I Miss You

"Even in the cold darkness, unknowingly, I'm tenderly engulfed as I suddenly noticed... I miss you." -Kazuki Akane

"School's over!" Apollon cheered when class finally ended for the day, "It's time to begin our winter break! Are you excited? Aren't you all excited?!" Winter in Zeus' garden meant a break from the usual school activities of classes and clubs. It had been arranged for all the gods learning about humans to spend a week in the mountains nearby, to refresh their minds and spirits just like humans do. It was all thanks to Kusanagi Yui that they got this opportunity.

"Everyone, you should all make sure you're packed so you're ready to leave tomorrow morning," she instructed, a bright smile on her face. With that said, most of the gods left the room in high spirits, jabbering away with each other excitedly. But when Yui turned to collect her belongings from her desk, she found that Hades was still there, packing away his things in silence.

"Ah, Hades-san..." Yui started, somewhat surprised to be left alone in the classroom with the god, "D-do you need to finish packing tonight?" With all his school supplies cleared up, Hades stood up as he smiled at the human girl who had made a home in his heart. "I wasn't planning to go along with the rest of you," he stated gently.

Nevertheless, Yui's face fell. "Why not?" she asked timidly. Hades' eyes softened as he looked at her. "I believe you already know why," he replied, going on more seriously, "I don't want to come along and have my misfortune ruin everyone else's time."

In a sudden motion, Yui grabbed Hades' hand. "Please come! If you don't, I- No... We'll all miss you!" she exclaimed, a determined look in her eyes and a barely noticeable blush on her cheeks. Hades was taken aback by her words and actions, his eyes widening at the small warmth clutching his hand. That was all it took to convince him to change his mind.

"Kusanagi..." he began, feeling the protective walls he'd built around himself crumbling. His mind raced against his heart, begging him not to say the words that would surely doom him. "I..." he got out before his mind won. As the gentle smile returned to his lips, he pulled his hand away again. "Hades-san?" Yui questioned as he turned for the door.

He paused for a moment, without turning, to state, "In that case, I need to go home and prepare for the week ahead." He didn't see Yui's smile, but he heard it in her excited voice as she exclaimed, "Hades-san! Thank you very much!" He didn't respond aloud, but he nodded once before exiting the classroom.

His heart had seemed dead before coming here, but now he felt it stir, fluttering in a light way that couldn't possibly suit the ruler of the Underworld. As he walked through the halls, he tried to rid himself of the emotions. He couldn't express them to Yui. He couldn't drag her down into his misfortune and misery. This is what his mind told him. But his heart relished in the chance to feel again.

As he packed, his mind warned him that he'd regret his decision to go along; that he should fear the coming of the dawn. His heart could hardly wait to see Yui again.

As planned, the gods and Yui met up in the sports courtyard to begin their journey. They had a rather long walk ahead of them, but they knew that it would be worth it, just like the seaside school had been. While they walked, they talked about what they all wanted to do during the week, mediated by Yui. Apparently, she had requested that Zeus provide the lodge where they would be staying with equipment for winter activities, like skis, snowboards, sleds, and snowshoes.

Hades kept to the back of the group, trailing behind everybody else and watching as they all talked to Yui. Every time one of the others would get closer to her than he'd like, a surge of jealousy flowed through his veins. What wouldn't he give to be up with the rest, putting up a fight for her affections?

But he sternly stopped those thoughts, reminding himself with an agonizing pang that she would be much better off with any one of the others over him. So he remained at the back of the group, carefully watching over them as they made their slow way up the mountain.

They reached the lodge just before noon, and everybody breathed a sigh of relief that they'd finally arrived. After relaxing for a while, fighting over who would sleep where, and eating lunch, most everybody wanted to go outside and play in the snow, mostly led by Apollon's encouragement.

And so, out they went, once they'd bundled up. Loki and Thor wanted to build a snowman, Apollon and Balder decided to try skiing, and Takeru wanted to take up the more sporty snowboard. Tsukito, surprisingly, agreed to go sledding at Dionysus' prompting. That left Hades watching everybody going at their selected activities uneasily.

With so much activity, he didn't want to get near any of them for fear that something bad would happen due to his curse of misfortune. Therefore, he set off in the opposite direction from everyone else, focused on getting as far away as possible while still keeping them all in his vision. He hadn't counted on the high, happy voice calling after him, "Hades-san! Wait up!"

