortable against the trickster and listened to the others, who he was sure was the rest of the team, wake up.

"The fuck?" Clint's voice asked, sounding dull and sleepy, even in confusion.

The others answered the sentiment, and asked around, trying to see who was there. It was dark, so they couldn't really see anyone outside of a certain range, so they were forced to call aloud and ask.

They finally got around to asking about him, which made him feel slightly offended.

"Tony?"

"'Bout time you guys asked for me," he answered, smirking.

"You're farther than the rest of us," Natasha noted.

"Are you okay, Man of Iron?"

"Yes, Thor, I'm fine as could be! Never better!" Loki snorted, but it seemed that no one else could hear it since they didn't comment. Or maybe they thought that it was Tony who snorted. "So, any ideas on who managed to capture all of and keep us all in this completely unfashionable dungeon?"

"I vote Loki," Clint said immediately. Said person huffed lightly behind him, sounding offended. "It seems like something he would do. And Asgard sounds like some place that would have dungeons like this."

"No, the prisons in Asgard look nothing like this," Thor immediately shot down. "And Loki is not the type to kidnap us when we are unaware."

He could almost hear Loki's eyes rolling. "Not unless I have a plan in place that requires you to be unaware."

The others fell silent. He was sure that if he could see them, all of their eyes would be wide, and the two assassins would be scrambling for a weapon, even though he doubted they had any one them at the moment.

"Brother? Did they get you as well?" Thor asked, sounding confused and almost … hopeful. What a nice brother, hoping that he was captured and likely to be tortured. We're ignoring the fact that they are on opposite sides and Thor has actually been trying to capture Loki for a while and Loki has, seemingly, been trying to kill Thor in return.

"No, I actually helped them, and I just felt like locking myself in here with the rest of you," Loki quipped sarcastically.

Tony sniggered, though the rest of the team fell silent once more.

"Tony," Bruce asked, slowly. "Is he in the cell with you?"

"Yup," he said, grinning. "Are the rest of you not buddied up with someone?"

"No," Steve this time. "Loki, if you do anything to him, I promise that you will regret it." Tony almost wanted to coo at the adorableness of Steve Rogers threatening the god of mischief, unnecessarily, he might add, for nothing more than the fact that he was sharing the same space as Tony.

Loki seemed the share his opinion, if the sincerely amused laugh he let out was anything to go by. "You needn't worry, Captain. Anthony Stark will be perfectly fine while he is sharing a room with me."

Clint snorted. "Yeah, right! You probably—"

"Now, now, let's not fight! You're all guests, here," a voice interrupted him. Tony tensed, not liking that there was an unknown threat that he couldn't see. He felt Loki's arms tighten around him, so he likely felt the same. After a moment, a light flickered on; just one torch by the door, but it was enough to illuminate their captor.

It wasn't anyone they had ever seen before, and she didn't look especially villainous, but since when would someone give themselves away like that? Especially one smart enough to capture all of them. The woman, with red hair and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, grinned at them, seeming to look especially at Loki and Tony.

"I'm sorry for imposing on all of you like this, but it's important!"

The team started protesting, saying that nothing was important enough to take them prisoner, asking what she wanted, and why she was so much of a coward to take them while they were sleeping.

The woman smiled, but mostly ignored them, focusing on the only cell, apparently, that had two people in it. "There are cameras with night vision focused on the both of you. I'm sorry that we had to get all of the Avengers, but we had to make sure that they didn't barge in before we were finished. What we need you to do is have sex with each other! Okay, got it? Awesome! Have fun!" Quickly, she fled the room, taking the light with her.

Shocked silence lasted for a moment before Tony shouted, "If you wanted a sex tape, you only had to ask! And get one in better quality, too!"

"Tony!" The team shouted at him, but Loki laughed, even as he hit him in the back of his head. "What?" he asked, turning around slightly to look at the god behind him, as well as he could with his eyes readjusting to the dark. "I was only telling the truth."

