Author's Note: I'm actually going to allow flames this time. But if you peeps don't like my stories, then why you reading them? CRAZY PEOPLE! TEEHEE! Imma get started with the story now. :D

The wizard of odd.

Prologue. Or introduction. WHATEVER!

My name is Stan Marsh. I live in South Park, Colorado. Even though the parents who live here are complete morons and the things that happen here are just not normal, I like this town. I have 3 friends. One of them is really poor, always hides behind his orange parka, and is the perv of our group. His name is Kenny. Another one is not really my friend, but we hang out. He is a sadistic asshole who manipulates people and blackmails them so he can get what he wants. He is a fatass, his name is Cartman. And then there's my best friend Kyle. He is Jewish, a daywalker (at least that's what Cartman says he is) he's really smart, and he never follows any fads that happen.

I live with my sister Shelly, who beats me and calls me a turd, my mom, who is probably the most level headed person in our family, my dad, who is incredibly stupid, and my grandpa, who is always trying to kill himself. I have a dog named Sparky. Sure he's gay, but he's my dog and I love him.

Anyways, today I went out to walk Sparky. Although that old lady named Mrs. Broflovski came by me on her bike. (A/N: In this parody, Kyle is not related to his mom. It'll be a little better if they weren't)

"Why hellooooo Stanley. Walking your dog?" She asked in her really annoying voice.

"Um, yeah. It's Tuesday. I always walk Sparky on Tuesday." I replied.

"Oh that's right! But where's his leash?"

"He's well trained Mrs. Broflovski. He doesn't need one."

"Is that right? Well let's see just how trained he really is!" Then she picks up Sparky and places him in a basket on her bike.

"Later Stanley!" Then she just rides off.

"SPARKY!" I yell. I began chasing after her, but that woman rides her bike really fast.

I hate that old woman! She finds out the things that make us happy, then she takes it away from us. And she does it for her own personal amusement.

Angered, I walk over to Kyle's house. Going over there helps me calm down.

"Hey Stan!" Kyle is already at his front porch.

"HI!" I grumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"Mrs. Broflovski stole my dog."

"Why don't you go ask Chef for help." (A/N: In this parody, just pretend that Chef never died.)

"Okay." And so I walk to Chef's house for some help.

I knocked on the door when I finally got there.

"Hello there children!" He greeted as he answered the door.

"Hey chef"

"How's it going?"

"Bad."

"Why bad?"

"Chef, Mrs. Broflovski stole my dog."

"Oh, is this your dog?" He went into his house and came back with Sparky.

"SPARKY!" I exclaimed, then I grabbed my dog. "Where's you find him?"

"He came to my door." Chef replied.

"Thanks chef!"

"You should probably be going home. There's going to be a tornado coming!"

A tornado? Of all the screwed up things that happen in South Park, never once has there been a tornado. We live in Colorado! It's all mountainous here. How is a tornado coming? Oh well, it's always best to take Chef's advice. So I start heading towards my house.

When I got there, sure enough everyone was freaking out trying to prepare for the tornado.

"STAN!" My dad yelled.

"What?"

"GO GET WATER FROM THE STORE!"

"But dad! A tornado is coming, it's too dangerous."

"GO!"

I sighed. There is no point in arguing with stupid people. I start heading towards the store.

Halfway there, I see this weird spiral thing spinning in a distance. It's the tornado. So I run home.

Everyone in my house is already packed into the safest place in the house. And won't let me in. So, I went into my room.

I sat on my bed. Sparky laying next to me. Sparky whined.

"It's okay Spark." I assure him. "It might not even come by here."

But I was wrong. 10 minutes later the tornado came by my house breaking my window. The shards of glass hit me in the back of my head and I passed out.

Author's Note: You probably weren't very familiar with the beginning of the story. But in the next chapter, you will begin to recognize the story. HEHEHEHE!