Surprised, he turned to see Yui running to him. He didn't say anything in reply, but he stopped and waited for her to catch up to him. Once she had, she looked up at him with a concerned frown on her face. "Where are you going? Is something wrong?" she asked. In reply, Hades shook his head. "I'm fine," he answered, reassuring her as he looked past her to the rest of the gods, "I just don't want to cause something to happen to any of the others."

Realization dawned on her at his words, and he expected her to return to the rest of the group, but with a smile, she said, "Then I'll come with you to keep you company!" At once, he objected, "You don't have to do that. You should go have fun with the other gods." But she shook her head, disregarding his words as she replied, "Nonsense. I will have fun if I'm with you, Hades-san."

Again, Hades felt that irritating stirring in his chest that launched yet another battle between his mind and his heart. "Fine," he sighed, turning away in order to hide the slight blush that came to his cheeks, "Do what you want." With that, he began to walk again, this time with Yui by his side.

As they walked, Yui led the conversation, talking excitably about the astronomy club and its activities. She wondered if they could go stargazing on this trip and what kind of constellations they might see, and Hades provided answers to any question about astronomy that she could think of, speaking much more easily with her than he would with anybody else.

They had only walked for ten minutes when Yui slipped on the snow. "Ah!" she began to cry, but Hades caught her hand to steady her before she could fall down. "Are you alright?" he asked her once she'd regained her bearings. Her constant smile hadn't fallen in the slightest. She looked back up at him and replied, "Yes, I'm fine."

A foreign voice whispered in the back of Hades' mind then, A warning... a warning... His eyes tightened as he listened to the words repeat themselves, but Yui regained his attention. "Let's keep going, shall we?" she asked, beginning to pull her hand away. But Hades tightened his grip. "H-Hades-san?" Yui questioned, flustered. He didn't look at her, but he stated, "I don't want you to fall again. Is this okay?" Again, he heard the smile in her voice as she answered, "Yes, it's fine. Thank you!"

They began to walk again, this time in silence, enjoying the sight of nature around them. It was all a little bright for Hades' taste, but Yui seemed to be enjoying herself, so he was happy. His heart had quickened slightly on this leg of their walk. Not because it was more physically exhausting, but because of the warmth of Yui's hand in his once again. He knew he had to be careful or he'd fall into the same situation as he had yesterday, yet he could hardly help himself.

And then, it happened. This time, he lost his footing and slipped, unable to stop himself from falling and bringing Yui with him since they were holding hands. He heard her let out a cry of surprise, and he tried to move so as to protect her as they went down. With a jolt, they hit the ground.

Hades had landed on his back, and as he looked down, he found that Yui had landed on top of him, their noses only an inch apart. His eyes widened, but he quickly asked, "Are you okay?" It seemed he was asking that question a lot today.

Yui nodded in response, her eyes still closed from falling. "Yes... You broke my fall. Thank-" she started to answer, but she stopped as soon as she opened her eyes and saw how close she was to Hades. She immediately started apologizing. "I'm so sorry! Let me-" she exclaimed, going to get up. But Hades' hand at her back tightened its grip. Yui stopped moving, looking at him questioningly, a blush covering her face. "Hades-san?" she asked slowly.

Hades also had a blush on his cheeks. To stop her from getting off him had been a reflex, but he found that he didn't entirely regret it. "Yui... I..." he began softly, pausing there just like he had the day before. Should he tell her? His heart was cheering him on, "Tell her, tell her!" At the same time, his mind screamed at him, "You can't! Don't do it!"

His heart won. As soon as he'd made his decision, his heart began to race. He heard it thundering in his ears. He was on the verge of opening his mouth to complete his thought at last, but before he could, Yui frowned. "What's that sound?" she asked in a confused voice. Wait, can she hear it too? Hades thought. It was then that he realized that the sound he was hearing was not his heartbeat.

He and Yui looked further up the mountain where the sound was emanating from, and in that moment, he truly wished that he hadn't come along after all. A wall of snow was barrelling down the mountain in an avalanche, heading right for the two of them.

Now Hades' heart was racing for a completely different reason. As they scrambled to their feet, he heard the same voice from before in his head once again. Tut tut... Even with our warning, you still decided to act... We can't allow that... it whispered, and Hades' blood ran cold as he looked at Yui. "No! Take out your grudge on me, not her! Punish me!" he yelled at nothing. But the voice answered with a chuckle, Oh, believe us... it said before going on in a much darker voice, We are...