"That's disgusting!" Steve exclaimed, sounding self-righteous. "Why would someone force someone to do something so intimate and private? And just to record it and watch it! Why would anyone want to watch others in such a private moment?"

"You don't know what porn is, do you?" Clint asked dryly.

"I agree with the Captain!" Thor said. "It's wrong to make my brother and Anthony Stark to do such a thing!"

Tony chuckled. "I don't really mind. Well, actually I do mind, since I got captured and all, and the floor isn't all that comfortable. Seriously, if she really wanted a sex tape, she could've just asked, right, babe?"

"Perhaps," Loki answered, sounding amused.

"You're not seriously going to do it, are you, Tony?" Clint asked.

"If that is all she wants, it really is a small price to get out of here," Natasha imputed.

"Yeah, I don't really want to stay here for much longer," Tony added.

"You're not actually thinking of doing it, are you? Here? With Loki?" Steve asked, almost as if he couldn't believe his ears.

"Of course! It's not that bad of a price, really. And it's not like I haven't done it with Lokes before. Far from it actually. Just this time, we're in a dungeon and you guys have been elected to be voyeurs."

The Avengers went silent again. Loki, apparently, found that amusing.

"You seem to love to shock them today, love."

"Me? I recall you being the one doing it all the other times!"

It took a couple more seconds before a gagging sound was heard. "Okay, eww! Please don't tell me you actually had sex with Loki before!"

"I could, but then I'd be lying. I should probably get this out before I forget and do something that would seem weird to you. Loki is my boyfriend."

Silence, once more, reigned supreme over the Avengers.

"Oh, look, we're even."

"You can't be serious!" Steve's voice seemed a little high pitched with that little sentence, but Tony blamed that on the man not really getting that men could be in relationships. Or maybe it was the fact that his teammate was in a relationship with one of their, perceived, enemies.

"This is wonderful! Brother, why didn't you tell me!" Thor sounded as if Christmas had come early—did Norse gods celebrate Christmas? He didn't think so, but he should probably ask, later.

"Eww, eww, eww! Why the fuck would you do that? You know who he is, don't you, Stark?" Tony got the feeling that Clint was very disgusted right now, though he didn't know why. After all, looking at Loki, how could anyone feel anything but desire and lust? And maybe more, if you were him.

"Of course you are." Natasha was the most calm of the responses, but it didn't shock him as much as Bruce's did.

"How are you guys so shocked? It was obvious!"

"It was?" Tony asked.

Loki snorted. "You need to learn to be more discrete, Anthony."

"How the fucking hell was it obvious?!" Clint demanded.

"Think about it! Tony always gets this look in his eye whenever we talk about Loki. It's similar to Thor's, but also different with the protectiveness and as if he doesn't believe that he's evil. And while I tend not to really be conscious during fights, but with Loki, Tony is the most likely to come out with no injuries or really be directly targeted. And when he is, it never seems as if he is really in any danger. Also, when you think about it, the two were practically made for each other."

"Aww! Thanks, Brucie! I knew I could count on you!"

Natasha sighed. "Whatever. Can we get this over with, already? I have some knives that need polishing."

"Fine," Steve sounded resigned. "But we are talking about this when we get home, Tony!"

"And we shall have a magnificent feast in your honor!"

"Thor!" the Captain sounded as if he had been betrayed.

Tony perked up. "Well, okay then! Loki, whenever you're ready?"

Behind him, Loki seemed to be trying to get comfortable on the concrete floor. After a couple moments, he sighed. "I don't approve of this space. It's much too hard and uncomfortable, and I'm afraid you would hurt yourself here. If we are going to do it, I would much rather in a bed, or anywhere else more comfortable."

"I'd love to, as well, Frosty, but we're kinda stuck here."

"Are we?"

That time, Tony joined in on the silence. He almost felt like hitting himself for forgetting that Loki could do that! And how dare he wait this long before he mentioned it!

"Evil, evil, evil Loki!"