Okay so I just wanted to start of by saying that this is my first fanfiction ever, so please be easy on me J. My grammar may not be the best, but I will try my hardest for the sake of the reader. I have had this story in my head for a while now, so I finally decided that I should take a try at actually writing something down for a change! For my first update I will post 2 chapters so I can see whether this will be successful or not. If you like my story and want to continue reading please review! Anyway, onward with the story!
Do you ever just stop and remember the days of your youth? On that note, do you happen to remember the magic and wonder that you would experience when you found a coin under your pillow, an egg in your backyard, sand in your morning eyes, and the presents under the tree? Do you remember the thrill and excitement of these discoveries as your juvenile mind would contemplate the magical possibilities of the world, and how one day you would somehow catch the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Sandman, or Santa in their acts of service to children? Well I sure as hell never did.
By now you are probably wondering, "what kind of childhood was that"? So, I would like to inform you that I never considered my early stages of life as "childhood" but rather PCFES. What is PCFES? PCFES stands for pre-conditioning for excellence stage. A mouthful right? (Yeah that's why I go with PCFES for short)
Anyway when I turned about 6 years, I, like just about every kid at that age, stated what I wanted to be when I grew up. The occupation that I planned for my future self happened to be a scientist. Okay you're probably thinking "scientist? Lots of kids want to be scientist, what makes you different"? The difference is I really took this dream to a whole other level, and hence, PCFES was created.
As a child I would spend my mornings watching the discovery channel instead of wasting my precious time with cartoons depicting unscholarly behavior. While the other kids would laugh and play in the snow during the wintertime, I would curl up by the warm fire and immerse myself in a scientific magazine.
I suppose I did take it a little too far at times. Like when I lost my parent's spare key in a storm trying to conduct Benjamin Franklin's electricity experiment, or when I broke the microwave by throwing it out of the second story window trying to see if it would hit the ground the same time as my sock.
Between a mixture of reading, watching informative programs, and conducting experiments (sometimes nearly killing myself in the process) PCFES dominated everything I did in my early life. However, when I turned about twelve years I realized that present science couldn't explain and solve everything.
As my mom lay in a hospital bed dying, she looked to me with sad eyes as I sat next to her with dark circles under mine. For the past couple weeks I had been endlessly reading medical books trying to find something that could possibly save her, something that the doctors may have missed.
In the middle of my reading, I was startled when I felt a weak hand gently take hold of my wrist just as I was about to quickly turn the page. I glanced up at her with confusion as I noticed the small smile gracing her pale face. Then my mother slowly opened her mouth and spoke so softly that I leaned in, trying to cling to whatever few words she could assemble in her state.
"Sometimes we can't fix everything by staring through a microscope Selena… sometimes we just need… to believe that things will turn out okay". Belief? Belief was something intangible, something that could never be fully explained by the principles of science. Therefore, I was not thoroughly convinced of its successfulness in these situations, despite the small hope I had that what my mom told me may have been true.
Not too long after that, she passed away and I lost whatever "belief" I tried to muster for her sake. Like any good scientist would do when their hypothesis was proved correct, I dismissed the power of "belief". Disregarding the silly ideals that couldn't save her, I was empowered to continue to enrich myself with knowledge in a hope that I could one day save people like her.
Now as I walk on a sidewalk through the small town of Burgess five years later, I remember this memory with skepticism, accompanied by a hint of sadness.
Belief? Believing in something never helped anyone.