"Hades-san!" He was pulled back to horrifying reality by Yui's scared voice. "What do we do?!" she cried, looking between him and the fast-approaching snow. He looked back at her with true fear on his face, an emotion he hadn't felt for a very long time. It probably didn't help the fear that she was feeling, but he couldn't help it, for he honestly didn't know what to do. But he grabbed her hand, uttering the only word he could think: "Run."

And so they ran, though Hades knew it was futile. Sure enough, the avalanche overtook them in seconds. The cold surrounded them and they toppled with it, head over feet in a dizzying whirl. Hades had lost sight of Yui in the rushing whiteness, but he could still feel her hand in his. If he could just keep hold of her, she might have a chance of surviving this!

But he had no such luck. It was at that moment that they hit a tree, jarring the two of them enough to break them apart. Hades felt her grip loosen, then her fingers scrabbling uselessly against his, and then she was gone. "KUSANAGI!" he shouted, though his voice was lost in the roar of the avalanche all around him.

The one thing he could hear clearly was the voice in his head laughing cruelly. This is what you get for trying to achieve happiness... it whispered, though Hades heard it loud and clear. It laughed and laughed until he finally slowed to a stop after what felt like an hour.

Freezing and soaked to the bone, he didn't know which way was up and which was down, but he knew that however bad he felt, Yui surely was much worse off. With that thought alone fueling him, he furiously began trying to find the surface. If he got out, then he could find her.

For the first time that day, luck was on his side, for it ended up that he had come to a rest near the surface. When he felt his hands break through to open air, he felt a brief flash of relief, though it didn't last long. He knew he still had to find Yui.

He was surprised when he felt someone grab his hands to pull him from the snow. At last, he breathed fresh air as he coughed, hearing Loki and Balder's voices past the noise he was making. "We've found Hades, Thor!" Balder called, his voice calm despite the situation at hand.

Hades opened his eyes to the brightness of open daylight to see that Loki and Balder each had a hold on his hands. Loki was in his god form, not seeming to care that he was breaking the rules; he knew that at a time like this, he could use his powers over fire to help. Standing close to Hades, Loki's very presence helped to warm him.

"Who else does that leave to find?" Loki asked, his usual joking voice now very serious. Hades spoke then, standing to push past the two. "Kusanagi. Have you found her yet?!" he demanded, looking around to see that along with Loki, Thor, and Balder, Takeru and Dionysus were also helping in the search efforts, despite being drenched and shivering themselves.

"Wasn't she with you?" Loki asked in return. He hadn't tried to make it sound accusatory, but the way it came out confirmed Hades' belief that he should have been responsible for her wellbeing. "We got separated," he replied shortly, "The important thing now is that we find-"

And then he was struck by a sickening realization. He had been ignoring the obvious answer that had been looming over him ever since losing contact with Yui in the avalanche. His mouth went dry as he went silent, coming to terms with what he knew to be truth. "Hades-san?" Takeru asked, coming closer, "What is it?"

Hades closed his eyes and turned away. "Kusanagi... is dead," he stated, his voice wavering slightly. He sensed everybody pause in their tracks, momentarily distracted from looking for everybody else at his morbid proclamation. "What?!" Loki shouted at his turned back, "You can't just say something like that with no explanation!"

Dionysus spoke up then, his voice quiet, a contrast to Loki's. "Hades... You can't know that for sure..." he said uncertainly. Hades' shoulders hunched as his eyes tightened. They were trying to deny what he knew to be truth... But he knew that no amount of denial would bring Yui back to life. He, above all others, would know.

Suddenly, darkness emanated from him with an eerie blue glow. His hair became longer and his normal school uniform changed to a black toga. In his grief, he had broken through Zeus' limiter and was now in his god form. The newly reawakened lord of the underworld took a moment to steel himself before turning back to the others.

"Can't I?" he muttered dully, addressing Dionysus' doubt. They gasped collectively. Hades' left eye that he usually kept hidden was now uncovered for all to see. Where his other eye was gold and normal-looking, his left was still red, and it was black where the white should have been. What drew the most attention, though, was the thin stream of blood issuing from it to trickle down his cheek.

Seeing that, everyone got the message loud and clear. Though it seemed like Loki, at least, wasn't ready to accept it at face value. Glaring, he scoffed as he turned away. "Yui!" he called, flying off into the sky, presumably for a better vantage point. The rest watched him go, disheartened, but Hades turned away again. There was something he had to do now.

