Summary: Andrew interviews Spike in an attempt to find out more about the nature of the vampyre. Season 7.

AN: Inspired by the style of Anne Rice novels Interview with a Vampire & The Vampire Lestat as well as the BtVS Ep. Storyteller.

Disclaimer: The characters of BtVS are the property of Joss Whedon, Fox & UPN. The only thing I claim is that I wrote this.

Interview with the Vampyre

by Andrew Wells

I am the interviewer Andrew. I am mortal. More or less. I live in the light of the sun, except I burn if I'm not wearing heavy duty sunscreen, so I try not to go out often. But I am charged, gentle reader, with a mission. To enter the landscape of the supernatural and uncover the sinister secrets of those who must not be named. Yes, it is them I speak of. Nosferatu. Dark stalkers of the innocent, drinkers of life, sometimes chained by the cold hard technology of man yet never tamed. Do not be afraid of what you might hear or witness, for I will be at your side, and together we shall cross the threshold into the night god's ebony-

'What the hell do you think you're doing?'

'Huh?' Andrew shaken out of his poetic musings stopped writing.

'I said,' Spike growled, 'What the hell do you think you're doing?'

'Oh, um, Buffy said that if I wanted a truly authentic understanding of the Slayers mission, I must first understand what she heroically stands against. You know vampyres and all that?' Andrew said in a gush.

Spike cocked his eyebrow, 'And?'

'Well, being a vampyre, Spike, I feel that you are the most qualified to answer my questions.'

'Right, slayer wants some time out from your whining and I get the job of babysitting.'

'Um, no. This will be an important reference for the generations of Slayers that will follow after Buffy, with their mystical birthright driving them ever onwards to a life of selfless sacrifice.'

Andrew fidgeted under Spike's stare.

'And I kinda exploded some stuff in the kitchen. The potentials are it cleaning up. Also, Anya threatened to make my Klingon dictionary disappear into a dimension without shrimp if I didn't leave.'

'So you're here 'cause?'

'Well, you're the only vampyre I know that wouldn't bite me.'

'Oh, I so would bite you given half the chance,' Spike muttered around his cigarette, 'If only to stop you from saying vamp-pyre again.'

'Plus, you're like related to loads of other vampyres. And you know the Slayer intimately. Not that I saw anything, just that time with you and Anya on the…' at Spikes glare Andrew rushed on, 'I mean, you've been both sides of the Good Vs Evil fence like Anakin Skywalker, so you can offer a unique view. So… will you do it?' Andrew held his breath in expectation.

'Alright, if you'll shut your gob for five seconds I'll answer you.'

Andrew frowned then coughed as Spike accidentally blew smoke directly into his face.

'Right, let's get this show on the road.'