"Uncle Hades! Uncle Hades, what's going on?!" Apollon's sudden voice made him pause. He'd apparently found the rest of them himself. "What's happened? Why are you back in your god form?!" Apollon continued asking questions in his repetitive manner. As usual, he was worried about others over himself.

He'd come right up to his uncle to look him in the eye, but recoiled slightly upon seeing the blood from his eye. Hades looked over at his nephew sorrowfully. "I'm sorry, Apollon," he muttered. With that short exchange, he flew off through the air, heading in the opposite direction that Loki had gone, towards the school. Behind him, the last thing he heard was Apollon's agonizing cry of, "Fairy-san!"

"Zeus!" Hades called, bursting into his arrogant brother's throne room. Zeus looked up at his entrance lazily. "What is it-" he began, but then he took in Hades' appearance and grew angry. "Why are you in your god form? You will be punished-" he started again, but Hades interrupted, going right up to him to loom over him as he sat in his throne.

"Shut up! I'm finished playing your foolish game!" Hades shouted, going on to command him, "You will send me back to the underworld immediately." Zeus glared back, rising from his seat in order to gain some height over his raging brother. "Give me one good reason why I should," he challenged with a scoff.

Hades' eyes narrowed dangerously. "You pompous little-" he hissed, but then his breath caught as he was struck by a thought that made his blood boil. "Did you..." he whispered, though his voice rose in volume as he spoke, "Did you know this was going to happen?!" He grabbed Zeus by the front of his robes, nearly on the verge of throttling his little brother. "Did you?!" he roared, his voice echoing in the empty room.

"Did I know what was going to happen?" Zeus asked, sounding more annoyed than anything, narrowing his eyes, "What is it that happened?" Hades saw that in this particular case, Zeus was innocent. He loosened his hold on the other god's robes before answering in a nevertheless spiteful voice, "Kusanagi Yui is dead."

That, at least, shocked Zeus. "Wh-what?" he asked, unable to believe his ears. In his stunned silence, Hades took the opportunity to continue, commanding him once again, "Therefore, you will allow me to return to the underworld so I can do my job."

Zeus stared at him blankly. "You-" he tried, but Hades lost his patience. "Do it now, or I promise you will suffer in the pits of Tartarus twice as much as the souls who are responsible for this," he hissed. At last, Zeus broke from his daze. "...Very well," he said, raising his hands to send Hades back to his home.

The darkness and gloom of the underworld were the first to greet Hades upon his return. How different it was from what he had woken up to just that morning. So much had happened in so little time... But now he was racing time. He had to make it in time to save Yui's soul. He hadn't been able to save her life, after all...

Approaching Charon, the ferryman bowed and greeted him, "Welcome back, my lord." In response, Hades nodded, greeting him, "Charon." He went on quickly, "Did a girl come through recently? Purple hair kept tied back, brown eyes..." Her looks were rather distinctive, so he hoped that that description would be enough.

Charon thought for a moment before a look of recognition crossed his face. "That girl over there?" he asked, pointing across the river to where shades of the recent dead wandered the banks. Hades looked over to where he indicated and felt his heart quake. It was her. Charon stated, oblivious to his lord's anguish, "She didn't have payment for the toll. Therefore-"

"She comes with me," Hades cut in, his words sharp. Charon stopped speaking, surprised at the change of rules. "But-" he began to object, but he fell silent when Hades turned his gaze to him, narrowing his eyes. "Do I need to repeat myself?" he asked in a deathly quiet voice. Charon shook his head hastily, going off to retrieve her as he muttered, "No, my lord. My apologies..."

Hades waited, watching as his ferryman crossed the river in his boat, sailing right up to Yui. She looked up at Charon, confused, but went along with him nevertheless. Hades' heart ached as she drew nearer. Then, she saw him and her face brightened up. When she got close enough, she exclaimed, "Hades-san!"

Having done his work, Charon bowed and backed away again to resume his duties. "Hey, Kusanagi," Hades greeted in return, cautiously testing the situation. Looking him in the eyes, Yui went on, "I'm so glad to see you! What's going on?" She looked around her at the dark underworld as she said, "It got dark so suddenly after that avalanche..."

She didn't realize that she was dead. Hades intended to keep it that way.

As it was, it would seem to her like she was only dreaming. Even if things didn't make logical sense, she would accept them as truth. And so, Hades painfully forced a gentle smile to his face. "Yeah," he replied, "It took a while to find everyone." With that, Yui looked around as if expecting to see all the other gods. "Where is everyone anyway?" she asked.

"They're all asleep," Hades lied, keeping up the illusion she had constructed around herself. It was so easy for him to lie to her. He would do anything for her happiness.

As she looked back up at him, the smile returned to her face. "Ah, I see! Then what are we doing out here?" she asked, growing confused again. Hades gestured to a path nearby. "We're taking a walk," he replied, setting off. Yui followed him unquestioningly.

They walked in silence through the cold underworld. Yui kept looking up with a soft smile on her face at the stars far, far above which had been Hades' only source of joy many times in the past. Hades, on the other hand, was too busy thinking about their destination to enjoy the trip. The smile was quickly falling from his lips as he pondered. Nevertheless, he was determined to see this through to the end. He would ensure Yui's happiness, even at the expense of his own.

He should talk to her; he knew that he'd regret not doing so later. But at the moment, he was savoring the few dwindling minutes left with her, gazing down at her content face as they walked along.

Suddenly, Yui noticed that Hades was watching her, and she looked up at him, but her smile fell away when she saw how miserable he looked. "Hades-san?" she asked, "What's wrong?" When he realized that his emotions were showing on his face, he quickly smiled again reassuringly. "No... It's nothing," he said in reply.

Her eyes had gone wide though as she took in his full appearance, seemingly for the first time. "How strange..." she murmured, "I just noticed... Why do you look so different?" Hades cursed himself. He wasn't doing a good enough job keeping her unaware. They were only halfway to their destination. He had to do better.

"I broke through Zeus' limiter. It seems I understand the human heart enough to graduate," he lied again, smiling at her kindly, "It's all thanks to you, Kusanagi." The big, blithe smile returned to her face upon hearing that. "That's wonderful, Hades-san!" she enthused.

At that, Hades breathed a slight sigh of relief, though they still hadn't reached the end of the path yet. He tried to think of something to talk about to keep Yui distracted, but he was saved the trouble when she spoke, looking up at the stars again. With a sigh, she commented, "The stars are beautiful tonight. Don't you think so too, Hades-san?"

Finally, he too looked up at the starry vista, but he couldn't possibly enjoy it right now. Still, he nodded and agreed, his words beginning to stick in his throat, "Y-yeah... They are.." They spent the rest of the walk talking about the stars. It was so like the final conversation they'd had in Yui's life... Hades almost forgot where he was and what was happening.

Almost.

Sooner than Hades liked, they reached the end of the path, Yui's final destination: the Elysian Fields. The time had come to say goodbye for the last time. He stopped short suddenly. "Wait," he stated. Yui paused, looking back at him. "What is it?" she asked.

This was it. Steadily returning Yui's gaze, Hades explained, "This is as far as I can go. You have to keep going without me." Yui's face fell at once. "What? No, I want to stay with you!" she cried, even more confused than before as she moved back towards him. The illusion was beginning to slip once more.

"Kusanagi," he said calmly, gaining her attention. A soft, painful smile came to his lips as he concluded, "It will be okay. I promise."

"Hades-san..." she whispered, frowning, not seeming to know what to do. But eventually, she got a determined look on her face and nodded, saying, "Okay." It almost hurt Hades to see how blindly she trusted him. Yui started to turn to continue down the path alone, but Hades couldn't stop himself from calling out to her, prolonging this last moment with her as long as he could.

"Kusanagi," he called, though he remained in place. She turned back toward him, a question in her eyes. Now that he had her attention, Hades didn't know what to say. But then, he suddenly remembered the fateful decision that had caused this calamity in the first place. "Kusanagi, I... I was going to tell you something the last time I saw you," he began slowly. There was a long pause as he considered what to say next. He was brought back to the present when Yui prompted, "What was it?"

And then Hades said it. Taking a deep breath, he replied, "Nevermind. I'll tell you later, alright?"

With such simple and yet difficult words, the illusion was restored. Yui smiled and nodded, agreeing, "Alright!" And then Hades watched as she walked on into the Elysian Fields, never wavering in her steps. She would spend eternity in paradise, forever waiting for a 'later' that would never come.

And Hades... Hades would be left alone in hell, forever separated from the one he loved. He kept watching her go further into the lands beyond his rule. Only then did he allow himself to say the words she would never hear from him as a few tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I love you eternally, Yui," he breathed, "I shall always pray for your happiness. Perhaps with me gone, you'll be able to achieve it."